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Speech Transcript

Hey, this is Melissa or Jacobson with confident life and performance coaching. And if you really want to learn how to level up your life you should be listening to the time to shine today podcast with my friend, Scott Ferguson.

Hey, time to shine today varsity squad at Scott Ferguson and I am super privileged to bring you a conversation with my friend and fellow coach, Melissa Bower Jacobson and again, it’s Melissa bore Jacobson and I butchered her name at the beginning of the interview in color Johnson. So Melissa, I apologize profusely for that and I’m very sorry, but squad you’re in for a real treat. Melissa is going to drop a bunch of knowledge nuggets on you to help you level up your life with regards to confidence. She’s going to teach you different mindsets to always when you feel you’re going to fail to fail forward, to lose the doubt lose the fear and if you lead they will follow. So without further ado, here’s an awesome conversation with my friend and fellow coach Melissa Bauer Jacobsen.

Hey, time to shine squad Scott Ferguson and thank you so much for joining me with this masterclass mind blowing podcast episode here I have Melissa board Johnson she is a confident life and performance coach and full disclosure she’s a neighbor of mine here in sunny Jupiter, Florida. Of course here it’s a it’s our version of paradise. It’s unseasonally hot but I we have nothing to complain about, especially when I come from the north and it’s, you know, it’s cold as all heck up there. So, but real quick about Melissa. Melissa has coached thousands of people including TED Talk presenters, executives, attorneys, entrepreneurs, students and physicians to speak present with confidence. As a confident life coach Melissa coaches individuals and groups of all ages to overcome sub subconscious issues, reclaim unshakable self esteem and confidence and achieve success in life, business and relationships. I cannot wait to dig in with this interview with Melissa. So Melissa, welcome to our squad and if you could please share with us your favorite color and why

oh my gosh, that was unexpected. Okay, so first of all quick correction is Jacob son just want to make sure people can find me I

apologize for that squad. It’s Jacob son. There we go. Okay, what’s your favorite color Melissa?

Color is it’s always red,

red and why?

Wow, I guess it’s the power color. Okay, get on me too. So

now he’s full the confidence of confidence coach always confident. I love it. I love it. So let’s tell us our our squad our story on your evolution up through becoming a confidence life coach. Please.

Oh, interesting question. Okay, so I started my career I’m I come from the performing arts world. And you might think that that is where I get my confidence and self esteem, but it is not true. And that’s something that I’ve worked on for a long time. And it’s something that a lot of performers and people do not have. And we can act like we do, but we don’t necessarily have that deep inner self esteem that we need to have. But my journey started in the performing arts world. I did pretty much everything in that arena. I was I started off, believe it or not Scott as an opera singer. Wow. Yeah. That’s kind of crazy. That’s evolved into being a musical theater performer, which evolved into being a theatrical producer, which there was many hats to wear in that endeavor. That gave me a lot of expertise in a lot of different areas, including marketing, public relations. Of course speaking, you know, doing a lot of media interviews and things like that. And also probably started me on my entrepreneurial, accidental entrepreneurial journey because I was an artist, I had no intention of being a business person I didn’t know about business, I didn’t think about business, I didn’t think about money. I was that starving artist mindset. And my husband had this idea, and I jumped in to help him. And that’s really where my entrepreneurial journey started running a nonprofit theater company, and then also running a program for kids. So it was a great experience taught me a lot, a lot of huge success, and some huge failures as well. Gotta have both

of those as long as we fail forward. That’s all we always talk about squat. As long as you’re failing forward, and taking those risks. You’re always going in. That’s what we love to do. So I’m hearing your aha moment with you being a starving artist. You have that mindset, you have your awesome hubby. That is that aha moment that kind of pulled you out and said, Listen, I think that there’s more that I can offer.

I think

that, you know, necessity is the inventor, inventor of creativity or whatever that thing is, maybe I, I just repurpose that for my own my own way. But so, Necessity is the mother of invention. That’s what I was thinking, Okay,

I’m writing that down because it’s gonna go on the show notes people. Right.

And you know, when you have a failure, a failure is an opportunity forces you especially a really big failure, like a survival failure is an awesome opportunity. Right? Because Boy, that adrenaline kicks in and you are motivated. You don’t have time for self doubt. You don’t have time for second guessing. You just have to move forward. And I think that is probably was my unintentional aha moment. When actually had a business failure, and yeah, it happens people

what’s, what business was that if you don’t mind sharing with the squad,

that was the theater,

the theater, okay, and why do you Why do you sounds like it? What Why did it fail? Money? Okay, fair enough.

Yeah, so it was a $50,000 gap that caused the demise of that knowledgeable but, um, out of that, you know, the Phoenix rose and I became a six figure coach, because I had to, you know, I had been working for myself or working, you know, with my husband, running this business, finding out so many things about myself I didn’t know I could do and that’s kind of my that’s why I was able to do something very difficult like run a theatre company and run a children’s theatre program. Having never done that before. I did it very well, not knowing what I was doing, because I do have a philosophy that you just do it anyway. Sure,

don’t know what you’re doing. You just do it anyway. And you’ll figure it out.

So, with this a plethora of experience that you have, what do you think makes a great coach?

Wow. That’s a great

question. And I think what makes a great coach is, first of all, somebody that cares more about their clients than they do about their own pocket. That’s really important. Somebody that cares. It’s got to be the client. That’s first. Definitely a great coach is somebody who is very creative and knows how to think on their feet and knows how to customize the coaching to what’s happening in the moment with that client. Okay. A great coach is somebody who advises a great coach to Don’t tell somebody what to do. This is kind of a little bit of a pet peeve of mine, because I’ve encountered some colleagues and, you know, along the way, and I’ve had some clients who come in and like, well, this coach said, I had to, like, wait a minute. No, it’s not how it works.

Sounds like they’re trying to cookie cut them instead of really getting on their vibe and their wavelength to help them level up their life. Does that sound about right?

Correct. And a good coach asked a lot of questions and gives their take and their advice and their theory. And sometimes even I will get pretty strong.

No way.

One of our job coaches is to hold people accountable or hire to do so. So yes, I will hold you if like if you commit to something, I’m going to hold you very accountable for that. And I have a client right now. It’s kind of trying to avoid me, I think okay.

Listening better get back with Melissa.

Oh, I just messaged him and I’m like, do you really want to move backward? You know, I you can run but you cannot hide. You’re accountable to me. I love that.

I love most of that you hold your clients accountable. How do they find you? Because I was down here. I know you’re kind of a big name when it comes to the art schools and stuff like that, but is it mostly word of mouth right now that people are finding you, Melissa?

So it’s a great question too. So Google is really my right, you go, Hey, um, I, you know, I’ve never really done any major SEO work, okay. But I tend to show up when people are looking for confidence speaking or to deal with, you know, getting over speaking fear or I just, I had a client walk in here last week, very high level executive with his own Corporation and he’s an author and a speaker and You just I’m like, how did you find me? He’s like Google, really? Okay. So I mean, obviously, I have a website. And I do do a lot of, you know, social media. I’m on social media a lot that I tend to get very busy with clients survey. And then I kind of fall behind on video a month. So it’s, I’m having a little bit of a break now. So I’m looking forward to getting some really great content back out there. But I do have some free content out there, especially for people that for example, I work with people on competence and self esteem, but one of the major areas that people who are in their own business or want to shine in life are, we can’t avoid presenting. We have to work presenting I even if we’re not doing it, I’m saying you have to do a keynote speech, but I do work with people on keynote speeches and tech talks, but just in your life. You know, if you want to generate more business, you have to go to networking meetings and stand up and talk about your business, sales presentations, getting on the phone with people standing up to your boss and asking for a raise, having a conversation at a party. These are all things that you become really, really confident and good at, and masterful at when you master your presentation skills and your confidence, the confident presentation skills. So there’s a mindset and mechanics piece that evolved and it just up leveled your life. When you have the confidence to express yourself with self esteem and confidence your whole life gets up levels.

Right? Yeah, I 100% agree that I’m writing all this stuff down. I’m trying to write it, especially talking to the knowledge nuggets that you’re dropping on. Our squad is amazing. Wow. So you’ve got a ton of experience. in theater and now, building a business, if you were to look back, and you were to meet the 20 year old Melissa, would you tell her?

Oh gosh, I tell her she’s beautiful. And stop. second guessing and to stop. And to do what I tell all my clients now, which is, whatever, whatever state you’re in whatever stage you’re at in your life, whatever you look like wherever you’re at financially, if you own it, they will buy it right from from that place.

I love that. Own it, they will

buy it doesn’t matter if you’re overweight. If you own it, and you feel great about yourself, everybody else is going to buy into that. Sure you um, you know, you’re shy around other people, you know, you’re single If you own it, they

will buy it. So be bold squad, be bold and even ask the bold questions of people that you want information from. And then just own your self and be happy with you. I absolutely love that. Tell me Have you ever fumbled your lines on on stage? Absolutely.

Yeah. Right. And in fact, I still do a lot of performing. As a singer, I get contracted out to do like condo shows and things like that. And oh, yeah, like I do a show on one person show. And there’s a lot of songs and yeah, script lyrics. But you know, what,

what do you do? What do you do?

Well, here’s the thing. It depends on the situation. But one thing you do is you own it. Because the truth is, I’m what’s known as a warm and fuzzy performer people relate to me Like me because because I do make mistakes and people who are perfect are not relatable. So if you make a mistake, whether it’s on stage or in life or in a presentation doesn’t matter, if you own it and you just keep moving forward, just keep moving forward. Nine times out of 10 people don’t know that you made a mistake for one second, if you do make a mistake, a mistake and you own it, like oh, haha, that was hilarious. Wow, me and my Swiss cheese brain. Haha, just move on. So we’ll make mistakes totally fine.

As you’re progressing in building your life confidence business here. Life confident coach performance coaching. What’s the big thing that you want to accomplish in lewis’s life

in my life?

I want to the big thing that I’m on right now is I want to transform as many young people as I can at once as fast as I can not at once but as fast as I can I’m, I’m working on a huge program right now. Because I believe we have a crisis, a connection and a self esteem crisis going on with our young people right now. And so I’m working on a program to address that in in groups going into speaking to schools. Teacher, I have a program that is for students. It’s called the student self esteem seminar, with a program for teachers teaching them how to use the power of the mind to have to teach better learn better and to have better behavioral outcomes in the classroom. And I’m also I have a workshop for parents on do’s and don’ts of raising a child with real self esteem.

That’s my big mission right now.

That is fantastic. That’s been a total go giver. That’s amazing. That is amazing. So Coming tell our squad something Melissa What is your definition of a life well lived

is a phenomenal question. Well I think a life well lived I’d have to follow the my father’s example. And who died at 93 and a half, had a massive heart attack in his 50s but went on to continue to generously help people he actually he actually wrote an ethical will and talked about I think it says that you’re you always treat everyone with dignity. No matter what station they are in life. You treat everyone equally you treat everyone with dignity, you’re honest. Okay? Who,

you

you’re generous with giving to people, giving of yourself to people but you also protect yourself.

I love it. And also be open to receptivity as well. Right?

Absolutely. And my father, who like me know many people, as he got into his 90s suffered from what’s called vascular dementia, but he still maintained a positive attitude. And the CEO he ended up in a nursing home a very nice nursing home by the way, in Seattle, and the CEO of that nursing home when he was feeling down would come to see my dad.

Love that for life. Well live. That’s a life well lived. Absolutely. Gotcha. So let’s remove your cell phone.

What are three things that Melissa can’t live without?

Oh, chocolate,

um, my children

and third lipstick and I

love those. They’re real. That’s That’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. All right, we’re gonna move into what we call our level up lightning round. There’s five or six questions. You and I could talk for 20 minutes on each one of them and I’m gonna give you a five to 10 seconds max to give me an answer. All right. Are you ready? Ready? All righty. What’s the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received?

Best leveling up advice I’ve ever received is exactly what my you know my the Melissa ism I shared before. Love it to own it. If you own it, if you leave, they will follow. Awesome. thoughtfully.

share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success.

personal habits and

my personal habits is always listening.

Love it in other than your own website, and of course time to shine today. Calm that’s my shameless plug. recommend us to an internet resource. They can help people level up their life.

Other than my website Okay, so you and I talked about this one of the people that I fell in love with and you and I connected on was Pat Flynn.

Okay. Love Smart Passive income. recommend to us a book

that you is your go to book.

Hmm, my go to book. Oh,

well I really like Brendon Burchard There you go.

All right. A book called

manifestation Manifesto, I think. Yes,

yes, exactly.

Yeah. That’s a really good go to book. Love it. I love how he talks about create more time.

Yeah, he’s great.

What’s your favorite charity organization that you love to support?

Well, right now I’m really supporting the Suicide Prevention Foundation. Love it.

And last question

What is the best decade music 60s 70s 80s or 90s?

Oh

mmm

hmm 60s 70s 80s or 90s

I think it’s a 70s

love it. I’m right there with you. Ah, love that. Okay, so before we tie things up into an end here, leave the time to shine squad. A little knowledge nuggets you definitely want them to take with with them from our interview.

I think I’m going to go back to if you lead they will follow. You’ve got to lose the self doubt lose the fear. Anybody in business deals with fear and fear. Our biggest enemy is not money. It’s not time it’s fear is a way to To overcome and not only is there a way to overcome that, you have to, if you want to level up and you really want to have the kind of success that you aspire to, you can’t do it with the fear in place, you’ve got to lose that.

I love that. Okay, so Melissa, how can we find you? And also Do you have any events or products that you want to tell the time to shine squat about?

Sure. You can find me on my website, or on Facebook, or LinkedIn. My name is my website. So it’s Melissa board, Jacobson, calm. And e li SS a AVHER. Jc ob s o n.com. I do have a program to starting actually and it’s really a great prize. It’s a six week confidence speaking workshop. It’s called presentation skills mastery and starts actually Next Monday at 730 to nine and it is amazing, huge chock full of value. Very good price, it’s under $400. For six weeks, you can do

it online.

You can do it online or in person if you’re in Jupiter or nearby and you want to come and do it in person, you can do it in person or online. And for a good price, not that that matters. But I mean, hey,

there’s value that’s that’s fantastic. All right, and time to shine squad. We always are saying that surrounding yourself with top vibing peeps, who are humble, yet hungry, who level up their health, in level up their wealth, all with a premise of serving people. And Melissa, you’re the epitome of that. Thank you so much for spending 1520 minutes of your valuable time with our squad and I’m humbled and honored to have you as part of our squad. You’re stuck with us now.

Oh, great.

Awesome. Well here give us fist pump right In the screen.

Thanks so much, Melissa. Have a great day. Hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast proudly brought to you by southern New Jersey real estate real estate excellence who can be reached at 561-249-7266 and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com slash guest. If you like this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcast. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see a recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you’ve been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host, Scott Ferguson. And then Till next time, let’s level up it’s our time to shine.

Music Courtesy of: fight by urmymuse (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/urmymuse/58696 Ft: Stefan Kartenberg, Kara Square

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