Renée Jones spent 40 years on the Diet Yo-Yo before overcoming her blocks in 2012. With a Master’s in Counseling, she now coaches and speaks. Her book is, What’s Really Eating You: Overcome the Triggers of Comfort Eating, and she has a TEDx talk with over half a million views.
When you eat for emotional reasons, it has a lot of calories
– Renee Jones
Knowledge Nuggets and Take-Aways
1. When choosing food, stay in the present moment and recognize what you are putting into your mouth. Sit and enjoy, do not eat ‘in motion’
2. Give honor to the food your eating
3. Think about the specific foods that you eat. Your got to food. If it is not good for you, think about your history with that food. Who gave it to you?
4. Deny your the lessor parts of yourself and embrace the parts that help you Level UP!
Level Up!
Fergie
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Speech Transcript (very little editing so not exact)
Renee, thank you so much for coming on. Please introduce yourself that time to shine today podcast first to spot. But first, what’s your favorite color? And why?
Green, green, followed very closely by pink but green because my hair is red. My eyes are green. And it just makes things pop.
You it’s in your color wheel for sure you’re going nice redhead, like I can see you rocking the green and making that pop. That’s fantastic. So let’s get into a little bit of this past. Like we talked off off Mike that you know, I do coach people a little bit after they go through a care for maybe some eating issues or weight issues and stuff like that. But I really want to dig into yours, and kind of really see it and hear your story and share it with our with our squad of listeners here.
Okay, well, my first diet was when I was 10. Because I looked around and that was the only redhead and don’t rag on my mother. She was trying to help me. And I looked around my little friends and they were skinny blonde brunettes. And I was the only redhead and I was the only one who was that chunky. And I thought I don’t want to be this different. It’s a bit young to be that different. So I said, Mom, can we do something? And she said, Well, you’re awfully young. But we can we can try. And that began the yo yo that lasted for all those 40 years. Because, you know, we’d start out Well, like most people, we started out well, but then something would happen. And we’d get off it. Or I get upset. And food was so soothing what it is, it just became it just became the thing to do. So you know, when you when you eat for emotional reasons. It has a lot of calories.
Wow. Wow, that’s so true. It’s so true. With emotional reasons has a lot of Kelly, let’s dig into that. Let’s open that up a little bit. If you don’t mind, Rene. So I’ve never heard that before. You know it? No, I’m actually writing that down spot. And you should too. So let’s let’s dig into that. Where was it? Is you went through with your identity shift. As you started going to these yo Yos were you like damn, I look good. I feel good. But did you ever almost have impostor syndrome? While you’re doing that, knowing that you’re just gonna go back to the down part of the yoga?
You know, I don’t think in those early years, and I would say up until I was in my 30s that I had enough confidence to ever look and say, Wow, you look good. Okay, right. I think when you have been heavy and up and down so much, it’s very difficult to see yourself. In fact, I saw a picture when I was speaking at a conference, and I was standing next to someone. And I thought well, who’s that skinny lady? And it was me and I was like, Ah, yes, I did lose the weight. I’m not the heavy one anymore. So I think it’s it’s Something that I catch myself on now and think no, you’re doing well. Well, but at that time, no, it was, I just wasn’t aware. I mean, I knew that we would eventually go back to it. And that’s part of the problem is we will leave that door open.
It is you almost go into that superhero syndrome, where and the reason why I can resonate with this because I was a really skinny kid, right, super skinny. And then I went in the military and everyone’s lifted weights, and I’m like, oh, and I was just like the joke of the weight room. It’s like, I’m proving you improving, improving you. And then I got the body that I felt I wanted. And then I started, I got out of the military, I’m like, oh, it’s all about making money now and all that with that money comes those calories of all the buttery food taking clients out, and I ballooned up to 315 pounds. So what’s funny is that I don’t see myself as in now I’m in the 240s. And I feel good. And I’m 50 years old, and I’m rocking it right. But at the time, I was, I just felt like, wait a minute, who’s that big guy in the picture? Who was a skinny dude before? You know? So I can I can totally walk that parallel just from different ends of the spectrum. If you know, I really appreciate you explaining it like that. So with that being said, Did you have a lot of family support? During this time? I heard you say your mom, was there’s some family support during these, like kind of the yo yo years, they were trying to help you stay on track.
To some degree. I mean, I think there was an element because my, my mother was heavy. Okay. Her mother was heavy. Her mother before her was heavy. And it was almost because my my grandmother had a lot of sisters and only a couple of brothers. Okay. And it was almost like competition. If you actually lost your weight and stay there. You are betraying the tribe.
Thank you for saying that. We’re standing for that. Yes. Yes. So there was almost like that crab in a bucket syndrome, right, where you’re starting the trout climb out there. Like no matter where they come back to the comfort, right? And then at the end of a pizza, hey, please, hatred. It’s more of a duty. This is uncomfortable for us.
Yeah. and be a part of us, you know, be with us. And here, here’s some take that I know you love, which I did. And no willpower being as useless as it can be. It fall right, easily, easily.
I love it. So that’s so good that we’re we are like, brothers and sisters from different misters. I’m telling you right now this is it’s crazy. So do you work with people? One on one or in group settings? Yes. That’s both. Okay, perfect. So when you meet let’s, let’s take some of your discovery period. And they’re coming to you and say, you know, Renee, I’m looking, you know, to level up and whatnot, you start that discovery period? What, if there any secret sauce of you, and I don’t mind sharing them, maybe help them find that blind spot?
Yeah, I often ask them to think about the specific foods that they eat. And you know, you, you can do an exercise where you just think what is it that I often go to? And if you think about it, you can see it, you can smell it, and you can almost taste it. That food that does it for you. Sure. And then when did you first have that? Do you remember the first time you had it? Right? And you know, they can come up with something every time. And then I asked who gave it to what was going on? Because for me, the food was peanut butter. And peanut butter is a perfectly lovely food in appropriate quantities. Sure. But I found that sometimes when I would get upset, I would be circling the refrigerator going back to the peanut butter jar. And once I worked out that, oh, that’s that connection I had to my grandmother. Because she was the one who was always supported. I never questioned whether or not she loved me. And she was so proud of me for not doing much. She was just so encouraging. And I found okay, you’re going to peanut butter to get that love and encouragement. Sure. And she’s not in that jar.
Oh my goodness. Wow. I
had had to think. Right. So how do I now get that kind of love and encouragement? Sure. In a better way, a more effective way, a way that will last for me. Not just something I swallow.
So you dig in during that period with somebody? What is their food? Yes. Oh my gosh. It’s like it’s such a kind of a rearview mirror. You know what I’m saying? It’s like you have your dashboard of your car which is the future before you take him there. You’re looking at rearview mirror, not having an actually live there, but really discover why is there to pull him for I love I love that. This
if we if we don’t find that, then it can continue to drive the car. Wow. And what’s fascinating for me is for men, oftentimes it’s ice cream, and particularly ice cream at night. And if you think about it, a lot of men played sports is children. Sure. Little League, all of that. And if you won, you went out for pizza. Absolutely. But if you lost, you went for ice cream. Or when mom and dad wanted to take you out to tell you some bad news, they usually bought you ice cream. And it’s just a reach back to that time, when you were soothed and felt cared about. Right? Even if things hadn’t gone well. So no wonder we go to those fits
right in that’s beautiful, beautiful. The way that you’re explaining this, so like I, I know that so many people have, you know, foot in the future foot in the past and they pissed all over the president right? And with your, with your program, if you will, what do you do? Because they, they say they’d see in the dashboard, what they want to become, they know where it came from, what do you do, really, to help them level up in that present?
You have to stay in it. And some of that is recognizing what is it I’m putting in my mouth. And I tell people No more eating on the run. If you are in motion, do not eat. Wow, it’s important to sit down at your table, if you can, not in front of the television, right? And be present with the food that you’re about to consume. Love that. Because if you don’t, you’ll be so distracted, you won’t enjoy it. And if you’re not enjoying your food, you may as well be eating celery, a lot fewer calories that way. And it has crunch.
Yes, yes. Wow. That’s so yeah. Because you, you get so lost in what might be on the television, or while you’re driving, just feed your because you’re doing your multitask. You could actually sit there and enjoy the food that’s coming in your mouth. It makes more sense, it can actually psychologically help that food digest a certain way to help you as well I’ve which I’ve been told, I mean, I do it. Now I slow down and I really taste my food, which I’m finding that the CGH situation. It’s like I get fuller faster when I’m not just
love because you’re in the present in the moment with that food, tasting it, experiencing it. And you don’t need as much, right? I mean, my grandmother, God lover, she made the best pies. And so often we will be sitting around the table and just going through it really fast. And then of course you get finished. You’re like, Oh, I didn’t get to taste that. I need another piece.
Right? Yes. Right. Yeah. So good. So good.
Yeah, and, Scott, this is a really good way to burst through a craving, okay. Because if you will sit down with the food, rather than eating it over the trash can. Or sink. Gotta get rid of the evidence right? up as I was craving, if you will sit down, put it on a plate or in a bowl, use the appropriate fork, knife, spoon, whatever it is you need. And just enjoy it. A you will enjoy it right be you’re giving the food the same honor that you’re giving that craving? Oh my
gosh. That is same honors craving. Wow. That’s beautiful. It and when you’re slowing down, you’re right. You just enjoy it. And if you get fuller faster, that’s amazing. So So every day, when you’re starting to work with somebody, then is there any good question that you wish they would ask you but never do?
Probably? How do I maintain my goal? Because that tells me they’re not looking for a quick fix? Yes. Or another one might be why am I so afraid of succeeding?
Wow. What do you find, with people being afraid of succeeding?
Um, very often it was taunting, or some form of abuse they’ve experienced. I know a lot of women who had various forms of sexual assault or just inappropriate behavior. Yeah. And they gained weight to build protection around themselves. I never thought
of that like even physical protection for them not just emotional where You know, if they’re abused, no one will want to touch me. But also physical protection maybe as well that they can defend themselves if need be, which all goes back to unhealthy. It’s a bad term but like something that’s just not serving them.
Right. Okay, something that’s not healed,
Renee, this is awesome. Oh my gosh, just amazingly, the knowledge nuggets you’re dropping. So speaking of that, let’s go back if you see the movie Back to the Future.
I’ve seen snippets of them. Yeah, they make fly
gets a DeLorean. He goes back in time. Right. So let’s get that joining with Marty. Okay, let’s go back to the double Deuce that 22 year old. You know, Renee Jones. I know if it was Jonestown. But Renee. What kind of knowledge nuggets? And would you drop on the 22 year old Renee, maybe the helper level up, shorten the learning curve and blast through that. So it’s changed everything, but maybe help her along her journey?
Relax, you’re doing great. And trust your intuition. It will not tell you.
Wow. Trust intuition. So once you’ve listened
Yes, I think she would have I think she would have eaten up the I Am. I’m doing great. Yay. And
no pun intended there right. Now. I got a smile.
And the intuition that she was aware, because of her faith. She was aware of that. But it was it might have been like Yeah, but it was my idea. She was surely.
Sure. Wow. That’s amazing. That’s amazing. So how do you want your dash remembered than that little line in between your incarnation that your expiration date your life date your death date? Which hopefully it’s a long way down the road? Okay, what your dash remember?
She lived, loved, enjoyed learning and loved a really good conversation.
Lived loved learn in combo that’s that’s a life well lived right there. Yeah, I think so. You’re into it. So what do you think then Renee, people misunderstand about you the boss.
How much can ya I need solitude.
Wow. Okay. So you like your time alone?
I do. One of my favorite things is if I have to take my husband to the airport. I dropped him like on a Saturday. I come home. And I don’t leave to like go pick him up the next weekend.
Oh, wow. Yeah. So you have like a week sabbatical where you just kind of dig into Rene that
dig into Renee work, things that I need concentration to do. Without all the distraction of social.
Okay, love it. I love it. And I thank you for being transparent with that. Like I will go into luckily I mean, I’m I’m looking at the Atlantic Ocean right now. And that’s my sabbatical. I go out every day I’m in the ocean seven days, we just because it’s the biggest Epsom salt feeling bath that you can get, you know, so but I have to have my 15 minutes of solitude daily. Well, my people join me every once in a while. But actually, every day he doesn’t let me go out there alone anymore. So then, what keeps me up at night?
The sort of people who are hurting that I haven’t figured out how to help yet. This she’s she’s stuck on this. What can I do to help her move from here? Even from here to here?
Is the most of your clients women, if not all?
Um, I would say 75%. Okay,
very good. So you do let them in in there a little bit? Yes. No, I feel like I thank you for doing that. So kind of let’s go back to what I said about life will live what what is your definition of life well lived.
I think it is that actually living as you’re alive and not waiting for tomorrow. I think it’s loving people as much as you possibly can. Because we can use a lot more of that. Yes. Continuing to learn. I think that’s just so important. So key.
Oh my gosh,
I’m sorry. I just love a really good conversations. I could I mean, and they don’t even have to be in person like this one. Yes.
I love it. I love it. So let’s take out of this equation. Any electronic devices that we have just across the board, what are three things and they can they can be people places or things what are three things that Renee can’t live without?
connection and relationship So, solitude and T
u i are so right there because I have prayer is like I have to have that I have to have books ready just so I can continually feed I have to have connection. And then I usually throw chicken wings and once a month minimum I can’t live without that. I love it. I love it. I love it. Time to shine today podcast. Firstly squad we are back in Renee, you and I could talk and we probably will one day which I’m speaking in Texas next or in two months. So in the Metroplex area, so maybe we could, but you and I could talk for 1520 minutes on each one of these questions, but you have five seconds to answer it, which is no explanations, and they all can be done that way. You’re ready to level up. Sure. Let’s do this. Love this. What’s the best leveling up advice Rene’s ever received?
Well listen to your intuition. Yes,
sure what of your personal habits contribute to your success?
My morning routine of walking, reading and then prayer meditation.
We are so so I always say get busy. I get up I get hydrated. I get moving and I get lit. Meaning like, you know out in the sunlight get movie and hydrated in medicine. I love it. I love it. So other than the book your book, what’s really eating you? If you see me walking down the street, you’re like, man, Fergie. Looks like he’s in his doldrums. What book might you hand me?
Beautiful outlaw by John Eldridge.
I’ve never heard it. Danny put that in the show notes, please. Okay, thank you. Awesome. What is your most commonly used emoji when you taxed?
That thing was
you even did it. I love it. I love it. So, nicknames growing up. radar. Radar. Really? I’ll let you expand on that. Why that? Why is that
the mash character? Oh really is because I would watch what people were doing. And you know, they’d be looking for tape and I would just hand it to him.
I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. So in the New Year’s resolutions
this year my news resolution was to deny the lesser parts of myself and build the good ones.
That is that is strong. That is strong. And love love. Love it. So chess checkers or monopoly.
Oh, checkers you can have a good conversation while your
monopoly gets too competitive for me in chess. I’m no good at checkers Euro you and I can have a cup of coffee and play King me. Alright, so speaking of ice cream, what’s your go to ice cream flavor?
I love vanilla. Okay, I love really do.
So there’s a sandwich named the Rene Janez. What’s on that sandwich?
Oh stacks of meat.
Yeah,
little little cheese and lettuce and
pickle. Love it. Love it. Like right there too. I have to add some man candy aka bacon.
Bacon bacon is meat.
That’s me. You’re right. You’re 100% right.
I have to say a day without bacon is a day wasted.
Yes. I love it. I love it. favorite charity and organization like to give your time or money to
my church as well as a four little lighter topic Molins hope ragdoll rescue. Oh, which is for cats.
Oh, nice. Thank you for doing I have two rescue Kitties and a rescue pity that I have. I love it. I love it. So what’s the you can expand on this one even more, but what’s the best decade of music? 60s 70s 80s or 90s 80s? Yeah, right there right there. Big hair. Don’t care. I love it. Love. I ate I cried. I did. I had the mullet. No, I can’t they can’t deny that I graduated 99. So it’s like I had that whole 10 years of of fun that decade of decadence. I guess they might call that. So Rene, let’s talk a little bit about your book, what’s really eating you please?
Okay. It’s a book. It is. It is partly my journey of how I got to losing weight, how I got to where I was and how I could lose. And then within the stories and the information. I was trying to create something that if if someone couldn’t afford coaching, sure, they could go through that and answer the questions and hopefully do their best to handle it for themselves.
Who should be picking up this book.
Anyone who is has so had it with the diet yo yo and they’ve just want to break it.
I am going to squat I’m going to do have a book giveaway which Rene has so graciously agreed to sign personally to you. For anybody that puts in yo yo into any of our comments. Whether it’s Pinterest, Instagram, LinkedIn, wherever you put if you hear this, because you’ve listened deep into our show, which you really appreciate that, if you put yo yo in there, I’ll make sure that we get a book out to time to shine today’s dime, but Miss Renee will sign it and get it rockin. So, Rene, is there anything else that you’re kind of offering our spider listeners right now with services?
Sure, I have a video that I’m offering. And it’s, it’s called the compass. And it helps you figure out how to set set your goal and get there. Wow, that’s beautiful. And that said, pack your own bag.com/friends.
Got it. Daddy, put that in the show notes, please. Thank you, brother. Renee, give me one last solid, please. And leave us with one last Knowledge Nugget we can take with us internalize and take action.
Okay, so I say it’s not hard to overcome emotional eating, you just have to get the hang of it. And hang is an acronym. So the H is, am I hungry? And if you are, you may need to go get something to eat. But if you’re not a, what is the attraction to food in that moment? The EN is need, what is it that I actually need other than food, it may be you know, just a walk around the building, it may need a hug or play with the dog or something. But what do I need in this moment, and then the G is Go Go get that because that will soothe you more than food ever possibly could.
I love it. I love it. It’s almost like a pattern interrupt that kind of gets you to leveling up. So that is the age do you say hangry?
Hungry? Well, hangry would work too, but
got it got it. I love that I love it. And squad we have literally, I was telling Renee off of Mike that I do this a lot for selfish reasons. And this, you know, for my own self to level up. And I know that she’s just leveled you up as well in that, you know that emotional eating in reasons has lots of calories into it. So go back and listen to that part. You know, like she’ll take you through, she’s a coach and consultant that listens not only with their ears, but all the other parts of her body, which I call listening with your neck, she really leans in, and she’s going to find out that specific food that you remember the most and who gave it to you and that can really be a crutch and someone like Rene can really help you get over that you know it she wants you to stay in the present moment in know what is going into your mouth at all time. And remember when you’re in motion, don’t eat and that includes sitting in your lazy boy watching TV. really sit down and be present with your food tastes your food, the satiation, Oh calm the fullness of calm but also you’re going to feel a hell of a lot better with yourself. You know? Honor the food that you’re craving, but don’t give into it at all times that the cravings are all food you know there is really no quick fix Okay, and make sure you ask someone like Renee or whatever coach it you’re going to how to maintain that goal. Alright, squat, how don’t just get there. But stay there and continue to level up from there. You know, she will tell her younger self and also want you to tell yourself no matter what age you are, that you are doing great trust your intuition. Continue to learn and if you are stuck, get your asking gear and reach out to us and I would be happy to put you in touch with Rene if there’s something you’re stuck on is emotional eating or whatnot in Rene is going to be remembered as somebody that is planted tree squad that she’s never going to sit in the shade of all right, you know, she’s lived, loved learn if she craves conversation, and I love love this last 30 minutes. You know she wants to be remember also somebody that got busy live in that got busy diet, and that’s by stealing from the Shawshank Redemption. I live my life like that as well. And it’s just I love to be aligned with my good friend Renee here. You know, that means don’t make sure you deny the lesser parts of yourself and really embrace the parts that help you level up. And it’s not hard to get something done. If you have the right person in your life in your squat in your tribe, and who you surround yourself with. And she really broke broke that down in the acronym hang which is hungry or hangry you know the attraction and what what makes you attracted to that food you probably shouldn’t have. What food do you really need to help you level up and go get that in and enjoy it and my good friend Renee, Honey, you’ve earned your varsity squad letter here at time to shine today. And humble. You’re hungry in a good way. And thank you so much. I can’t wait to collaborate with you in the future.
Thank you so so much. Thanks for having me.
You bet Talk soon much. Love your guts. Hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast, proudly brought to you by Southern New Jersey real estate A real estate excellence who can be reached at 561-249-7266 and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com Flash guest. If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcasts. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see a recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you’ve been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends how to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host, Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up it’s our time to shine
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