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Speech Transcript

Unknown Speaker  0:00  

Hey,

Unknown Speaker  0:00  

this is Pat Bradley, Texas. And if you really want to learn how to learn to love your life, you should be listening to the time to shine today podcast with my friend Scott Ferguson. Time to shine today podcast squad. Thank you for tuning in to this awesome episode that I’m having with my very good friend, Dr. Barbara, de la pet say she’s my Python, my Italian friend. She’s a doctor of ontology, and that’s Oh in to LOGY. It’s a full philosophical, cyclical study of being more broadly, it studies accounts of directly related to being so it’s really deep rooted in philosophy. She’s really, really studied the stoics the knowledge nuggets that you’re she’s going to drop on you is fantastic. She’s going to bring up the inner workings of leadership, how to cultivate your inner champion, realize that the circumstances you’re in is not all there is that there is and the etc etc etc So without further ado, here is my very good friend Dr. Barbara deli pet say

Unknown Speaker  1:16  

Hey Tom to shine today podcast swatted Scott Ferguson and I am blessed to be joined here in like day 980 of self isolation quarantine but if I could friend Dr. Barbara delay pet say she is phenomenal. She’s a die has a doctorate in ontology and we’re going to dig a little bit deeper into that I’m not even gonna say anything about I’m gonna let her explain it. She’s fantastic works with high earners, high end people along with smaller companies as well. Dr. Barbara is an internationally established coach and leadership development expert with over 18 years of global experience. Barbara believes that there are rarely solutions to problems which do not begin in the hearts and minds. People, hence she focuses her work on the inner work of leadership. So Dr. Barbara, welcome to the show and please come on and introduce yourself but first, tell us your favorite color and why.

Unknown Speaker  2:15  

Wow, hi, first of all, thank you Scott for having me here. Um, my favorite color actually is blue. Okay, and I like the color blue because it gives me a sense of immensity. So space and freedom

Unknown Speaker  2:32  

and that city and probably because over your right shoulder there, there’s this big ocean right? Without with full disclosure listeners, Dr. Barbara is kind of a neighbor. She lives about 55 miles south of me in Miami Beach when I’m here in Jupiter, Florida. So it’s like we kind of have this gravity like blues my favorite color as well. But I have a little red streak. They’ll come out every once in a while. Well blue is it. But Dr. Barber again, thanks for coming on what tell us the origins. I know. They You’re from Italy, and been here 20 years but tell us the origins and how you built up, got your PhD. And really picked ontology is your specialty.

Unknown Speaker  3:09  

Well, actually

Unknown Speaker  3:11  

ontologies and branch within philosophy and I’ve always been passionate about philosophy because I was interested in understanding the human nature. And so already I many years ago, actually, I decided that I wanted to study even more after finishing my degree in philosophy setting even more how human beings work. And so I decided to do this PhD, and I did it actually, in Hong Kong. So that was quite an interesting experience as well.

Unknown Speaker  3:44  

Yeah. Did you do it? What? What years were you in Hong Kong? If you don’t mind me asking to get your doctorate as pattern? What years were you in Hong Kong?

Unknown Speaker  3:53  

Oh, I was in Hong Kong in between the 2000 year 2002 time was in 13. That’s a long period.

Unknown Speaker  4:03  

Isn’t there like six times when I was in the military and I actually love this city that was in the early 90s. That’s a long time ago.

Unknown Speaker  4:11  

I’m sorry, I, I digress. Go ahead.

Unknown Speaker  4:15  

So, um, I did dis toddies. And actually, when I was doing my PhD, I started actually the impact of a new concept of mental health and what it means to actually let go and embrace intuition. So it was quite an interesting research that I’ve been doing. And that really connects with my passion for helping people and human beings to be better human beings.

Unknown Speaker  4:43  

I love it. So you just said you are helping people let go and embrace situations. does that translate into a lot of people that you’re working with as your clients?

Unknown Speaker  4:57  

Actually, yes, what I do I am an executive coach and I do work on leadership development. What I actually do is I help my clients do the inner work of leadership and the inner work of leadership, it has to do with becoming aware of your thoughts of your beliefs of your emotions and the inner work that we have and not many people are aware that there is work to be done in terms of developing and enhancing this inner world. It is like inner fitness, right? I love fitness of the body. We know we go to the gym, we know what to eat, we know how to move our muscles. And what I am really passionate about and I really want my clients to be on board with these is that that there is an inner world. We need to go to the gym of emotion. We need to practice certain kind of thoughts we need to know how to nourish actually, our mind And our heart and intrapreneurs and usually do not think that there is actually work and fitness to be achieved around these inner world. And that’s what I actually do. I create an energy.

Unknown Speaker  6:17  

Right? So during this pandemic, are you having a lot more people coming to you? It’s almost like more work for you now in a lack of a better term, where because you’re finding a lot more time with your inner self, more than most of us and yet I’m, I was in the military. So I had a lot of inner time with myself then. So this doesn’t bother me at all. But other people I can see especially people that press a lot of flesh, they’re out networking a lot. What are you seeing with these people during the pandemic right now? Then, what are you doing to help them stay leveled up? Yes.

Unknown Speaker  6:54  

So what it is, these are really challenging times, right? So there are a lot of people Suffering from many circumstances from how First of all, but also for the different settings we are now in. So it is true that there is a great opportunity here. And I think it is also a positive time because as you were saying, Scott, people do realize that there is this inner time, this time where there is something going on inside and so you realize suddenly, that you do not know how to manage frustration, fear, anger, all those emotions and the thoughts, the mind loops and the constant thinking about the same things or negative thoughts that make you not feel well so people realize that they could do something that they should do, but maybe they do not know how how do we manage all these inner world stuff that are showing up right now right? Let’s see free let me give you an example. Let’s see Imagine some families, right that suddenly if they, they find to defend themselves to spend a lot of time together without any break. And these brings up a lot of emotion, even if we all love each other right in the family, but still, how do we manage our boundaries? How do we manage the communication? How do I tell you I need some space? Or I’m really fed up with all the situation, how do I manage all these emotions and these thoughts? And so the positive of this situation, I think, is really, people start to realize that there is something to be invest upon. You’ll need to invest time, energy and resources in in making these inner world better, because that makes you feel better. And the people around you benefit from it.

Unknown Speaker  8:51  

Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I know that with me and my lady, we’re fine. We’re kind of finding our boundaries. Like you said, you know, she’s Really she’s really laid back and I’m really go go so I have to find my time away to kind of have my meditation time my inner, my inner exercises you might might call it so when you’re starting to work with a prospect or a client, what what’s kind of the secret sauce that you use to find their blind spots to help them level up and really get in touch with their thoughts, emotions, beliefs, what are what’s some of your secret sauce, your techniques if you don’t mind sharing?

Unknown Speaker  9:35  

No, absolutely not actually to know if it is a secret sauce but what I actually love doing and gives me a lot of understanding is I listen and the art of listening It is a very complex and sophisticated art and when I say I listen, it means that I listened with my hear of course I pay attention of the language. The person uses, I look at the body language I, I listen to the emotions, and I also listen to what I have an intuition of the person would love to be able to do or be or express. And then I carefully pay attention to those, those hints and those whispers, and then I engage in a conversation and I probe and I test in the sense that I really want this person to become first of all aware of where they stand emotionally, in their mindset in the way they think about reality. And I love it when I am able to get from them picture where they stand and then we start what I ask what sorry, what I call expanding awareness. A lot of people be need to become aware of all The resources that they have the limitations that they are creating for themselves, limitations and might be objective and they aren’t in the environment, but we want to see. So basically, I create transparency with them inside and out.

Unknown Speaker  11:15  

You do it a lot. I’m thinking like mom gave us, you know, God gave us two ears, one mouth for a reason. So we can listen more. But you’re also asking powerful questions to really dig but you’re also something a lot of other coaches I have not heard say this. You’re not just listening with your ears, you’re listening with your eyes, right? You’re looking at their actions, you’re looking at their posture, you’re looking at their enunciation. And you’re really putting together a plan for them, for lack of a better term plan is like a little bit more aggressive plan of attack. Level up their situations that correct so you’re using all the senses to really dig deep.

Unknown Speaker  11:54  

Absolutely. And also, if I may, I know I Oh, I use all the senses and I also test what seems crazy. So I go beyond what the we are, we me and my client are talking about. And I go into the unknown territory is just to see if there are connection, we what seems to be completely out of the picture element. And let’s see if in fact there is some connection there and there. In fact, some elements are not out of the picture. So when we say Oh, but this is something crazy, or I never thought about it, and maybe you realize that you didn’t think about it, you did consider it before. And you need somebody that helps you and partners with you to find out what you are actually aware and what you are actually desiring,

Unknown Speaker  12:43  

right. So

Unknown Speaker  12:45  

that’s, I love that too. It is really, it gives a sense of really contributing and being in a partnership to let these all these secrets and all these hidden resources out

Unknown Speaker  12:59  

right Love that’s so true. I mean you you’re covering all the bases that’s amazing with okay so if I’m out when we’re allowed to go out and I’m not working I’m kind of pressing flash immediate a lot of people if and if I’m in a conversation with somebody, what are some of the key words so I could know if someone’s a good prospect or connection or referral for you? What am I hearing from them?

Unknown Speaker  13:22  

Um, well, because the work that I do is powerful. I work with people that are actually committed that are I like to call them the you know, champions right, I am working with them to help them become inner champions manage their inner game like champions do so. I am looking for committed people that are not afraid of growth and they are not afraid of moving beyond their comfort zone. And they are accurate, actually serious in making a difference in the world. You know, if if instyle I often tell myself, can you imagine, Scott if instead of having just one Nelson Mandela, one Martin Luther King, one Kennedy, one Mother Teresa, we had like hundreds of those

Unknown Speaker  14:15  

right

Unknown Speaker  14:16  

around moving around in the world, we would have a completely different world. So I am working with top executives and leaders that really want to make a difference. And then they believe that they

Unknown Speaker  14:26  

can make a difference. And I really,

Unknown Speaker  14:29  

I’m sorry, go ahead. No, no, no, please.

Unknown Speaker  14:31  

I just believe that the parlay on top of what you’re saying is that we all have that in our heart already. We have that inner champion, but you’re wanting the people that really want the commitment, because I mean, bet there’s an old fable and it might even been originated in Italy. But they said, you know, we were all Gods walking the earth at one time, you know, and then those supreme Gods like, we were destroying things, so he pulled all that power away. But he didn’t he, you know, he said, Well, we’re going to hide it inside. They say we’re gonna hide it on top of a mountain. He’s like, nope, it’ll be found hide at the bottom of the seat. Nope, it’ll be fine. I know you know where we’re going with this. But it’s like we’re gonna hide it in their heart because they ain’t gonna look there. So someone like you, if they’re committed can help them reach in grab that power and make them closer to a Mother Teresa, or any of the other great influential leaders. We have that that’s fantastic. Yes, let’s do this. Let’s get in our Back to the Future DeLorean. Okay with Marty McFly if you saw the movie. Let’s go back in time. What are you telling and what kind of knowledge nuggets are you dropping on the 22 year old? Dr. Barbara de Lappe peds

Unknown Speaker  15:42  

a 22 year old

Unknown Speaker  15:44  

Yep. You’re you know you’re kind of raw. You’re kind of coming up. What? What are you telling her?

Unknown Speaker  15:50  

I will tell her. Are you aware of how powerful you are as a human being and how are you aware? That doesn’t mean your level of awareness whatever you do whatever you say whoever you encounter, you are having such a huge impact on that person.

Unknown Speaker  16:09  

Everybody you encounter you’re having an impact whether you know it or not right?

Unknown Speaker  16:13  

Absolutely. You are transforming the life of any person you encounter. And I will tell her, are you aware of this and therefore, would you like to work on the quality that you are going to share with the world each encounter you make your own needs to be Hi,

Unknown Speaker  16:36  

I love it. That’s amazing. So everybody, anybody that you encounter whether you know it or not, you’re going to make an impact so might as well leave with a great vibe of knowing that you helped them and other which in turn that young doctor Barbara, which isn’t a doctor yet is is leveling up that would help her long that that’s, that’s amazing. So when you meet somebody that you’re looking to possibly bring out As a client, you’re asking a lot of questions. We already said that you’re you’re listening with your eyes, your ears, the vibe, is there any question that any of those prospects? You wish? Is there any question that you wish they would ask you, but never do on that first encounter?

Unknown Speaker  17:24  

I never thought about these because usually when they meet me, they already have a desire. Sure. Right. So they would they asked me is, is it possible for me to get there? Right. So that if they don’t ask this question, and

Unknown Speaker  17:45  

you should ask that more, is it possible? Why do people want to know it’s funny with the people that I coach? Like, I have no problem asking questions, but I when I meet somebody if I was to hire you, which is another question in the future, let me tell you, but if I was to hire you, I will Want to know your story? You know, let’s one thing that I don’t ever get really is like, what’s your story, Scott? You know, how did you what Tell me about a fail of yours you know they just are ready to pay you the money if you like fix me in the sense but that’s beautiful because you actually answered that in a fantastic way. We’re gonna move to it if we were to take your cell phone, your computer, your laptop, whatever you got electronically to connect you with people. Take that out of the equation. Yes, what’s three things Dr. Barber can’t live without

Unknown Speaker  18:34  

friends.

Unknown Speaker  18:36  

Books and music.

Unknown Speaker  18:39  

Love it. Love it. And what is your

Unknown Speaker  18:48  

what’s your definition of a life well lived?

Unknown Speaker  18:51  

Well in life when leaved as platter would say is alive, well examined and Through the words of Socrates, actually, he said that, and the last life we’ll leave is a life that where you are actually aware of who you are your impact and what you can contribute to people, at your, in your family, in your community, and to the world at large. Because I do believe if I may, Scott, that now we need people that dream again, to have an impact on the world at large,

Unknown Speaker  19:27  

and that is our duty.

Unknown Speaker  19:31  

And you’re, it’s so true. It’s so true. We can all do our part. And like you said, there can be more of those great people walking around, if we will commit to it. So did you study the stoics? Then

Unknown Speaker  19:44  

I studied a lot of philosophy. That’s how I started my

Unknown Speaker  19:48  

gotcha. Who’s your favorite?

Unknown Speaker  19:51  

Well, I have many favorites. Let’s say that I love Socrates and Plato and a more contemporary one. Same Martin Heidegger’s

Unknown Speaker  20:01  

Okay, I’m a sonica like, follow her. I The reason being is because he was just kind of a dude that had money you know, really laid back guy you know, never held office never did anything but the what he wrote in it just resonates with me. A gentleman named Ryan Holiday wrote the daily stoic so it’s 365 days of taking something from plateau taking Marcus Aurelius, Seneca Socrates and like he breaks down something out of each one of theirs and writes it in like English terms. You know, it’s a really great book I recommend it to people that want to get into stocks but they’re afraid of saying hammer understand what they’re saying, you know, cuz like you you dug in, you’re like, Okay, you broke it down, and being an ontology you would have to because a lot of that goes right back to the stoics. You know, because a lot of people like they regurgitate a lot of the stuff that they’ve heard from the past and it goes all the way back to the Stokes like Tony Robbins. Which I love the guy. He regurgitates what Jim Rohn taught them Jim Rohn, from Earl Nightingale back to, you know, Wallace wattles back to the stoics. So the stoics kind of is our earliest philosophy. So and that’s fantastic. You and I could talk for hours in that. But my producer saying we can’t. That’s I’m sorry, I went off on a tangent. I just think it’s awesome. You’re, you deal with the stoics. But we’re gonna move into what we call our leveling up lightning round. Okay, it’s there’s five or six questions I’m gonna ask you. Sure. You and I could talk for 1520 minutes on each of them, but we’re gonna give you five seconds to think they can be all of them can be answered in five seconds. All right. Promise you. All right, ready?

Unknown Speaker  21:43  

Yes. Okay, do that.

Unknown Speaker  21:45  

What’s the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received?

Unknown Speaker  21:50  

Never give up and do not believe that the circumstances you’re in are all the rates because there is Always more.

Unknown Speaker  22:03  

Love it. Sure one of your personal habits that contributes to your success

Unknown Speaker  22:09  

doing my inner work, which means

Unknown Speaker  22:13  

meditate.

Unknown Speaker  22:16  

Check up, check in with my thoughts in minutes doing exercise and sing,

Unknown Speaker  22:21  

sing I love that so that not the book you’re reading now or a flavor of the week or the month, the one book that impacted your life.

Unknown Speaker  22:32  

I, I read many books I read really a lot of books and but one that I particularly like, especially in this time, I think it is relentless optimism.

Unknown Speaker  22:45  

Love that

Unknown Speaker  22:46  

relentless

Unknown Speaker  22:48  

and Darrin Donnelly. Okay.

Unknown Speaker  22:52  

It’s very nice for this time of the year and it invites you to be intentionally remaining optimistic and it does it in a very pure For way using the example of a

Unknown Speaker  23:02  

baseball game and it’s beautiful,

Unknown Speaker  23:05  

really beautiful. definitely look into that your favorite charity or organization you’d love to support.

Unknown Speaker  23:12  

Wow here there are minis, but I think that at this particular time, I would say Blue Cross, I think it is in the US. So, Red Cross, Red Cross. Thank you. Okay, my favorite color comes in.

Unknown Speaker  23:31  

Last question. Sure. What is the best decade of music 60s 70s 80s or 90s?

Unknown Speaker  23:41  

Okay, I was not born in the 60s, but I love the 60s.

Unknown Speaker  23:47  

a lot.

Unknown Speaker  23:48  

I love it. Dr. Barbara, how can we find you?

Unknown Speaker  23:52  

Um, many ways. I think the easiest for B would be looking for me on LinkedIn under my name by Benefits then on LinkedIn or my website www.breakupbrad.pets.com. These are the best way probably difficult to get the spelling of my name. I bet on LinkedIn, you can find me.

Unknown Speaker  24:18  

Okay, so the bravin action challenge. Tell us a little bit about that please.

Unknown Speaker  24:23  

Oh, Reuben action challenge is actually a very interesting challenging challenges that I have prepared. It starts in May 18. And it is done for everybody in this particular time of challenge. It is about meeting together for four weeks, once a week, and then and sharing some of the strategies that I developed throughout my life on how to remain positive, and how to face for difficult situations and overcome them and level up our life. And we will make four times so in one month and each time We will have some training and then we have some group coaching session. And then we will have one challenge that we will do throughout the week. And then the next time we will meet again, we will discuss the challenge we will unpack another strategy. And we will do this for four weeks. It’s going to be amazing. And I really love to invite people to join

Unknown Speaker  25:22  

really painful word in this time of the year.

Unknown Speaker  25:25  

Oh, absolutely.

Unknown Speaker  25:26  

And what we’re going through and squat is that all those links to our website or LinkedIn, and the bravin challenge is going to be in our show notes. And lastly, Dr. Barber, leave us with one, quickly one Knowledge Nugget that you want our listeners to walk away with and internalize and put to work.

Unknown Speaker  25:49  

begin to think about the inner world. That the reason in your world that you can work on take care of it and be intentional about it. About being optimistic and taking care of your positive energy, because that’s actually contagious. And we want optimism and positivity to be all around us.

Unknown Speaker  26:14  

I love that. And squad you’ve just had some serious serious knowledge nuggets dropped on you by my friend, Dr. Barbara. And you know she went over. really begin to think about the intentional inner world be optimistic. When you’re looking at somebody and you’re having a conversation. Don’t listen, listen with your ears. Listen with your body languages, look for their listen with your eyes, look for their body language, you know, you are having an impact and everyone you meet, whether you know it or not, and be aware of that impact. So when that person leaves, they’re even a better person. And I know I’m a better person after this interview with Dr. Barbara who’s been so, so helpful. Humble yet driven, healthy, it levels up our health levels up our wealth. And Dr. Barber thank you for joining us. It’s been pleasure I have like ages since we’re on video of just notes, notes, notes everything. It’s like my own masterclass I just had. So thank you so much for joining us. And you’ve dropped so much knowledge on them and in helping everybody level up so thank you so much.

Unknown Speaker  27:21  

Thank you very much Scott for having me here. It has been amazing,

Unknown Speaker  27:25  

fantastic day, and YouTube. Hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast, proudly brought to you by southern New Jersey real estate real estate excellence who can be reached at 561-249-7266 and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com slash guest. If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcast Stitcher, Spotify. I heart radio or wherever you get your podcast. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see our recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you’ve been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host, Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up. It’s our time to shine.

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