What happens when the pain you’ve spent years pushing through finally demands your attention? In this Coach’s Corner conversation, Coach Fergie and performance coach John Denney explore the difference between acknowledging pain and allowing it to control you, why buried physical and emotional pain can eventually surface in unexpected ways, and how the stories we carry from our past can quietly shape our behavior today. They unpack the power of having the right people and systems around you, why external success doesn’t always create internal peace, and how shifting from “So what?” to “So what can I do?” can move you from reaction into action. It’s an honest conversation about resilience, self-awareness, perspective, and learning when to push forward—and when it’s time to actually listen.
Coach fERGIE’S tOP 5+ Knowledge Nuggets and Take-Aways
- Pain lives on a spectrum: burying it can be destructive, but allowing it to dominate every conversation can be just as limiting. ⚖️
- Share your struggles with people who can actually help you move forward—not simply with anyone willing to listen. 🎯
- When somebody lets you down, taking it personally can make their behavior your burden. Your response is where your control lives. 🧭
- What you resist can persist. Ignoring something uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily make it disappear—it may simply find another way to surface. 🌊
- Some will, some won’t, so what?” Stop exhausting yourself trying to drag everyone along on a journey they haven’t chosen. 🚪
- You can honor what happened without allowing the worst chapter of your life to become the story you tell forever. 📖
Recommended Resources – Hover and Click
🌐 Visit The Harmony Exercise Website
🔥Show Sponsor Steve Austin’s Dynamic Team with Rize Mortgage
Please Consider Supporting the 988 Suicide and Crisis Hotline
- 🔹Valuable Time-Stamps 🔹
- 🕐 03:45 — Finding the Balance With Pain
- 🕐 06:40 — Systems Matter More Than Goals
- 🕐 15:05 — Pain Is a Warning Sign
- 🕐 18:05 — Childhood Stories Shape Adult Beliefs
- 🕐 24:15 — Pressure Can Sabotage Performance
Artwork by Dylan Allen
Videography by Aubrey Aerials Marketing, LLC
Speech Transcript
Coach Fergie: Hey, Varsity Squad. Welcome back to another edition of Level Up Conversation with Coach Fergie. I’m your host, Scott Ferguson, blessed to be your gap coach, helping businesses, leaders, entrepreneurs, athletes, students, and everyday people bridge the gap between where they are and where they’re capable of going.
Just a really quick knowledge nugget, coaching knowledge nugget this week, squad. Two people can experience almost the exact same situation and walk away with completely different lives. Why? Because the event doesn’t always determine what happens next. The story does. I’m blessed to coach a young budding entrepreneur cut from the same cloth as me, middle class family, never handed anything, no monetary or encouraging help from his family, and he recently made his first million dollars.<READ MORE>
Just a really quick knowledge nugget, coaching knowledge nugget this week, squad. Two people can experience almost the exact same situation and walk away with completely different lives. Why? Because the event doesn’t always determine what happens next. The story does. I’m blessed to coach a young budding entrepreneur cut from the same cloth as me, middle class family, never handed anything, no monetary or encouraging help from his family, and he recently made his first million dollars.<READ MORE>
And one thing we work on i- is making sure his [00:01:00] success doesn’t change the story from, “I’m building something” to, “I better not lose what I built.” See the difference? Same business, same bank account, same person, but one story creates possibility, the other creates fear. It seems we do this quite a bit and pretty much everywhere and a lot of times, at least once in our lives.
Someone doesn’t text us back, we create a story. The client says no, we create a story. Your boss says, “We need to talk,” and before the meeting even happens, you’ve already fired yourself. So here’s the nugget. Before you react, ask yourself, “What do I know and what am I assuming?” Separate the facts from the fiction because you’re going to tell yourself stories either way.
Make darn sure you’re not writing one that works against you. And today is our, squad, is our monthly edition of Coach’s Corner. I’m proud to bring back in studio a man that I respect immensely and I’m blessed to have coach me, Mr. John Denney, a sports performance coach for top golfers, teams, Olympians, business owners, entrepreneurs, et cetera.
He’s one of the paddleboard pioneers, making the first stand-up paddleboard instruction video to pass one million views. He has [00:02:00] worked with Olympians and also PGA and LPGA golfers, including Lexi Thompson. And also my guy here in my presence was, I attempted a 50K race last weekend, and John had the, The awesome task of helping me around with my last loop that I did, and I’m gonna apologize to him right here on the mic, because he was trying to get me fired up be- before it and I was like, “Shut up, John.
I just wanna get through this.” And what I was feeling is I was feeling pain physical pain. Mentally I can’t be broke that much, but I became mentally broke, but the, the pain was unbearable. Again, I had never ran more than six miles at a clip, and I attempted 31 miles. I ended up doing 28.7, so technically, yes, I’m an ultra runner, but at the same time it was brutal, but I can’t wait to do it next September 11th, 2027.
And John, thank you for coming in, brother, and thank you again for Saturday. No- It was amazing, brother …
Coach John: no problem.
Coach Fergie: It was fun. Happy to be
Coach John: there.
Coach Fergie: It was fun. We had a tent set up. Yep. Susan [00:03:00] was running it. I ended up having, through the day, like 21 people come through. Amazing. At least say hi. A couple of them did laps with me and stuff.
That was a lot of fun. And I texted you this week that what we’re gonna talk about is giving your pain a voice, right? And you texted back and it was awesome. You were like, “Yeah, I think we’re gonna have different opinions on these,” and that’s what I love about us, is that we can have these conversations and still be good friends.
It’s it’s awesome. But can I ask you, what… When you hear that phrase, give your pain a voice, what does that mean to you?
Coach John: Is it not giving your pain a voice or giving your pain a voice? Which one do
Coach Fergie: you come from? Giving your pain a voice. Okay. Because Saturday I did that. You witnessed it on the spot.
I very rarely… I’ve been through a lot of stuff mentally, and I’m very hard to mentally break, and I think I stopped three times on our 3.1 mile walk on the way around, and it was hurting. Like, physically pain, but it also broke me mentally. So what do you feel like with, when I say giving your pain a voice?
Coach John: I think it’s a spectrum, right? Because I [00:04:00] think that at one end of the spectrum, people try to stuff their pain and hide their pain and not give- … their pain a voice. And I think on the other end of the spectrum, you have the whiners of the world that can, that’s the only thing they give their voice to is their pain.
Yeah. Whatever pain it might be. So you have this continuum, and it’s finding that place where we can not deny our pain, because I really believe what we resist persists and ends up coming out even sideways and worse. And so learning to talk to the right people. One of my favorite pieces of advice about pain is from Earl Nightingale.
He says, “Only talk about your health if it’s good, unless you’re talking to your doctor.” So if someone can help you- That, that’s a
Coach Fergie: solid man. You and Brian Munz back there- … said yes after he popped a filling.
Coach John: If someone- If someone can help us with our pain, then yes, we wanna share with them in a, in a- in, in, in a productive manner. Something that we can actually do. I felt
Coach Fergie: like I was in a safe space with you.
Coach John: Oh, [00:05:00] completely.
Coach Fergie: When we were walking and it was just like, you’re like, “All right, Fergie.” And I’m like, “Shut up, John.” I apologize, man. It’s all right. I’m gonna say it out to the world.
Coach John: Listen.
Coach Fergie: And it was a… ‘Cause, I- I’m just curious, like growing up, you and I have different backgrounds growing up, but I know you busted your butt to get to, from where you grew up to where you are now, okay? What were you taught e- either directly, indirectly to do with pain?
Talk about it, hide it, fix it, push through it. What were you kinda taught growing up?
Coach John: It’s funny you ask. I don’t think I was taught much about it, so I’ve just learned it over the wor- learned it over the years and, so I’ve learned these- coaching nuggets, so to speak.
Yeah. And one is don’t take things personally. So i- if I’m find myself especially in emotional or mental pain, and I think that there’s, pain’s a wide spectrum because mental pain, emotional pain, physical pain, like you were saying, you’re hard to break mentally and you’re probably hard to break physically.
I was watching you guys. But the is understanding those different levels. We were talking about a mental pain, emotional [00:06:00] pain, and I think that, so I don’t think I was taught much about it, to tell you the truth. I think that’s something I figured out in my adult life- Figure it out
how to deal with it.
Coach Fergie: That’s me, too. It was kinda like my dad, “Shut up, deal.” And I love… Dad, I love you, but the you know you said that quite a few times. Just shut up and deal with it, and then my mom would be like the four words, “This too shall pass.” And it’s the truth. But,
Coach John: and I personally I’m not a fan of long distance physical pain. I’ve never been someone to be drawn to a marathon or an ultra- … marathon or that type of thing. I’ve always been more of a quick thrill kinda guy.
Coach Fergie: Yeah, like Jaws? Yeah.
Coach John: Surfing
Coach Fergie: Jaws too. And you said I’m crazy.
I’m like, “Dude, I would never even fathom it.” Maybe, but, yeah, the squad you’re hanging around with, you were safe-ish.
Coach John: Like anything else, you don’t start there.
You work your way up to those things. And so you have the systems in place. I was watching a comic last week, and he said, he goes, they were talking about how do you create the discipline to achieve your goals?
And he said, I don’t think it’s about the goals. I think we all have goals. We all wanna be a [00:07:00] success. We all want these things.” He goes, “I think it’s about systems. It’s developing systems that work.” And my light bulbs went off. I’m like, “Oh, that is exactly what it’s about.” And looking at myself as a 64-year-old, I’ve developed these systems, which I’ve shared with you.
The G7 warm up, the harmony exercise- Amazing. Yes, sir … the heart math, the just the different systems I have in my life which have helped me. So I don’t teach anybody anything. I share the systems that work for me, and you can try them and not try them, take a piece of them, … whatever you wanna do.
But I… So wh- when I heard that idea that it’s not about goals, it’s about developing systems that work, those help you achieve your goals- …
Coach Fergie: and
Coach John: give you the attitude
Coach Fergie: you need. So you say that because, this year that’s coming up, yes, I’m throwing my hat back in the ring. I’ve already signed up for it, for September 11th-
2027. But it’s gonna be the systems, where, I’m putting a local coach on me that was there, that talked to me afterwards, and he’s like, “We can get this next year.”
Coach John: Oh, yeah.
Coach Fergie: [00:08:00] You’re a lap done, thing is, if I had another hour, I think I might’ve been able to rest and then figure out it one more time.
Possibly. I don’t know, but-
Coach John: I, Scott, I’m gonna say something. I think if you’d used your hours before the race a little better, you probably might’ve-
Coach Fergie: 100%. ‘
Coach John: Cause I- Yes … you were a nervous wreck when I got there, and I’m like, I don’t think he’s done the G7. I don’t know if he’s done the Harmony, but I, he doesn’t seem to be having himself in the right space for this.”
He’s already in there-
Coach Fergie: It’s not that I coach my athletes.
Coach John: A- and I noticed that right away. Yeah. And so you’d been let down by someone who didn’t help you set up the 10. You’d been- Yeah … so you’d gotten off t- y- the little bit of a rocky start. You were a little short with Susan.
I was watching the dynamic there, and I’m like, “Oh, he’s already done a lap.”
Coach Fergie: Yeah.
Coach John: He hasn’t- Yeah … started yet.
Coach Fergie: Yeah, I was… That was something, again, babe, I apologize on that as well. She’s such a trooper. She’s seen me under the pressure, and usually she’s she’s just she pulled me aside and she’s “It’s gonna be okay.
We’re fine.” And it was just being let down by people that I’ve did so much for, there’s a lot of free coaching sessions out- … of that person that [00:09:00] I’ve helped, and in calls that I took at 2:00 in the morning when that gentleman was, like, stuck on something, and I just really felt let down, and I shouldn’t have let that
Coach John: happen.
No. Yeah. ‘Cause don’t take anything personally. It’s never about us. So if we can, i- they’re just, those are just opportunities to show our mastery- 100% … and not get sucked into the pits of that stuff.
Coach Fergie: 100%. That’s, and I let that happen, and I’m human. I- Yeah … it happened.
And then, because it, again, it was my first attempt at something like that. Oh, yeah.
Coach John: Crazy.
Coach Fergie: And it was, it, and, but it ended up just the support system, from all the guys that showed up, from my jujitsu coach, to guys that I served with, to Dan, to a lot of the other people.
It was just amazing.
Coach John: Do you know that out of all the people who came to support you, six of them-
Coach Fergie: Came
Coach John: to do Harmony … you had brought to my dock?
Coach Fergie: Yes.
Coach John: And that’s not even all of them, ’cause there was a couple other people you’d brought that weren’t there. So I was like, pe- ke- people kept coming up to me saying, “Yeah it’s Scott brought me to your dock.”
And I’m just like- … wow. And then it was one after another, and I’m like, he’s really shared my philosophy- Yeah … with [00:10:00] people with no- I was the opposite. If I found something that worked for me, I wouldn’t wanna share it. Yeah. I like don’t cast pearls before swine.
No,
Coach Fergie: I got
Coach John: you. Which, a- and, but watching the people embrace it and the different levels of people you’ve brought to my dock is like, or not different levels, but different worlds. Sure. From Dan to the mortgage people- Yeah … to completely different worlds, but they all see a little bit of value where you can help them.
Coach Fergie: Yeah, and it’s it’s brought them closer to their walk with God. They don’t exactly have the same beliefs. One of them’s like hard, hardcore Baptist, right? Another in Catholicism, then there’s, other one that’s into the Buddha world that was actually there, but they were like, man, just sitting there in that dock, and God is, I am.
Like they’re closer.
Coach John: Yeah,
Coach Fergie: absolutely. And that’s, I think that was an amazing part of it. And a lot of them are like, “Hey, when am I going back?” So I gotta pick a Tuesday when, you come back and whatnot. It was and again, this is the last I’ll really speak on the race, but it was an [00:11:00] experience that I, like in retrospect, I enjoyed it.
In the moment it was a little bit different. And it was, and I, and again, it’s different worlds. I love to do that stuff. I like to do things that are gonna push me, that’s gonna give me… and again, it comes from having to prove myself growing up, right? It’s a story that I started with before, that I had the story that I would tell myself a lot that I’m not good enough, so I would push harder and harder.
Coach John: I’d like to point something out about this race. There were two different races you could sign up for. You could sign up for this 50K, where you tried to go 30 miles as fast as you could, or you could sign up for the 12- 12 hour … hour race. So how far can you go in 12 hours? And when we weren’t gonna make the 30 miles, I’m like you’re not quitting on the 12 hours, so we’re gonna- Yeah
find out how far we can go in 12 hours.” Exactly.
Coach Fergie: You shifted my perspective there, Fergie.
Coach John: You signed up for the wrong race that day. That was
Coach Fergie: I didn’t, this is rookie. I didn’t even know there was a 12-hour. Okay. I thought it was like, oh, 50K. Greg, who’s a buddy there, was like, he’s like, [00:12:00] “Hey, Fergie, just do this.”
I’m like, “Okay, whatever Greg, that’s cool.” And do it. But again, it’s all about preparation. It’ll be better and, I’m just looking forward to it and,
Coach John: you know- Steve Austin came.
Coach Fergie: Yeah, Stevie came. Yeah, a sponsor of the show came. It was a great time. And a couple people that I didn’t even fathom they were gonna show up and they came out, which was awesome.
Did a lot of Instagram reels on me and all this stuff. I thought it was pretty cool. And speaking of Steve Austin, we are going to throw it to Steve for a mortgage nugget of the week, and when we get back, we’re gonna deep dive a little bit deeper dive into acknowledging if pain is, refusing to acknowledge pain or is it a form of avoidance?
So Steve, please take it away.
Steve Austin with Rize Mortgage – Show Sponsor: Thanks, Scott. Happy Saturday, everyone. This is Steve Austin with the Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team here with your Mortgage Nugget of the week. Owning a home is not only a great life milestone to accomplish, it is also a step towards building lifestyle flexibility. Owning a home helps to create long-term monthly payment security with a fixed rate program, and [00:13:00] as equity builds in the property, it opens up opportunities to utilize the equity for investments, projects, et cetera.
Purchasing a home doesn’t lock you down. It’s a step in the right direction to building the financial freedom you’re looking for. To find out more about how homeownership can enhance your lifestyle, give us a call at 561-250-6044. That’s 561-250-6044. That’s it for this week. This is Steve Austin, your branch manager, NMLS 762328 with the Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team, NMLS 1604663, an equal housing lender.
Rize Mortgage Spot: Are you looking to finance your dream home, vacation getaway, or an investment property? The Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team and Company is here to help. Steve Austin and his team, their expert loan advisors, combine local knowledge with cutting-edge technology to make your financing process efficient and seamless.
Whether it’s your first home or your next investment, trust Steve Austin and the Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team and [00:14:00] Company to guide you every step of the way. Visit them today and experience the perfect blend of technology and personal touch. Steve Austin’s Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team, your local experts in residential financing.
Call Steve today at 561-352-9278. That’s 561-352-9278. 561-352-9278. NMLS number 1604663.
Coach Fergie: Stevie, thank you so much for the Mortgage Nugget of the week. And also, I know that Mr. Warsh not bringing the rates up a little higher is gonna make our coaching sessions a little bit more creative, I’ll tell you that right now, but that’s okay, man. We’re back with my good friend, Coach John Denny.
And John, i- since we’re talking about giving pain a voice, can refusing to acknowledge pain become its own form of avoidance? In other words, can I’m tough [00:15:00] sometimes be socially acceptable way of saying, “I don’t wanna deal with this?”
Coach John: Completely.
Coach Fergie: Okay. A-
Coach John: and but I think the one… pain is a warning sign.
That’s why pain pills, when we start to mask the pain, when we start to avoid the pain, it’s gonna come out at some point or another. I don’t think that you’re gonna avoid it forever,
the more you deny it. So you wanna use it as a warning system. So if you have pain in a part of your body, it’s trying to tell you something.
Something’s not right. If you’re having pain emotionally or mentally, it’s telling you that something’s wrong, so how can we, adjust it and fix it? So yes. Yeah. Denial of pain, stuffing pain, it’s gonna-
Coach Fergie: Catch up …
Coach John: it’s gonna come back, is, yeah. Yeah. ‘Cause what we resist persists, and it’s gonna, it’s gonna boil up like a pressure cooker.
Coach Fergie: I love that, that squad where you said resist. What we resist persists. And, to kick that back to you, is that acknowledging it and then [00:16:00] working through it? How is your philosophy on that, about resisting stuff?
Coach John: I know what I want. I wanna feel good, I wanna feel healthy, I wanna feel mentally happy, I wanna have a good attitude.
So when tho- when I’m not feeling peaceful, when I’m not feeling happy, when I’m feeling- upset in my physical body. There’s something going on, so I need to take action. And I talked about it in my sermon last week, but- So far or so what? So what? Yes, so what? Yes. What can I do now? What can I do? It gives me all the options.
Yeah. And maybe so- s- maybe sometimes it’s go to a doctor. Sure. Maybe sometimes it’s go to a therapist. I don’t know what it is, but if I’m seeking, knocking, and asking, I’ll find the answer. The universe wants to help me.
Coach Fergie: I loved how you flipped it from so what to so what am I gonna do?
So what, that was… It was an amazing… If you got it, I’m gonna actually put that talk, that sermon into the show notes here- Okay. … today for them to click through, ’cause it, it resonated. It was a day late for me, [00:17:00] but- … but it resonated big time.
Coach John: The, the title of that sermon was Some Will-
Coach Fergie: Yep
Coach John: Some Won’t, So What?
Coach Fergie: Yep.
Coach John: And we have to know that.
Coach Fergie: Yes.
Coach John: And if we know that, we won’t get attached to those who aren’t coming with us.
We won’t try to be saviors of the world all the time.
And we’ll be open to what actions we can take to help both sides.
Coach Fergie: Yeah, a- absolutely. And then, but again, going back to how people usually some don’t, so what.
A lot of people say that so what, so what? Oh, yeah,
Coach John: yeah.
Coach Fergie: Instead of so what can I do about it? What action can I take? So to lean into it, and that’s where I caught, I was like, man, that’s amazing. That w- that hit.
Coach John: And the whatever. It shocked.
Coach Fergie: And whatever.
Coach John: Whatever.
Coach Fergie: Whatever. You
Coach John: know, no.
Whatever?
Coach Fergie: Whatever. Yes. Yes. Whatever I want. Yes. I love that. I love that. You’ve mentioned mental a couple times now, so let’s take this outside of physical pain. Someone was rejected, abandoned, embarrassed, bullied, cheated on, lost a business, had a parent who never believed in them.
How can pain from 10, 20, 30 years ago, right? And I know we’re not therapists- … but how can that pain from 10, 20, [00:18:00] 30 years ago still be speaking through their behavior today, even if they never talk about it?
Coach John: Because those are what become our fundamental belief system deep down, that it’s gonna r- s- the stripes- The stories
of a tiger. Yeah. The stripes of a tiger are gonna show. They can’t hide them forever, you can… and sooner or later, you’re gonna see them. So those deep embedded stories. When I started realizing my fears and my stuff around money- I started hearing the voices from my childhood telling me certain things like, “You can’t…
You don’t believe this,” and, “Don’t shake that tree,” so I started having these beliefs, and then I was like, “Oh my God, those are from before I even could think.”
They were literally programmed into me that early.
And they created the foundation of my, of how I deal with the world, which in a lot of areas is not the healthiest way.
Coach Fergie: True. Yeah. And I had the same thing where I had such a chip on my shoulder, the military. And [00:19:00] again, I love my dad. My dad is my best friend, but he was never, ever in a prosperity mindset. And not even talking money, I’m talking a lot of things where it’s just the sky is falling kind of thing, right?
And due to his upbringing, he was a sharecropper in Alabama, picked cotton, right? Brian got to meet him, and he’s a good old boy. But he never had that, “Go get ’em,” or, “Don’t have it.” So I was programmed. So when I got out of the military, I, my first inclination, let’s print money.
Let’s just go do it, and I did, but then I had advisors and mentors that were like, “Watch your money. Something’s gonna happen in ’08, ’09. Something’s going to hit us.” And I didn’t listen to them. And it did. And, but I just lived my story. I did it, I lived it out. I was telling myself… And, but on, when I was saying, “Oh, I got it.
Real estate will never fall,” there was a fear that was a pain that was inside me going, “I don’t even deserve what I have now.” It was the story that I started this, whole session out, today, or session. Our talk out today. It was the stories I was telling myself, and I still battle that, brother.
Coach John: Oh.
Coach Fergie: I do, [00:20:00] 100%,
Coach John: it’s not a battle it’s changing those stories around to ones that work for us. Sure. And that’s the whole life. That’s what we talked about in our first talk ever- Yes … was about those stories we tell ourselves, and the ones that we’ve allowed the uni- universe to tell for us and we believe.
Coach Fergie: How about people that, like I’m sure… I don’t know if you ever got this when you were young, but, I do know your background, and how, you’re raised with, monetary was pretty good- … for you, right? So can privilege create its own complicated relationships with pain? If somebody looks at your life and says, “What do you have to complain about?”
Can that teach a person to invalidate their own struggles because some, somebody else supposedly had it harder? You know what I’m saying? It’s like-
Coach John: I totally know what you’re saying. And when you, when the world’s telling you have everything that the world needs, and you don’t feel that inside, yet you look outside, you’re like, “Wow, I should be really happy because I do have these material things,” there, it be, it creates a confusion in us.
We don’t understand why this outside world isn’t changing into [00:21:00] inner happiness and inner calmness, and it won’t, right? And somewhere we need to wake up, just be like, “Whoa, I need to get that first.” L- Lexi was very successful when she first came to work with me. She’d won a major.
She’d had- … lots of money, but there was no internal happiness. And it was like she’d been taught, “If you do these things, you’ll become happy.” And then she came to the realization that didn’t work.”
Coach Fergie: Sure.
Coach John: Started switching it around, working on her happiness, and then all those things just added to her happiness at that point.
Coach Fergie: Got it. Got it. Yeah, and then when you’re seeing somebody of that stature when you work with and that happiness starts to happen, does it stick?
Coach John: Ugh. Yes. We don’t go… Once we’ve had glimpses of the truth, once we’ve started to awaken to this, this straight and narrow beam of light, so to speak, and we’re, we start to live our, we start to get in alignment, as you say.
I love it. Yeah. We start leveling up. When those things start to happen, we don’t go backwards. I was just working with someone who lost a good friend, and she was [00:22:00] extremely distraught for the last week, and she was telling her story to everyone that would come in the room. And one, and she was, and she’s like, “Oh,” she’s like, “But every time you tell that story, you start reliving the situation, right?”
“So your body doesn’t know any different, so you get heavier and heavier.” And it was like this light went off. She goes, “I’m not gonna tell the story anymore.” And I’m like, “Right on.” And within 24 hours, everything shifted. And then she called me back. She’s like, “Wow, I feel completely different.”
Sure. I’m like, “Yeah.”
Coach Fergie: I know I coached somebody, and you know this person, who tells his story about losing a friend in combat, and he has to go through so much mental hygiene to get out of it that he… But on stage, he gets paid to tell this story. And he’s reliving it over and over. So when he comes to me and I’m coaching, we have to kinda flip the script out of that.
You, you- Yeah … see how that could affect?
Coach John: This is a really important point that you’re bringing up right now. When most people go through a traumatic [00:23:00] experience which can really rock their emotional wellbeing, people who don’t really understand, what they do is they start reliving that moment. Now-
Coach Fergie: Physically too
Coach John: oh f- exactly.
Coach Fergie: Yeah.
Coach John: And there’s nothing you can do about it. So your body doesn’t know any different. So if I go through the experience the first time, I get this incredible shot of adrenaline and cortisol and all this stuff. Every time I tell that story I get through a similar another shot of adrenaline, cortisol.
So you start to work yourself into- … so you wonder why ulcers happen. If I give my n- self enough shots of adrenaline, cortisol, sooner or later I’m gonna get an ulcer or- You start tearing up your inside. … Something’s gonna happen to me. And the big awareness, the big awakening, the spiritual awakening, the mental awakening, whatever you wanna call it, is realizing, whoa, thoughts are things.
If I keep thinking this thought, I’m gonna be in trouble.
I need to replace it. I need to change it. So when he goes into that story and goes back into those same [00:24:00] emotions that he went through when it first happened- … yeah, and it’s gonna get harder to get out each time. I know he’s getting paid to tell that story and there’s a reason for it- Sure
but self, we have to take care of ourselves
Coach Fergie: first. So tell me here, I gotta s- I gotta give the talk, we need a session. Really- yes … and we re- do- that’s exactly how it goes with us. ‘Cause my goal a lot of times when I coach is to be fired.
Coach John: Listen, if I had to do- With a- … if I had to do last Saturday again, I would’ve been there at 5:00 to meet you and we would’ve had a session before that race.
Yeah. And we would’ve done the harmony and we would’ve done- I did the
Coach Fergie: harmony- … at 4:00 in the morning,
Coach John: we would’ve done it again. And we would’ve done some sort of G7 and we would’ve done something to really- So I tell a story. I was asked to do the shot put in college for my fraternity.
And I was like, “I can go do this and that.” And I threw the first shot put never really knowing how to do it, and it was the longest throw of the whole day.
And I got to my second chance, and I said, “Watch this. You think that was far? I’m gonna put this one out of the room.” Never came close to my first one.
Later on, I realized if I knew what I knew now, I would’ve been calming down [00:25:00] before that second throw, not amping myself up. I created so much tension I couldn’t throw the ball- … anymore.
Coach Fergie: Yeah.
Coach John: If I’d let that tension release and let my body work like it could, maybe I could’ve beat my first throw.
Coach Fergie: And yeah, ’cause you were going in there kinda like with house money.
Coach John: Yes.
Coach Fergie: You just didn’t know what you’re gonna do. Next thing they’re expecting it from you.
Coach John: I was expecting it from myself.
Coach Fergie: E- exactly. Yeah, you’re expecting it from yourself. And squad, this s- this talk just totally flew by.
I wanna thank you for tuning and listening to my story. Also hear how John really helps me out with that. And the one thing about today is I’m gonna say, give you a nice Van Wilder quote. “Don’t take life too seriously. We’re not making it out alive.” Just that’s what it is. I took it really serious on Saturday, and which is okay, but l- lesson learned, and gotta get outta here.
Thank you so much, John. Thank you so much, Brian Mudd, WJNO. Everybody go out, have a great weekend. The troops out there doing the deed, thank you so much. Absolutely love your [00:26:00] guts.
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