I need more motivated people around me.” Okay, but here’s an uncomfortable question. Would the person you’re looking for be attracted to the person you’re being right now? You want disciplined people around you? Be disciplined. You want people with [00:01:00] integrity? Live with integrity when no one’s watching. You want people to bring energy?

Take ownership and refuse to make excuses. Then you better make very sure that’s what you’re bringing to the table. And here’s another piece people miss, squad. Leadership isn’t only about what you model, it’s also about what you tolerate. Every behavior you continuously tolerate quietly becomes part of your standard.

So maybe instead of asking, “Why do I keep attracting these people?” ask yourself a better question, “What am I projecting, permitting, or tolerating that’s making me a magnet for them?” Raise your standards, raise your own game, and there you go. So today our monthly edition of Coach’s Corner is back, and I’m proud to bring back into studio a man that I respect immensely and I’m blessed to have coach me.

Mr. John Denny, a sports performance coach for top golfers, teams, and O- Olympians, along with entrepreneurs, also everyday people. One of the paddleboard pioneers, making the first paddleboard instruction video to pass one million views. He has worked with many PGA and LPGA golfers, including Lexi Thompson.

He’s also the pastor at Unity of Jupiter Church, [00:02:00] and I’m blessed to have him back in the studio. Mr. John, how are you, sir? 

John Denney: Blessed to be here again with you, Scott. 

Coach Fergie: Awesome. Yeah, it’s like every… we have a, a standing Tuesday appointment. It’s being pushed back a little bit- … because the sunrise, ’cause we do the harmony exercise.

And I’m sure you… I get a lot of feedback from my post on social, which I don’t do much posting on social, but John introduced me to the harmony exercise almost four months ago, and it’s become a morning… I- I’m not gonna call it a ritual, but it’s a morning h- habit that I’ve gotten into that’s brought me super close to God, super close to my being and just it’s the alignment that I’ve felt- 

John Denney: Right

Coach Fergie: Through it. But everything’s good? 

John Denney: Everything is great. Yeah. A- and I appreciate you being such a proponent of it, and the reason is it’s like going to the gym. 

Coach Fergie: Yes. 

John Denney: If we’re gonna go to… If we wanna get- Yeah … in shape, we need to go to the gym. If we wanna get mentally and emotionally in shape, we need to do something.

And the harmony exercise works for us,

Coach Fergie: think Harvey Mackay, the, the one that wrote Swim With The Sharks: About Being Eaten Alive, he said something like, “Motivation is like bathing. You have to do it [00:03:00] every day.” But it’s the same thing with… I found with the harmony exercise, again it’s a…

I w- wanna call it’s a fun way to pray, but it’s an excellent way to give God his props, if you wanna say that- … or homage to our creator, but also not be afraid to ask to help other people through it and and it’ll put it, put us into alignment, right? 

John Denney: Absolutely. A, a way to command what we want into our lives without hurting anyone and- 

Coach Fergie: Yes

John Denney: getting everything we want, yeah. 

Coach Fergie: It’s just so many things. I’ve prayed using the ACTS acronym for a long time, where it’s like show adulation. The, it’s an acronym. Adulation to God, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication. If you really look at the harmony exercise, it’s the same thing.

Yep. You’re giving God his glory, right? You’re giving confessions in a sense of, “Hey, what do I need to work on with this?” The thanksgiving is throughout the harmony exercise, throughout- … the whole. And then we’re asking, especially when we get into right action, we’re asking to put everything we’re [00:04:00] about to do today into the action that, that- Surrender.

Yes. 

John Denney: Turning it over. Absolutely. We don’t have much control anyway. 

Coach Fergie: That’s very true. So what is your thoughts on you, back in 2006, Rhonda Byrne and everybody brought out the law of attraction and whatnot, and so what is your thoughts going into that with a- attracting the right people into your life?

John Denney: So I think the law of attraction’s sort of been misrepresented a little bit because people are like, “Oh, let’s use the law of attraction so I can get my Ferrari- … or my boat- Yes … and stuff like that. And that’s not really how it works. So the law of attraction, what I was taught, is if you want something, so let’s look at a partner for instance.

Sure. I wanna, I want someone in my life, whether a business person or a new partner, and I was told to write down every attribute, like you said in the opening. I want someone with integrity. I want someone honest. I want someone who’s a good lover. I want all the different things I want in a partner.

And then the person said, [00:05:00] “Now, take that list, become those things, and throw the list away. Stop looking for that person. Become that person, and you will-” … using your term, level up, and you will find that person. And that’s what I’ve found more and more true with everything, not only attracting the partner we want, but attracting the situations in life we want.

We have to pray with the end in mind. We almost have to become that thing. I have to be it. So you see someone going to medical school. 

In their mind, they’re already a doctor. 

They just have to go to medical school. But if you talk to them, in their mind, they have already become that thing- Right

even though to the world it doesn’t look that way quite yet. 

Coach Fergie: I love that. 

John Denney: Yeah. But they have to believe it and become it. Yes, I am a doctor. 

And that’s true with everything we do. 

Coach Fergie: Sure. 

John Denney: So we have to believe it before we achieve it. 

Coach Fergie: 100%. And who you are is who you attract is what I kinda heard in that.

Does that apply just as much to, friendships, relationships and personal circle, not just business? [00:06:00] 

John Denney: I think it applies to every area of our life. Vibration is vibration. 

And i- if you look in your life and there’s people who are in it who may not be Adding to your life or bringing up, we can’t be scared to let them go.

And a lot of p- times, w- especially from speaking for myself, I wanna be the rescuer. 

I wanna help the- 

Coach Fergie: Yes, 

John Denney: me too … unhelpable, yeah. And I’ve learned over my times there’s some people that just, they’re not, they don’t wanna be helped. 

Coach Fergie: Not yet, a lot of times. I, the, I found that even myself, man, when I was younger, oh man, I knew everything.

And like my investors and my mentors were like, “Watch that market,” ’08, ’09. It watched me. It bit me. I did not listen. But it seems like since then I had an awakening, which was your harmony exercise- … this morning to being more humble to listen, to let the people in that are really going… That I can serve, but in turn return, get back from them in a sense.

Be open to the reciprocity from that person, right? 

John Denney: Oh, yeah. Absolutely. 

Coach Fergie: Like [00:07:00] Ed Mylett, who’s… I’m not saying he’s a good friend, but he’s somebody that I know and I’ve had to been able to speak to him. He talks about the internal thermostat that we have, where the, we tend to regulate back towards what we believe we deserve, right?

So could that explain why some people keep finding themselves in the same bad relationships, bad friendships, situations? 

John Denney: A- absolutely. W- I say often, we don’t get what we want in life, we get what we believe. We get what we are. 

Coach Fergie: Yes. 

John Denney: So many times people will put, okay they’ll set a goal, and in reality they’re affirming that they don’t have that thing.

Coach Fergie: Yes. 

John Denney: So they don’t really create a belief system that they own and can have that thing. Which is tricky. This is the tricky part of visualization and manifestation- 

Coach Fergie: Right … 

John Denney: is coming to that belief that it’s yours before you actually physically have it. 

Coach Fergie: And, 

John Denney: And then not to push it away. So many people, “I’ll be happy when…”

I’ll be happy when just means I’m not happy [00:08:00] now. And if I’m not happy now, unfortunately I won’t be happy when, because when never comes. We only have now. And if we’re not happy now I’m sorry, tomorrow is probably gonna be another reflection of what you are today. It’s not gonna…

The… As far as I can see at 64 years old, no lightning bolts have come down and changed my life. Not yet. No. 

Coach Fergie: Speaking of that, so you s- started really practicing the Harmony exercises in 1985. 

John Denney: 1985.

Coach Fergie: And you haven’t missed a day since 2016. 

John Denney: Yes. 

Coach Fergie: Okay. So when did Bari come into your life?

You… By the way, Bari’s his wife, and we were out, me and John did a workout on Tuesday at the Heart Trail in Jupiter, and she was lapping us. So it was like… Was… When did she come about in your life? 

John Denney: She came about in my life freshman year of college at Syracuse University, and we lived in the same dormitory, and we had a little affair, and we were in the same group of friends.

And then we d- really didn’t see each other junior, sophomore, junior, senior year, we kinda went our separate ways. I moved to [00:09:00] California and I was coming, but we maintained the same group of friends, and I was gonna move back to New York from California, and she had four nights of Grateful Dead tickets.

And she said, “I got one for John Denny.” And we went, and then literally I say what a long strange trip it’s been, but we went to every show. Really? And we’ve been together ever since. You were a Deadhead there for a bit, huh? Oh, yeah, we were, yeah, we were at a little. 

Coach Fergie: So with- W- with being ready, it’s almost like you weren’t ready for her.

You were young, 18 years old, but then and further- No, I 

John Denney: was 20. Yeah. The second time around- Yeah … 23, yeah. 

Coach Fergie: Yeah. And were you working on yourself by then, or had you not 

John Denney: really- No, I had met Carol, and I- Okay … I came back- You had met him before. I came back to New York spiritually awake.

Okay. I knew there was something bigger. And Barry always tells the story that when she saw me, I was different. There was something, there was a, something different. My, my, the way I carried myself. And I had a license plate on my car, which I still have now, which is R, radiant, vital, dynamic health, R-V-D- [00:10:00] h-L-T-H, and she wanted to know what that meant. 

And I had said to myself, “I’m gonna learn… I’m gonna marry the first woman who embraces and learns the harmony exercise.” 

And I’d had some beautiful girlfriends before her- Sure … and they just ne- none of them were really interested in it, and she’s “I wanna know what that means.”

And so we went to Central Park in Manhattan. Really? We sat down on a rock. We did the harmony, and she said when she opened her eyes, the world was different, and it’s never been the same since. So she did have a aha moment- … in her awakening. 

Coach Fergie: I used to find my closeness with God in silence, okay?

And that’s where I feel… I still believe that silence is God’s voice if you’re really tuned in, right? 

Yet when we do the harmony exercise, and I’m not here to be… squat, I’m not here to be a proponent of go do it or go do it.” Yeah I just know that it’s worked with my alignment in life.

But I’ve not been closer with him since I’ve really implemented it, right? And again, this, going back to the topic here is the person that I [00:11:00] wanna become to attract people like you in my life. Yeah. And to have people like Brian Mudd in my life. And obviously Susan in my life, right? But it’s it’s just got me into alignment.

John Denney: A- and what I recommend, honestly, Scott, I, I do the same as you. I’m not… I don’t push it down people’s throats. I’ve never pushed it down your throat. But I do tell my clients that, yes, you should have a personal practice. I don’t care if it’s the rosary, I don’t care if it’s transcendental meditation.

Sure. I don’t care if it’s mindfulness. I don’t really care what it is. But you should have some sort of personal practice- Yeah … which resets you on a daily 

Coach Fergie: basis. Resets or brings you closer to God- 

John Denney: Yeah … 

Coach Fergie: and your creator. 

John Denney: Which- And it’s a whole… It takes a lot less time than the gym. 

Coach Fergie: 100%, although we still have to do our cardio, right?

Oh, 

John Denney: absolutely. John said- So harmony, meditation is not good for cardio. Yeah, 

Coach Fergie: squad. Yeah, John’s friend said, yeah. Yeah, the har- harmony exercise works, except it’s not good for the cardio in your body. 

John Denney: As, as I was sucking wind on the pickleball court there. 

Coach Fergie: And, squad, we’re going to send it to [00:12:00] my awesome sauce sponsor, Steve Austin with Rise Mortgage.

He’s got a phenomenal mortgage nugget of the week for you. When we come back, we’re gonna dive in a little bit about becoming the person that you want to attract. So Steve, take it away. 

Steve Austin – Show Sponsor – Rize Mortgage: Thanks, Scott. Happy Saturday, everyone. This is Steve Austin with the Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team with your mortgage nugget of the week.

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To learn about what the power of your equity could do for you, give us a call at 561-250-6044. That’s 561-250-6044. That’s it for this week. This is Steve Austin, your branch manager, NMLS 762328 of the Rise Mortgage Dynamic Team, NMLS 1604663, an equal housing lender. 

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Coach Fergie: Hey, Steve Austin. Thank you so much for the Mortgage Knowledge Nugget, and [00:14:00] also for your sponsorship. You’re fantastic, awesome sauce, man. I absolutely love your guts. And back with my good friend and coach, John Denny. And John, we’re really digging into being the person you want to attract.

So i- if we were to take it even beyond leadership if someone has constantly have drama, negativity, gossip, chaos showing up in their personal life, at what point do they stop saying, “Why does this keep happening to me?” And start asking, “What role am I playing i- in keeping this around?”

Like, when do you start seeing in your clients, your friends, and whatnot that turning point for them? 

John Denney: I think it’s when they meet you and me and somebody gives them an aha. And says, “Yo, man.” See what you’re creating here.” 

This isn’t happening to you. This is happening through you.

Coach Fergie: Yes. 

John Denney: And this is not, you’re not a victim here. You’re actually the creator. You’re causing this exact stuff. I had to be brutal with a friend of mine last week. I was just like, you’ve lost your joy.” He just focuses on negativity all day long, and I’m like, when I met you, you had this joyful, [00:15:00] curious personality, going out, learning new sports, cooking, and doing all these great things, and you’ve let all that go now.”

And I go in and I go you just look very joyless.” And

Coach Fergie: wow. 

John Denney: And that hurts sometimes, man. You can’t do that to everybody, of course. Sure. But some people need th- that level of awakening, and it’s … ‘Cause they’re caught in their own bubble. They can’t see, they can’t see anything.

Coach Fergie: ‘Cause a lot of coaches, they force down their throat, a- and no disrespect to any of my fellow coaches out there, but they force down their throat affirmations. I feel good. I feel great. I feel terrific. But your conscious mind is like, “No you don’t, dude.” 

John Denney: Exactly. 

Coach Fergie: So what I did, and I might have told you this before, but the s- the squad out there that’s listening, is take those affirmations and turn them into questions.

And the reason why I say that is we’re programmed to to problem solve as human beings. God gave us that ability. We’re the highest level. We are the only living organism on this earth that will not live to its highest potential. You’ll see a tree, but its root system is only as tall as that tree can grow.

And some people will be like [00:16:00] what about dogs? They get fat.” The owner’s probably obese. You know what I’m saying? It they follow the lead of that. So what I’m saying with instead of affirmations, put in questions. Like I’ll, I have questions every morning that I ask myself, says, “How am I so disciplined to do what I want when I don’t wanna do it, and do it with a smile on my face?”

Or, “How is it I never use crisis as a motivation and never let crisis be my motivator?” Ask the questions and your mind starts going to work. The subconscious part of your mind- 

John Denney: Yes … 

Coach Fergie: starts going to work saying, “Wait a minute, he’s asking me this? I better answer it.” 

John Denney: A- and that’s where affirmations work.

They work on our subcon- They don’t really work on your objective mind because- … it’s too easy to talk yourself out of it. A- and so we often, use denials as a little break- … before you hear the bad ones coming in. But then, a- and w- what I found is I, the less I tell people what I think they should do and the more I tell people what I do and works for me I seem to have a greater effect on people.

And so it’s “Here’s my experience.” 

“

John Denney: And these things have worked for me.” How I’ve helped you. I’ve never told you to do anything. Never. Matter of [00:17:00] fact- You 

Coach Fergie: invited. E- 

John Denney: exactly. 

Coach Fergie: You invited me, and I was like, “Absolutely.” A- 

John Denney: And we became friends through a- Sure

very organic way- Yeah … over the last three or four months. Four months. Yeah, 

Coach Fergie: yeah. 

John Denney: And but that wouldn’t have happened if I was sitting here trying to tell you how to live your life right. I’m gonna, I live my life, and you’re like, “Oh I’m gonna… I see some of the stuff John does.

I’m gonna apply that in my life.” Other stuff might not work for me, I won’t. But- 

… 

John Denney: You’re creating the Scott Ferguson program. I’m creating the John Denny program. Yes. And hopefully they help other people in some way. 

Coach Fergie: One thing I s- I notice is the coaches that are out there, especially the new budding ones that are coming up, and o- one thing that my coach, th- shout out to Berta out there I’ve had her since 1999, right?

So that’s 27 years, right? So she said, when she told me in 2011, she’s like, “Okay, it’s time for you to coach.” And I’m like, “I don’t… Who am I to coach anybody, right?” And she’s like, “Listen, you’ve been a real estate professional your whole life, right?” And she’s like, “You’re helping them with their biggest investment probably to that point in [00:18:00] their life.

Not only are you a realtor, but you’re a marriage counselor because you have the husband and wife bickering about stuff. You’re a babysitter with the kids.” A- and stuff like that. But, so I said, “Okay.” But the first thing that she said is like, “Ask permission-” … “to coach.” So many of these people that call themselves coaches, they’ll sit down- And just start coaching 

John Denney: And you.

Yes. A- and being a minister, my mother quickly told me, “When you’re up on that stage, John, do not use the word you,” “don’t tell anybody anything.” 

Coach Fergie: Yes. 

John Denney: Use the word me, I, or whatever. But… and I found that’s been a much more powerful way to teach- 

… 

John Denney: A- and a much easier way to defend your teaching, too.

Coach Fergie: Absolutely. 

John Denney: It’s like, it’s hard for people to argue against my belief system because it works for me, so how can you argue against that? 

Coach Fergie: And I and in coaching I never use… I take it back. I- in certain situations, but I work hard not to use the word why when I’m asking a question.

There’s so much judgment in that. “Why did you do that?” Where you can easily flip it to “What, what was happening for you [00:19:00] to, make that decision?” So- Exactly … I 

John Denney: don’t- did you get a chance to watch my sermon from last week with the… So it was based on Ted Lasso’s comment, “Be curious- Be curious, yeah

not judgmental.” 

When you truly curious, you’re in the moment. There is no judgment. You wanna know. Yes. You’re… There’s give and take. It’s all this very nice feeling. 

And then, but we can couch judgment in a question. 

“

John Denney: What were you thinking, Scott,” it’s that- that’s not a question.

Coach Fergie: No. It’s not. It’s basically- That’s a persecution … a 

John Denney: statement- it’s a 

Coach Fergie: little- … towards you. And when then somebody called you in the middle of church, that was actually… And it was planned, wasn’t it? It was 

John Denney: planned. 

Coach Fergie: Okay. Yeah, to see the judgment of the people- 

John Denney: And my 

Coach Fergie: pho- … 

John Denney: with your phone ringing

Bari bit in. Bari bit it. Did she? She was like, “Why in the world does he have his phone on?” And it was just exactly what I wanted to happen. And to see some pe- and some other people were like, “Oh, I can’t believe he… It’s too bad he didn’t turn his phone off,” or… so some people were curious, and some people were judgmental.

Most people in this day and age, when you’re rude on a phone, they’re going [00:20:00] straight to judgment. 

Coach Fergie: 100%. 

John Denney: They’re not gonna be- Yes … curious for a second. 

Coach Fergie: Yeah, that’s my, my, my superpower is curiosity. That’s good. Like, whenever I meet somebody, I use the FORD technique, F-O-R-D. Being from the Motor City, shout out to Detroit, but F-O-R-D, family, occupation, recreation, dreams.

If I can find out or just curiously organically ask those questions, I will get to know so much about that person. 

And people love to talk about themselves, 

John Denney: right? I used a Martin Luther King quote in my sermon last week about… And he said pe- he’s convinced people hate, men hate each other because they don’t know each other.

Yes. And they don’t know each other because they don’t communicate with each other. And they don’t communicate each other ’cause they’re not curious about each other. And what you just said, if you can be curious with that FORD technique, you’re opening up the, you’re opening up true compassion- Right

caring, connection, all these areas where- We just don’t do it anymore 100%. Eye contact’s a tough thing to do, you 

Coach Fergie: know? And you had the lady with the thank you notes. I’ve been doing that since probably 2000. 

John Denney: And look where you are. 

Coach Fergie: Yeah, and, I [00:21:00] sent you a thank you note. Yes, you did.

I believe I even sent Brian one when I first met him, and that means so much. At a networking event, my biggest compliment that I can get is when I turn around and that person go, “What does that guy do?” about me. Because I’ve got all the information from them, I go out to my car, I have a stack of thank you notes, and I’ve met you.

“Hey, John, it’s great to meet you at this event. You mentioned this.” Through asking questions with AFORD. “If you ever wanna talk about it, here’s my card.” And I put my coaching card in there, mail it off, and they always at least respond like, “Dude.” ‘Cause you and I are from the era, and so is Brian, my awesome producer, that we looked forward to You’ve Got Mail- Mail

from AOL, right? Now, when I go to the mailbox and I see a letter from somebody, that, that’s amazing. But to get back on topic for the last four and a half minutes here, I’m gonna challenge that law of magnetism, right? I don’t wanna attract a clone of myself, but I need people who think differently, challenge me, and are better than me in certain areas.

So how do we attract common values without accidentally creating an echo chamber? What 

John Denney: is- it’s funny you say that b- [00:22:00] because it’s the foundation. So something that Carol, my, my mentor, taught me years ago with the harmony- We all have an application in life. Yes. You and I happen to be coaches.

Brian’s a producer of a radio show. The, the people, everyone has something they do. Now, we all need a similar foundation, so we should start with gratitude and love. We should start… So what I understood was the harmony exercise, no matter what my application in life is, I need this foundation of principles.

I need to be healthy. 

I need to be in harmony with my family and friends and coworkers and everybody I’m with. 

I need to have an abundance supply. I need to have food on the table. I need to have the things I need so that I can perform at my highest level. 

Coach Fergie: Your provisions. Yeah, 

John Denney: yeah. I need this foundational belief system so that I can go function in whatever my occupation is and whatever my hobbies are, whatever I do in life.

But the foundational thoughts are all the [00:23:00] same. So we wanna attract people who are on that same level, that come from a place of love and gratitude, not people who come from confusion and anger and crime- … ridden places. So we wanna attract goodness and mercy. 

Coach Fergie: It’s funny, with coaching, there’s like a, there’s a harmonic balance to that because as a coach, you want to attract them to see if there’s something that you can pour into them, right?

But while keeping your guard up that you don’t allow that toxicity into you. But- ‘Cause I got sucked into a conversation the other day, John- And- … where I should not have. But go ahead. Go ahead. 

John Denney: That’s a different relationship, too. 

You’re talking about a client-coach relationship. I’m talking about the people, your wife, your family. Yeah. The people we’re attracting into our inner circle. Sure. The people who are around us on a daily basis. 

Not necessarily the people we’re trying to help out there in the world. 

But… 

Coach Fergie: it, if I can… i’m human, so I can get kinda sucked into negative conversations.

I’m getting a lot better at noticing it, and that’s another thing, is that with Susan- she’s a very positive [00:24:00] person, but she’ll get really invested into TV shows and stuff like that, and almost have her personality s- change. And I’ll watch, I’m like, “Listen, we’re gonna watch this, but let’s have our guard up.”

‘Cause if you look at Titanic, okay, great James Cameron movie, I get it. But if you look at it, it’s like all the rich people are jerks- … and all of the, you know, the people that are, less means, they’re downstairs drinking beer, dancing on tables, arm wrestling, having a great time. But that i- our minds are programmed also to have lack.

That lack is good. Having money, you’re a a bad person. 

John Denney: Wow. 

Coach Fergie: And that’s, that c- lot of times I find that stopping a lot of the identity of people from really reaching their potential, is how they’re programmed. 

John Denney: A- and we talked about last time we had Coach’s Corner, we’re believing the story the world’s telling us.

Yes. And it’s completely wrong. It’s an illusion. It’s a lie. And once we go away from that outer message and go back to our inner message that we are enough, a lot of stuff changes in a hurry. 

Coach Fergie: I love it. And Squad, I want you really to look at your inner thermostat. See where you’re [00:25:00] at. See the people that you’re attracting that, that, that’s in your life the, especially your core people.

They better be there to, for you to serve and to also not be afraid to ask of them. My good friend Leah Woodford would say, “Get your asking gear.” Ask of them, for things that you need to… That, and also challenge you to, to really level up. And we’re gonna do this once a month with my good friend John.

We’re gonna start bringing him in and because I find so much value out of it. It’s like a free coaching session, Squad- … but don’t tell anybody. But no, just having him in and if… Love some feedback from you. I wanna thank my awesome sauce producer Brian Mudd at WJNO. And everybody out there that’s listening, go have yourself a great weekend.

Our troops that’s doing the deed over there, please be safe. And I absolutely love your guts, Squad. Level up.