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Speech Transcript

0:00  

Hey this is Karen gray with Coach Karen gray. And if you really want to learn how to level up your life, you should be listening to the time to shine today podcast with my amazing rock moving friend Scott Ferguson.

0:13  

Time to shine today podcast varsity sweater to Scott Ferguson and we are at Episode 179. With my good friend today, Coach Karen gray, fantastic coach uses one of the same taglines as I do is level up. I guess I’ll allow her to do that. Just kidding. No, I love this lady love love lover has a background in finance. Now she’s really helping the females out there really level up. She’s, again just a fantastic coach. She’s going to be remembered for what she’s left behind as she transitions through life and she just touches so many people and allows you to carry your lessons forward and not what she calls the rocks. So without further ado, here’s my really good friend coach Karen gray. Let’s level up.

1:05  

Time to shine today Barsky squatted is Scott Ferguson and I have when she’s feeling sassy, they call her Karen Kay, but her name is coach Karen, Karen gray. She is an absolute Rockstar who helps out the ladies out there really, really level up their life. She was originally known as the my speech speech coach, which I should probably hire to I don’t know she takes my mom. But she’s a confidence and speech coach to young ladies across the United States. and Canada. Karen was a or is a financial advisor began writing speeches and coaching part time in 2008. What a hell of a year to be doing that two other thing was kind of falling apart. But what started as a necessity for a single mom blossomed into a side hustle and ultimately became a full time passion, which she’s a rock star at today. Karen is an international mindset and professional speaker whose mission is to help women level up which we have the same tagline. So I love that they level up their confidence to pursue their dreams, business, career calling and best life. And Karen, thank you so much for coming on the time to shine today podcast if you could please introduce yourself to the varsity squad. But first, what’s your favorite color? And why?

2:19  

I absolutely love purple. Thank you for asking Scott. And I am blessed to be here. I’m so excited to to just be on here with you. Thank you. Hi. To what we’re grateful. Absolutely. Yeah. So it’s also the universal color for survivors, cancer survivors. And that’s a huge passion of mine as well. So my sister in law is currently going through a situation I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but she’s an amazing woman. She has a brain tumor. And she is just fighting strong. So I don’t know anybody that cancer hasn’t affected. Oh, yeah, no. Taking that mentality of being a survivor is something that helps us all to level up.

3:08  

I love that, that you actually kind of align that purple, which is true with a cancer survivor. I mean, unfortunately, I lost my mom to bring cancer in 2019 last year in September. So you know, I will say a different prayer for your sister in law with her battle. That’s, that’s fantastic to have people like you that are just surrounded and be able to lift her up and level her up during these times is definitely key. But and then I appreciate you coming on again, coach, could you kind of give us the origins of Karen, and then kind of where you started and how you really started to kind of mold the leveling up for the ladies out there.

3:43  

Yeah, gosh, that can be a really deep conversation. So um, but I grew up in New Mexico. I grew up actually on an Indian Reservation. And so I just had a really crazy diverse childhood that changed and evolved as I then moved to Florida lived in Tallahassee went to FSU for a while. Yeah, go Knowles, right. And I’ve kind of been all over and what I’ve experienced through that is some amazing things that just really, you know, we are the culmination of our past. And what I’ve learned through that is to never prejudge anyone, and that we all come with these bags from our past. So if you’ve lived any kind of life, you’ve got baggage. And it’s up to it’s up to us to choose what we carry in those bags and how we use them to either level us up to the next part of our journey, or they can just drag us down into the muck in the mire of daily life, we allow him so it’s really just a mindset decision. And it can be absolutely transformational if you allow it because we can choose to carry the lessons We can carry the actual blocks. All right?

5:03  

What did you say carry the lessons or the or the what? Well, we

5:07  

can carry the rocks.

5:08  

Gotcha. So when you’re working with clients, then are you digging into their past Are you kind of learn about their past, start where they’re at and then level them up forward.

5:20  

You know, everybody’s at a different place when they come to coaching. And so it’s really up to them. I don’t have a one size fits all coaching plan. I really just address what they’re comfortable. And sometimes when you get to asking the right questions, and you just stay curious, which coaches we’re not supposed to figure stuff out for people, we’re supposed to help them, figure it out for themselves, because the answers are within us. Absolutely. Sometimes we’re just not ready to face those answers. We’re not ready to ask ourselves those questions. So it’s just helping them to take that next step. And then next steps. So you know, once they’re ready to dig deep, you know, the solutions are there, the answers are there. And once you take the power away from the pain, and you really just embrace the lesson, it helps you stop making that cycle over and over again, and you get to just move forward in a new path.

6:20  

I love that. Thank you for saying that, that take the power away from the pain and embrace those lessons. So what was your fork in the road moment, then that really kind of said, Okay, what what was the instance that said, Okay, I’m gonna take this path to help ladies level up.

6:38  

Yeah, um, so kind of, as you mentioned, I started coaching young girls that were in the pageant world, oh, my daughter was running for pageants. And she was reading from this radio, whatever, internet news, radio, Texas and go into this radio America. And I started coaching other girls as my daughter started having success, because I started it because I couldn’t afford to hire somebody. So I coached her, I suppose, professionally as an advisor. So I coached her with what I knew. And then she started winning. So I started coaching other girls, parents started asking me for help. And I just started seeing that there’s this common thread. And every single person, even though we think that person got it all together, hmm. They didn’t think that. Yeah, that’s true.

7:29  

That’s true. And especially when you’re in that lifestyle of a very highly competitive lifestyle, too, that they’re really underneath that surface, like almost like they’re a duck on water, right? where, you know, they look fine on the surface. But if you look underneath the water, they’re going like this, just the flow, right?

7:46  

Yes, yes. And, you know, no matter where we are in life, we’re our own worst credit. Sure, so hard on ourselves, we think we should be somewhere further along than we are sure. But ultimately, we all have these issues internally, where someone has said something to us, usually in our childhood, probably between the ages of four and maybe 13. Right, right. But they’ve said something that has formed these ideas and assumptions about who we are, right? What like, what our value is what we’re capable of. And that stays with us. And so when you’re putting yourself out there to be judged, whether it’s in a contest, or you know, in a relationship, or you know, on social media, you’re gonna compare yourself in all of your flaws and brokenness, to what you think is someone else’s, you know, amazingness, right, right, we’re all gonna level up, you’re ever gonna meet that assumptive other person, right? It really doesn’t exist. They don’t,

8:56  

they don’t. And the funny thing is, all the greatness in the genius is actually inside us. They just need someone like you to help open some of the doors so they can walk through I love I love the way that you put that. So when you’re starting to work with a client, if you don’t mind sharing a little bit of your secret sauce that you kind of do to help them find their blind spot.

9:17  

So really, it’s just asking the right questions. And there’s there’s no secret sauce other than to remain for me to remain unattached to their in results so that I can remain impartial and just curious, to help them to the next level, the next level. The next realization for them, sure. And that’s hard for me because I care so deeply about people I really want to, I want to get invested in them and I want to cheer them on and you can’t, can’t really do that and coach them on well,

9:55  

right. Absolutely. I’d love that. Right? That’s right, you have to be a little bit impartial to it, and not attach yourself to their outcome, their end, but help guide them to where they feel that they should be going. I love that so,

10:10  

but you can ask them those questions and just help them to see some things that maybe they’re aware of that they don’t want to accept, that are things that they’re doing. And then just ask them, you know, how could you see that differently? What would be the result if you chose to see it this way? Or if you chose to see it, the way that you want it to be? How would you feel if you embrace this ideal life that you really want? What would be different?

10:41  

Wow,

10:42  

somebody feels like, you know, this, this really could be possible for me and I can, I can see it’s not from step one to step 100. Now it’s step one to step two to step three. Now it becomes possible love that belief follows that. Absolutely. We

10:59  

say here time to shine today. inch by inch, it’s a cinch by the yard, it’s hard. So let them baby step like you said said a one to 101 to two to three. I love that. So if I’m out in a networking event with Sharon, Florida and no matter what the media says we’re able to do it we still go out we practice school safety and, and whatnot. In someone I’m listening to somebody, you know, we’re having kind of a one on one conversation, what kind of things are they saying to me? That would make them a good contact connection or referral to coach Karen.

11:33  

I think I hate to say I think what I feel like is the universe kind of drawing me to people, if you will, who I just resonate with, because I don’t pretend to be something I’m not so if you want, if you’re someone out there, a woman that’s struggling with authenticity, someone that’s struggling with the imposter syndrome, like I just I don’t see that I’m good enough. I don’t feel like I’m good enough. So they’re using words that are i don’t i can’t i won’t i’m not i’m not only can I help those women because I have the the education and the training and the skills. But I think the difference for me is I’m strong enough to say I’ve been there so you relatable to it. I just I love it. And I know what that feels like I know the struggle and the pain that comes along with that. I’m never ever going to be measured up and mine goes way deep. I was adopted when I was born and I formed these ideas around my adoption

12:46  

need to

12:48  

come from the same sheet there.

12:52  

You know, so I think there’s some special pain there for adoptees and and then when you have any kind of rejection issues. So wherever that came from, those are things that I can really help you to take those rocks out, identify the rock identify the lesson, and then help someone choose which one do you want to carry? forward? Which ones serving you

13:20  

sure. Love that? So then what keeps Karen up at night?

13:25  

Everything. I have teenagers, I have grandkids.

13:31  

Wow. Okay. All right.

13:33  

I started when I was fine. Okay.

13:37  

I do immaculate thing.

13:41  

grandkids I do have older kids and then I have some young teenagers. I think what really keeps me up is I’ve made a ton of mistakes in my life. I want to help people to make their own don’t make mine. Okay. Love it. And you know, who can I get in front of how do I get in front of someone that I can help? How can I help that next person and what am I doing to get in the way of being available for them? That’s a love that’s such a go giving spirit right there.

14:13  

You know You sound just like you’re reading a bob Berg book there. I don’t know if you know who Bob is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he’s my neighbor here. There’s a few doors down. That’s that’s just fantastic. Love the guy love the guy. So how do you want your dash Remember,

14:29  

you know that little line? Your first date and your death date?

14:33  

Yeah. incarnation date and your expiration date. How? How do you want that remembered?

14:42  

You know, I have thought about that. But I feel like that’s really evolved through my last year. I really want to I want to live a legacy. I want to live a legacy of love and I want people to know that they mattered. So if someone’s looking at my dash, I want them to feel like they don’t miss me because I’m gone. But they’re better because I live love.

15:14  

I love it. I

15:14  

love it. I love that. So let’s get in that DeLorean though, then with Marty McFly. Let’s go back to the 22 year old coach Karen Well, she wasn’t a coach probably back then. But let’s go back to the 22 year old Karen, what kind of knowledge nuggets as we call them your time to shine today? What kind of knowledge nuggets are you dropping on? Karen to help her shorten the learning curve blast through and maybe level up quicker?

15:42  

Probably not she was. But I’m at 22 that’s when I was searching for my birth parents. And I’m really trying to figure out who I was and why I was here. Why this journey for me so I would impart trust the process. stop caring so much about the opinions of others who aren’t adding to my life. The people who have no say they’re not giving they’re not you know they have they have no bearing do it anyway. And my my phrase, I got one of those bracelets that you can put words on an eye on the blink on impact bracelet. But my phrase for this year is do it scared.

16:38  

Haha. That’s my quote. You know?

16:41  

Yeah.

16:43  

What’s your quote

16:43  

as I do it scared. I say that every single time I’ll code you live I live by don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never make it out alive and to do it scared. I love that. I love it. So what? What do people misunderstand most about Karen?

16:58  

I think sometimes I’m I’m really serious. And it’s because I just I see situations that I just want to make them better. I am full of emotions. And I love big. I love hard. But I think they misunderstand some of that for

17:24  

being almost overly competitive, not compassionate. Yeah, I can feel like I’m the same way. I’m very I grew up competitive in combat sports even to this day. So I get it people be like Dan, Fergie is like, off the charts when they see me if we will have an adult beverage or we’re just hanging out. They’re like, Man, you’re actually pretty chill, dude. People do a misunderstanding a lot with that. So what is Karen’s definition of a life well lived?

17:51  

Wow. Um, if I can live out that example of my dash. And if people just know that I cared, I cared big that their life was better. Just for, you know, the, the opportunity that they gave me to know them and to bring to them. That’s, that’s, well it. Love it. I’m connected to to Julie Ziegler, Ziggs. Daughter, and she’s my mentor and lifelong friends. And I just absolutely embrace and embody the lessons from her dad. And

18:32  

I speak with his son. So like, yeah, so it’s it. You’re right, man. It’s fantastic. What they bring so as we look, you know, wind things down here. Just a little bit coach. We’d like to do our leveling up lightning round. And you and I could talk 1520 minutes on each one of these. But you got five seconds, no explanations. I’m serious. No explanations. We will be sure that now they can all be answered quickly. All right. Ready to level up.

19:00  

Ready. There

19:01  

we go. What’s the best leveling up advice Karen’s have received.

19:05  

Do it scared, all that?

19:07  

Sure. One of your personal habits that contributes to

19:09  

success? journaling.

19:12  

Beautiful. So I’m in my doldrums just not feeling it? What book are you saying Fergie? read this book. it’ll it’ll help you level up. So there you go. Good answer. Good answer. What’s your most commonly used emoji when you text?

19:29  

Her eyes?

19:30  

Hard eyes beautiful.

19:32  

Well, not everything.

19:33  

I love it. I love it. So

19:34  

who had the biggest profound impact on your life? Julie, Julie Ziegler.

19:39  

Love it. Love it so physically and don’t lie and bullshit and say it’s your age. Now physically, if you can stay one age for the rest of your life had the wisdom you have now and continue to learn what was that age

19:53  

39 Baba great age great

19:54  

age.

19:55  

Is there any favorite charity and organization you’d like to give your time and or money to

20:01  

Wow, um,

20:04  

gosh, there’s so many good ones. I’m gonna have to just pick one. You can pick a couple,

20:11  

I’ll give you a little leeway on this question.

20:14  

Okay, so there’s some the pregnancy resource centers that support adoption and helping moms to, you know, just not consider abortion as the only option that they have. I’m 100% supportive that being adopted, you know, abortion considered so I’m really grateful to be here. Yeah, um, gosh, that true true cancer patient services. Maybe not the the big ones that you would consider but the one, the boots on the ground that are really helping to fund love it. There’s some local organizations here and that actually, you know, they give you gas cards and things for patients, you can actually have a hotel. I love that.

21:04  

I love it. Good for you. And last question. What is the best decade of music 6070s 80s

21:11  

or 90s?

21:12  

There you go. Big hair don’t care, right?

21:16  

Hair spray,

21:17  

there you go. Ozone Layer who needs it? Now it’s funny. It’s like the 80s is awesome. Because, you know, you had the you know, you had, you know, big hair don’t care. You had the British invasion, you know, the Irish invasion with you, too. Yeah, rap music, you know, they had everything in there. And

21:37  

I was in high school in the 80s. So, you know, early 80s rollers at all the music, and then later on, my first concert I ever went to was AC DC, New Mexico. Why my parents let me drive to that at 16 years old.

21:56  

My parents would let me drive from Detroit to Chicago, when I was like a junior in high school and be like, Oh, just make sure you call us from a payphone. You know, here’s what nobody makes. How can we find you coach,

22:11  

Coach Karen gray, you can just look up coach Karen gray with an A D or a y on LinkedIn, social media. Everywhere my websites coach Karen grey.com.

22:23  

All those will be in the shownotes. And Coach, leave us with one last Knowledge Nugget. You can repeat something you said before it’s fine. But leave us with one last Knowledge Nugget that you want us to take with us internalize and take action.

22:37  

Wow, no pressure here. Um, I think that the biggest nugget that I want to share with anybody is to believe in the beauty of your brokenness.

22:50  

Oh, wow,

22:52  

there is there’s such wisdom there. There’s experience there. That’s where you’re vulnerable, where people can relate to you at and it’s in that brokenness that you can truly find the biggest gifts, because that’s where you learn. I mean, you don’t learn when you’re up on your highest moment to learn when you’re really in that broken.

23:14  

It’s true. It’s true if you if you create it

23:17  

running from it.

23:18  

I’m a man of faith, you know, so I mean, even in, you know, Psalms 2030, which pretty much everyone knows that even if they’re not people of faith, but it doesn’t say you wail through the valley of shadow death, you are walking through it, you keep going you keep rockin, you know, to believe in the beauty of your brokenness. I love that in squad, we just had a free masterclass presented to you by my really good friend, Coach Karen gray, you know that she might have said, We’re the culmination of our past that we should never prejudge anyone, and instead, understand that everyone has baggage, respect that baggage, okay, and understand that, you know, we can either make a choice to carry the lessons or the rocks, I say, carry the lessons because you can learn so much and pull it forward. She’s not a cookie cutter coach at all, which if you listen to this podcast, you’ll understand what I’m saying, you know, she wants you to take the power away from the pain and embrace the lessons and not the rocks. Okay? You know, a good coach is going to remain curious, curious and impartial. And she will want you to ask what would the result be if you choose to see it how you want to be and then take that from inch by inch, it’s essential to really move forward to that not from zero to 100, but from zero to one and take those steps and coach Karen, will you put it this way, if you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, you know, I don’t I can’t I want I’m not. Karen is the one that I would love, love, love to introduce you to she’s a living legacy that has a go giver spirit. She’s going to tell you to trust the process, trust the process, and don’t care about the opinions of those not adding to your life. And then again, you know, believe in the beauty of your brokenness, everybody has their problems. Let’s pull the goodness from those forward and help you out. up and I’m so blessed to have you on Karen, you level up your health level up your wealth. You’re such an awesome family. matriarch. You’re just humble yet you’re hungry. I can’t wait to do some collaborations with you because so many of our things align. So I love, love, love to do.

25:17  

I love it.

25:19  

awesome sauce will talk to you soon, Karen. Thanks, God,

25:21  

appreciate you so much. You’re welcome. Hey, thanks

25:24  

so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast. Proudly brought to you by southern New Jersey real estate real estate excellence that can be reached at 561-249-7266 and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com slash guest. If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify iheart radio or wherever you get your podcasts. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see our recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you have been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up. It’s our time to shine.

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