You are the only person you will have a conversation with every day of your life. And here’s the million-dollar question: are those conversations building you up or beating you down? See, I- I’m blessed to coach some incredibly successful people, business [00:01:00] owners, executives, elite athletes, and something I’ve learned is that the most dangerous opponent they face isn’t always across the boardroom table, or standing across from them in the athletic arena.

Sometimes that opponent’s standing right back at them in the mirror. I was working with a young athlete, a prodigy wrestler. This kid is an absolute stud. And was recently working with him, who made one mistake during the competition. One mistake. And for the next several minutes, he mentally punished himself for it.

Afterwards, we re- viewed the tape and whatnot. I was just like, “Trey, if your coach spoke to you the way you’re speaking to yourself right now, would you even want to play for him?” And he got quiet- Think about that, squad. We demand encouragement from others while giving ourselves permission to be our own worst enemy.

Here’s the nugget. Your mind is always listening even when nobody else is, and there’s a difference between holding yourself accountable and holding yourself hostage. Accountability says, “That wasn’t my best effort. Let’s correct it.” Self-destruction says, “I’ll never get this right.” One creates a path forward, the other builds a prison.

So here’s my challenge for you this week. Catch yourself in the middle [00:02:00] of one negative conversation in your head. Don’t ignore it. Don’t pretend it isn’t happening. Interrupt it. Challenge it. Replace it with something you can act on. Because squad, you wouldn’t let someone constantly disrespect you, especially you or the people you love, so why are you allowing that voice inside your head to disrespect you?

Become the kind of coach to yourself that you’d want standing in your corner when life gets tough. And r- remember, we don’t want to have anyone to feel like they have no one. And squad, this is another… This is Coach’s Corner four that I have in here with someone that, again, I always say I mentally respect him.

He carves time for me every Tuesday. We’re on the dock doing the harmony exercise, and we go to a, a trail and do one lap around the trail with the G7 exercise. But I got my man, John Denny, back in studio here. Performance coach for top golfers, teams, and Olympians. One of the paddleboard, stand-up paddleboard pioneers, making the first SUP instruction video to pass one million views.

He has worked with many PGA and LPGA golfers, including the awesome Lexi Thompson, and also [00:03:00] yours truly. He’s been working with me for the last five months, and the trajectory I am on is absolutely insane. And one thing within the harmony exercise is the two words, “I am,” and that’s what we’re here to talk about.

John, thank you so much for coming back, brother. I’m blessed to have you here. I know I get to see you every week, but have you in studio and all dappered up today, too. 

Coach John Denney: Ah, want to look good for your- … knowledge nuggets. 

Coach Fergie: Yeah, but having you in here. So I am. Talk to me about I am, the two words. ‘Cause I’m a believer that what, after comes am chases you, right?

Well- But what do you think? 

Coach John Denney: I’ve been thinking about this. You said this is gonna be the topic a- and I really look at this I am statement really on, on three different levels. ‘Cause it really builds us up physically. It is how we create our ego, our persona, is all with this I am statement. And then at the final level, it’s how we connect with God.

Yes. It’s how we create our reality. But even at the foundational level, what do we tell our kids? Don’t call yourself stupid. Don’t call yourself dumb. And- [00:04:00] What we’re doing really is teaching them the foundational metaphysics of advanced metaphysics is don’t misuse that I am statement. 

Coach Fergie: Love it. 

Coach John Denney: And we’ll talk about that a little deeper in a minute, but- 

Coach Fergie: Yeah.

And you even said, and I learned this from you, but I went back and I looked, and when Moses was on Mount Sinai with God, right? And God’s “I’m gonna go down and talk to the Israelites or whatnot.” And Moses is “Who should I tell them is coming?” He’s like, “I am.” 

So we can sit there, they say, “Don’t use God’s name in vain,” and and Jesus’ name in vain.

I get that, which I’m very good at not. I’ll say a lot of cheese and rice and- … other ways to get my point across. But when you say, “I am dumb,” or, “I am stupid,” that’s almost like saying God is in a sense. 

Coach John Denney: It’s not- 

Coach Fergie: You know what I mean? It’s a weird way to look at it. But please-

Coach John Denney: It’s not a weird way

Coach Fergie: I’m gonna hand it to you on this one, brother … 

Coach John Denney: it I think it is the most direct way to look at it. There’s no beating around the bush at all there. And because those are your great creative words. A- and when you start to use them, that becomes your belief system. And it doesn’t take long. You sit down with someone, and I said this a few weeks ago, but if you ask a [00:05:00] group of people how they’re doing, all of them are gonna think I am, I have, I did.

They’re all gonna start with that. That we all call ourselves by this name. 

Now, you brought up the Moses thing. He asked, “What, what should I tell them your name is?” “Tell them my name is I Am. I Am has sent me to you. And tell them that my name, that their name for me is I Am.”

Now, when you really think about this, and you start to use that great creative principle consciously, your creation with your I am is this man, Scott Ferguson, I’m sitting with.

My creation is John Denny. Brian’s creation is Brian. However, we are all using this exact same identity, this exact same force, which is the exact same thing that connects us together.

‘

Coach John Denney: Cause only when I am can we be we are. Wow. When you and I- 

Coach Fergie: Do you hear that, Scott? W- say that again one more time, please. 

Coach John Denney: It’s only when we’re really in touch with our I ams that we can actually become we are. Wow. Two people coming together. That’s 

Show Sponsor – Rize Mortgage: strong, man. 

Coach John Denney: Now, the mastermind, when two [00:06:00] of us, when we do the harmony in the morning, and you and I are both thinking, “I am perfect health.

I am perfect harmony,” we are both thinking that same thought at the same time. 

Napoleon Hill calls this the mastermind principle. Yes. Two people coming together- Yes … in a spirit of perfect harmony. Yes. And in my- And now, in my definition, thinking the same thought at the same time. 

When I say, “I love you, Scott,” and you say, “I love you, John,” back, there’s a connection there- Sure

that happens. 

If you say, if I say, “I love you,” and you don’t say anything back, there’s a disconnection that happens. There is that disconnect.

And that’s a very strange feeling, but the one we’re working for is this feeling of connection. 

Coach Fergie: How about those people that are, like, kinda walking around today living under identity they never consciously chose, what they were…

chose it maybe by their parent called them, like you just alluded to a little bit earlier. They might’ve, they might have called them stupid or dumb, or they won’t amount to anything. What, at what point does someone else’s opinion, [00:07:00] become our own I am? Huh. And can you give a tip or two on how they can break that cycle?

Coach John Denney: This is you just pointed out something very important. Most people, unfortunately, will go through life without the awakening that they’re in control of this. At all. They don’t, there is no sort of awakening, like, “Wow, my thoughts are things and I’m in control of them.” So they go through life, I don’t wanna call it sleepwalking, but basically, not awake.

Not awake to these higher thoughts. But then, when we’re talking about this I am, even those people should be cautious. Because even if they’re just using their I am in their ego world out in the world you don’t wanna be going along bringing negativity into things. So at the fi- at the most basic levels, it’s just how we use this- 

Coach Fergie: Absolutely

these words. Yeah, I read in Chad Helmste- Chad Helmstetter’s book What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, that parents tell their kids no 135,000 times by the time they’re 13 years old. That’s on average. So that [00:08:00] already sets a negative connotation in their life- Absolutely … in a sense, right?

And I, and that’s where, I think some… and it was in my household too, right? There was never… Again, I love my dad, but he was a line m- he worked on the assembly line and stuff like that, and there was never like, “Go kill it. Go get it, after it.” It’s just “Hey, we got a l- little bit of lack,” thinking and whatnot.

And it pulled through. Luckily, I’ve surrounded myself l- with people, and now my dad does pretty damn good- … for where he’s at now, man. He’s rocking. But how about, you know- Like describing yourself and defining yourself. There’s… I believe there’s a massive difference in between saying, “I’m struggling financially” versus “I’m terrible with my money.”

One describes a temporary circumstance. 

Coach John Denney: Yes. 

Coach Fergie: The other declares an identity. So how do we, Coach, how do we teach people to acknowledge their reality without making the circumstances their reality? 

Coach John Denney: Honestly, I think this goes back to your coaching nugget at the beginning of the show when you said you’re either, you’re your critic or you’re coach, or you…

What are you doing to yourself? Are you [00:09:00] building yourself up? Are you cutting yourself down? There’s plenty of people out there willing to cut us down. We can’t be one of them, we have to have the self-confidence, the self-assurance, and we do that, through those affirmations.

And affirmations really are more of a mental work than a spiritual work, absolutely. They might lead to it, but it’s how do we go out there and think, and not suffer from imposter syndrome, sort of- … have that self-confidence we need when we’re showing up in front of a group of people, understanding that. 

Coach Fergie: I told a story about my speech this week with that. Yeah, ’cause the subconscious doesn’t know you’re joking. No. Right? Because, a lot of, like a lot of times with my clients, they’ll be like, “Oh, I wanna do affirmations.” I’m like, “Let’s flip those affirmations into a question.”

Ask yourself powerful questions. ‘Cause even when I pull out of the studio here today, I’m gonna make a left, and something’s gonna fire in my brain to say, “Should I turn my blinker on?” Weak question. But if we ask ourselves those powerful questions, our subconscious mind goes to work answering them.

Make sense? 

Coach John Denney: Yes, 

Coach Fergie: absolutely. Answering them to make [00:10:00] it real for ourselves, right? So-

Coach John Denney: I think even when you told me Tuesday this is what we’re gonna be talking about, that, that started firing that part of my brain, every few hours was like, “Oh, we’re gonna talk about I am this, this Friday.”

So when that starts clicking, you’re like, “Oh, okay.” And then like you said, it- Some subconscious part of the brain starts bringing it to the forefront 

Coach Fergie: And it’s so powerful, ’cause, And the conscious brain is kinda like the gatekeeper, right? That’s what Napoleon Hills said in- 

Coach John Denney: Yes … 

Coach Fergie: think and Grow Rich is one of the…

If you haven’t read it, squad, it’s one of the great books. Especially the mastermind principle. That’s the one that stuck with me throughout my whole life, ’cause I will sit and with… Sometimes they’re imag- they’re all the time, they’re imaginary people, right? Whether there’s Jesus Christ there, there’s other people- 

Coach John Denney: Yes

Coach Fergie: that I respect. E- even Donald Trump’s been at my table. Okay. Since 1999 when I first read the book, and when he was just a bankrupt real estate guy, dug himself out of a hole. But I had read all of his books, and I was like, “All right, this…” The the comeback. This makes sense. There’s tips, right?

About just surrounding yourself with those people that are going [00:11:00] to, pour into you. Because I guarantee if I was in their circle, they would not be tearing me down. They might… If I’m in competition with them, they might- 

Coach John Denney: … In the 

Coach Fergie: business, but other than that, I think that they’d be lifting us up.

Coach John Denney: No, and I think that’s what all, all successful people… I, they have the reward in full. The ones who are going out there and self-serving and really not trying to connect with others, not trying to help others, we don’t have to worry about them. 

They’re gonna get their reward in full. We don’t have to, we don’t have to be the policemen of the world.

Love that. And that leaves you a lot of freedom to live a happier, healthier life. There’s lots of people that wanna be nice out there. There are. So why spend time with the ones who aren’t? Look how we ran 

Coach Fergie: into each other. 

Coach John Denney: Exactly. It was- That’s not a coincidence. 

Coach Fergie: No. No, that was staged already, ready to be played out.

Yes. We just had to live into it. 

Coach John Denney: Now, us taking action, meeting here- … meeting on the dock, that’s all stuff we had to choose. 

Coach Fergie: Yes, sir. 

Coach John Denney: But that first meeting, that was probably some divine synchronicity there- 100% … at some level. We decided to continue this relationship. 

Coach Fergie: And [00:12:00] thanks to Jeremy- Yeah.

putting on the InLight Connect. Out there in squad, we’re gonna throw it to my awesome sauce sponsor, Steve Austin with Rise Mortgage, with… I know the rates just ticked up another quarter point this week but he’s gonna give us a mortgage knowledge nugget that you can run with. And when we get back, we’re gonna dig into with my g- good friend and coach, John Denny, the danger of positive self-deception with your I am.

Steve, take it away. 

Steve Austin Mortgage Nugget: Thanks, Scott. Happy Saturday, everyone. This is Steve Austin with the Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team here with your Mortgage Nugget of the Week. One thing to know that can make a big difference when you buy your next home, not all mortgage lenders are created equal, and not every loan fits into the same box.

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Coach Fergie: Hey, thanks, Stevie. Really appreciate it. And the, by the way, like the steps that you’re taking over there at Rise Mortgage and building that facility out is amazing. Squad, get there and go visit them for all your mortgage needs over there in Tequesta, Florida. And there’s address and phone number in the show notes below.

Mr. John, the danger of positive self-deception. Okay, here’s what I want to challenge like the whole affirmation movement with a little bit. If someone is sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing but repeating, “I am successful,” aren’t they potentially lying to themselves? And John, where’s the line between powerful [00:15:00] identity-based self-talk and empty affirmations?

Coach John Denney: Funny you ask this question, ’cause Brian Mudd and I were having a discussion about this right before you walked in. And The danger, the line, whatever you wanna call it, is belief. Because most of us are making affirmations, but we don’t believe it. “I am healthy. No, I’m not, I have arthritis and I’m sick,” is what I really believe.

Yes. “I am wealthy,” and I believe, “No I’m in debt up to my eyeballs.” Okay? So we’re pretending. And it’s complete facade. 

And yes, talk i- it’s just words. 

They don’t do anything. 

And yes to confuse ourself with positive self-talk, positive affirmations, that’s why they get a bad rap.

They don’t turn into a belief system. They just turn into words, right? So they mean nothing. 

Coach Fergie: In your coaching, how do you help them shape their belief systems and believe in themselves and help shape them? Can you give a nugget or two about how you do that? 

Coach John Denney: We’ve gotta identify what [00:16:00] they believe first, because when they realize they’re getting exactly what they believe, and you can point out the belief system that’s getting that- Right

then they understand a little more, rather than having hopes and dreams that things are gonna change from the outside. And once they start to understand that, then you m- then you realize if you wanna change the outside, you need to change the inside. You need to basically change your I am statements- 

Coach Fergie: Right

Coach John Denney: to a belief system. And is there a little bit of fake it till you make it? Is there a little bit of that feeling like- 

Coach Fergie: 100%, yeah … 

Coach John Denney: a teeny bit. But it’s much less than th- than these people teaching, “Here’s how you’re gonna go. You need to do affirmations.” 

That’s a joke. 

Coach Fergie: 100%. And then, again, it goes back to flipping it into a question for me, right?

And I’m blessed to… the people that I coach, they go through my hour PAR, and then there’s eight weeks, and every Sunday I text them what they’re gonna add to their to what I call protocol. 

Coach John Denney: Okay. 

Coach Fergie: And it always starts with, your three things you’re grateful for, your intention for the day, big win of yesterday, act of [00:17:00] service, who had an impact on me, a learning m- moment, powerful question in I am.

I save the two hardest to really dig into the powerful question and the I am. The powerful question I’ll give you an example of one of my rockstar clients. She’s a CEO out in Boise, Idaho, absolutely kills it. She’s like, “How is it I have the ability to walk in a room, generally connect with people, and leave an impact that continues long after I walk out?”

That’s strong. That gets the subconscious mind, like, rocking. And her I am statement is, “I am a powerful speaker and coach who is changing her life and ways of organically growing her business, bank account, relationships, and impacting people in a positive, long-lasting way.” They dig into the protocol.

But if you’re talking to yourself like that- On a daily basis. ‘Cause my clients have to do it Monday to Friday. By 9:00 AM their time, they must get me their protocol. If not, accountability Pitbull Scott reaches out on them, right? So but w- what do you think about the kind of ways that people are kinda self-sabotaging themselves [00:18:00] in living and then I guess playing the victim?

Coach John Denney: It’s it’s what you pointed out before. Their belief system is something that’s been im- imposed upon them, and they’re believing it from the outside world, how they are and things like that. And I think that when we make the switch and we become more in the driver’s seat, understanding that we’re the ones in control.

So talking about it before, when you’re talking about using the, these affirmations, once we have had that aha go off- Yeah … and we are believing ourselves to be successful, then I think the affirmations become extremely useful and powerful- 

… 

Coach John Denney: Because we’re creating. I make the affirmation, “I am perfect health, radiant, vital, dynamic health.”

Color 

Introduction: orange. 

Coach John Denney: Each and every day. Love it, man. I make that over and over again. Somewhere along the way, I became to believe it. Now, my, I might get sick and die tomorrow, I don’t know. Sure. But today, I am r- radiating a high level of health as far as my body’s concerned, at [00:19:00] 64 years old.

Coach Fergie: You’re 

Introduction: killing 

Coach Fergie: it. We’re out there doing, a couple miles and exercises every 30 yards,

Coach John Denney: keep it moving. Yeah. Keep it moving. A- and so I think affirmations at that level can be really valuable because it becomes your belief system. It becomes your story. It’s when we’re trying to change our story with affirmations- and not belief is when it’s a little bit, tentative. 

Coach Fergie: I find when I’m working with clients, that once we know the story they’re telling themselves, we can make the change. 

Coach John Denney: Yes. 

Coach Fergie: And lie… ’cause a lot of people, they, again, they lie to themselves,

Coach John Denney: and if you can get them to hear their story.

Coach Fergie: Yeah. 

Coach John Denney: A lot of people just keep telling it and then it’s I don’t think they really hear- … exactly what’s going on. 

Coach Fergie: It’s when you make them repeat it. 

When they’re like, “Wait, what am I saying?” 

‘

Coach Fergie: Cause they’ll rattle off, but you stop them “You just said…” 

Coach John Denney: I love what you said to your coach the other day, or, to your client the other day.

W- if your coach was talking to you like you’re talking to you, would you even be playing for him? 

Probably not. 

Coach Fergie: 100%, 

Coach John Denney: And that’s really the foundation of this whole talk today at the basic level is starting to use that “I [00:20:00] am” verbally. 

Coach Fergie: Yes. 

Coach John Denney: And when you use it incorrectly and you say, “I am tired” or, “I am broke,” the, the light bulbs go off.

Coach Fergie: Yeah. Chases you, yes. 

Coach John Denney: And so you said, taking the Lord’s name in vain or whatever, I honestly believe, if I say Jesus Christ followed by some selected profanity, or God, you know- 

Coach Fergie: Yeah … 

Coach John Denney: followed by prof- I don’t really look at that as taking the Lord’s name in vain. I 

Coach Fergie: understand.

Coach John Denney: But when I start saying, “I am a jerk, I’m an idiot, I…” And I use that “I am”- words then I do believe I’m taking the Lord’s name in vain at a different level. 

Coach Fergie: And you mentioned about kind of pressure, revealing identity. I talked about it a little bit in my nugget, but it’s easy to say, “I’m resilient” when everything’s going great, right?

But but what happens when you lose your job, marriage falls apart, or business fails? Like, how… With, you’re coaching someone, how can someone train their internal dialogue so their identity holds up when life punches them in the mouth? 

Coach John Denney: The, the great Mike Tyson saying, right? “We all [00:21:00] have a plan till we get punched in the face.”

Coach Fergie: Yeah. 

Coach John Denney: Which is true. I- in my opinion, Scott, it’s developing a solid, reliable foundation when stuff is not hitting the fan. When things are not going wrong. And that’s why over the last 10 years of becoming a daily meditator, listen, there’s days where I’ve been out there where things are going great.

There’s other weeks where things haven’t been going great, and there’s other weeks where it’s really kind of status quo. And sometimes that’s the hardest time to get yourself out there and do it. But in m- what I’ve found over the years now, it’s sometimes the most important time to do it.

Coach Fergie: Absolutely. ‘

Coach John Denney: Cause you’re not gonna make- Big spiritual progress when you’re having a big temper tantrum or meltdown. 

You, hopefully you’ll get yourself back up to a place where you can just operate. 

You’re not gonna make incredible progress when you’re having a super high. If you’ve just won the championship running- Right

Y- you think you are- … but you’re not. 

And so you have to manage those, and then when the average ordinary comes, we keep making the [00:22:00] spiritual progress. Yes. Working on our I am- … statements, working on our belief system so when life starts to hand us the lemonade and the lemons that we know, we know what to do.

We don’t go into those emotional 

Coach Fergie: turmoil. And also, be careful not to make a decision while you’re in the valley. 

Coach John Denney: Yeah. 

Coach Fergie: You know what I’m saying? ‘Cause even in Psalms 23, I think we mentioned this on The Dot. Yeah, on The Dot. We walk through the valley of shadow of death. We don’t sit there and stew in it, and be like, “Oh, poor me.

I’m a-” Take a seat. You walk. You trust God a- and you walk, right? And so there’s, the, that’s… We got a four minutes left. The responsibility of speaking life into others with this. We talk about what follows I am, but what about the labels we put on other people? Especially children, spouses, employees, people that we coach.

When a parents, parent is consistently saying- 

Coach John Denney: Listen … “

Coach Fergie: No, you’re lazy,” 

Coach John Denney: You wanna use your you are’s as carefully as you use your I am’s. And we wanna treat others- Yeah … like we wanna be treated. And if I wanna treat myself [00:23:00] at the highest level, I am awesome, I am happy, I am healthy, I want you to be those things, too.

Sure. I want… So because we’re one. We’re connected, yes. We’re divinely connected through this- 

… 

Coach John Denney: Power of love, power of I am and we wanna use that. So my you are’s Should be used as carefully as 

Coach Fergie: my I ams This is powerful. Absolutely. And Squad, about that, is we… go to theharmonyexercise.com.

Go there right now if you want to while you’re listening ’cause this’ll play in the background if you’re on the app on the phone with WJNO. But go there and check it out. And if you’re interested, give us a call, give me a call directly, which I’ll leave my number in a little bit,

Coach John Denney: We’ll give you a free sign-in, whatever 

Coach Fergie: you want

yeah, we’ll get you a sign-in to be able to take you through the harmony exercise. ‘Cause again, it’s a prayer. People go, “I’m going to pray on the dock.” I don’t… meditation is the same thing. Jesus meditated, prayer, but it’s a prayer. We’re s- we’re talking to God, asking God, you know- And 

Coach John Denney: renewing our minds

Coach Fergie: renewing. Yeah, exactly, and that’s… I absolutely love that. John, I wanna leave the listeners [00:24:00] with something a little bit uncomfortable, what are the biggest obstacle who they are today and who they’re capable of becoming isn’t their circumstances, their education, their bank account, or even their past.

What is the… What if it’s the person they’ve been telling themselves they are, and what would happen if starting today they changed that conversation? What, what would happen? And where do you think that they should start? I’d tell them the harmony exercise. I’m telling them to at least start there.

Coach John Denney: We… Where would you start? It’s funny that you’d say start at the harmony exercise, ’cause that’s where I, that’s the, where I leave my clients at the end, yeah. That’s where we’re headed toward. But I would start with that realization that we have to be nice to ourselves – 

Coach Fergie: Yeah … 

Coach John Denney: at the simplest foundational level.

And we have to do that through our belief system, and we’ve been, we’re programming it, we’re changing it all the time, we’re making progress, and we need to be- Overly aware, because when you use the words I am, you’re writing a check that’s gonna be cashed. And if you’re saying, “I’m tired, lazy, broke,” [00:25:00] you’re gonna receive those things.

If you say, “I’m- The check’s 

Coach Fergie: gonna bounce. 

Coach John Denney: The check is gonna… Ah. Hopefully. 

Coach Fergie: Yeah. 

Coach John Denney: And and vice versa. When you start to repeat the statements that you and I are doing on a daily basis in the Harmony- Sure … you start to transform. You are transformed by renewing the mind. 

Coach Fergie: And I love that in squad, John goes out there and puts, a daily video, pretty much every day puts videos.

I’ve been blessed to have been in the videos with him out there. The other people, and there’s the, the old manager for U2, the band U2- Yeah … is out with us and it was just a lot of fun. But squad, I really want you to be careful what you attach to the words I am. Because what you repeatedly declare about yourself can become what you believe, what you tolerate, and eventually how you behave.

Your past is your past. Now picture yourself in your car, rear view mirror’s small for a reason. That’s a, that’s your past. It’s a great place to learn from, it’s a great place to visit, but that windshield, that might be big and scary. If you need help in that area I’m be more than happy to put you in touch with John.

John is my GPS- … that’s on the dashboard, right? [00:26:00] And John can get you there. And again, go to theharmonyexercise.com. And I just wanna throw a big shout-out to Brian Mudd, my awesome producer. WJNO, I want everybody to go out there, have a fantastic, safe weekend, and a huge, big blessing shout-out to our troops that are out there doing the deed to keep us the best country on earth.

I absolutely love you guys.