But man, she promoted so much more than that. And I’m so blessed that she did. I’m so immensely grateful to call her a friend and somebody that I look up to in the authoring world. So without further ado, here is the author of Crossroads, Ms. Rhonda Parker-Taylor let’s level up.

Time to shine today podcast [00:01:00] varsity squad This is scott ferguson and I have some midwest love some midwest flavors of somebody that I Respect immensely in the book writing part of life. My good friend, Rhonda Parker Taylor, who is an American writer on schmear and academic researcher. And what’s nice is she has this really awesome sauce, highly ranked rated book crossroads.

And, but she’s, , in her past, she was kind of an educator. And I think that a lot of this was, we’re going to, when we get into talking, I think that Ms. Rhonda is some of this that’s written in the crossroads might’ve been parts of her life as well. And different pieces and characters that we were talking about off the mic.

So I cannot wait to dig into it. And Rhonda, thank you so much for coming on. Please introduce yourself. The time to shine today, podcast varsity squad, but first what’s your favorite color and why?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Yellow,

L. Scott Ferguson: yellow,

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: yellow. The reason I love yellow is it’s bright. It’s cheery. It’s the sun. It’s the moon.

Anything that comes in some form of [00:02:00] yellow.

L. Scott Ferguson: I love it. And I love your energy. It’s like Squad, if you’re watching on Vimeo or YouTube, she’s absolutely stunning. But her energy and everything is just brightens up everything. So she’s already making my day better. So thank you, Rhonda.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Thank you for, and I’m so glad to be here and I can’t wait to get, dive in deep discussion, not only about both of our writing experiences, but Hey, , there are others right now in their car.

I know there is. There’s a person out there that listens to you all the time.

L. Scott Ferguson: I love it.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: And they’re thinking, I want to write a book. And they keep saying it to themselves. And they keep saying it to themselves. And they haven’t put it into action. One page a day, and it’s done in a year. I

L. Scott Ferguson: love that you just said that.

And that great segue. What is most people’s blind spots to not writing that book?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Fear of vulnerability.

L. Scott Ferguson: If they put

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: it down on paper, somebody might not like it. Who cares? , if you put it [00:03:00] down, If you’re the only one that liked it, you did something that everybody else didn’t do.

L. Scott Ferguson: I love it. And what has two thumbs and it has fear of vulnerability with his book?

This guy. Right here. That’s me. So, say that again. You write down something. You just made a huge point I interrupt you what did you say right there with you put something down That’s for you because I definitely want to remember this.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: It’s it’s for you I wrote five books put it in a closet didn’t do anything with it until my sister said what are you gonna do something with?

Those things.

L. Scott Ferguson: Oh, I didn’t I had no idea

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Yeah, and so now it’s okay. Let’s get serious. I got crossroads out there Yeah, what it was for me first. It was my Evaluation, my self awareness, my going in and meeting these, these characters and what I wanted to tell about these characters. So, even though they’re not me, there’s a piece of me in [00:04:00] every single one of the characters.

I

L. Scott Ferguson: was, you were stealing my questions, Rhonda. I was wondering that. You were stealing them, because I was wondering, because, again. I’m going to read it on my flight to Nashville tonight. I promise you it’ll be read between there and back to South Florida here. But I was wondering, because there’s so many different characters that we talked about off mic, okay.

But the janitor and stuff like that, but there’s also just kind of this lady Paris and reevaluating life and stuff like that. I just was wondering how much is that actually of the woman that I speaking to you right now?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I think they all are.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yeah.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Because see, when I was young. I always, I always said, Oh, I’m out of balance.

I’m not, , doing everything I can. I’m not doing my, my being my excellent person. So I would take a road trip and I’d get all the self help books together. And then by the end of this road trip to the West coast in my car, I’d have this whole new plan for myself of what I wanted to be, do, be [00:05:00] accomplished, et cetera.

And I realized that when I did that. And then when I was writing, I, the first book, I made everybody out of balance and I was like, Oh, well, there’s my back story.

L. Scott Ferguson: Things

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: happen to you when you’re out of balance, you lose relationships, you, so even though they’re not me,

L. Scott Ferguson: they

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: are people I know, they’re witnesses of things, things that could have happened like Billy Nichols.

He’s a character that’s the co defendant for the murder of a 15 year old girl. That’s how the story starts. Wow.

L. Scott Ferguson: Okay.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Guess what? He has to decide, does he turn on his friend and become a rat? Or does he take the charge with him? How many of us have gotten in a car with someone that’s been drinking and driving and shouldn’t have gotten in there?

L. Scott Ferguson: Unfortunately me.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: How many of us have made decisions based on not knowing [00:06:00] who the people that are around us really are and it could have gone terribly wrong?

L. Scott Ferguson: Right,

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: so we all have every single one of the characters that I developed could have been us at some point How many of us are a workaholic and work too hard at different times in our lives?

Maybe we want to buy a house. So we’re working extra hours, or maybe we’re starting our own business So we all get out of balance sometimes so they could need me it could be you Anybody in our inner circles.

L. Scott Ferguson: I love that you bring up balance because to me, okay, and this is my opinion, and when I’m coaching my clients, I, I, I look at balance as kind of junk.

It’s like you put 10 pounds here, 10 pounds there, and then you’re just, even Steven, right? Where I’m a big believer in Har Harmony, which my book that’s coming out is called Harmonic Cuss, right? Where like if I love jazz, so if I go and watch a jazz band and I say, okay, God or spiritual is the drums, personal growth is the piano.

Family is the the horns on and down different instruments between [00:07:00] community work money living environment fun and recreation like those different pillars of life If one of them’s out of tune, it doesn’t sound good But if we can just tune it up and i’m not saying you have to be beethoven Or eddie van halen or anybody like that, but we can bring that harmony Back into our life and that’s just where I just kind of feel with If because a lot of my coaching clients will come to me with one thing one week and another thing the next week, right?

So if we can just build harmony around that and I love that I can’t wait Like I literally just bought the kindle like while you were talking right now so I could hop on there tonight and get to reading so the with having those five Books that were in your closet. I believe you said your sister’s like what’s going on here?

Other than the fear of vulnerability like what was it? It kind of But it was, I understand the fear of vulnerability, but was there more to it than that, that kept him in the closet? [00:08:00]

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Oh, definitely. , we can come up with all kinds of reasons not to walk into our own purpose. It could be life that’s hit, , right after I wrote it, my adopted son was shot and killed.

He was at work and, , I had to go through that trauma of the knock on the door, the police showing up. It’s almost like after I wrote, wrote the novel. Some of the things that was experienced in the novel, I had to go through. So I think that every time in our, our lives, we step into the purpose of our, our season after we’ve gone through enough.

That were ready. So here I put them in the closet didn’t do anything with it Well, I had a traditional publisher that had said let’s do crossroads That’s what motivated me for all the other ones But then they pulled out of the deal after two two years here We are working [00:09:00] on it for two years and then boom

L. Scott Ferguson: they bail

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: on track

L. Scott Ferguson: Wow So

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: heartbreak, pain, anything, our own, our own lives being too busy, our own vulnerabilities, all of those things stop us from leveling up.

L. Scott Ferguson: Love it. Yeah, I mean, that’s so true. , I have to ask you, like, and I’m not saying anything about your, about your adoption, which I’m very sorry to hear. My condolences. I’m so sorry. But like when you’re writing these characters and, and again, we know how the reticular activating system works, right?

, where, , what we say and think about, we kind of start to bring about, right? Do you think that Things have happened to you, well, the reason why I’m asking this is because it’s happened to me developing characters in my book, okay? Mm hmm. Do you feel that you’ve manifested anything, whether good or bad, through the characters that you’ve developed from pen to paper?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: [00:10:00] I, I absolutely believe that everybody when they’re in tune to their world and they’re self aware whether you’re writing like so my process and writing is I use a medical or a reason my research background to write my characters. So I, for very first thing, okay, what was their medical history? It’s called a soap note is what our doctors do.

And you go through and you go through your whole history. What did their parents die of? What did ? And you go through that. And then I do a DSM five. Analysis, which is the mental health assessment.

L. Scott Ferguson: Okay. And

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I say, okay, this person has anxiety. This person has emphysema. So then I know what their behavior is going to be when they’re in the room.

But as you’re, because then I really know my characters. And so, yes, I think it’s part of that whole universe as you’re writing. You’re also becoming more spiritually aware in [00:11:00] yourself of your own thoughts, your own feelings, things that could have happened. I’ll give you another example. We talked about the importance of stories.

They told me when I, when I was going to all the classes and conferences about, , how do you write the best selling story. Who done it? Thriller. They said your first chapter has to reel them in and pull the person in for reading. So my first chapter starts with a with a young boy that’s found a dead body.

Well, , as I was exploring that, when I was younger, there was a period of time where I was working alone and a person pulled a knife on me. And luckily, happened to me, but it allowed me to explore the what if, what if I been killed? What if I had been dropped, , on the side of the road? [00:12:00] What would what would have been the difference in the police showing up?

And then I rode with the police and and kind of did the research there. And I came up with this model of They would be people that are seasoned at finding the behavior, , and being nor this being a normalized and then the ones that would never, , that haven’t experienced this and how do men get through that or please get through it.

So, when doing that, I realized I was also exploring my own. Maybe issues, problems, thoughts,

L. Scott Ferguson: you

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: know, challenges,

L. Scott Ferguson: right? , kind of

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: things. Yeah, explored it in an in a safe environment, but also in a creative environment. Because that never happened to me. It was, , it’s clearly a fiction.

Everything about Crossroads is a fiction except for the sites of Indianapolis. The sites you’ll recognize. City mall, the [00:13:00] mayor’s office, the city county building holiday park, and the dead bodies found on the west side close to the Indy 500 behind Lafayette Square and on the railroad tracks. So people can draw in.

These are people that I relate to. These are people that I know. Or maybe, hey, , I would like to go see the circle one day.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yeah,

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: yeah, see, see what what it’s like or how. Where they brought the pillars in the early 1900s from New York and put them up as, as a monument. So my goal in that is, yes, to not only manifest what’s going on with me today, or maybe in the past, but also it makes you manifest.

What your world is like. Yes, your outlook and it changes you. Yeah, every chapter. It changes.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yeah,

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: every chapter Yeah,

L. Scott Ferguson: that’s amazing. So thank you for validating what I was thinking when I [00:14:00] was kind of writing this. It’s kind of cool that I actually have Everything take place in Palm Beach, Florida, which there’s so much drama in Palm Beach, right?

I mean from Mar a Lago up to Jupiter, but every single thing Every single place. I actually went to the places and wrote the chapters at the places, , and it was that that’s cool. So I’m, I’m doing what a veteran writer does like yourself. So I feel good now that I did that.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: You’re doing the right things.

And the other thing that’s really fun about that, when the, when you think, what the story is, you’ve written it all out and you think, like, I thought it was going to be about the injustice in the legal system and I had it and it’s in there. That’s, that’s in there, but then. Characters took over because you’ve gotten so good at knowing how they behave.

And you’re like, Oh, they wouldn’t do that. They would this, and then they lead you to a totally different thing. And it, and for me, it made me explore three emotions that [00:15:00] people go through when they commit a crime, anger, fury. And we all know we are not at our best when we’re showing any of this. So the characters go through this.

They’re thrown in this room to, for the trial. And things start happening to the jurors. There’s anger, fury, and envy that shows up. And what they say in Proverbs. Anger is cruel. Fury is overwhelming. But who can stand before jealousy? Envy makes the bones rot.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yes. It’s 100%. What is that? Is that Proverbs 22?

Yeah. It’s funny when you say Proverbs. There’s 31 chapters in Proverbs. And so, I read a chapter a day. Because there’s 30 to 31 days in a month, , February, obviously I have to double up a couple of days to make sure the whole book gets read. But that’s why I love it when it’s King David and, Hezekiah [00:16:00] and , everybody else that’s in there, , reading from it’s a beautiful wisdom, , so that’s okay.

So cruel, overwhelmed and rot envy is right. Okay. So for the. The aspiring writers out there writer’s block, okay? We get it, right? I mean, I’ve literally shoved my book, what’s in my computer? Buried it in a file somewhere just because I’m like, ugh, get out of here. What tips might you have for aspiring writers that might face writer’s block?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I put a place, place mark on that page. It could be New information here. I need to do this I just put something there and either I go to another scene and then go back to it I use music to put on that puts me into the mood of it So if it’s a , a depressive feel or maybe it’s the doors or Then you’re maybe it’s a heartbreak.

You’d put on love stop. It’s happy love. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

L. Scott Ferguson: [00:17:00] Thank you for saying this. Yes

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: You put on, for me, like, one of the hardest things for me to do was the, the dispatch call. How do people sound when they call in a call?

L. Scott Ferguson: Did you call 9 1 1? I’m kidding.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I hope what I should have known. I, I, I

L. Scott Ferguson: look at

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: those apps where you can listen to 9 1 1 calls.

And I just sent one after another, after another, after another, until I realized. All of them kind of had the same pattern,

,

there’s kind of a break in the voice. There’s a kind of a stutter typically and then, , and so I was able to get through that scene. So you just try different tools until you find the one that gets you through it.

Reading, you can put whodunthrillers on, you can watch I survived, . Anything and then all of a sudden your mind starts clicking and you expect it at the worst opportunity You’re gonna be at dinner. You’re gonna be like, hmm

L. Scott Ferguson: [00:18:00] Do

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: this and that would solve the whole problem. I text myself then So then I don’t lose the can’t, , always b it’s that breakthrough.

I to yourself.

L. Scott Ferguson: Love it. I do I take notes. If I was to and I’d be like, I need t taylor, , I’d be , you can actually schedule your texts now. So be like, so they all show up at like 8 p. m. at night, , so I can remind myself of that. So what I’m hearing a lot about, like hearing, , from a professional like yourself, so if you kind of hit that block.

Set the tone, set the mood. That’s one way you can do it. Or you can move to maybe another chapter where you’re having some creativity and do it and then come back to that. Is that what you’re saying? Just keep going is what you’re saying, right?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Just keep going one page a day

L. Scott Ferguson: and

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: it’s done in a

L. Scott Ferguson: year.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: 100 percent That’s one page, double space, 250 words.

It’s done in a year. Some days you’ll get on a roll and you’ll do three [00:19:00] pages. But if you can at least do one page a day, it’s done in a year. There’s not very many novels out there that are more than 365 pages. There’s

L. Scott Ferguson: not, and they’re saying now that they shouldn’t be that long anymore. Yeah,

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: because people, people, their attention span’s shorter.

L. Scott Ferguson: There you go.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: So Because people are so into the internet and the quick videos and stuff like that. So they want something quick, easy, and out.

L. Scott Ferguson: Right, 100%, 100%. So do you use so I use living writer I did I tried the other ones, Scrivener and stuff like that. I was able to kind of whiteboard and like I’m talking about software I was just wondering if you use software like I use living writer because I could develop My characters and put them like I’m like a post it note literally on the screen, right?

I just be able to move through through my creativity And again, it’s very vulnerable here, coming up come out Do you use anything like any kind of software or anything like that that maybe aspiring writers might lean into?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I used to use a [00:20:00] storyboard program where you could do that, but anymore, what I do is I just create a big, large whiteboard, put, , pictures.

I go shopping for their clothes. I

L. Scott Ferguson: love you. I wish I could show you

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: something. , one of the fun things about, , being an adult is you can go looking at houses and you don’t have to buy, right?

L. Scott Ferguson: Right.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: So I’ll go look at, I’ll look at housing plans. So I know, okay, they had, this is a two bedroom house.

It has an upstairs, downstairs, and I’ll just plop the, the Zilla link somewhere. So I know what, in what, and then I don’t make mistakes because you’re not going to remember every characteristic of your characters. Unless you have some way of remembering, so same thing if I’ve diagnosed them with anxiety, all I got to do is go to the DSM five manual and say, okay, the six characteristics of someone with anxiety is this, this, this, this, this.

And I know what the six, , characteristics are and I know how their, [00:21:00] how their body’s going to function as soon as they get in a room and there’s something that’s going to give them anxiety, breathing, , like in crossroads, one of the older guys has emphysema. So, , they have that labor breath, , that you can hear the hissing sound when they’re walking, so you can, it’s very, and then when you get to where, , the characters like that.

And you’ve shopped, and what they’re gonna wear, what their style is. Right. You don’t get the writing block as easy. Because you can start describing the room. Same thing with picking locations or homes and stuff like that. Because you’re, oh, they’re walking into the kitchen to get a snack.

, whatever it might be. And the phone rings. So then you, you can kind of start describing the room. You might cut part of it.

L. Scott Ferguson: Okay. Yeah.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Yeah. Like I know I was hungry at one scene because I had the police officer at Golden Corral and I described everything on the buffet. , I didn’t, [00:22:00] I’m going back reading.

I’m like, why is there three to four pages of food? Nobody likes food that much.

L. Scott Ferguson: Right.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: This

L. Scott Ferguson: is gold to me. Like with, and I know it is to my listeners too that are aspiring writers as well. Like over here, I can’t really turn the camera on, but I have. Like I have that stuff you can put on the wall that looks like a wall, but you can write on it.

And so I actually, when I get a something, instead of opening up my, , phone or something, I literally write it there. But I also make sure that it always goes into my living writer before I go to bed. But it’s just as ideas hit and also I’m hearing like, like my, my superpower is curiosity, right?

Right. And that’s where I’m really curious. That’s what makes me a coach that cares. And so while you’re developing these characters, if you come up into maybe a stall on a development on them, if you just get more curious, like you said, go to a house and see how it’s laid out, or something. Curiosity’s gotta be huge, which I’ve never thought of it like this until you just saw this, said this.[00:23:00]

Curiosity is pretty huge when it comes to authoring a book, correct? Especially a, a fiction slash , kind of parable, right?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Yeah. What do you know about your characters? What do you know about their lives?

L. Scott Ferguson: What do you know more about?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: You know more about, , what did they do in their spare time?

What did they think about in their private thoughts? What is the lies verse do? And, , like Billy Nichols when he’s. He’s sitting there realizing that he was on a drunken drunk stupor the night before that went wrong and he’s sitting there saying the police are going to show up eventually and he starts, , rocking and, , banging his head against the wall of his bedroom.

And then he has, then he realized he’s hungry and he goes in there and being a he’s a single man in his own place, has ketchup and beer in his refrigerator with a stale pizza that looks like an experiment.

L. Scott Ferguson: Right.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: We know these people.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yes. Yeah.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: You should know your characters like that.

L. Scott Ferguson: Love it. Love it.

Because I use, [00:24:00] okay, so when I go to a networking event, , I like to go out, meet people, cross flash, see who I can serve, right? And what I was taught when I was younger from my mentor, Sam, is To use the Ford acronym F. O. R. D. And if I’m talking to you, like, I’m more interested in knowing your story than telling you mine.

Okay. That’s just something I’ve always been good again. Curiosity, but I, what I started doing with my characters is I use the exact same thing I did in networking. So if I was to meet you. Ford is Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams, right? Being from the Motor City, Detroit, kind of fits, right? So, if I was to meet you, it’s like I’d ask about your family, occupation, recreation, and dreams, and immediately I’d go outside and I’d write you a thank you note, because I’ll hopefully get your business card, and I’ll mail it to you, because that’s a lost art, it’s a thank you note, and I do that all the time, it sets the stage, a lot for coaching clients or referrals.

But I’m just thinking now, if you get stuck, dig into the Ford, like what else don’t about their family, their occupation, their recreation, their dreams, right? [00:25:00] You are opening me up so much, Miss Rhonda, are you kidding me right now? You have to look

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: at it that even one sentence

L. Scott Ferguson: on

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: that, on that, , one of those areas holds the, the audience.

to understanding the mindset of the character. It doesn’t matter if, , if it’s something about the way a family member died, or the way they raised them, like, like Dave, the Law and Order guy, he’s walking and he’s had this encounter with a with a beautiful woman and he’s walking through this circle city to go back to work and he stops and he thinks about his grandfather

L. Scott Ferguson: and

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: how he used to tell him the importance of law and the constitution and the building of the circle was, , was, was because they wanted to celebrate the history of, of Indiana Hoosier.

Well, what you’re doing then is you’re telling [00:26:00] people about their motivations, their desires, their feelings, their upbringing, and they don’t even, they, they, they realize that this is, , like you said, the Ford model. Really?

L. Scott Ferguson: Yeah. Love it. That’s, that’s amazing. So I have to, have you seen the movie back to the future?

Yes. Okay. It’s literally 40 years old now, you know what I’m saying? Like this year, 1985, it came out. Right. So let’s get that jewelry with Marty McFly. Okay, let’s go back to the double deuce the 22 year old Rhonda Mm. What would nuggets we call ’em here at time, Deshane, what kind of knowledge nuggets might you drop on her?

Not to change anything. Okay. Let’s not change anything ’cause, but to maybe shorten a learning curve or blast through into something you really wanted a little bit quicker, what might you tell her?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Don’t let others dim your life.

L. Scott Ferguson: do. You are my sister from another mister. I swear. , it’s like. , I I make two new year’s resolutions every year one makes someone smile every single day [00:27:00] Okay, and two, unless I’ve disrespected you, owe you, judge you, or hurt you, I give zero whats about what you think about me.

I don’t care.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: That you’ve gotten to that point because a lot of people, , I struggle every day. I, , I, I, , that’s part of my character makeup that I, that I try to, try to avoid is I, , I worry too much about others and, and trying to make them successful. Occupational hazard for me.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yeah, even in the educator kind of thing kind of comes along with that field love Yeah,

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I have to learn. Wait a minute. Okay, this is my moment. This is my purpose This is my time to push myself. It doesn’t mean I don’t still do that

L. Scott Ferguson: Mm hmm.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I love developing people

L. Scott Ferguson: me too, but it does

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: mean that I have to Take the time to shine myself also.

L. Scott Ferguson: I love that. And so, how does Rhonda want her dash remembered? That little line in between your incarnation date and your expiration date. Hopefully it’s way down the road, but your life date and death date. You look at a tombstone, you [00:28:00] have the born and died and that little line. How does Rhonda want her dash remembered?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: That I lived with compassion and kindness and that I lived the life that I chose. Not the one that somebody else chose, because so many times we get out, we put our purpose and our mindset into what we think others think we should be.

L. Scott Ferguson: Right.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: And we miss our purpose. We’re like the Jobes of the world that end up in a whale’s stomach thrown back up where we’re supposed to be.

, because we don’t know I’m to do

L. Scott Ferguson: or job

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Joe Jonah.

L. Scott Ferguson: Oh, Jonah. Yeah. Job’s the one that got all the, , oh my gosh, that’s to worship God after I’m, I’m, I’m a Christian. Okay. And my, my squad knows it. So, but the, the, the still level up and not blame God after everything that’s, that’s the epitome of just being a human, being a good human.

So how. [00:29:00] What do you, what is your definition, Rhonda, of a life well lived?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: A life well lived. It’s not materialistic. It’s not. It’s being intentional because what I found is I can look and it kind of goes back to those three emotions, anger. , fury and envy, you can get sucked up and thinking, Oh, I’m supposed to be doing this and this is what my life is supposed to be.

And what ends up happening is I’m not enjoying the skyline. I’m not enjoying the wildlife. I’m not enjoying, , the walk that I could be doing or opening up the blinds and seeing the sun for the first time of the day. So a life well lived is living your life.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yes.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: , sit in the chair that you designate as the best chair.

Right. Eat on the couch. On the plate that you think is your favorite, all the things that bring you joy. I have a a couple of items [00:30:00] in my, I’ll call it my perch, my sitting room, but it’s really the front room that overlooks my, my three acres. And I have a couple of things that people would think probably are a little out of place.

One, a Christmas Glittery candle, but turd. That’s actually not a real candle. It’s one that lights up on itself, but every night when I’m sitting there and having that peaceful moment to, , quietness before I go on to the rest of the day, it’s kind of like my transition. As soon as that that timer goes up, it shimmers up like snowflakes and I can sit there and I can focus in on it.

Yeah,

L. Scott Ferguson: yeah.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: And I can just relax, like, this is the next step

L. Scott Ferguson: of

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: the day. And same thing, I have a lava lamp.

L. Scott Ferguson: Me too, dude. You and I, I swear, lady. This is, like, I have one as well. I have a lava lamp, and people are like, what is that? I’m like, I was born in [00:31:00] 72. So my family had, like, lava lamps everywhere. , and stuff like that.

It’s just part of our upbringing. And also, it’s, to me, it sits in my office over here, and it’s tranquil for me. Right. People sometimes just During a maybe a meditative state or a prayer state, I can look at that and just kind of go in a little bit

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: mindful. Breathe.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yes.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Relax. Because so many times you’re I don’t know about you, but I run around.

And I’m like, I don’t think I’ve had a breath in like three, , three minutes. So I have to practice the breathing. Yes. Make sure that I’m doing what’s healthy for me. Stand up. , I, I I went through a phase that I still struggle with the fact that I write better when I’m sitting. Okay. I don’t know why, but guess what?

That’s not good for a back and it’s not good for legs. And it’s

L. Scott Ferguson: extended times. Yeah, you’re right. Yeah.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: So one day I went to the back doctor and he says, you have peripheral moris, that’s why you’re in pain. And I said, well, what’s that? And they said, well, , it’s, you’ll, you need to stand more. You need [00:32:00] to walk more.

You need to do this. So I went and looked it up and it said, but wasting away. Now tell me who wants to hear that their butt’s wasting away. So I realized that I had to get into the mindset that every action I take has to have an intentional of happiness, joy, health. Because life’s too short.

L. Scott Ferguson: Yeah, it’s funny you say that because a lot of people, like, they’ll come to me to kind of get unstuck.

, I’m a gap coach, , you want to get here, you’re here, let’s bridge the gap together. And a lot of people link their confidence to their abilities. And when people do that, they’re in imposter syndrome, start to go, I don’t know if I’m that good with my abilities. But like you were just talked about at length.

Is that if you do, if you link your confidence to your intentions, right? It’s like you Pour it. My whole [00:33:00] thing is before into people, right? And that’s the thing. That’s my intentions So I would be have like how am I coaching this billionaire a three comma guy? How is it possible that he has I the questions I asked me has any resonation But my intention is to help chat right and to help him do that, Our major league baseball player i’m blessed to coach or an actress that i’m blessed to coach, right?

and it’s like So many people like need to listen to you and live intentional, right? That’s

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: huge. It makes not only sense, but it makes you happy.

L. Scott Ferguson: Happy. Thank you. Right. Dopamine dumps not from a screen, but from your intentions.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Yes. You say, what, what would I tell the 22 year old? Don’t let people do the dim your light.

But also realize that what we’re taught as children is IQ is the only way to success. Yeah, granted, that’s a good basis. If you’re, if you’re, if you’re, if you can do math and write [00:34:00]

L. Scott Ferguson: for NASA, then yeah, we want you to have that. Right.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: But actually Daniel Goldman did some great research in the eighties about emotional intelligence, which is your EQ score.

And that is your soft skills. If any, you found that you’re more than More successful if you have a high emotional intelligence.

L. Scott Ferguson: Okay.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Which is people skills. Yeah. So interpersonal skills, your interpersonal skills, your stress management, and your emotional mood.

L. Scott Ferguson: Gotcha.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: But there’s 21 characteristics in all of that.

Yeah. Those are the four categories. If you can actually have self regard, self awareness, and the ability to express your emotions without some kind of transactional, you’re, you’re going to do it this way or my way. Yeah. You end up in a much better place. And then if you can do that, [00:35:00] you can do the same thing with the people that you’re, that you’re leading.

L. Scott Ferguson: Wow. And squad. I know we’re going a little bit long, but this is just so good, but we are going to thank our time to shine today. Podcast Varsity squad. We are back in Miss Rhonda. We’re going to meet one day, maybe when I’m in India in a couple of months, even if it’s for a cup of coffee and just rap about life, it would be great. We’ll talk about some of these questions, 15, 20 minutes, but today you have five seconds with no explanations and I promise they can all be answered that way.

You ready to level up?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I’m ready to level up. Okay.

L. Scott Ferguson: Remember no explanations, just the answer. Okay, because I’m the one that will give an explanation everything. So I break the rules all the time. So, all right, Ms. Rhonda, what is the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.

L. Scott Ferguson: Share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Getting up every day.

L. Scott Ferguson: That helps. So if you see me kind of walking down the [00:36:00] street, man, the Fergie looks like he’s in his doldrums a little bit. What book was ever handed to you other than the good book? Okay, what book was handed to you that maybe, , changed your outlook, changed the trajectory of your thoughts?

Daniel

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence.

L. Scott Ferguson: Okay, awesome. What’s the most commonly used emoji when you text, if any?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Thumbs up.

L. Scott Ferguson: Okay, great. Nicknames growing up.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Oh, wow they don’t really give me a lot of nicknames except for when I went to college. It was Daphne

L. Scott Ferguson: Daphne Okay, gotcha any hidden talent or superpower that you have that nobody knows about well until now

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Probably my empathy.

I love that

L. Scott Ferguson: beautiful chest checkers or monopoly.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I would like to say chest, but it’s really probably checkers

L. Scott Ferguson: Headline for your life

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: And what was that again

L. Scott Ferguson: headline for your life?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Let your inner beast [00:37:00] shine and realize that your passion and purpose is your Playlist

L. Scott Ferguson: love it. That’s beautiful. Go to ice cream flavor

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: mint chocolate chip

L. Scott Ferguson: awesome, so you’re There’s a sandwich called the Daphne build that sandwich for me.

What’s on that? What are we eating?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Oh my goodness It’s going to probably it’s going to be like a cold can it’s going to have the salami.

L. Scott Ferguson: Ah, my kind of girl right there, man. Good for you.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: And it’s also going to have a salad on it because it has to have the lettuce, the tomato, the pickle, the It has to have everything and it has to have lots of goo.

Love it. It has to have the oil and vinegar and mayonnaise. Love

L. Scott Ferguson: it.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: It has to have

L. Scott Ferguson: everything. Yeah. As long as there’s man candy on there, bacon, also, then we’re good to go. I love it. I love it. Favorite charity and or organization you like to give your time and or money to?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Probably the Episcopal Church here in Indianapolis.

L. Scott Ferguson: [00:38:00] Great. That’s awesome. And last question. What’s the best decade of music? 60s? 70s? 80s? 90s?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I think I’m stuck in the 80s

L. Scott Ferguson: me too. I am so much happened in the 80s. Yeah, a lot of

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: good and a lot of different genres in the yeah,

L. Scott Ferguson: thank you.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Oh, from R& B. You can go to, , jazz. You can go to all

L. Scott Ferguson: the invasions, Ireland with you too.

And men at work and , all the different kinds of like, Yes, in one, one people names like Prince, Michael, like Madonna, it was like all that kind of stuff came out whether you’re a fan of it or not that you listen to songs these days, which I don’t really too much like I might be out with , my god daughter and her friends or something.

I hear I’m like, that hook to that song is something that I grew up with. Like you hear it, the beat to it. They’re not original anymore. Like that was original.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I

L. Scott Ferguson: love it. All right. Yeah. How can we find you love

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: the easiest ways [00:39:00] to go to my website, Rhonda, Parker, Taylor. com. It has all my social media on there.

It has anything new coming out and doing my blog, et cetera.

L. Scott Ferguson: Excellent. I am going to do a three book giveaway print book for crossroads. The first three people that put Daphne in DAP in anything. I don’t care if it’s Pinterest. I don’t care if it’s you text it to 561 440 3830 on time to shine today’s dime.

I’m going to mail you out a copy of Crossroads, a suspense novel, and you have a couple other projects. I believe you’re working on right now, right?

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: I do, I have since everybody’s out of a life balance, especially in our lives today and in Crossroads, I take the characters and I make them case studies and I have a life balance workbook that’s coming out.

And then I also have a resilient workbook because all of my fiction novels are who did it thrillers. I, and they survived. I’ll survive. I don’t

L. Scott Ferguson: really know. Spoiler alerts now

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: coming out, too. And it’s actually the first [00:40:00] half of its education. The second half of it is a like a devotional. It brings you spirit, your spirituality into it.

31 days of work.

L. Scott Ferguson: Love it. It’s kind of like Proverbs. Yes, that’s right. I love it. It was run. Leave do me one last solid and leave us the listeners with one last knowledge nugget that we can kind of take with us, internalize and take action on about life.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Make every day great.

L. Scott Ferguson: I love it

then squad. I Just interviewed another author. Sometimes I don’t know which way it’s gonna go, but this is so fun and it’s a little longer So thank you for sticking with us. But , like miss Rhonda reminded us that your book is for you So if there’s vulnerability in there Really kind of face that vulnerability, , bring that harmony into your life because writing can help you explore yourself in a safe and creative environment She reminded us and then those three parts of anger, which is [00:41:00] cruelty fury, which is overwhelm and envy which is a rot Just go back and re listen to that part because that, that’s just sitting right at the top of the surface of my mind right now.

If you’re an aspiring writer and you hit that writer’s block, she reminded us to have a place mark on that page. Maybe go to another scene, turn on some music that might mesh with that person. What we talked about with regards to the four, the family, occupation, recreation, and dream. Get very curious about the characters that you’re developing.

And move forward maybe ask more from your characters have them go a little bit deeper She reminded us don’t let others dim your light Okay, be yourself be authentic and if it is to be it’s up to me And so she’s, she put that out there. She lives with an intention. She lives, she lives, does things for the intention, not the attention.

That’s what I kind of see with my friend, , here, Rhonda, and that she’s planting trees she’s never gonna sit in the shade of because she’s dropping knowledge bombs and knowledge nuggets on us that I thought were never gonna come up with just an interview with an author. She’s so well [00:42:00] versed in life.

She lives with compassion, kindness. In the life that she chose to live. And that’s the kind of people I like to surround myself with. So thank you so much, Rhonda. You level up your health and level up your wealth. You’re absolutely stunning. You’ve earned your varsity letter here at Time to Shine today.

Thank you so much for coming on. God bless.

Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Thank you. Thank you for having me. Everybody go out there and get,

L. Scott Ferguson: yes, they will. I’ll talk to you soon.Rhonda Parker-Taylor: Bye bye.