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Speech Transcript (very little editing so not exact)

Ryan, thank you so much for coming out. Please introduce yourself the time to shine today podcast versus squat. But first, what’s your favorite color? And why?

Unknown Speaker  3:00  

I think it’s burgundy.

Unknown Speaker  3:02  

Burgundy. Yeah, it was just out of man. Why burgundy? It’s obviously you’re handsome double color wheel.

Unknown Speaker  3:10  

Boy. Yeah, yeah. And you know my so Ryan means kingly in Irish. My star sign is Leo. So there’s there’s a lot of connection between me and feeling like a king and bargain day particularly velvet. Bargain day is for me very royal Royal Naval. Yeah, very royal and regal. So I love that color. It does complement my eyes. Okay, that also that also works as well. But for me, it’s just yeah, if you’ve got the material. Yeah, nice material, then yeah.

Unknown Speaker  3:45  

You said Ryan means king white.

Unknown Speaker  3:47  

kingly seemly

Unknown Speaker  3:49  

in Irish. Yep. Awesome. Dude, I never knew that something every day. It made me like you. And this is kind of like a selfish thing for me spa because I respect Brian a ton. And all of his links to social, you gotta check out his YouTube channel. Or if you’re into LinkedIn, I literally was just watching him live. Before he popped over to here. He just puts up just fantastic content, especially for your coaches like myself out there to really look into level up your business. And Ryan, let’s get to kind of the origins of your software. Obviously, we know you’re Scottish, you probably grew up there whatnot. But now you’re kind of living that traveling laptop lifestyle that I mentioned before. But can we just get to that oranges origins if you don’t mind?

Unknown Speaker  4:29  

Yeah. So the is that the origin of how I came to be in this position?

Unknown Speaker  4:34  

Yeah, we’ll just start with, you know, where things started popping up being in the service of others.

Unknown Speaker  4:40  

Exactly. Yeah. So it so there’s 2009 and I was living in London at that point. And I had started a new relationship. And I don’t know if I’m sure you understand your listeners will understand that when we go into a new relationship depending on where we’re at in our journey. Usually, you know, we start getting triggered You know, we start dealing with parts of ourselves that we couldn’t see before. And, and I got in this loop with my new girlfriend at that point. And we had this argument over and over and over again for four weekends in a row. And it was a clear kind of argument that she was wrong. And I was right. You know, she was she her behavior was was a bit strange. And the way I was dealing with it was to, to be blaming, and, and she kept saying the same thing over and over again, which was, Ryan, it has nothing to do with me. And I’m like, No, it’s your it’s definitely yours. Definitely. You’re sure. And on the fourth weekend, you know, walking through the streets of Bethnal Green in East London, were fighting about what happened the previous night. Same again, Ryan, it’s got nothing to do with me. And she must have said it like 1520 times by this point. And I thought to myself, hmm, she keeps saying has nothing to do with her. What if it’s got something to do with me? And I had never asked myself that question before. Because until that moment, I was right about everything. My point of view was the only point of view that existed. And here was I for the first time in my life asking a question that was turning the attention towards myself, and I nearly fainted. Because my life started flashing in front of me, all the relationships that I’d had the conflict, they’d maybe hide in my family, then I started to see all the things I tried to filter in my life and how the consistent factor in every situation was me. And in all the other situations, I was convinced it was them or it was just circumstances and all of that stuff. So here I was, seeing that whatever I thought to be true, was no longer I it didn’t stack up but wasn’t true. And it completely rocked me, not in a good way. And I said, Look, I need to go home. I’ll call you later, went into my apartment, went into my bedroom, up the stairs, jumped on the bed, and just sobbed like a baby. And I must have cried in total for four hours, as I was realizing more and more like my life. How much if you don’t mind me saying so. Bullshit. How much bullshit had been, you know, in my life, but I couldn’t see it now seeing it and it was devastating. Devastating. So the more I saw, the more I cried, the more I cried, the more I saw. And then two hours, you know, like halfway through this process, I started to feel lighter. And then I started to realize like, I should this is this is good.

Unknown Speaker  7:28  

Starting to feel like you know what I know referred to as transformation, because for the first time in my life I was seeing clearly. So then I went to bed, I literally fell straight asleep again, like a baby woke up the next day. And then I started contacting all my ex girlfriends. And I could see I said, Look, I’m sorry that this happens. I’m sorry that I blamed you for that. All of a sudden, everything was clear. I apologize for everything. I then contacted all my family and I started telling them, Hey, why don’t we tell each other we love each other? Why don’t we talk about what happened back then. I wrote a list of all the things that I did that I was I wasn’t proud of and I had to clean up my life. One of those things was the money that I stole from the church. I stole money from the church when I was a teenager. And I never forgot about it. And it was on my list. And I eventually went to Scotland and I lifted up a whole bunch of cash and I went to see the priest who was still there. It was you know, already old 15 years before and here you are like still rocking it but and I went into the confessional box and I said look, Father, can I come around the other side? Anyway, yeah, of course. And he pulled me a chair. And I said, Father, you remember long time ago, 15 years ago, there’s a little kid orange here. Freckles stole some money. And then he disappeared. Anyways. Yeah. Yeah, I remember, remember that boy. And I was like, Well, that was me. And I just want to let you know, I’m, I’m sorry. Like, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was just young and stupid. But I never forgot. And, you know, I wanted to come here today to tell you, I’m sorry. And I have all this money. It’s it’s more than I took and I hope that you can forgive me. And he looked me in the eyes and he grabbed my hand and he said, Ryan, we all make mistakes. And it’s what you do about it that counts. And I had a cry and you know, we had a moment that we shared. So my life was full of that for for years just completing the past getting a bit of myself back in time. And in the same process. I was like I’m not the only one going through this I’m not the only one that would want to or need to go through this and I started sharing, you know what I was going through with other people and that was that was a start you know, I knew exactly what my life was about in that moment in 2009 and then here we are fast forward Well, you know, like 1213 years

Unknown Speaker  9:43  

yeah, in how old are you Ryan if you don’t mind me asking 40 to 42 So we’re not too far off on 50 So you know I oh nine was my wake up call to a lot of things. I had a narcissistic way about myself not saying you are but I was very narcissistic in I was about I’ve everybody and I was always right. And then it took the market crashing me not listening to my advisors before and kind of lost everything. So we you guys kind of like brothers from different mothers man in oh nine seems like that year because that was probably the worst year up until kind of now where, you know, economy in what it was. So no, I appreciate you saying that I’m hearing a lot out of what you just said is responsibility. Right? Taking responsibly let me ask you something, what is your definition of responsibility?

Unknown Speaker  10:31  

Yeah. So there was there was actually four things that happened that day, and it took me a while to name them. So if I can see them first, then I’ll come back to you. I was done being a victim, yes, started getting responsible, I was done pretending I was done with that started getting authentic. I was done looking at myself in the mirror and not liking what I saw. So I wanted to get integrity back. And then I wanted my life to be a lot more about, you know, than just making money or being, you know, conventionally successful, I no longer needed that I wanted to have my life be a contribution. So that was the four things that happened to me that day. So you’re asking what is responsibility mean to me? Or what’s my definition? My definition of responsibility? I think it was said in one of the great books that was written, it’s the ability to respond. Thank you. So

Unknown Speaker  11:20  

very, hey, that’s exactly what I say exactly what I say. Yeah. And I heard it across the board with what you were saying you put that response in made it right. That’s just fantastic. Brian, thank you. So So do you work with coaches one on one? Or do you work with coaches more in group sessions?

Unknown Speaker  11:43  

Yeah, so funnily enough, I started working with one on one coaches five or six weeks ago, for the first time in five years. You know, because I, you know, we been very busy and focused on building HPC. And it was great, and, you know, group programs, and really scaling the business and making a huge impact. And I had already done so much one to one for years before that. And then literally, you know, I was getting asked all the time, and I’m like, Yeah, I’m not ready. I’m not open to that. And then yeah, five, six weeks ago, sitting in meditation, and it was like, Okay, what’s next? And it was like, Yeah, time to just go back and have those one to one experiences. And no, I, you know, if people come and visit me in Madeira for the weekend, we go on a very deep journey, I work with them on Zoom. So I just thought, right, how would I look? If I’m going to do one to one? What would it look like in such a way that I would really love that? And just created my own way of engaging with people. So having people come and visit me? If that’s something that they want to do? A really great thing, beautiful experience. So yes, yes, very

Unknown Speaker  12:46  

good. So when you’re starting to maybe work with a coach and maybe in the discovery period, to get them to help them level their business up is? Is there any secret sauce, you can share a little bit about how to help them find their blind spot?

Unknown Speaker  13:03  

Help them find their blind spot.

Unknown Speaker  13:07  

When it comes to you, I mean, I have a coach as well, that helps me with my coaching. Oh, yeah, she helped me reveal my blind spots quite a bit. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  13:14  

Yeah. I mean, do you use? Yeah, I mean, the whole coaching process is about that, you know, that’s the we can’t see ourselves, right. It’s why coaching exists to help us see ourselves clearly, it’s easy to see what’s going on and other people, we just, we just don’t have that ability, yet to do that for ourselves until we develop more awareness. So so the whole process of coaching is actually helping them to see themselves in a way that they can’t, right now. There’s various methods and tools, whether it’s just questioning to help them turn their attention inwards, because again, the main the main, there’s looking in one direction as the eyes are looking at. So it’s very distracting for people. So it’s about asking questions that help turn their attention to themselves. So there’s, there’s one way, another powerful way that I help people see their blind spots, and this is probably one of my favorites, is reflecting. Right. So reflecting is like, let me let me just say back what I heard you say? Yes. Right. Because very often they’ll say something that’s like, well, they really can’t see it. But it’s right there. Right. So I’ll either let me just play back what I heard you say, and I’ll actually play it back word for word, no, go. Okay, what opens up because then they can see me saying it and it’s obvious, but it wasn’t obvious when they’re seeing and they’re like, Oh, I sound like a victim. Exactly. Alright, so there’s another way I like to reflect which is even more fun. And then I’ll give you an example of a client a few weeks ago, and she was telling me that she, you know, had a great call with somebody offered her high fee. Then the client said they wanted to work with her but because of what was going on in Ukraine, they had actually invited a family over to stay with them. And so she needed time to think about it and my client just didn’t know where to go, you know, had no idea Where’d it go? So right away she goes, I completely understand. Thanks so much. No, maybe I’ll send you an email in a few weeks rent. Okay, great. Okay, thanks. So she comes to me. And she’s like, I just didn’t know what to do you know where to go. When somebody says, I’m listening, I go, Look, can I just reflect something back to you? She goes, Yes. And I said, you’re really reasonable, aren’t you? And she went, Yeah, I’m reasonable everywhere. And I went, Yeah. And that’s what you need to get, you know, for you to just accept that and that way without any questioning or being you know, anything like that is because it’s your, it’s over here with you, you’re, you’re just too reasonable. So you got to look at where in your life, you’re being reasonable with your partner, your business, your kids, your clients, and go and start cleaning up, go and start getting authentic about that, and actually seeing what you want to see. And she had a major breakthrough right there in the

Unknown Speaker  15:55  

love that love that maybe if you’re still in the discovery period, Ryan is with them and making sure you’re the right horse for their course to help them guide them into their coaching journey. Is there any good question that you wish they would ask you, but never do?

Unknown Speaker  16:13  

That’s a great question. And when you ask that, do you mean in service of them? Or which I’m sure

Unknown Speaker  16:23  

you? I mean, if you were if I was hiring you, I would be kind of like, what do you see in me, that makes me a great candidate to level up my coaching business. Yeah. You know, I mean, that’s, that’s what I would ask. But I’m also experienced, like, yeah, other coaches, you know, is there anything else that you wish maybe they would ask you? Because you’re doing a lot of the questions, you know, well, yeah. You know, that you ever wished? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  16:43  

Do I ever let me just check that. Is there a question that I’d like them to ask me? I think I think there’s a I had this once where I was coaching my see my co founder and HPC. Any he asked me to give me two he asked me to give him everything I had. And, and because I told him that when I was working with my coaches, I said to them, give me everything. changed everything. And that was why will you give me everything you

Unknown Speaker  17:24  

go, you give me everything. Do that me name? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  17:27  

So he came to me one day, and he went, look, I see that these limitations are popping up. And he’s like, will you give me everything you got and stop holding back? Because you said you’re holding back because I wasn’t ready. And I didn’t ask and I are you sure? Wow. So I would love that client to come up. And I mean, I give them everything anyway, but right, we can start on that and we’re both up for leveling, then yeah.

Unknown Speaker  17:51  

Everybody needs to hold their coaches. Responsible. That’s awesome, dude. So have you seen the movie Back to the Future? Yes. Okay, let’s get that DeLorean with Marty McFly. Let’s go back to the double Deuce the 22 year old Ryan what kind of knowledge nuggets might you drop on him? That’s too much to change anything because your journey is pretty good jazz Right? Like what kind of knowledge nuggets would you drop on him to maybe shorten his learning curve a little bit maybe level up just a little bit faster in life?

Unknown Speaker  18:20  

Yeah, I mean, trust in the process. So you’re exactly where you need to be the patient there is no rush.

Unknown Speaker  18:35  

Wow, that’s strong. And also when you’re stuck it you’re asking your right ask for it

Unknown Speaker  18:41  

like that. Yeah, well, I was always good at that. By the way I was always the first of my hand up so he would and then yeah, like always you believe that it can be done and you can do it can be done and you can do it

Unknown Speaker  18:59  

right right if you can believe you can conceive it right. Oh, Napoleon Hill say that I love that so right how do you want your dash remember that little line in between your incarnation date your expiration date your life date your death date on your tombstone? Hopefully it’s long way down the road. But how do you want Ryan stash remembers

Unknown Speaker  19:23  

Ryan really enjoyed his life.

Unknown Speaker  19:28  

You are you’re not just like a poser. You know, impostor. You’re gonna join it. So that yeah, that leads me to the next question. I’ve heard you say countless times. But I want to get your insight here on time to shine today on this but the future of humanity is consciousness. You said that quite a few times. Can you unpack that a little bit for the listeners and what you mean by that again, squad that’s the future of humanity is consciousness.

Unknown Speaker  19:55  

Yeah, I mean, the past has largely been unconsciousness, you know, and it The President has, you know, there’s some sense of balance starting to be experienced, but we’re very much an unconscious race. Currently, there’s people like us, the people that your listeners that we are evolving, pushing the boundaries, you know, getting out of our minds into our heart touching our souls waking up to who we really are, which is not just our thinking mind. And this seemed revolutionary not that long ago, like, people like Eckhart Tolle row has books. So. So the future is, yeah, it’s this sense of presence, this understanding of ourselves as consciousness, and a lot more, you know, once we get to that point. But for me, it’s like, there was a great meditation I heard lately, it was called vapor, right? Brilliant meditation. And it’s basically how everything’s vapor, which means life is pretty meaningless. It’s not a big deal, just, you know, get on with it, and write, and he says, you know, if you took the whole human history, if you took the history of the world, and you imagine that your wingspan represented the history of the world, and you take a Neil fail, and you clip the edge of your nail, you would have just wiped out the entire human history. Right, so I put that in, he’s tried to in context, like, we’ve just started, you know, in my interpretation of that is that as a human race, we are literally just babies. And we, you know, we’re wondering, you know, in putting all this pressure on ourselves to get it, right, we’re too young to get any better than we’re getting, it looks like we’ve been here for years, but we’ve only been here for a tiny clip of it in the grand scheme of things, right? You know, babies, you know, they’ve got a lot to learn, they gotta wake up, they’re gonna grow up, they gotta learn how to be independent, they gotta get their heads and teenagers go through their teenager phase. So wherever we’re at and explain babies, teenagers, but we’re still young. But as we grow, and as we mature, we’re going to wake up like you’ve woke up like I woke up, like the squad has woken up, this is the future, it’s inevitable. And whether it takes 100 years or 500 years doesn’t matter, as long as we don’t get hit by a meteor or force. Sure, or somebody does something really stupid, which is how life could go anywhere for any of us. But for me, for me, but you know, we’re still young, we’ve got a lot to learn, but it’s only headed in one direction.

Unknown Speaker  22:18  

I love I love that you say that I hear a lot of like staying present and stuff and in growing through any kind of turmoil or any obstacles. I mean, because Ryan, you probably will agree with me, like a lot of people have a foot in the past a foot in the future, and they piss over the president. Right? So it’s like, just doing that. I love love, love that you said that. So, Ryan, what is your definition of a life well lived?

Unknown Speaker  22:41  

Yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s, as it says on my tombstone, it is really simple. And this is what took me for it two years, probably to really, really get, you know, after I’d walked through whatever I had to walk through, it’s just enjoy it. Enjoy it, make the most of it. And that isn’t easy for so many of us because of what happened because of what he did it because of what happened there in this situation. But every situation can be used for evolution or growth. If you’re willing to do that, you know, that’s what alchemy is. So what are into Wayne, that’s the metal into gold. It’s the it’s the I got made redundant into I built my own six figure empire, whatever it may be. It’s like what you went through in 2009. That’s the beauty of life, no matter what is coming our way we can use it to our advantage and then learn how to make the most of it and enjoy it. So that’s what it’s about for me.

Unknown Speaker  23:30  

Nothing else really needs to be said after that. With that with regards that’s beautiful. Time to shine today podcast versus five, we’re back with the coaches coach, my good friend, Ryan mathy. And right one of these days, I’m gonna have to make that little road trip over and hang out with you for a minute and you know, we can bounce some stuff off each other. And I know I’ll come back learning a ton. We’ve probably talked about an hour on each one of these questions. I’m going to ask you but you have lightning round You have five seconds with no explanation. So you’re ready to level up. I’m ready. Let’s do this. What is the best lovely knock advice Ryan’s ever received?

Unknown Speaker  24:06  

Never give up. Love it.

Unknown Speaker  24:08  

Share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success.

Unknown Speaker  24:11  

contemplation, otherwise known as meditation.

Unknown Speaker  24:14  

I love maths. So if you see me kind of walking down the street or whatnot, and Fergie looks like he’s in his doldrums. Like what book might you hand me? The power of now. There you go. Love that love. When you text What’s your most commonly used emoji?

Unknown Speaker  24:31  

It’s the one where it’s smiling and the eyes are closed with two triangles like

Unknown Speaker  24:36  

love it. I love in spite of your watching he nailed it. I love it. So right nicknames growing up.

Unknown Speaker  24:45  

Ryo rial

Unknown Speaker  24:47  

okay very cool.

Unknown Speaker  24:48  

Nothing too fancy but yet right. Love it. So that’s that’s mathy the everybody called me mathy but it was mafi with an F rather than th that was this language. So there we go. Yeah, see that again? I’m Matthew.

Unknown Speaker  25:01  

Matthew You love it loving loving. So chess checkers or monopoly chess? Love it. Go to my go to ice cream flavor.

Unknown Speaker  25:13  

Anything with caramel in it?

Unknown Speaker  25:15  

I do, we’re hanging out for real. There’s a there’s a sandwich called the Mafi. What’s on that sandwich?

Unknown Speaker  25:22  

It’s like the best organic plant based shizzle dizzle. But with a really amazing homemade spicy sauce.

Unknown Speaker  25:30  

Beautiful. So you have access to a time machine for one day you can’t change anything. All you can do is observe when you go 20 years forward, or 20 years back, forward, forward. Love it. Love it. Love it. Is there any favorite charity and organization like to give your time or money to?

Unknown Speaker  25:48  

Yes, we work with B one G one. We have adult kids we worked with be one G one buy one get one. When we sell something, give something and we have a project in India where we were we were we support children in India so they have the access to Ilana we’ve we’ve donated nearly half a million days to that to that cause

Unknown Speaker  26:13  

love it and love it in value. Reach out to him and get that that link for that. Okay, thanks. Last question. You can elaborate on this one. But what’s the best decade of music 6070s 80s or 90s? It’s got to be at ease with that All right, yeah, I mean a decade of decades, right. Big hair care, kind of wrapped with Run DMC and Boy Yeah, glam rock, metal rock, you know, everything was in there and had one where do whatever the other guy’s name is? Future that’s awesome. So right how can we find you my friend?

Unknown Speaker  26:56  

High performing dot coach, so WWW dot high performing dot coach all over YouTube, LinkedIn and no, you know, taking on Instagram. As we’ve been asked to do more and more. And then good old fashioned Google. You’ll see lots of articles and interviews that that’s happened. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  27:14  

yeah, it’s chock full of just awesome squad you’ve got to visit and it’ll be in the show notes below. And Ryan, give me one last salad and leave me with last one less Knowledge Nugget we can take with us internalize it they got action.

Unknown Speaker  27:30  

Forgive your parents. heal your heart, no matter the cost. And open yourself up to the possibility of falling in love and living happily ever after.

Unknown Speaker  27:44  

Wow, it was that first one. Forgive your Gambia

Unknown Speaker  27:48  

parents for you. Forgive your parents, your mom your dad, forgive your brothers, your sisters your sons your daughters forgive then he’ll love you got the chance.

Unknown Speaker  28:01  

Love it. And squad we just had a really emotional heart touch felt and masterclass with my good friend Ryan, which means kingly and Irish. You know, he was triggered, seeing things he couldn’t see before. He’s kind of caught in a loop, you know, the recognize through help of, of somebody and himself in his pillow that he’s crying out that he noticed that consistent factor was him so he took responsibility. Again, it’s the ability to respond. That’s what Ryan did. He got done being a victim done pretending, done not liking himself, he wanted more than just monetary gain. He wanted to contribute and help others level up. You know, when he writes us a coaching exists to help see themselves clearly with more yourself clearly with more awareness, you know, through reflection and get them to see inwards. That’s what a good coach will do. That’s what Ryan does. You know, he wants you to remember to trust the process and the protocol of whatever you’re going through, you’re exactly where you need to be. So be patient. And if you feel stuck, like my good friend Leah Woodford would say get your asking gear, ask for questions. You know, he’s somebody that I believe is planting trees, he’s never going to sit in the shade of you know, because he’s giving, giving, giving and moving forward and realizing that every single situation that he goes through in life and that we’re going through in life, there’s an experience of growth there if you’re really looking forward to if you’re present, and looking for you. Lastly, he reminds us to forgive the peeps in our life, including that dude in the mirror or do that if you’re female listening in the mirror forgive that person heal your heart and open yourself to the possibility of not only falling in love with others but falling in love with every thing in Ryan, you level up your health you level up your wealth, you’re humble yet you’re hungry. You’re a world traveler I’m living by Kate although I live in paradise. I’m living vicariously through you on your travels and I can’t wait to do some collaboration of some sort in the future man I love your guts so much.

Unknown Speaker  29:56  

Science sounds great. And now I know why your show so damn pop Killer. Thanks, man.

Unknown Speaker  30:01  

I’ll chat with you soon Ryan. Love it. Thank you. Hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast, proudly brought to you by Southern New Jersey real estate real estate excellence who can be reached at 561-249-7266 and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com/guest If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcasts. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see a recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like where you’ve been listening to it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends how to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up it’s our time to shine

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