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Speech Transcript (very little editing so not exact)

Dr. Nathan and Dianne. Come on. Thank you so much. Introduce yourself to the Time to shine today podcast varsity squad. But first, what’s your guys favorite colors and why? Mine’s purple. Purple. Loving purple. Royalty. Regal, baby, regal. Yeah. And it’s in your color wheel stock. How about you? Yeah, mine is black, and I’ll tell you why. Because when I’m with all my grandkids and they always ask about favorite colors, nobody picks black. So I always pick that one, and they think it’s hilarious. I love it. I’ve had two out of over 400 pick black. You’re the second one. There you go. You’re an anomaly as well. So it’s let’s get a little bit to the origins, you know, before I don’t want to give too much away about the book because I’m going to do, you know, a five book giveaway to listeners. I mean, five lucky listeners are going to get free books on my dime. But let’s get to the origins, because, again, the coffee shop discussion at the very beginning of the book and how you got started a little bit doc, if you can get to the origins of where you guys were and then married those two together to build RCS. Where it’s going? Yeah, it started for me, most of my career for 28 years, was being a pastor of a church, and so I used a coaching style, and I didn’t know what to call it back then. Very conversational, very intentional with all of my staff and my key volunteers. Diane built a very successful Marriott K business, and so she had to consult all the women in her organization so that they could build their own businesses. So we did that, and we didn’t even know to call it coaching until many years later, but that’s kind of how we got started. Diane, did you exercise, actually? You have a pink car? Yes, I did. What kind? Cadillac. You had the caddy. Also, ask her how many cars she’s. One for free. How many? 13. Wow. That is amazing. For 26 years. And you can’t do that without really you can’t do that without really caring about the person and the people that you’re building your network with. And you don’t get to 13 cars without doing that. And that’s something that I kind of tell people that I’m even coaching, because I just believe that everybody knows what they want, they just don’t know how to talk themselves into doing it. And I believe that’s where coaching comes in. So I’ve got to ask you, when you guys are starting to work, we’re going to go outside of coaching coaches, but when you’re working with individuals that you’re coaching, what is maybe some of your guys’secret sauce that you use to maybe help them identify that blind spot for that an origin starting point? Well, for me, it’s asking lots of questions that they don’t think to ask themselves. Coaching really is a reaction to what you discover. And where I see a lot of we have to encourage a lot of coaches is you got to get a lot better on the discovery so that it becomes clear on how to coach them. And you can only discover by getting into their story, their personalities, their challenges, their fears, their aspirations, and that takes a while. So we call it professional curiosity, but that’s that sounds simple, but you’ll be amazed at how many coaches tried to jump to the coaching, and they don’t have crystal clear direction on where to really help the person go. I love that. How about you, Diane? Yeah, mine that initial time with them, the first question I asked them is, tell me a little bit about yourself. And I know that if she leads with her career achievement, I know that’s what’s important to her. If she leaves telling me about her family and each little child and everything about her kids, I know that’s what’s most important in her life. So I really paid. Attention of that. What is her first thing she leads with? I love it. I’m just hearing to beginning with questions and really leaning in and listening and really finding what they have. And I love that you said doc professional curiosity because literally I have a whole plaque up here that says be curious. And then literally a little tape on my monitor says be curious because curiosity to me is the biggest superpower in your anybody can ever have. Nothing was invented without curiosity that we’re using on our computers or our smartphones and whatnot they’re very curious about. Thank you for saying that. So if you’re working with a client or let’s say we’re in the discovery period, is there any good question that maybe you wish they would ask you but never do? What do you wish she would have done differently? Love it. I don’t get a lot of questions. I’ve never had someone ask me that, Scott. So I really. Appreciate it, and I think it’s because I’m so intentional. They really feel like they’re the focus. They don’t ask me. So after they get to know me a little bit, they’ll ask me a little bit about how I got into this. Do you realize you’re basically reading my mind? People tell you that? How do you do that? Right. That’s about it, really. And back kind of to what Diane said is like, I want to share my mistakes. I want to share super transparent with my clients because it brings it down to a human level. That’s the one question either where are you taking me? Or what have you did or what you have done differently. I love that. I love it. So with regards to how do I say this? Let’s go into a company. You guys are going to coach it. You have the CEO generally. The one that reaches out or to me anyways and says, hey, I’d like you to come in and talk to somebody. The CEO wants you to come in and help with transformation and help But there’s always that one person within the organization. level them up. It’s like, why are you bringing someone else in? This may be on the little bit lower. How would you go about coaching them from the start and getting them on board for your protocol? Their concern is, we’re bringing somebody from outside of our culture, and we’re giving them open access. Yes, sir. Why are we doing that? Well, the first thing I tell them is, who in your organization is telling your boss how to leave? Nobody. Right. Who in your organization is giving your boss feedback on how he is coming across to his direct importance? Who do you have in your organization that doesn’t work for you and is not afraid to be fired? So. Can just tell them what I see. Love it. And that’s the value of an outsider coming in is they’re going to see things that nobody in the organization sees. I mean, that’s typically my response. I love it. Diane. I’m drawing a blank on that because everything you said is kind of no, that’s for you guys are so married together, by the way. Wait, how many years? 35 and a half. 35. So feel like 35 minutes underwater. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I heard that at an anniversary party once. Funny. Anyway, so let’s talk a little bit about strengths. We’ll start with Diane. What do you feel really your strengths are when it comes to coaching and leading? Yeah. Really connecting quickly. It on a personal level. Gaining trust quickly, just out of my sincerity that I think comes across and being open and trust. Parent like we kind of alluded to before. Very willing to share what I’ve learned in the process. Mistakes I’ve made just really a big encourager to them, believing in them. Love it. Yeah. Doc, two things. One, I don’t miss much from shoe color, grammar, what you say when you first sit down, how many times you use a particular word. I’ve noticed that’s a gift that I have that I just don’t miss a whole lot. And I use that to my advantage. For instance, the client will come in and I’ll say, hey, two times ago when we met, you said this. I’ve been thinking about that. Tell me more what you meant by that. Unpack. That beautiful. So that’s been very helpful, as I’m extremely observant. And the second thing that I realized is a natural talent and I’ve had to help other coaches. Develop is timing. So the key on when to share your story or when to tell that truth or to ask that hard question just because you have it correct doesn’t necessarily mean this is the time to say it. Got to pay attention to the receptivity level of the client. And if you can get your timing right, they receive it much better, much quicker, and it goes much steeper. Love that. With regards to the questions, that might start with the why, how do you coach that out of a coach? To teach them how to do it? Yes, sir. When we actually have taken people through our certification, I will ask them to take notes on the questions ends. I want to see every question that you ask them. Love it. And I’ll just look through how many watts, how many why, depending. So they’ll walk me back through the conversation, and I’ll say, that On. would have been a perfect time to go to motive. Which is the why question. Yeah, absolutely. An action. Hey, you should have asked an action. When are you going to do that? That’s a win question. Right? Because I’m guilty of it. Especially my earlier days. I’d ask it, but try to be gentle about it. But still, that WH eye kind of sets off judgmentalism if it’s not used correctly. I know you guys kind of mentioned that also in the book a little bit as well, and really unpacking and digging deep. So how about weaknesses? Diane? What weaknesses do you feel that you need to work on? Inspecting? What I expect. Love it’s. It’s transparent. Yeah. Am I really following back up on certain things that I’m expecting from them? I have to work always at being intentional of inspecting what I expect from them. We’re like brothers and sisters from different mysteries on that one because that’s the same with me. How about you, Doc? Any weaknesses you like to work on? Completely perfect. I have the complete opposite problem where I’m much more interested in Scott moving forward. And if I’m not on my game that day, I may get ahead of myself and I’ll get pushy because it doesn’t bother me when people push back. Oh, yeah. And I can get ahead and I can get more tactic oriented, solution oriented, progress oriented. And I have to slow down, especially if I’m working with someone who’s highly relational. Right. They would prefer to work with Diane, not me, because she’s so relational. And so I have to work on the opposite of what Diane? I have no problems holding people accountable. I do have a problem sometimes, carry, because. Got you clunky in our marriage in the beginning, too. Does those different styles describe right. So how do you do you guys ever start working with somebody and say, well, maybe it would be better for Doc or maybe better for Diane? Has that happened? No, because we don’t split the money. So I want to keep up with revenue for myself. I love it, being honest. That’s beautiful. Matter of fact, I had a client yesterday and I’ve already made up my mind. I’m going to refer her to Julie, one of my affiliates. Good. I definitely refer out because I know what I’m good at. Yes, sir. And if they’re wanting more from me than what I can give them, I think they deserve that. Yeah, but not from me. I believe you’re probably good enough to know it within the first couple of conversations, too, which really keeps the ball rolling for them. It’s cliche. I use the Ford acronym family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. That’s where I really start the hour of power with them Fo, rd. And I’ll know off of that if they’re the right person, if I need to maybe play some with another coach because I’m not pushy, but I’m very motivated. It’s a military six tours downrange in Iraq and Afghanistan, whatever, to really like, focus in. But some people need a little bit more. And I tried to be that person and I wasn’t the right person for them in that moment and I really wasn’t serving them well. So I love that you are transparent enough to say, doc, that you will give them to somebody that will help them better. That’s fantastic. So you guys seen the movie? It’s a little bit older, but have you seen the movie Back to the Future? It’s in a long time. Let’s get in that DeLorean with Marty McFly. Let’s go back to the 22 we’ll start with Diane. Let’s go back to the 22 year old Diane. Certainly not. Knowledge nuggets, we call them here. Tom Chen today, is there any knowledge nuggets you might drop on her? Not so much. Change your journey, because your journey has been pretty fruitful in connecting and also but maybe help shorten that learning curve a little bit to maybe help her level up, maybe just a little bit quicker. Do not be so concerned about what other people think. I’m a people pleaser by nature. And I can remember when I thought about leaving corporate America. Well, I did leave corporate America, really to be a stay at home mom. That’s where it began. But then when I decided while being a stay at home mom, I wanted to start this business, I thought about, oh, but my parents paid for my college degree. I have a college degree. I’m going to try something. And I’m not using my college degree. You know, I just worried too much about what people thought, I think. Okay, beautiful. I was caught in that, too. And then my mentor and coach said. He gave me two New Year’s resolutions to make every single day of the year. One makes someone smile every day, and I do that. I’m just a goofy, 260 pound big guy. Right. But also, unless I’ve heard you disrespected you or owe you, I really don’t care what you think about me anymore. I used to really care about that. But how about flip to you, Doc? How about you? For sure. Don’t say everything you’re thinking. Would he have listened at 22? No, I would have told you what I was thinking about what you just said. Were you guys from Ohio originally, or were you from always from Tulsa, Oklahoma? Tulsa. Okay. For some reason, I thought that I was wrong on that. So we’ll start with docking this one. But how do you want your dash remembered? That little line in between your incarnation date and your expiration date, your life date and your death date? Hopefully, it’s way down the road. But how do you want your dash remembered? Intentional. Great steward. That would mean so much to me that someone would say, that guy leveraged everything he had for the benefit of other people. So whether it’s money, time, talent, network ideas, but intentional stewardship of the little space and time I’ve been given, that would mean a lot to me. It’s leaving like Jesus right there, man. That’s pretty awesome. How about you, Diane? That she loved and served everybody well in her life. That’s awesome. It’s straight to the point. That’s fantastic. So, Diane, what do you think people might misunderstand the most about you? I can be competitive really, with that, because when Doc said, we don’t split the money, I looked at Diane, and her face was like. I can see that competitive coming out and it’s beautiful. How about you, Doc? Well, we’ll be out on the golf course later and she will take a picture of every ball when she outdrives me and texts it to her best friend or the family. That’s how competitive she is. How about you? You have that competition bug. Yeah, but I’m a lot more stealthy. I won’t admit it. I cannot stand second place. Go home like first loser, right? I’m 50 years old. I’ve been competing and grappling jiu jitsu since my twenty s. And that’s what I want. To win so bad. That’s the thing. But sometimes that might spill over into my coaching because I want them to win so bad. And that’s where my weakness is. I want for them more than they want for themselves. Times and that’s where I’ve really kind of honed my skills and continue to work to hone my skills so how about you doc? Does anything keep you up at night? Not really when I started the lead self lead others for sure I would wake up thinking is this idea crazy? Is our best bank going repossessed my house? How come that guy hasn’t called me back? Who am I fooling? Imposter syndrome big time right? Wow I remember having to work on a new anxiety level I’d never had before that can definitely keep you up without a doubt out keep you going you want to lay it all on God, right? But he made us human to experience that and it could get to you how about you, Diana? Are you like my lady Susan that can just. Fall asleep in 8 seconds. I think it’s just the one thing Nathan said for me. If I haven’t heard back from somebody or they didn’t return the phone call, then I’m should I call again? How many messages do you leave? Why haven’t heard back? What does that mean? What are they thinking? That’s probably the one thing that might look at my head. How about just just maybe one question? I’m leaving some wisdom with the new coaches within that first conversation. How do you want that first conversation to go? With a coach with their first client? Do you guys at RCS real coaching success really push when they’re starting that discovery conversation? What is the one thing that you want them to get out of that? Well, there’s the tactical side. You got to get enough information that you can go home and convert that into a proposal that makes it easy for the client that’s. Say yes. That’s the practical thing. But what I want on the developmental side is I want to say, hey, would you do well? What did you in the moment your instincts kicked in? Because I want to bring attention to the fact that they’ve got good instincts. They need to get their reps in just like everybody else. Everything, yeah. Don’t let your missteps and your fear and your uncertainty over obscure the fact that you got good instincts as a coach. Right. So I always like to ask them, hey, in that session, what are you most proud of? That you did that you just did it instinctively. And I always try and highlight that to them. That’s beautiful. That’s awesome. I just like to leave that conversation. I didn’t sign them with that, for lack of a better term, in a place of possibility instead of affordability. And then that really has helped me out, leaving them in that states. So, Diane, what is your definition of a life will live? That anybody? Well, that I think goes back to that I’ve loved everybody well served, people well, everybody knows I love the Lord, and absolutely, I make impact where I can, that I’m intentional. That’s beautiful. How about you, Doc? I didn’t hear the question. What would you think your definition of a life well lived is? That everything I did ended up with me achieving the status that I finished well, like Paul said, right? Yeah. Really? Best race, man. That’s awesome. I’ve worked with a lot of guys that have stumbled, made mistakes, been fired, whether personal. Life mistakes, professional life mistakes, and I want to let them share that with me. And then, at the right time, say, hey, look, let me tell you something. It’s about finishing. And based on my ability to look, right now, you’re not dead. You don’t even have to be a medical doctor for that. Yeah. So I think we have some hope here. And it takes time. Love it. That’s what I want to focus on, is living, getting back to a lifestyle and leadership so that when it’s time for you to hang it up, you can say, Man, I finished. Well, love it. That’s awesome. And, squad, we’re going to take my good friend Dr. Nathan and his lovely wife Diane through our Leveling up lightning round just as soon as we get back from thinking our sponsors and affiliates. Time to shine. Today podcast. Varsity squad. We are back. And next time I’m in Tulsa, I’m going to definitely look you up, and I’m sure we’ll go over a few of these questions. Maybe 1520. But you guys have 5 seconds with no explanations whatsoever. Minutes on each one. And they can all be answered that way. You guys ready to level up? Okay. All right. We’ll start with Diane. Diane, what is the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received? All you can do is ask. All I can say is yes. I love it. How about you, Doc? Make it easy for people to say a yes to you. Beautiful. Love that. Share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success. Defined. Work hours. Beautiful. Dan, as an entrepreneur, we do whatever we want to do, right? Work hours. Dan. Exercise, man. Taking care of the body. Exercise. Love it. So if you see me walking down the street, man, like Fergie looks like he’s in his indulgence a little bit. Other than the good book, what book might you hand me to level me up? Your one and only life Great book. Doctors, too. I love that book. But one I’ve been giving out quite a bit is 4000 Weeks. Oh, Jason Holzer just mentioned that to me. Okay, that’s on my list. Great. Excellent philosophical book on time. Yeah. It’s time management. It’s the philosophy of time. And I think it’s healthy for people that want to live intentionally to understand their own view of time. Beautiful. Your most commonly used emoji, Diane. When you text the face with the three purple Hearts. Beautiful. Doc, you’re not going to believe this, but I’ve never used one. Okay, very cool. That’s good enough. How about nicknames growing up, Doc? Nate the snake. Love it. How about you, Diane? Duck. The last name was Duckworth and everybody called me Duck. Got you. All right. Diane Chess. Checker is a monopoly. Monopoly. How about you, Duck? None. Don’t like board games. Love it. Go to ice cream flavor, Doc. Well, vanilla. I really don’t eat ice cream. Me too. It’s my teeth. How about you, Diane? Chocolate chip mint. Mint chocolate chip. So there’s a sandwich called Nate the Snake. What’s on that sandwich, Doc? Build it for me. Yeah, every meat you got in the fridge and then the garden on top. How about the duck? What’s on that sandwich? Probably turkey and Swiss panini style. Oh, yeah. Beat that thing up. Beautiful. All right. Favorite charity and organization you like to give your time or money to? Well, local church, for sure, but we also. A ministry that is for women professional golfers. Very cool. Both of you guys. Yeah, I’m beautiful. Beautiful. Alright, last question. You can elaborate on this one a little bit, but what do you feel is the best decade of music? Or nineties? Eighties. Me too. I’m right there with the eighties. How about you, doc? You listen to music? I’m all over the map. And then Beethoven. I love it. Beautiful. So how can we find you? Well, Lead Selfleadeathers.com is my one that’s been around for 15 years now. It’s what we do with all of our coaching and any consulting. And then Realcoachingsuccess.com is our new baby. It’s about two years old and kind of free stuff on there for anybody interested in coaching. Okay, let’s go ahead. Bit deeper into real coaching success, like the coaches that are out there listening, because I probably have over 1000 of them in my email directory and I want to make sure this gets in front of them, like give us a little gist of what they can expect when they dig into RCS. Well, you’re going to see me interview. I’ve got about ten interviews with coaches from around the country with a variety of personal personalities and I did that for a reason to encourage someone who maybe needs to see somebody different than me. We’ve done webinars with some very gifted coaches asking them to give us their secret sauce for some of their best tools, how they stay motivated. We’ve just launched the certification course and you can read about that where we’ll actually train you how to go from how to spell the word coach all the way up to 90 days past your business launch party and how to market it and build your data. So we go all the way from zero to skills up to launching your Space. business. Because basically what we did is we just went back and documented what we did. Right. The first thing we got coming up is Diane and I are going to start a podcast probably in two months. Okay. We’re going to debrief the week of coaching together. Okay. Just going to go back and forth. What was your highest? What was your low? What you learn? What are you excited about? And the idea is to just bring fellow coaches into my little office here, where we’re just hanging out, and we’re just talking about our journey of coaching just as a way to encourage people. That’s amazing. I love that you guys are keeping the coaching community close and bringing more people in to do it to where I feel it’s the right way to be able to grow a business. Yeah. We’re going to have a segment in there called Real Coaching Tips and Tips, where we’re going to crack a new bottle of wine that’s. Our sawmier has gotten us all these weird wines. We’re going to toss that right in the middle of the podcast and just have something quirky in there about, hey, what do you taste? What do you think? That’s cool. That’d be a lot of fun when you think that you’re going to drop that launch. Oh, nice. Very cool. Make sure I’m on that list. Definitely. Get on there. Listen to it. I’m going to ask you to do me one last solid and share each one of you. Share like a knowledge nugget that the listeners can take with them internalize and take action on. You want to go back? No, I need a minute. Wait, ask the question again. Just one last knowledge nugget. Just a little maybe encouragement or something that people can take with them internalize and take action. I got something. Hun. I’ll go. Okay. I can’t encourage coaches strong enough to pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about just because. You don’t have a website. You can’t even spell the word coach. You can’t answer questions like, who’s going to hire me? What should I charge? That’s just all noise. Pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about. So whether it’s coaching or launching a new business or whatever, but I believe that that is in you for a reason. Because you have 99 questions you can’t answer. You shouldn’t ignore. The one thing that you have to be honest about is man, I can’t stop thinking about it. Wow, that’s amazing. But you miss Dan, so I’m thinking, don’t compare yourself to do that. We compare ourselves to the other coach. Pay attention to who you are, how God made you, how he designed you. Take him as your business partner. He knows you. He knows your heart. He knows your strengths. He knows your weaknesses. He does have plans for success for you. And you need to just lean into who you are. Not compare. That is strong. That is strong. Thank you for saying that and both of you guys for being so transparent. Squad. I just had a fun conversation with Dr. Nathan and Diane, and I have knowledge upon knowledge, and I guess from just their book alone, which will be in the show notes, I’m going to do five separate book giveaways. For anyone that puts for real coaching success within any of our social media. Or if you email me back with that or text us at 561-440-3830. I’m going to buy five books and Dr. Nathan, Diane, hopefully will sign them and I’ll take care of the postage as well to get them out. So just leave that within any of the social or email or text, whatever it is, we’ll get that book out to you. But they both spoke about listening and really listening closely while asking powerful questions. Really listening with their neck leaning in for the answers and to be able to build that game plan that is going to help you get into the stratosphere success for whatever you’re going for during the discovery period. Make sure that you’re clear on their intentions and also your intentions. Be very transparent. Diane mentioned ask your coach what you may have did differently. That coach should be very transparent in what that answer is going to be. If they feel like they’re hiding it, that might not be the right coach for you because they’re expecting you to be that. Also, Diane said, don’t be so concerned about what other people think. Be yourself, be authentic, be a nice person, but don’t really care because what they think really doesn’t matter to what’s going to happen with you. And Doc says he wants to be be a good, intentional person, a great steward, that he leveraged everything he has for the benefit of And I also believe that Jesus did that as well. others. Both will be remembered as someone that loved and served. They are going to slide across home plate when it’s all said and done and God calls them home but knowing that they left the world in a better place because right now they’re planting trees that they probably will never sit in the shade of for what they’re doing. For coaches, if you’re stuck on something, don’t be afraid to ask. They want you to get your like my good friend Leah Woodford would say, get your asking here. Ask the right great people. There are coaches, there are people out there that will help you do that. Doc reminded us, pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about. Like, I have monkey mind, but there’s usually that one thing that sits at the top of the brain and really pay attention that dig in. And if you have a coach, call them, talk to them about if you have a counselor, a pastor, whoever you have, talk to them to really dig deep and unpack that. And again, Diane said, be authentic. Take God as your business partner. Lean into him. Lean on him. Because whether you’re God or your creator or whatnot, they want success for you. In all areas of your life. And both of these, my good friends here, level up their health. They level up their wealth. They both earn their varsity letters here. Time to shine today. Thank you so much for coming on, guys, and I can’t wait to collaborate with you in the future. Thank you, Scott. You bet. Chat soon. Okay. See you.
Matt, thank you so much for coming on. Please introduce yourself. The time to shine today podcast.varsity. But first, what’s your favorite color and why? Oh, man, it’s got to be blue. And anyone who knows me could answer that question for you, because I’ve definitely gotten pinned as Matt. Do you have any other colored shirt besides blue? I have shades of blue. I got shades of blue. It brings out your handsome blue eyes, bro. There you go. You know what? That might be the thing. Do, I love that you went to Rutgers, man. I’m a huge, like, division One wrestling fan. I grew up wrestling, and Rutgers is a place where I actually went in high school and kind of trained with those Jersey Boys and just some absolutely killers that come out of Rutgers and they started to win national championships and stuff like that. It’s really cool. But let’s get to the origin story, man, and how you got into what intrigues me a lot is the movement specialist, which we’ll dig into a little bit here. Let’s get a little bit to your origins, how you started and got into being this highly sought after coach. Yeah, I mean, it kind of started with movement, honestly. Scott, I grew up in a medical model. My dad was a doctor. My mom was a nurse practitioner. And a lot of perks to having two parents as medical physicians. Right. But I was a three sport athlete, was injured a lot. Let’s just say started with elbow problems, then knee. And then elbow was really the one that really kind of sidelined me, and I was getting a lot of surgeries, let’s just put it that way. And it helped. I kind of limped my way through high school sports. I had to stop playing baseball because my elbow was basically trashed, and I had to quit my senior year at high school soccer because my ankle was really just hanging on by a thread. The basketball team I was on, we were competing for a state championship. So I was like, all right, I’m just going to stop playing soccer so I can focus on the. Basketball. And my career ended a month short of my senior year in basket playing basketball. 40 points shy of scoring 1000 points. It’s like, oh, God, you lose her. Brutal. Yeah, exactly. Weird. Horrible. Right. A lot of time on a couch to get through that one. But yeah, man. The only answer I was getting was surgery, medication, physical therapy that I’m not going to say it did nothing because it got me to kind of the next block. Sure. But what I realized was none of this was really solving the bigger problem here, which is why am I breaking down at 18 years old physically? And I’m doing everything you people tell me to do to A-T-I didn’t want to accept. Well, Matt, you just have bad genes. It’s like, it’s got to be more than that, man. Maybe we need to rethink the model. And so I went all in on learning everything there was about physical rehabilitation, strength coaching. I studied with Olympic strength coaches. I mean, there wasn’t a seminar that I didn’t go more into debt to learn from these guys. I would go anywhere, I would travel to learn. Greatest investment, though, right? It is, man. It has paid me back infinitely. Right. ROI on that. You can’t put a number on it. And I invested in all this time and energy and got to a place, Scott, where I was in incredible shape. And I mean, like, and I can say this because I’m from Jersey, but I was a Jersey meathead. I mean, I was like 210, 215, 8% body fat. I looked really good. I moved a lot of weight in the gym and I’ll never forget this day. And it was actually in New York City. I was working as a trainer, upper East Side. And I was PR. I was going for a PR on the military press and I was feeling really good, man. I put a lot of time working to it. And I got on this military press, I think it was about 315 on the bar. And I pressed this thing over my head. It’s a lot of weight for a little guy. Right, right. And I remember pushing that thing over my head. Scott wrapped that bad boy and I was like, I’ve arrived. I finally overcome all of these injuries, all of these problems. Oh, my God, I’m so excited. Took three steps away from the bench, my whole right arm couldn’t move. Like literally hanging, excruciating pain. I had my orthopedic surgeon on speed dial at that point. So called them right up and I’m like, my elbow exploded. We need to get into the second surgery, like now. Right. Make a longer story short, go into his office, assessment, x rays, the whole kit and caboodle comes into the office. I’m like, all right, man, tell me what’s wrong with me and tell me how we are going to fix me. Right, matt, I don’t see anything wrong with your elbow. Wow. What are you talking about? Right? I don’t know what it was about that moment, Scott, but it was the moment that changed my whole life. Because it was the moment that I realized, wait a minute. Maybe these guys don’t have all the answers. And how unfair it is for me to expect them to have all the answers about something’s so infinitely complex like the human body. Right? And so that’s when I started my deep dive, and I questioned every fundamental truth out there about health, but it started with, Why are we doing this to rehabilitate people? Why are we doing leg curls to strengthen people’s hamstrings? Why are we doing this movement where you put a bar on your back and go up and down? And if people said, well, to get stronger. Stronger for what? And what do you mean by strength? And I’m going to do yoga because I’m going to be flexible. Well, flexible for what? I became the really annoying person in the seminar. Let’s just put it that way. Because I would ask why at least 80 times, and something I say, like, be my five year old, right? And ask why 400 times. And I realized, Scott, two things. The underlying health model isn’t anchored. Two principles that will create vitality. And what do I mean by vitality? Vitality to me is the ability to live your best life and get every last drop of life out of light, exuberant energy, exuberant. Like, I want that health model. Health is defined as the absence of illness and disease. So everything we’re doing in the health models to prevent illness and disease, and it’s measured that way. How do you measure if you’re healthy? Well, I don’t see you have any diseases. I see your blood work doesn’t have to be like, well, wait a minute. And so really dove into that. And I can get into what I found, if you’d like. But that’s where I started my journey. And it started with the physical body, because that’s where my body was breaking down. And then I did the same question. Everything about nutrition, like, why are we telling people to eat salads? Why are salads healthy? Why is vegetables healthy? Why are we doing this? Tell me why. And don’t give me, well, because it’s healthy. I ask people all the time, why are you eating salad? Well, I don’t know. Roughage. Healthy, I think. Yeah, right. That wasn’t good enough for me. And then I did the same thing with the mental health and did a really deep dive into a personal development company that I helped build for eight years. And I got deep into this organization, and what I found was the things and the frameworks that we were teaching people I felt was creating dependence on us. It wasn’t empowering them. Okay. And when I started to get into the psychology and the physiology and how we’re wired, the neurology and neuroscience has exploded in the last 1520 years. Right, right. I realized a lot of the common we’ll call it healthy mindsets actually pin you against yourself. Right? Oh, absolutely. Which makes you work on yourself forever, which is very convenient for some of these businesses. Sure. Yeah. I’m not going to sell it end game because we’re always progressing, evolving or digressing and falling through. But I love that you really mentioned movement. I’m just kind of throwing a guy’s name on the edo porto. Do you know him? With the movement? I mean, I learned a lot from that to help my JITs game, my jujitsu game with movement because again, I was that meat head. I’m 61, I’m 260 and pretty well put together, 34 inch waist. Still. I’m 50 years old and I still get after it. But I was in the gym being a meathead while I was in 06:00 a.m. In the mornings, I’m in the mats and there’s killers here in south Florida and jujitsu world. And I was just getting just owned by people because my movement was just not there. And I kind of follow a little bit of the ego. And trust me, after today, I’m going to probably be picking your brain a little bit, especially since you’re so local. But it’s like I’m more functional. I do everything now for functionality. Would I eat what I move? I have a serious morning program with rebounding on a trampoline to flush the limp system out. And I have a pit bull that just loves to walk behind gardens mall here every morning. So I’m always moving before I put in anything. I love that you bring it up for asking yourself why do you do it? That’s fantastic. And speaking that, do you coach people one on one or more in a group study? Both. I work with people at a very high level. I don’t have a ton of one on one clients because I put so much time into your but most of my stuff is online. But absolutely, I work with people one on one. Okay. So let’s go there. You’re in a discovery period and you’re having that conversation. Is there any secret sauce, if you don’t mind, share matt that helps them maybe find or recognize or identify their blind spots as far as movement? Sure. Just say health, man. You’re really wanting to get them in line with who they feel that they want to be. Yeah. A few things that I would say is to me, I have to change the outcome. Like what are we trying to accomplish? Sure. I feel like when someone comes to me and ask me, hey, mac, can you help me lose weight? Can you help me do this? Can you help me do that? The question I’ll always encourage them to to ask themselves is why I hate using why in coaching conversation? Because I never use that. I make it a point because Y is so judgmental. But when you’re in that discovery period, your Y is everything, right? It is. Yeah. And a lot of times we’re focusing on getting to a destination because we perceive it’s going to accomplish X, Y, and Z. Right? But if we actually name what X, Y, and Z is, a lot of times we’ll realize is that’s not the direction to get there? It’s going to look differently. And I think because of the health model and the way that we’re all conditioned inside of health, more often than not, people are focused on eliminating the pain or how do I not be stressed? How do I make sure this doesn’t happen? And we know this is very basic. I think that’s usually the first little calibration I’ll make with people is to just get them to get out of survival mode and to slow Because when usually people come to coaches scott right. down. When there’s a problem and they’re kind of in this little bit of a can be a little bit in this, oh, my God, I need you to help me with this. I need you to help me with that. And so I think one of the best things we can do in that moment is slow down. And I call it get to 20,000ft, I think of a Black Hawk helicopter Right. analogy. I feel like Black Hawk helicopters are designed to kind of float above the territory, right, to assess the situation. And if there’s a situation, they drop down, but they got to get out fast. Stay down there, man. You can get lost down there. Yeah. And so usually when people come to us as coaches, they’re down there, and the only thing they see is this what’s happening in their space right there. And there’s a purpose and a point to that. The stress response does that. It makes us high focused on what’s happening in the moment, but it doesn’t create the bigger context of, wait a minute. Understand that we’re in this one little spot here, and there’s this whole terrain that we have to work with. And yes, I understand you want to get out of this spot, but where do we ultimately want to go? Because if we can use the greater context as a guide to get out of that spot, then we don’t find ourselves back in that spot. Over and over, over and over and over again. Right? It’s like if I said to you, hey, Scott, how do I get out of here? Scott, how do I get out of here? How do I get out of here? And I’m staring at my feet, Matt. Scott. And you’re like, But, Matt, where do you want to go? I don’t know. I just need to get out of here. I just need to get out of here. All right, I hear you, Matt, but where do you want to go? Because if you tell me you want to go over there, we’ll start moving in that direction. And the byproduct of that is you’re not here anymore, right? So it’s classic. Don’t think of pink elephants, right? What are you going to think about? You’re going to think about them, right? Right. Like, hey, here’s the secret to never being stressed again, guys. Just don’t think about monkeys, okay? So just just remember for the rest of the day today to know about monkeys, and you won’t be stressed. You will be dreaming about monkeys. So, three great analogies all in there with the black hawk, the monkey, and it’s funny, our creators made us pretty much the only living species that can look up. You know what I’m saying? Every other creative species, they’re looking down and stuff. And that’s why I take with my coaching clients, I remind them of that, is that they can always level up, move up, because we’re built that way to be able to do it. With that being said, when you’re starting that discovery conversation a little bit, is there any good question that you wish they would ask you but never do? Good question that they would ask me that they don’t ask me? I don’t know if I could pin down one. No, it’s fine. Me, I’m two things. Like you, I’m a sports nut, and I’m a big believer in lineage. Like bill parcels is coaching tree below them, right. I mean, they’re all studs for the most part. I want to know their lineage, like how they got there and also their why. Dude, I want to know my coaches. I got five coaches, and I want to know and I did deep with their why. That’s how I really push people, that if you’re going to work with somebody to ask the coach their why, as well. But it’s a question that I don’t ask. You mean a question that they would ask me about me? Yeah. Okay. Got you. Yeah, but they never do. Have you seen the movie back to the future? Of course. Okay. It’s been a few years, but can I ask your age, brother? I’m 44. Okay. So we’re in the same realm. I’m 50 or 45. Beautiful. So let’s go back to the double deuce, the 20 year old getting that DeLorean with marty McFly. Let’s go back to the 22 year old matt, what kind of knowledge? It’s not so much to change anything because your journey is pretty freaking awesome, but to maybe help him shorten the learning curve, level up and blast you maybe just a little bit quicker. Yeah, I mean, I think there is one thing that I would tell him, and it’s to trust himself. If I was to tell him one thing, what I loved about that 20 year old version of me is I was relentless and not willing to settle. I think I would have maybe, like you said, it might have been a little more efficient journey if I trusted myself a little bit. And to me, that all comes back to how connected we are to ourselves. Right. And obviously there’s a lot of reasons why we can be disconnected, but. I think what I’ve learned, especially even recently, that the importance of trusting oneself, not because trusting yourself is always going to be the quote, unquote right thing to do. But when you have that internal compass whispering at you, at times, intuition, whatever you want to call that consciousness, there’s a lot of words for it. Some people both call it the divine consciousness. Your soul, your intuition, lots of words for it. Right? But sometimes it whispers, sometimes it screams. Right. And I think if I was to say what’s so important for that 20 year old was to put a little bit more weight on the whispers and definitely, oh, my gosh, dude, don’t ignore the screams. Wow, that’s fantastic. Because a lot of times those whispers have so much knowledge that it wants to pass on to you, you can’t even comprehend it. Right? In our brains, until we’re 25, physiologically are still kind of mush, right? And then you get until, man, I’ve never heard that. That’s fantastic. Put weight on the whispers, but don’t ignore the screams as well. That’s beautiful, brother. So what do you feel? Let’s go this route. How does Matt Juana’s dash remember that little line in between your incarnation date and your expiration date, your life date and your death date? Hopefully it’s years down the road, bro, but how do you want your Remember? dash? Man, I’d love to feel like I played one small little role in nudging the trajectory of the community, the consciousness of people, and what I say, like, nudging it towards being more connected to ourselves than each other. I just feel like if there is a problem in the world right now, is that we are disconnected from ourselves, so therefore we’re disconnected to each other and therefore disconnected to the planet. When you look at how we treat each other and how we treat creation in the universe, in the world, the only explanation for that is disconnected from ourselves. Right? So you can’t be connected to another human if you’re not connected to yourself. It’s the cliche. Cliches are cliches because they work and they’re true, but they can be bastardized. Sure. You got to love yourself before you can really give that love to somebody else and build that solid community. I love that you’re saying, start inward and let it shine outward. That’s fantastic aspect. So what do you feel that people might misunderstand the most about you? About me? About matt? Yeah, about matt. What do they misunderstand about me, maybe? What do they misunderstand about me? I don’t know, man. I think I’m pretty raw with people and pretty authentic, if anything. Maybe people can think I’m a little maybe too honest at times. Little jersey, little abrasive jersey. I love it. It’s funny. When I moved down here, brother, about nine years ago, and I’m from michigan, so my whole squad, they go the boring side of the state. Congratulations, by the way. I’m not in michigan. I’m a spartan. But no, on the east coast, you get a lot of the I 95 corridor. You have the josie, boston philly, and I’m a big dude, and I love to I try to defuse all his he a bully, or is he a nice guy with a hug? hug. Bro, like, these people from the east coast are looking at me like, god, over here, dude. And I started thinking, I did a deep dive, which you said a lot. Right? I did a deep dive into why. And a lot of the people on the east coast, they live on top of each other. All they want is their space. Once I learn that, bro, I have best friends from jersey, brooklyn, boston. They would probably die for me because I’m just so full of love, and I love to show love, but I appreciate you being transparent with that, because I can be in the same way where I can be a little abrasive at times. I mistake it or that I might have everything all together. Like, dude, I’m so far from that. Yeah. I try my best to make sure people are aware that I don’t. And I always say to people, if you have any fantasies about me, just call my wife. She’ll set you straight. If anything. Does anything keep you up at night, man? What can keep me up at night? I will talk about what’s been keeping me up at night recently, to be completely honest with you. When I’m putting together my courses, when I’m serving my community, this has been something that’s been really there for me lately, is, am I really serving people in a way that’s changing the trajectory at we’ll call it a causative level, or am I just treating symptoms here because it’s more convenient for my business? That is so freaking transparent. That’s where I’ve been lately, bro. And there’s part of me times at scott where I’m like, man, there’s a part of me, and I’m like, man, I don’t even know if I want to be in this game anymore, because I’m really not sure. Right. Because the deeper you go into a space, the less you realize, you know? Right. I’m not the first one to figure this out, obviously, but the more you learn, the more you realize you have no clue what you’re doing. So honest, man. And that’s why I don’t do group coaching. That’s my reason. I’m a one on one guy and blessed to have professional athletes, actors, actors, blah, blah, blah. But I was also started my coaching journey with pro bono. Pro bono. Pro wanted to get up there, but I just feel that I can’t give all of me to a group. That’s just my feeling. But you have more of an umbrella with the movement and stuff like that, and I understand how you can really me, I have my hour of power. We level up, we transform. So your honesty, it just blows me out of the water, bro. So what is Matt’s definition of a life where I lived? I left it all on the table, man. I didn’t settle. I went for it. I mean, I’ll never forget listening to this Tim Ferris podcast where this guy he was interviewing this is probably 1015 years ago, and the guys called I can’t remember the guy’s name, but he was basically somebody who interviewed all these people at the end of their life, and they were all very, quote, unquote successful people and talked about what they were thinking about at the end of their life. And the one thing that literally stopped me as I’m sitting in La traffic for a change on that day and the guy was like, the thing that most people that I found they regretted the most, it was most hurtful for them was there was a part of them that knew they didn’t go for it. They didn’t live the life that they were here to live. They settled for the easier path or the path that they were told they were supposed to take or the varieties of what that could look like. And so I remember that day, and I remember saying to myself, I will not be at the end of my life. I don’t give a shit if I’m living in a box under a bridge, if I know I went for it. And I stayed true to that voice in my head, and I went all in on that. I’m good, man. I’m good. Me, too, brother. You’re just leaving it all out there like you said, man. That’s the essence of a lot of those people that you just talked about. They feel like, I always have time to do. I’m 50 years old. It was a blank, dude. You know what I’m saying? And it’s like, wow. And I got so much more I want to do while people still take me seriously, because, like, you and I are in, like, kind of the Silverback Ages, where people look at us and go, dude, they see a little gray. They see your little successful, they listen to you. But when you’re like, 65, you’re freaking old to a lot of these people, right? So the next 15 years, dude, that’s all we got. Scott no. Like, no, I’ll keep going. Without a doubt. But for the next 15 years, when I feel that people are really taking you seriously, you know, there’s so much I want to do. That’s what keeps me up. You and I are like brothers from different mothers, man. This is awesome. So. You know what, squad? We’re going to take a break right now and thank our sponsors and affiliates, but we will be right back and take my good friend Matthew Lebasco through our Leveling Up lightning Round time to shine. Today podcast. First of all, we are back. And Matt, we’re going to hook up in the next couple of weeks dude. And chat about a few of these questions face to face, and we’ll talk about 1520 minutes an hour. Hour. But today, you got 5 seconds with no explanations, and they can all be answered that way. Are you ready to level up? Do it. All right, Matt. Matt, what is the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received? Trust yourself. Yeah. Share one of your personal habits that contribute to your success. Deep breath. Every morning, before I do anything else, all of it. You see me walking down the street, you’re like, man, fergie. He looks a little bit like he’s in his doldrums. Outside of health to Vitality, what book might you hand me again? I’ll just recency bias but I’ll say put your ass where your heart wants it to be. By Steven Pressfield yes. Just the title in itself is beautiful. Your most commonly used emoji when you text, I think it’s just the sunglass one. Cool one. Chess. Checker is a monopoly. Chess. Nice. Go to ice cream flavor. Good old fashioned chocolate chip, man. Beautiful. Dude, you’re the second interview today that said chocolate chip. I’m not even lying, brother. The dude that’s out on the West Coast? No, he’s in Boise, Idaho. He said that? I love it. How about nicknames growing up? Bosco. That was the one. So there’s a sandwich called the Moscow Bosco. Build that sandwich for me. All right, well, it’s going to have all of my childhood favorites on And anybody who’s been to Rutgers, they’re going to know where this it. came from. The grease trucks. It’s going to have a burger on it, some chicken fingers, some mozzarella sticks, mozzarella cheese, a little pesto. Let’s do it. Throw a little man candy on there, too little bacon, you know, whatever. That’s an option at my shop. That’s an option. I love it, dude. I love it. Favorite charity and organization. Like to give your time or money to. Without question. It’s I would say veterans. Nice. Thank you. Especially Special Ops. That’s probably where and honestly, anything to do with the preservation of the planet. I love it. Love it, love it. Last question. You can elaborate a little bit on this one map, but what’s the best decade of music? Sixty s. Seventy s. Eighty s or ninety s? I got to say ninety s. Ninety s. All right. Very cool. Very cool. Eighty s and ninety s is my jam. So I graduated in 90, and then the me. Just had so, like, you had the kind of wrap with your Beasty Boys and Run DMC. You kind of come and then you have, like, all the big hair, don’t care, glam rock, metal, rock, invasions from you two Duran Duran. But then you get in the was in Desert Storm, did seven tours down range and it was like Blink 182 and Counting Crows and it was like stuff like that. So they have Pearl Jam in the hip hop. I was a big guy, but love it. I love it. But I love music, man. I can play in every single genre. You just said, love it, love it. So let’s get your book, man. Health to vitality. Let’s tell us a little bit about it without giving too much away, because we are going to have a book giveaway at the end and we’re going to call anybody that puts Moscow bosco in any of our social. I don’t care if it’s pinterest TikTok, LinkedIn, wherever we’ll get a signed copy, personally signed to you on Time to Shine Today’s dime and we’ll mail it out to you. Let’s get to the book there. Matthew, what kind of pushed you to write it and what can readers look to find out? Yeah, it actually started, to be honest with you, it was the beginning of this year. I just started writing to just kind of get my head straight. I was doing a version of what I call getting to 20,000ft because I went through a pretty big transition. Leaving that personal development company actually was what the big transition was and lost about 90% of my income. That was a big transition, especially as we were buying our house, by the way, for another time. Scott but I just started writing and just trying to get connected back to me because I felt like I lost that connection. And around April, I just it just dawned on me. That voice said, it’s time to write your book. And so it was basically, what is it? Six or seven months ago, I started to write this thing. And it’s really a distillation of my last 20 year journey of breaking down the health model and kind of, I would say, exposing the limitations and flaws in it. Not to say it’s all bad, not to say that it’s not useful, because it clearly is. Sure. And then creating what I call the vitality paradigm. It’s a completely new set of rules to engage with life and a new way to measure vitality. And so my thing is, stop trying to be healthy. Start creating vitality. And so this book kind of lays out a template, a guideline to get started with that in the movement space. Like I said, the movement piece is where it started, the nutrition space and then the mindset space. And so it’s a compilation of all those things. Is it kind of autobiography or is it kind of a hero’s journey or what kind of it’s definitely my story is kind of the thread through the book, but they’re there’s a lot of info. This book, I’m not going to lie, but it also gives you very specific concrete things that you can use depending on which space you’re looking to level up in and try these principles and execute on them and see for yourself. But yes, my story is the thread, but my story is here to share these ads, ideas and principles with people and a ton of case studies because I’ve worked with thousands of people at this point over the last 20 years, I probably eliminated ten case studies. So also some real good practical stuff that I think a lot of people would see themselves in. I love it and I can’t wait to literally dig into it because there are certain parts of me that I know that I can pick up knowledge I get here and there that I can add to my arsenal because my story is a little bit similar are to yours as well. I was an arrogant guy printing money in the real estate market in the early two thousand s. I kind of literally lost everything and rebuilt it back to service and intention. So do me one last solid, Matt, and leave us with one last knowledge nugget we can take with us internalize and take action on. Again, I’m going to say if you’re looking to level up in anything in your life, I think the best first step is to slow down a little bit and really just take a breath, slow down, assess and then charge forward. But I think that pause is so important because I think when we get and I can speak for myself when I get excited about change, sometimes I sprint in a direction and then realize if I would have just taken 1 second, I might have changed the trajectory of the sprint. Sometimes a little bit, and at other times whoa. I would have really sprint in another direction here. Wow. In squad talk about some of it is highly sought after and just really giving us a free master class. My good friend Matthew LABOSCO here, he is a sporty guy and his health was getting trashed and all he was hearing is surgery, medicine, physical therapy, but none of them was really solving the root problem. So he started questioning everything. What do you say? Kind of like his five year old self, like his five year old son or whatnot? It’s going to question everything, you know, because underlying health model is not anchored to principle. That’s what we have right now with especially when it was like carbohydrates, proteins, fats, stuff like that stuff everybody works differently and how you’re going to feel. And Matt says asking people why do you eat the salad? Why do you eat this, why do you eat that? And the frameworks that kind of come out of that cause dependence on it which will not help you level up or anything he talked about, I loved. He said blackhawks. Because I was in Somalia, which people that know my story 93 with the whole movie that was made around it. But it’s true. They get in and out and look at that 20,000 foot view. With this helicopter analogy, he will help you calibrate to get out of survival mode into thrival mode, if that’s a word. But I’m using it today anyways. It is. And he also really wants to remind us just to trust yourself, to be relentless. Don’t settle. Put weight on those whispers. And if you get stuff like my good friend Leo Woodford would say, get your asking gear. Ask. There’s people out there that can help you level up and move forward. He wants to be someone that played a small role in nudging the trajectory of the community and the consciousness of the people. To really be more connected to yourself first and to be outwardly connected. He wants you to start from the inside worked out. He will be remembered as somebody that really slid across home plate for a sports metaphor. Bumped, bruised. But he knows he left the world in a better place. He’s planting trees he’s probably never going to sit in the shade of. And I just believe that my guy Matt here is somebody that does it for the intention, not the attention. He’s writing a book with case studies and something not so much for himself. And you. Look at me. Look at me. He’s using other people’s work to level himself up and to level you up. And lastly, he says, stop trying to be healthy and seek vitality. And in his book, he’ll get you there with that. And if you want to have a warm conversation with Matt, I’m sure I can help set that up. He levels up his health. He levels up his wealth. He’s humble, yet he’s hungry. He’s earned his varsity squad letter here. Time to shine today, brother. Thank you so much for coming out and absolutely love your guts. I can’t wait to meet in person, brother. I am so happy we did this, and I can’t wait to meet you, Scott, in awesome. In three dimensions. That’s right. We’ll chat soon, brother. Thanks, Scott.
Dr. Nathan and Dianne. Come on. Thank you so much. Introduce yourself to the Time to shine today podcast varsity squad. But first, what’s your guys favorite colors and why? Mine’s purple. Purple. Loving purple. Royalty. Regal, baby, regal. Yeah. And it’s in your color wheel stock. How about you? Yeah, mine is black, and I’ll tell you why. Because when I’m with all my grandkids and they always ask about favorite colors, nobody picks black. So I always pick that one, and they think it’s hilarious. I love it. I’ve had two out of over 400 pick black. You’re the second one. There you go. You’re an anomaly as well. So it’s let’s get a little bit to the origins, you know, before I don’t want to give too much away about the book because I’m going to do, you know, a five book giveaway to listeners. I mean, five lucky listeners are going to get free books on my dime. But let’s get to the origins, because, again, the coffee shop discussion at the very beginning of the book and how you got started a little bit doc, if you can get to the origins of where you guys were and then married those two together to build RCS. Where it’s going? Yeah, it started for me, most of my career for 28 years, was being a pastor of a church, and so I used a coaching style, and I didn’t know what to call it back then. Very conversational, very intentional with all of my staff and my key volunteers. Diane built a very successful Marriott K business, and so she had to consult all the women in her organization so that they could build their own businesses. So we did that, and we didn’t even know to call it coaching until many years later, but that’s kind of how we got started. Diane, did you exercise, actually? You have a pink car? Yes, I did. What kind? Cadillac. You had the caddy. Also, ask her how many cars she’s. One for free. How many? 13. Wow. That is amazing. For 26 years. And you can’t do that without really you can’t do that without really caring about the person and the people that you’re building your network with. And you don’t get to 13 cars without doing that. And that’s something that I kind of tell people that I’m even coaching, because I just believe that everybody knows what they want, they just don’t know how to talk themselves into doing it. And I believe that’s where coaching comes in. So I’ve got to ask you, when you guys are starting to work, we’re going to go outside of coaching coaches, but when you’re working with individuals that you’re coaching, what is maybe some of your guys’secret sauce that you use to maybe help them identify that blind spot for that an origin starting point? Well, for me, it’s asking lots of questions that they don’t think to ask themselves. Coaching really is a reaction to what you discover. And where I see a lot of we have to encourage a lot of coaches is you got to get a lot better on the discovery so that it becomes clear on how to coach them. And you can only discover by getting into their story, their personalities, their challenges, their fears, their aspirations, and that takes a while. So we call it professional curiosity, but that’s that sounds simple, but you’ll be amazed at how many coaches tried to jump to the coaching, and they don’t have crystal clear direction on where to really help the person go. I love that. How about you, Diane? Yeah, mine that initial time with them, the first question I asked them is, tell me a little bit about yourself. And I know that if she leads with her career achievement, I know that’s what’s important to her. If she leaves telling me about her family and each little child and everything about her kids, I know that’s what’s most important in her life. So I really paid. Attention of that. What is her first thing she leads with? I love it. I’m just hearing to beginning with questions and really leaning in and listening and really finding what they have. And I love that you said doc professional curiosity because literally I have a whole plaque up here that says be curious. And then literally a little tape on my monitor says be curious because curiosity to me is the biggest superpower in your anybody can ever have. Nothing was invented without curiosity that we’re using on our computers or our smartphones and whatnot they’re very curious about. Thank you for saying that. So if you’re working with a client or let’s say we’re in the discovery period, is there any good question that maybe you wish they would ask you but never do? What do you wish she would have done differently? Love it. I don’t get a lot of questions. I’ve never had someone ask me that, Scott. So I really. Appreciate it, and I think it’s because I’m so intentional. They really feel like they’re the focus. They don’t ask me. So after they get to know me a little bit, they’ll ask me a little bit about how I got into this. Do you realize you’re basically reading my mind? People tell you that? How do you do that? Right. That’s about it, really. And back kind of to what Diane said is like, I want to share my mistakes. I want to share super transparent with my clients because it brings it down to a human level. That’s the one question either where are you taking me? Or what have you did or what you have done differently. I love that. I love it. So with regards to how do I say this? Let’s go into a company. You guys are going to coach it. You have the CEO generally. The one that reaches out or to me anyways and says, hey, I’d like you to come in and talk to somebody. The CEO wants you to come in and help with transformation and help But there’s always that one person within the organization. level them up. It’s like, why are you bringing someone else in? This may be on the little bit lower. How would you go about coaching them from the start and getting them on board for your protocol? Their concern is, we’re bringing somebody from outside of our culture, and we’re giving them open access. Yes, sir. Why are we doing that? Well, the first thing I tell them is, who in your organization is telling your boss how to leave? Nobody. Right. Who in your organization is giving your boss feedback on how he is coming across to his direct importance? Who do you have in your organization that doesn’t work for you and is not afraid to be fired? So. Can just tell them what I see. Love it. And that’s the value of an outsider coming in is they’re going to see things that nobody in the organization sees. I mean, that’s typically my response. I love it. Diane. I’m drawing a blank on that because everything you said is kind of no, that’s for you guys are so married together, by the way. Wait, how many years? 35 and a half. 35. So feel like 35 minutes underwater. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I heard that at an anniversary party once. Funny. Anyway, so let’s talk a little bit about strengths. We’ll start with Diane. What do you feel really your strengths are when it comes to coaching and leading? Yeah. Really connecting quickly. It on a personal level. Gaining trust quickly, just out of my sincerity that I think comes across and being open and trust. Parent like we kind of alluded to before. Very willing to share what I’ve learned in the process. Mistakes I’ve made just really a big encourager to them, believing in them. Love it. Yeah. Doc, two things. One, I don’t miss much from shoe color, grammar, what you say when you first sit down, how many times you use a particular word. I’ve noticed that’s a gift that I have that I just don’t miss a whole lot. And I use that to my advantage. For instance, the client will come in and I’ll say, hey, two times ago when we met, you said this. I’ve been thinking about that. Tell me more what you meant by that. Unpack. That beautiful. So that’s been very helpful, as I’m extremely observant. And the second thing that I realized is a natural talent and I’ve had to help other coaches. Develop is timing. So the key on when to share your story or when to tell that truth or to ask that hard question just because you have it correct doesn’t necessarily mean this is the time to say it. Got to pay attention to the receptivity level of the client. And if you can get your timing right, they receive it much better, much quicker, and it goes much steeper. Love that. With regards to the questions, that might start with the why, how do you coach that out of a coach? To teach them how to do it? Yes, sir. When we actually have taken people through our certification, I will ask them to take notes on the questions ends. I want to see every question that you ask them. Love it. And I’ll just look through how many watts, how many why, depending. So they’ll walk me back through the conversation, and I’ll say, that On. would have been a perfect time to go to motive. Which is the why question. Yeah, absolutely. An action. Hey, you should have asked an action. When are you going to do that? That’s a win question. Right? Because I’m guilty of it. Especially my earlier days. I’d ask it, but try to be gentle about it. But still, that WH eye kind of sets off judgmentalism if it’s not used correctly. I know you guys kind of mentioned that also in the book a little bit as well, and really unpacking and digging deep. So how about weaknesses? Diane? What weaknesses do you feel that you need to work on? Inspecting? What I expect. Love it’s. It’s transparent. Yeah. Am I really following back up on certain things that I’m expecting from them? I have to work always at being intentional of inspecting what I expect from them. We’re like brothers and sisters from different mysteries on that one because that’s the same with me. How about you, Doc? Any weaknesses you like to work on? Completely perfect. I have the complete opposite problem where I’m much more interested in Scott moving forward. And if I’m not on my game that day, I may get ahead of myself and I’ll get pushy because it doesn’t bother me when people push back. Oh, yeah. And I can get ahead and I can get more tactic oriented, solution oriented, progress oriented. And I have to slow down, especially if I’m working with someone who’s highly relational. Right. They would prefer to work with Diane, not me, because she’s so relational. And so I have to work on the opposite of what Diane? I have no problems holding people accountable. I do have a problem sometimes, carry, because. Got you clunky in our marriage in the beginning, too. Does those different styles describe right. So how do you do you guys ever start working with somebody and say, well, maybe it would be better for Doc or maybe better for Diane? Has that happened? No, because we don’t split the money. So I want to keep up with revenue for myself. I love it, being honest. That’s beautiful. Matter of fact, I had a client yesterday and I’ve already made up my mind. I’m going to refer her to Julie, one of my affiliates. Good. I definitely refer out because I know what I’m good at. Yes, sir. And if they’re wanting more from me than what I can give them, I think they deserve that. Yeah, but not from me. I believe you’re probably good enough to know it within the first couple of conversations, too, which really keeps the ball rolling for them. It’s cliche. I use the Ford acronym family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. That’s where I really start the hour of power with them Fo, rd. And I’ll know off of that if they’re the right person, if I need to maybe play some with another coach because I’m not pushy, but I’m very motivated. It’s a military six tours downrange in Iraq and Afghanistan, whatever, to really like, focus in. But some people need a little bit more. And I tried to be that person and I wasn’t the right person for them in that moment and I really wasn’t serving them well. So I love that you are transparent enough to say, doc, that you will give them to somebody that will help them better. That’s fantastic. So you guys seen the movie? It’s a little bit older, but have you seen the movie Back to the Future? It’s in a long time. Let’s get in that DeLorean with Marty McFly. Let’s go back to the 22 we’ll start with Diane. Let’s go back to the 22 year old Diane. Certainly not. Knowledge nuggets, we call them here. Tom Chen today, is there any knowledge nuggets you might drop on her? Not so much. Change your journey, because your journey has been pretty fruitful in connecting and also but maybe help shorten that learning curve a little bit to maybe help her level up, maybe just a little bit quicker. Do not be so concerned about what other people think. I’m a people pleaser by nature. And I can remember when I thought about leaving corporate America. Well, I did leave corporate America, really to be a stay at home mom. That’s where it began. But then when I decided while being a stay at home mom, I wanted to start this business, I thought about, oh, but my parents paid for my college degree. I have a college degree. I’m going to try something. And I’m not using my college degree. You know, I just worried too much about what people thought, I think. Okay, beautiful. I was caught in that, too. And then my mentor and coach said. He gave me two New Year’s resolutions to make every single day of the year. One makes someone smile every day, and I do that. I’m just a goofy, 260 pound big guy. Right. But also, unless I’ve heard you disrespected you or owe you, I really don’t care what you think about me anymore. I used to really care about that. But how about flip to you, Doc? How about you? For sure. Don’t say everything you’re thinking. Would he have listened at 22? No, I would have told you what I was thinking about what you just said. Were you guys from Ohio originally, or were you from always from Tulsa, Oklahoma? Tulsa. Okay. For some reason, I thought that I was wrong on that. So we’ll start with docking this one. But how do you want your dash remembered? That little line in between your incarnation date and your expiration date, your life date and your death date? Hopefully, it’s way down the road. But how do you want your dash remembered? Intentional. Great steward. That would mean so much to me that someone would say, that guy leveraged everything he had for the benefit of other people. So whether it’s money, time, talent, network ideas, but intentional stewardship of the little space and time I’ve been given, that would mean a lot to me. It’s leaving like Jesus right there, man. That’s pretty awesome. How about you, Diane? That she loved and served everybody well in her life. That’s awesome. It’s straight to the point. That’s fantastic. So, Diane, what do you think people might misunderstand the most about you? I can be competitive really, with that, because when Doc said, we don’t split the money, I looked at Diane, and her face was like. I can see that competitive coming out and it’s beautiful. How about you, Doc? Well, we’ll be out on the golf course later and she will take a picture of every ball when she outdrives me and texts it to her best friend or the family. That’s how competitive she is. How about you? You have that competition bug. Yeah, but I’m a lot more stealthy. I won’t admit it. I cannot stand second place. Go home like first loser, right? I’m 50 years old. I’ve been competing and grappling jiu jitsu since my twenty s. And that’s what I want. To win so bad. That’s the thing. But sometimes that might spill over into my coaching because I want them to win so bad. And that’s where my weakness is. I want for them more than they want for themselves. Times and that’s where I’ve really kind of honed my skills and continue to work to hone my skills so how about you doc? Does anything keep you up at night? Not really when I started the lead self lead others for sure I would wake up thinking is this idea crazy? Is our best bank going repossessed my house? How come that guy hasn’t called me back? Who am I fooling? Imposter syndrome big time right? Wow I remember having to work on a new anxiety level I’d never had before that can definitely keep you up without a doubt out keep you going you want to lay it all on God, right? But he made us human to experience that and it could get to you how about you, Diana? Are you like my lady Susan that can just. Fall asleep in 8 seconds. I think it’s just the one thing Nathan said for me. If I haven’t heard back from somebody or they didn’t return the phone call, then I’m should I call again? How many messages do you leave? Why haven’t heard back? What does that mean? What are they thinking? That’s probably the one thing that might look at my head. How about just just maybe one question? I’m leaving some wisdom with the new coaches within that first conversation. How do you want that first conversation to go? With a coach with their first client? Do you guys at RCS real coaching success really push when they’re starting that discovery conversation? What is the one thing that you want them to get out of that? Well, there’s the tactical side. You got to get enough information that you can go home and convert that into a proposal that makes it easy for the client that’s. Say yes. That’s the practical thing. But what I want on the developmental side is I want to say, hey, would you do well? What did you in the moment your instincts kicked in? Because I want to bring attention to the fact that they’ve got good instincts. They need to get their reps in just like everybody else. Everything, yeah. Don’t let your missteps and your fear and your uncertainty over obscure the fact that you got good instincts as a coach. Right. So I always like to ask them, hey, in that session, what are you most proud of? That you did that you just did it instinctively. And I always try and highlight that to them. That’s beautiful. That’s awesome. I just like to leave that conversation. I didn’t sign them with that, for lack of a better term, in a place of possibility instead of affordability. And then that really has helped me out, leaving them in that states. So, Diane, what is your definition of a life will live? That anybody? Well, that I think goes back to that I’ve loved everybody well served, people well, everybody knows I love the Lord, and absolutely, I make impact where I can, that I’m intentional. That’s beautiful. How about you, Doc? I didn’t hear the question. What would you think your definition of a life well lived is? That everything I did ended up with me achieving the status that I finished well, like Paul said, right? Yeah. Really? Best race, man. That’s awesome. I’ve worked with a lot of guys that have stumbled, made mistakes, been fired, whether personal. Life mistakes, professional life mistakes, and I want to let them share that with me. And then, at the right time, say, hey, look, let me tell you something. It’s about finishing. And based on my ability to look, right now, you’re not dead. You don’t even have to be a medical doctor for that. Yeah. So I think we have some hope here. And it takes time. Love it. That’s what I want to focus on, is living, getting back to a lifestyle and leadership so that when it’s time for you to hang it up, you can say, Man, I finished. Well, love it. That’s awesome. And, squad, we’re going to take my good friend Dr. Nathan and his lovely wife Diane through our Leveling up lightning round just as soon as we get back from thinking our sponsors and affiliates. Time to shine. Today podcast. Varsity squad. We are back. And next time I’m in Tulsa, I’m going to definitely look you up, and I’m sure we’ll go over a few of these questions. Maybe 1520. But you guys have 5 seconds with no explanations whatsoever. Minutes on each one. And they can all be answered that way. You guys ready to level up? Okay. All right. We’ll start with Diane. Diane, what is the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received? All you can do is ask. All I can say is yes. I love it. How about you, Doc? Make it easy for people to say a yes to you. Beautiful. Love that. Share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success. Defined. Work hours. Beautiful. Dan, as an entrepreneur, we do whatever we want to do, right? Work hours. Dan. Exercise, man. Taking care of the body. Exercise. Love it. So if you see me walking down the street, man, like Fergie looks like he’s in his indulgence a little bit. Other than the good book, what book might you hand me to level me up? Your one and only life Great book. Doctors, too. I love that book. But one I’ve been giving out quite a bit is 4000 Weeks. Oh, Jason Holzer just mentioned that to me. Okay, that’s on my list. Great. Excellent philosophical book on time. Yeah. It’s time management. It’s the philosophy of time. And I think it’s healthy for people that want to live intentionally to understand their own view of time. Beautiful. Your most commonly used emoji, Diane. When you text the face with the three purple Hearts. Beautiful. Doc, you’re not going to believe this, but I’ve never used one. Okay, very cool. That’s good enough. How about nicknames growing up, Doc? Nate the snake. Love it. How about you, Diane? Duck. The last name was Duckworth and everybody called me Duck. Got you. All right. Diane Chess. Checker is a monopoly. Monopoly. How about you, Duck? None. Don’t like board games. Love it. Go to ice cream flavor, Doc. Well, vanilla. I really don’t eat ice cream. Me too. It’s my teeth. How about you, Diane? Chocolate chip mint. Mint chocolate chip. So there’s a sandwich called Nate the Snake. What’s on that sandwich, Doc? Build it for me. Yeah, every meat you got in the fridge and then the garden on top. How about the duck? What’s on that sandwich? Probably turkey and Swiss panini style. Oh, yeah. Beat that thing up. Beautiful. All right. Favorite charity and organization you like to give your time or money to? Well, local church, for sure, but we also. A ministry that is for women professional golfers. Very cool. Both of you guys. Yeah, I’m beautiful. Beautiful. Alright, last question. You can elaborate on this one a little bit, but what do you feel is the best decade of music? Or nineties? Eighties. Me too. I’m right there with the eighties. How about you, doc? You listen to music? I’m all over the map. And then Beethoven. I love it. Beautiful. So how can we find you? Well, Lead Selfleadeathers.com is my one that’s been around for 15 years now. It’s what we do with all of our coaching and any consulting. And then Realcoachingsuccess.com is our new baby. It’s about two years old and kind of free stuff on there for anybody interested in coaching. Okay, let’s go ahead. Bit deeper into real coaching success, like the coaches that are out there listening, because I probably have over 1000 of them in my email directory and I want to make sure this gets in front of them, like give us a little gist of what they can expect when they dig into RCS. Well, you’re going to see me interview. I’ve got about ten interviews with coaches from around the country with a variety of personal personalities and I did that for a reason to encourage someone who maybe needs to see somebody different than me. We’ve done webinars with some very gifted coaches asking them to give us their secret sauce for some of their best tools, how they stay motivated. We’ve just launched the certification course and you can read about that where we’ll actually train you how to go from how to spell the word coach all the way up to 90 days past your business launch party and how to market it and build your data. So we go all the way from zero to skills up to launching your Space. business. Because basically what we did is we just went back and documented what we did. Right. The first thing we got coming up is Diane and I are going to start a podcast probably in two months. Okay. We’re going to debrief the week of coaching together. Okay. Just going to go back and forth. What was your highest? What was your low? What you learn? What are you excited about? And the idea is to just bring fellow coaches into my little office here, where we’re just hanging out, and we’re just talking about our journey of coaching just as a way to encourage people. That’s amazing. I love that you guys are keeping the coaching community close and bringing more people in to do it to where I feel it’s the right way to be able to grow a business. Yeah. We’re going to have a segment in there called Real Coaching Tips and Tips, where we’re going to crack a new bottle of wine that’s. Our sawmier has gotten us all these weird wines. We’re going to toss that right in the middle of the podcast and just have something quirky in there about, hey, what do you taste? What do you think? That’s cool. That’d be a lot of fun when you think that you’re going to drop that launch. Oh, nice. Very cool. Make sure I’m on that list. Definitely. Get on there. Listen to it. I’m going to ask you to do me one last solid and share each one of you. Share like a knowledge nugget that the listeners can take with them internalize and take action on. You want to go back? No, I need a minute. Wait, ask the question again. Just one last knowledge nugget. Just a little maybe encouragement or something that people can take with them internalize and take action. I got something. Hun. I’ll go. Okay. I can’t encourage coaches strong enough to pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about just because. You don’t have a website. You can’t even spell the word coach. You can’t answer questions like, who’s going to hire me? What should I charge? That’s just all noise. Pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about. So whether it’s coaching or launching a new business or whatever, but I believe that that is in you for a reason. Because you have 99 questions you can’t answer. You shouldn’t ignore. The one thing that you have to be honest about is man, I can’t stop thinking about it. Wow, that’s amazing. But you miss Dan, so I’m thinking, don’t compare yourself to do that. We compare ourselves to the other coach. Pay attention to who you are, how God made you, how he designed you. Take him as your business partner. He knows you. He knows your heart. He knows your strengths. He knows your weaknesses. He does have plans for success for you. And you need to just lean into who you are. Not compare. That is strong. That is strong. Thank you for saying that and both of you guys for being so transparent. Squad. I just had a fun conversation with Dr. Nathan and Diane, and I have knowledge upon knowledge, and I guess from just their book alone, which will be in the show notes, I’m going to do five separate book giveaways. For anyone that puts for real coaching success within any of our social media. Or if you email me back with that or text us at 561-440-3830. I’m going to buy five books and Dr. Nathan, Diane, hopefully will sign them and I’ll take care of the postage as well to get them out. So just leave that within any of the social or email or text, whatever it is, we’ll get that book out to you. But they both spoke about listening and really listening closely while asking powerful questions. Really listening with their neck leaning in for the answers and to be able to build that game plan that is going to help you get into the stratosphere success for whatever you’re going for during the discovery period. Make sure that you’re clear on their intentions and also your intentions. Be very transparent. Diane mentioned ask your coach what you may have did differently. That coach should be very transparent in what that answer is going to be. If they feel like they’re hiding it, that might not be the right coach for you because they’re expecting you to be that. Also, Diane said, don’t be so concerned about what other people think. Be yourself, be authentic, be a nice person, but don’t really care because what they think really doesn’t matter to what’s going to happen with you. And Doc says he wants to be be a good, intentional person, a great steward, that he leveraged everything he has for the benefit of And I also believe that Jesus did that as well. others. Both will be remembered as someone that loved and served. They are going to slide across home plate when it’s all said and done and God calls them home but knowing that they left the world in a better place because right now they’re planting trees that they probably will never sit in the shade of for what they’re doing. For coaches, if you’re stuck on something, don’t be afraid to ask. They want you to get your like my good friend Leah Woodford would say, get your asking here. Ask the right great people. There are coaches, there are people out there that will help you do that. Doc reminded us, pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about. Like, I have monkey mind, but there’s usually that one thing that sits at the top of the brain and really pay attention that dig in. And if you have a coach, call them, talk to them about if you have a counselor, a pastor, whoever you have, talk to them to really dig deep and unpack that. And again, Diane said, be authentic. Take God as your business partner. Lean into him. Lean on him. Because whether you’re God or your creator or whatnot, they want success for you. In all areas of your life. And both of these, my good friends here, level up their health. They level up their wealth. They both earn their varsity letters here. Time to shine today. Thank you so much for coming on, guys, and I can’t wait to collaborate with you in the future. Thank you, Scott. You bet. Chat soon. Okay. See you.

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