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Speech Transcript

0:00  

Hey this is Tanya Oliver with mental health through fitness. And if you really want to learn how to level up your life you should be listening to the time to shine podcast with my good friend Scott Ferguson. Time to shine today varsity squad to discuss Ferguson and we are Episode 144 with my great friend Tanya Oliver, from the best version of me Academy, the BM Academy. entirely a person that lives life with a passion to help others a total go giver. Again, I’m stoked for this interview because she went through a lot of adversity. She came from a family lineage of addicts and how she pushed through powered through, leveled up and now continues to pay it forward and help others do the same. So without further ado, here’s my really good friend Tanya allover. Let’s level up.

0:58  

Time to shine today barsi SWAT into Scott Ferguson and my long awaited interview with my really good friend, Tanya Oliver. She is the mental health through fitness and then she has kind of a subsidiary to that which is going to be called best version of me or B vo m all her information is going to be in the show notes. Tanya is somebody that I respect a ton. She’s all about she’s all about herself and helping herself level up. But then she’s also a go giver, a she gives till it hurts so good. Like we like to say here a time to shine today. She came from a family lineage of addicts, she struggled with addiction, mental health and suicidal thoughts. She was a liability to herself and others until she chose differently. For the last 17 years, she’s generated all of her energy on learning, creating and teaching what you liberated which he needed to liberate herself from her own self imprisonment is the bpos which I cannot wait to dig in a neck of that smile over there. So the bvm Academy was born, she created it and needed and wanted a course geared towards teaching others how to become mentally, physically, nutritionally. And strong as books. Yeah. So they can look feel and be their best selves. And Tanya, thank you so much. It’s been a long time coming. I can’t I can’t continue my excitement you’re here. Good. Could you please be so kind as to introduce yourself the time to sign today squad. But first, what’s your favorite color and why? I favorite color. For those of you cannot see me It’s red. If you can see or you can see this beautiful red hairs is a beautiful woman. If you watch it on our YouTube state YouTube channel. Yeah, she’s fantastic. So read it is and why red. Feel like, you know, your hair, your nails colors are just an expression of what you want to project out into the world. And I feel like red is just like a fierce, fiery, like, you know, like, let’s go like the way that I feel with red. So I just feel like it’s it’s like a fierceness. And there’s so much that like energy that I want to project out. I just feel like it’s a nice way to like not just noxious. But being loud, right with self expression loud and proud with that self expression. Some people will take red is like, Oh, it’s got a red streak and she’s aggressive and stuff like that. But that is 100 and thousand trillion percent. Not my friend Tanja. So today, let’s get to the origins. I’m sure you have that red streak if you need to be you know, I can too. But you struggled with a lot of different things you said kind of mental health addiction suicidal thoughts. Can we get in the origins on that? How you parlayed that up into, you know, go giver and wanting to help others level up? Absolutely. Yeah. And thank you for having me on the show it. so grateful to be here. And for everybody listening, I really appreciate your time. I feel that we all have our own personal stories, but specifically to your question. Addiction is just an attachment to something that helps us get through an intense triggered emotion. Usually, we all create some form of a relief through like pain. And what we’re taught through early childhood is, you know, either with food or alcohol or drugs or whatever substance of choice to help numb us to give us that stimulation that we crave and we just need to learn how to create a new toolbox. So everything’s about learning new tools, which I had to learn on my own because I didn’t get it through you know, early childhood development. And you know, sports I was lucky to get into sport basically ice hockey for nine years. And that really helped keep me afloat. It always like was my go to so I would you know have a fall and then I’d get back up because I had that tool to help me generate Energy and competing eventually to get me out of the dark times and also through personal training and strength training. So that’s one of many tools that was very, you know, helpful with getting me out of drowning waters. How did you get an ice hockey? Just get some from Michigan? It’s huge there. Yeah, Florida. I’m not saying it’s not because there’s a lot but you’re kind of a native here to South Florida, right? I am a native. Okay, gotcha. Well, in full, you know, transparency here, you know, we’re basically neighbors with 50 miles away, or 40 miles away, but we’re here in South Florida, but like, Hawaii, ice hockey.

5:38  

No, I have twin brothers, identical twin brothers. And I was wanting to be better than them. So I was the only girl in the family and my sisters way, way younger. So growing up, my brothers are two years younger than me. And I just always was, you know, craving attention from my parents. So whatever they did, I wanted to do and be better at, I feel like I always had to prove myself and you know, a lot of that stemmed from insecurity and not getting the proper attention. They were more troublemakers, so I had to like figure out how to get my own attention. So I got into that I played actually train a whole bunch of different sports growing up in a quit all in the girl by heavier kit. And I just couldn’t find anything that I could stick with. And there was something wrong with me. Finally, I was like, you just give me a chance to play. They played and then I played it. And I just I loved it. I love the my body just love the movement pattern. Right? Right in your bill, if you look at her Instagram, or when she’s built like a brick, so you can see the hockey really paid off powerful legs, and whatnot. So like, Was there some because I see suicidal thoughts, and a lot of my listeners know that, you know, my little brother took his life in 2009. And he really didn’t have anybody to really turn to like, did you have somebody that showed up in your life? Or that you sought out to help you get over some of these addiction hurdles? mental health hurdles? suicidal thoughts? Yeah, I think that’s a great question. Unfortunately, I didn’t, I, I did not have that. Like I said, I found anytime type of a light or love or passion will help you change your mind. And I think that like I never went into the actual, like, the thoughts were there. But then I was like, What if I choose to live like really live, not just be alive, but live? What if I chose to incorporate something that made me feel good today that made me like, feel like I wanted to show up in my life today. And then what really, really helped me Scott was being of service to others. You know, when you help others, you create an innate fulfillment, like your heart feels full. So the more that I started, I’m like, Wait a second, okay. So I just helped that person was really good, what did I help them do? And then that gives you purpose in life. You know, if you can make all this money, you can be successful on the outside. And there’s so many people that I work with, I’ve worked with anywhere from pro athletes to celebrities, who are the treatment centers, and it just a whole fan like top CEOs, multi billionaires, and it’s like, they still have that emptiness. And like, why are you doing any service work? No. So there’s a common thread when you when we’re a service to others, that fills our soul and gives us purpose? Well, I started that’s really what it happened kind of by accident. And then I was like, it kind of ended up being like a, like a, you know, build that momentum as I go, I have a purpose here to be a service. So yeah, you didn’t say like love or passion that can help change your mind. So is that what showed up is you started saying, Okay, I’m gonna give and help. And that really kind of pulled you out of lack of a better term, the doldrums that you were kind of going through is that what really helps, you know, like your pass. I mean, it comes in layers. So I think the first thing is, I created a fan and it just feel good today. And a lot of people when they’re coming out of like addiction, stuff like that, they just focus on today. Because when you’re when you’re living in the past, a lot of people are in a dark space of depression, when people are living in the future, they have a lot of anxiety and worry, but when you learn to really be present and just focus on today, it gives you peace of mind, the more peace of mind can build on the more like you find happiness and joy. So it definitely came in layer and then also my belief system and God and you know, the finding just things like to look forward to my day and feel good about into, you know, bring that fulfillment. So but definitely having that path finding things that make you feel good and happy and passion.

9:34  

Love it. Love it. So can you what makes a great coach than

9:38  

somebody who actually cares about people, continuing growth and education, paying attention to detail which we had this conversation earlier about? It’s a small thing, but like actually taking care and constantly growing the becoming a lot of people become like, great, and then they stop growing. Sure, and they stopped caring. So It just constant evolution and growth, paying attention to people caring, um, mastering your craft. I mean, there’s so many components, being in your lane referring out building a solid network of people and a community as well, but love it. Yeah, we help others too. Sometimes you’re not the right horse for the course for a coach. So you might have another connection. Like we have time to shine today where connection carousel, if you will, to be able to put the right person with the right needs. So absolutely. If I’m out networking, then and we’re allowed to do it a little bit here in South Florida. In pressin, flash meeting people, what is what am I hearing, when I’m talking to somebody that would be a good prospect contact connection or referral for for tenure, or to be vln. I mean, I would feel anybody. So I broke it down. I don’t know how I listen to a lot of your podcasts and stuff. But it comes down to a really deep, deep, deep thread. And it might sound weird to people who aren’t. But that’s fine, because they’re not great. But for me, heavy empaths people that feel really hard, because a lot of them don’t know how to generate their energy may do end up getting themselves into faces, they don’t necessarily want to be in people who maybe have had issues with the root chakra. So they don’t have the need to work on their inner child like inner child work, people that haven’t really built that foundation, and they’re still seeking how to really take care of that need. And then anyone who really just wants to look, feel and show up in their business and life as their best self, you know, their most authentic best self was waiting for that I knew that you’re gonna say that little inner inner thread does all refer out to people, not everybody wants to look good. It’s going to be in my, in my realm, right? Absolutely. Absolutely. Like we say, Here, again, is the right portion of the course. I mean, we got to it’s got to match up. So you’re bringing somebody in and you’re in the discovery period, what’s the secret sauce, then that you use to help them find their blind spots? You find out you’re a fit, you’re working forward? What’s the secret sauce for that?

12:11  

Um,

12:13  

there’s a lot of people, surprisingly, Scott that say they want to change and they don’t. So within a couple minutes of a conversation I can pinpoint. This is what I mean about empath, like you have to combine your intuition with also words because a word means nothing without the energy behind it. I’m very, very big on being intentional, deliberate and purposeful for what we say and what we do. And so if i can tell right away that some people either aren’t ready for change, they’re scared of change, or they really don’t want to change and they’re there for the wrong reason. So when I asked her in questions, I’m able to tell right away so you really wholeheartedly from your soul have to truly want to change and be able to, to go through the pain in order to find that liberation and freedom and growth. Love it. Love that. So. So if you listen to a couple of my shows, which I really appreciate that you’ve did, so is there when you’re starting to work with somebody? Is there any good question that you wish they would ask you, but never do as you’re getting started? Dialogue? I’d heavily believe in dialogue, not monologue. So typically, the questions kind of come about within within it, I think the the main question, if somebody were to ask is, usually everybody wants to hear why I’m qualified to give them that information. They want to hear my story, usually, because the biggest thing as you know, Scott, coaching people, trust is of the highest value, somebody’s not going to trust you. They’re not going to go all in with this type of work of self development. And really anything you have to really wholeheartedly trust your coach. Because if the person hasn’t been able to get the change that they want or get to that level up, like you say that they want to get to, they haven’t yet developed trust within themselves. So you don’t trust yourself. And we trust that you’ve made the right decision to hire the right person. And that’s where you got to kind of combination, in a combination of like your gut instinct with like, also logic or reasoning or whatever you need to do love that love that. Like, you gotta once you get started in my clients knows that there’s protocol and there’s the process. I mean, we kind of get through the discovery, and it’s just like, Okay, you got to trust me because I’m going to get there just like me, I have two coaches, a mindset coach, and and basically life coach and I try put all of my trust in them, you know, because they know how to push my buttons. They know how to, you know, make me tick. So that’s fantastic. You said that so, you know, then you know about the DeLorean and getting in with Marty McFly and let’s go back to the 22 year old Tanja? And what kind of knowledge nuggets are you going to drop on her to help her maybe shorten the learning curve level up at that age. Yeah, so the biggest thing that I’ve had to that I would say to my 22 year old self is this my mentors with speaking is Lisa Nichols. And she says something so profound the other day she said you have to be willing to die. Like your ideas, your thought process to let those go. And yoga we call that a segment of like Shavasana where a side of you dies so that you can have a reawakening and a rebirth. And that’s where we hold we want to hold on to thoughts, ideas and patterns through attachment we can even be addicted to old emotions and patterns. So be okay with allowing certain things to die so that you can really step into your full potential

15:47  

love that

15:48  

that is I give credit

15:50  

where credit’s due Lisa Nichols said that she’s my my speaking you know mentor so when that is said with this vasana through yoga, which you know, I practice Ashtanga it’s always at the end of my practice Yeah, so that’s on my bag we call a court I call it corpse pose so your that’s true because you’re you’re letting a part of yourself die so you can rebirth into leveling up better using my terminology. Right? Yeah, that is Oh, and if you think about the butterfly analogy think about it a caterpillar has to die to become a butterfly. Well, nation, you know, like so it looks for the little lakes for the Lino joke round people like oh, there’s nicer animals, the butterfly, you know, ascension. So how can we truly ascend their payments we have to truly let go of letting go is also that it’s attachment. Like all that intense, but it’s, that’s fantastic. So can you what is tell us something that people misunderstand about you the most? Miss understanding I can also let that too because there’s, as you know, I’m sure a lot of people listening is judgment is a huge, huge indication so we’re constantly being judged all the time. Right So getting back to your question on that I feel that because of my hair color, the way that I present myself or maybe my age when I go into like corporate speaking or building out a doing overhauls with corporations and their wellness program, or I come into like, say, an outpatient program. You have to just I mean trust takes time so I think the biggest thing is like to not get caught up in what people think about me I know that you said that because you know we live here at time to shine today with the duality one I don’t like I as long as I have not wronged anybody disrespected anybody and I tell my clients is to don’t if as long as you don’t wrong disrespect or hurt them I don’t give a shit what you think about me I could care less with the duality of that so I’m going to help as many people along the way as you have stay focused. Why am I here? Why am I showing up and just keep all your energy geared towards that because that was something that held me back for so long. I know that was something that usually asked in here was something that that holds you back and for many years I was so caught up in generating my energy on like saying the right thing or caring about what people thought and it was taking away from what I’m here to do love it and how other people interpret it interpret it but a few people are those the many people that I help hunger money It is like that’s what I’m here for. So that’s really what matters. Go love it. I love it. So what’s the the BI you’ve been a lot in your young life so what’s the big thing that you really want to accomplish so there’s this is another thing that I’m going to share that where it comes into becoming there’s never an end and the biggest thing right now that I’m stepping into this version of myself and expecting into his IP like international speaker best selling author so right now I’m in the process stages I’m writing I write every week and it’s going to be a best seller. There I can hit many people and also in October I’ll be speaking for a big Expo for human resources to do more incorporate online incorporate the V vol which is the best version in the academy into companies and corporations where that covers food exercise and overall self care life skills, habit behavioral reframing. So love is

19:33  

becoming

19:34  

I love it that you take the inch by inch it’s a cinch, you know, analogy that we use here and you know by the yard it’s hard you’re taking it as it comes but you’re taking it

19:45  

you know,

19:48  

drives and ready to go we got to rock Trust me. I’m my next book is called the regurgitation and all I am is agitating everything I’ve learned from people like you and other people. So I mean, but it goes back I mean, Tony Robbins. regurgitates Jim Rohn regurgitates Earl Nightingale all the way back to Marcus Aurelius. So, we all do. We all do. We just said, I put my friggin spin on it, you know what I’m saying? Yeah. So if like how do you want your dash remembered them that little line between your incarnation date in your expire ation date? How? How there’s another rhyme anyways? How do you want that remembered your epitaph your legacy some form of an imprint in the world, you know, if somebody hope, a chef, a somebody’s a better parents, because they have the right tools. I’m just a tool provider I give people new tools to, to live a better life. So that you know, because when you feel better about yourself, you’re going to project that energy. When you you know, you feel good, you’re going to do good. And you know, people who are unhappy doing happy things, people that are sad, create more sadness. So the more that somebody can take full responsibility with self and a self care coach. First ownership, I’m responsible for everything in my life and everybody that I’ve attracted into my life, and therefore, you know, so making some portable some form of a little fence that I made this rope better before I left. Wow, that’s solid. Taking responsibility. Fantastic. So what’s three things that 10 you can’t live without?

21:26  

Water and sleep?

21:29  

How important sleep to you.

21:30  

Okay, very important sleep. just wrote I wrote write newsletters every Monday at 8pm I’m not getting these I gotta get on that I got to get and I wrote a correlation between mental health because all companies new model is mental health or fitness was starting my process very soon. We women delayed because of something but it’s coming. So

21:56  

pretty much I just forgot what we were talking.

22:00  

Like, handed down the throttle or what do you want to talk about? Um, yeah, so really impacts everything sleep. When I work with somebody. It’s the first first thing that we started out by looking at night routine, so you have better quality sleep so that you can function operated everything. It really affects our mental health. It really really does put my sleep like I do my workout. Like everybody recovers. It’s when the body recovers, repairs restores. We’re able to reprogram our subconscious. I mean, there’s so many things that have to happen. Right? It’s like taking a dead phone. Your phone is dead. What are you gonna do with the dead phone and plug your phone into the charger? Your sleep is your charger. Love it. Love it. So what’s a is Tanya’s definition of a life well lived.

22:51  

fulfillment, happiness, joy.

22:57  

Love it.

22:59  

Beautiful.

23:00  

So I mean different things to different people does.

23:04  

Like we talked about exercise the other day, right? What makes my body feel good. Like you might be like, this is boring. It’s boring. I’m doing this you know? For me, I’ll go salsa dancing or rollerblading. It’s amazing. Like I’m not doing that. I’m gonna go toe to toe keep boxing or Right, right. fulfilled. Yeah, we’ll have that salsa dance office. I’m ready to rock girlfriend. We’re going to as we wind things down here a little bit. Tanja? We got to leveling up lightning round. So we got five or six questions we got you have five seconds to answer no explanation. Iraq. quick answer like, bam. No explanation. Hey, Paul. That’s it. Man. What’s the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received? Love it. Sure one of your personal habits that contributes to your success. of it’s so not the book you’re reading now. Not the book you’re writing not the flavor of the month. What’s that one book? If I’m in the doldrums and you’re like Fergie, read this lovely, like mindset travelers gift by Andy Andrews or the go giver by Bob Berg. What’s that book?

24:14  

conversations with God?

24:16  

Oh, that. Okay. I don’t know who writes it. You know. There’s three people in dialogue. I have it on audiobook. Let me pick it up. But it’s not it’s Yeah, it’s a Neale Donald Walsch. Okay, read by Edward Asner and Ellen, for something. It’s, it’s not anything that you would think about. It’s not religion. It’s just about understanding. You know, especially if you’re interested in developing that relationship with your highest self. God. Put that in the show notes, folks. What’s your most commonly used emoji? The Purple Heart, the person I love people moistening Purple Hearts or the no this Also the sky. Okay. A little salsa. Yeah. I’ve got a couple from you. Alright, so physically not mentally wisdom wise but physically what age would you stay if you could for the rest of your life?

25:15  

I love eating.

25:16  

Okay, fair enough. So Hollywood or sports star, hollywood superstar sports or a sports star

25:24  

with the most traffic?

25:28  

I’m a sports star guy. Nope. Forget Hollywood favorites. favorite charity and organization you’d like to give your time and or money to boys and girls. Beautiful. And last question. What’s the best a decade of music 6070s 80s or 90s 80s? I’m an 80s Baby Care don’t care. Love that grew up in 80s. Myself, can you How can we find you? Right now? Everything’s being rebuilt. So I would say just email me till everything’s up and remodels. Construction. So it’s Tanja at m HTF. I’m sorry. Yeah. Mental health through fitness. wellness calm. So TF wellness, calm. I will put that all in the show notes. Can you leave us with one last Knowledge Nugget you want us to take with us internalize and take action on?

26:21  

Just feel good today?

26:24  

Yeah, I love that.

26:27  

Painful, you know,

26:28  

it got me through so much, so much. And I will always go back to that just feel good today. Okay, you know, in squad time is remind us of a lot of things. I mean, I have a boatload of notes from my good friend here that I’m going to use moving forward with some of my sessions. But you know, she reminds us to live life with a passion and to help others do the same to help others create in the Nate fulfillment, and a full heart, you know, focus on today build happiness and joy and I’m going to go back to finances essential. You don’t have to have it all at once. You know, live today. That’s what she said Be happy today. Okay, she wants she was a coach that cares. She’s a coach for growth and coach for communication. She’s intentional, deliberate and personal, purposeful with her words, which you could see that as it came out. She reminds us that, you know, each day kind of like a part of us will die, but it’s just setting the stage for a rebirth into something great. So stay present, stay connected, and always, always level up and progress. So she minds us also to take responsibility and we had time to shine too. They always say the actual meaning of the word is in the word responsibility, which is the ability to respond. So just take responsibility for all your actions, and live your life with fulfillment, happiness and joy. And that’s what my good friend Tanya does. And I’m so happy and humbled that you came on you level it up your healthy level up your wealth, and I am so so grateful for you part of our time to shine today. varsity squad, you can’t go anywhere. Thank you. You’re welcome. Talk soon, Tanja. Oh, hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast, probably brought to you by Southern Nugent real estate real estate excellence, who can be reached at 561-249-7266 and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com slash gust. If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcasts. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see a recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you’ve been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating until your friends have subscribed while you’re at it. I’m your host Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up it’s our time to shine.

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