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Speech Transcript (very little editing so not exact)

Unknown Speaker  0:00  

Hey, this is Joey Pallaro with efficacy life coaching. If you really want to learn how to level up your life, you should be listening to the time to shine today podcast with my good friend Scott Ferguson time

Unknown Speaker  0:10  

to shine today podcast varsity squad is Scott Ferguson and I got my jersey boy, my good buddy here, Joey Palermo, from efficacy, life coaching. That’s such a hard word for me to say. But Joey lived in some dark times. And he he has no idea sometimes why he’s alive. But I think my Creator My God every day that people like Joey walk this earth because he helps people that, you know, went through addiction, went through recovery, and he helps them really level up after the fact I don’t want to get too deep into a story right now because I want you to let him tell it to you. It’ll move you maybe even get some tissues ready because Joey is just that guy, man. So without further ado, break out your notebooks because I have two pages of notes. Sit back, relax, because here comes my really good friend Joseph Joey Palermo from efficacy, life coaching. Let’s level up

Unknown Speaker  1:11  

to shine today podcast. versity squatted is Scott Ferguson and I got my LLC my efficacy. I said it Yes. efficacy Life Coach, you know efficacy. For those those that don’t know, it’s the extent to which a specific intervention procedure regimen or service produces a beneficial result, effectiveness, virtual virtue, strength, value, fruitfulness and success. That’s my boy, joy from the east coast. My jersey guy, Joey Palermo. He’s the founder of ELC, or efficacy, efficacy life coach, he specializes in working with people in recovery to supplement their programs taking them above and beyond. And by the way, he’s I hate to say it like you know, he has an awesome recovery story. But he did go through a lot of shit. And he’s going to share that today because he’s transparent. I love that about him. But he what he does with the LC it takes them you above and beyond the 12 steps. 12 steps are great. But joy actually levels of up it helps you discover and create the lives that you can choose for yourself. And those looking to overcome challenges around food and body to release the weight once and for all. And on the web page. I’m going to have a before and after my jacked boy Joey here to be putting up within his show notes because Joey man, welcome to the show. Please introduce yourself the time to shine today. podcast first describe to first What’s your favorite color, and why

Unknown Speaker  2:34  

yellow, because the sun and warmth

Unknown Speaker  2:39  

in it.

Unknown Speaker  2:39  

That’s pretty easy one for me.

Unknown Speaker  2:41  

In squat. I’m trying to get my boy Joey to come down here to Jupiter, Florida and hang out for a long weekend. And again, we don’t do any of the brain grenades or any of the stuff you know, he’s a clean dude. And I live that way pretty much all the time as well. But why don’t you come down here and get a nice fresh catch with me and just be able to hang out and trust me the the we’ll just say that the talent walking around is actually a lot of fun to me. The scenery is really good. So joy, man, seriously, welcome to the show, man. And let’s get in the origins. Can you share that story with us that you shared with me a couple months ago? And yeah, sure that to level up to the rock star, you are now helping other people level? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  3:20  

absolutely. Thanks for having me. I’m excited. And I’ll I’ll keep it abbreviated and, and relatively give you the PG version of my story. But the reason what qualifies me to do what I do isn’t really my education or my certifications or, or anything like that. It’s really the life that I had lived. And, you know, I am an alcoholic, and I’m a drug addict and recovery. And I spent two decades in the grips of that act of addiction and suffered most consequences associated with that, um, for people who choose to live that way, short of long term prison or death. I will keep it brief, but I will say that I started drinking and drugging at a very young age. And at that point, it became my number one priority. The first time I picked it up and it had a lot to do with

Unknown Speaker  4:19  

which it

Unknown Speaker  4:20  

had a lot to do with my state of mind at the time. I always felt different and separate and from other people and I was constantly comparing my insides with other people’s outsides and when I picked up that drink at 11 years old it it I liked the effects of alcohol. It it quieted my mind and made all that stuff disappear. Fast forward 10 years and you know I was hitting some pretty severe bottoms, getting in trouble with the law, unable to form intimate relationships with other people unable to hold the job and it was obvious to Everybody but me that I had a problem with alcohol, but like I said it had, it was my number one priority. And every decision that I made who I surrounded myself with how well I did in school, how well I did in athletics, was about protecting my right to drink in the future. What there were that wound me up in the end in, you know, in 2009, I got sober on August 20 2009. And at that point, I was homeless, I would had a $300 a day heroin habit, this has been going on for years, I was unemployable, I was doing very dangerous things to get what I needed. And, you know, that was that was another bottom for me. But I had many bottoms over the years. And they like they always say there’s always a bottom below the bottom. And truth be told, I had, I had been in recovery programs, I had gotten clean several times, mostly to, to please outside people, whether that’d be my parents, my boss, my girlfriend, the law, and never myself, never myself and I and, you know, so I knew a little bit about recovery. And, and I had several times throughout my mind that 20 years gotten cleaned up and for sometimes over a year or more, but I never really had any intention of giving up my solution to life. And I really just would always just do what I was told, tell everybody what they wanted to hear, and do my time, so to speak, until the people started looking the other way. And I be I was able to get back to doing what I needed to do. And believe it or not, like I said, being absolutely, you know, on the streets, you know, with that with a serious habit and, and feeling worthless and helpless and hopeless. I was in the same space, you know, so come August 20 2009. When I checked into detox, thank God for the last time hopefully, I was I had no intentions of staying sober. I had no intentions of but I did. You know, I did want to put in the time necessary to basically come up with another plan. You know, I was at the end of the line. And, you know, I got into I went into detox I planned on going back onto the street. That’s not what happened. I had some friends and family pulled together and get me into rehab. I went into rehab and I started to take direction. And and I started I was blessed. I call it blessed because I think it was outside of myself because my brain was telling me to run the whole time. And but I kept taking steps forward. And I kept doing what I was told. And I started began to recover. Unfortunately for me, I got a lot sicker before I got any better when they removed me from the alcohol and drugs. And I started looking at my past. I got hit with depression, self pity. And I’m sure I always had that underlying I always treated it with alcohol and drugs. And so things got got ended up being worse getting worse for me even though I wasn’t drinking or drugging and I was involved in a program of recovery. I got sober in a 12 step program recovery and I still am an active participant there in a daily meeting mediocre and I do a lot of service in that arena. Right and it’s my foundation. But I turned to food. And over from 2009 to 2015 I went from 220 pounds to 415 pounds, and I was sicker than I ever was in my entire life. I guess what I want to speed it along, but ultimately on March 1 2015. And it’s a very specific date because I remember it very clearly. On March 1 2015. The night before I had a dream. I had a dream. My grandfather visited me in the green my dream my deceased grandfather visited me in a dream. And in that dream, he was screaming at me within tensity and this is a man

Unknown Speaker  8:54  

while he was alive, I’ve never heard him raise his voice. He’s screaming at me too. He’s yelling over and over again. He who isn’t busy being born is busy dying. He who isn’t being busy being born is busy dying. And I woke that morning and I’m you know, absorbing all this and I’m thinking about it. And it’s like I had heard that before. And it turns out to be a lyric in a Bob Dylan song. I don’t think it really matters, but it had impacted me in a way. And it brought me a certain amount of clarity that that although I was sober, and I was actively recovering, that I was still scared to live. You know, I was never scared to die. I was scared to live and from that day forward, I made a decision to take back control of my life and to regain my health and to prioritize my you know, my eating and my exercising and my sleep and prioritizing led learning to be gentle with myself stop like beating myself up and you know, being really, really careful about how I speak to myself and I began to recover and over the course of been 11 plus years. recovery. I’m slowly slowly getting better and better.

Unknown Speaker  10:03  

I love that joy. Thank you for being so so frickin transparent man. Did you find it hard to believe that you’re actually alive?

Unknown Speaker  10:13  

Yeah. Yeah, if

Unknown Speaker  10:15  

things were

Unknown Speaker  10:16  

fair, I would be dead or in prison. And that, that gives me a lot of gratitude. And I practice a lot of gratitude. And I know that that most people who go down that path, you know, end up, you know, not making it, it’s, the odds aren’t good?

Unknown Speaker  10:36  

And how long did it take you to get comfortable coaching people after because you know, when you come out of that, like you can put on like you lived in imposter syndrome for a long time is what I’m hearing where you’re trying to get people to look, the other way seems to pop that needle back in your arm, you know, I’m saying you’re living that, like, how long did it take you to really become comfortable helping others level themselves up and kind of pull them out of the same? So you’ve lived the life bro, you’ve walked the walk all those cliches man, like, how long have you feel comfortable? Or are you still not even comfortable, to be able to help others level

Unknown Speaker  11:11  

up? I would say that, I mean, I’d be lying to say that I’m comfortable. I’m clearly call qualified. And I’m passionate about it. And I believe in human potential. And I love watching people win. And I love what I do, I love when I work with somebody and the lights come on. And they Dave start to recognize their, their strengths and their virtues and their gifts, and they begin to create a vision for themselves, and to be able to plug into their life force. But you know, as a coach, I’m always operating outside of my comfort zone. And I always have that little voice in the back of my head. That’s telling me that I’m not enough that it’s not possible that there’s not enough time that there’s not enough energy, that there’s not enough money, that there’s not enough love that there’s not enough help, that there’s not enough people to serve. And you know, one of my most valuable lessons and experience in recovery is be able to identify that voice, my lower nature, my disease, thinking my part x, whatever it is that you want to call it, because we all have it as humans, everything in the universe is light and dark. I’m not inferior or superior. I’m not good or bad on both. But the key is to be aware of to identify and to label that voice for what it is, which is a lie. So I’m very comfortable working with other people. But you know, I have to I have to be work. You know, I have to be quieting that voice all the time. I’m always operating outside of my comfort zone. So you know, I don’t know, I’m a new coach. You know, it’s, uh, I’ve been, I guess all in now since April 2020. I started my I started coaching several years earlier. What date April, April 1 rice man. Yeah, I guess that makes me a fool. But

Unknown Speaker  13:01  

that one year, April Fool’s. So, Joey, when you you’re bringing somebody into the LLC? Is there any secret sauce that you use, if you don’t mind sharing to help them find their blind spots? Because there could be many of them when they’re coming out of addiction and really looking to level up? And like, Is there anything that you use specifically that you can share with us to help them find that blind spot?

Unknown Speaker  13:26  

Um, you know, I work, I work more with uncovering what their strengths and their virtues are. I think, you know, this is very common for human beings in general, to be, you know, hyper focused on what like, where we fall short, and where we’re not enough and what we’re doing that that we’re not supposed to be doing, or what we want to do, that we can’t do, or what we have, that somebody is going to take. So I’ve really tried to focus on, like, what their strengths are, what their virtues are, what are their highest priority values, and get them to create a very clear vision, okay, that comes from a place of clear intention, and then help elevate their emotion. So coming from an internal environment, that’s what creates a new self. This is one of the problems that I found with with, you know, more traditional recovery programs, even therapy and this is just my opinion, I’m not I’m not doing anything, but they tend to focus a whole lot more on the past and, and looking at, at our, you know, our old self looking at our old behaviors. And when we’re when we’re operating in a pet in the past from a place of of our old knowledge and experience that was created from an external environment. We stay stuck.

Unknown Speaker  14:55  

Yes.

Unknown Speaker  14:58  

Absolutely. Yeah. So When you’re talking to these people in the discovery period, Joey, is there any good question that you wish they would ask you, but never do? Um, cuz you’ve been there, bro. You don’t I’m saying, like, Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  15:16  

whatever. No, no, the answer is no, I, you know,

Unknown Speaker  15:21  

I don’t appreciate that.

Unknown Speaker  15:22  

I know that, like, the way that I can connect sure with other people is to be 100% vulnerable. That’s part of the reason why I tell my story. And as because, and I, you know, dropped the curtain, so to speak, is because I need to be able to relate to other people. And I also need to, I also need to take my mask off, like I need to people let people know who I am. And that I am not ashamed of the path I chose. And that I’m, I’m, I’m living a new life. And so whenever anyone asked me, I’m open to answer.

Unknown Speaker  15:57  

Love it. So you’re moving into your, this part of your life that your lack of better term proud of now, how do you want your dash remembered? Like that little line in between your incarnation date and your expiration date? Your life date and nothing? How do you want Joy claros dash remember,

Unknown Speaker  16:14  

I want to be remembered

Unknown Speaker  16:15  

as as somebody who who was able to take you know, their, their past failures, mistakes, challenges, shortcomings, and turn those into a strengths to be of service to others.

Unknown Speaker  16:36  

Wow, that’s strong, man. So joy, what keeps you up at night?

Unknown Speaker  16:41  

Nothing. Good. I sleep like a baby man. And it’s, but you know, I’m always thinking of ways how I can, you know, improve my business.

Unknown Speaker  16:53  

I need to take lessons from you on that man. Because that’s one thing. I mean, I can shut it down. But sometimes it takes a minute. So, yeah, what do you think people misunderstand most about God?

Unknown Speaker  17:03  

Um,

Unknown Speaker  17:06  

I think sometimes people can mistake kindness for weakness.

Unknown Speaker  17:14  

I was gonna say that about you, bro. Cuz you’re so nice. But I think there’s a side that can like, you know, pounce for lack of a better term again, I should say, You know that I see that all the time when the three times that we’ve spoke so, Joey like, let’s take out electronics out of this. This this question. Let’s take out your phone, your computer, your tablets. What are three things that joy Palermo can’t live without? Three things

Unknown Speaker  17:41  

that I can’t live without? my morning routine? For sure. recovery program that’s my number one priority. Because you know if I don’t stay sober, there is nothing else. There’s there’s no relationships. There’s no business, there’s no health, there’s no freedom. There’s no life. And the third thing would would be my books.

Unknown Speaker  18:12  

I love to read. So joy, what is your definition of a life well lived.

Unknown Speaker  18:17  

I’m living in integrity. Which really boils down to, you know, my own personal integrity me doing what I say I’m going to do? That was always the issue for me. Is is I would want or say to myself that I would do something and I would never do it. What else do I want people to remember about me? It was about the question. You lost me

Unknown Speaker  18:42  

life. Well live brother like what? What’s your definition of a life? Well, live live with integrity, do what you say you’re gonna do? Right?

Unknown Speaker  18:48  

You know that I’m known as a person who who reaches their hand down and lift somebody up. And that, um, that I, I aim to take people higher. And then I leave something behind a legacy behind that continues to give long after that. I’m gone.

Unknown Speaker  19:05  

Yeah, do that. Yeah, that’s exactly how I answer it. When I’m asked that question brother. It’s like, you look at like the B two bomber and World War Two that we dropped the bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, like that did the job. But now look at how much farther it’s leveled up within the military or anything. That’s how I want to plant a seed where I will never sit in a tree shade. You know what I’m saying? It’s like, I want to plant that in rubble. I appreciate you saying that, man. Hey, time to shine today podcast varsity squad. We are back with the ELC my man Africa efficacy life coach, my boy Joy polara. Enjoy. You and I could talk 1520 minutes an hour on each one of these questions. I’m gonna ask you, you got five seconds with no explanations you can answer them in five seconds. You’re ready to level up.

Unknown Speaker  19:50  

Yeah, I mean, I guess you know about people from New Jersey. I like to talk to be hard to keep

Unknown Speaker  19:54  

we’re gonna literally put a beat Let’s do this. You ready?

Unknown Speaker  20:01  

Yeah, let’s do it.

Unknown Speaker  20:02  

What’s the best leveling up advice Jody’s ever received?

Unknown Speaker  20:06  

Stay in process not

Unknown Speaker  20:09  

sure one of your personal habits that contributes to your success. my morning routine.

Unknown Speaker  20:14  

I knew you’re gonna say that if you did that I’d be calling you out.

Unknown Speaker  20:17  

It’s a series of small habits. I won’t explain now further.

Unknown Speaker  20:20  

Excellent. efficacy, life coaching, calm and of course time to shine today.com my shameless plug. What website is joy like to go to level up?

Unknown Speaker  20:29  

Google Trends

Unknown Speaker  20:30  

beautiful. Other like that? If you see me and you see me in 40s it’s not his energy’s off. Like he’s in his doldrums. What book are you handing me?

Unknown Speaker  20:39  

Um, make your bed.

Unknown Speaker  20:41  

I know that. Baby.

Unknown Speaker  20:43  

Like, on the klaver. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  20:45  

Oh, yeah. met him many times. What is your most commonly used emoji when you text?

Unknown Speaker  20:51  

The winking? LOVE IT guy?

Unknown Speaker  20:53  

chess or checkers? Neither. Neither got it. If you could stay, don’t frickin lie to me. And now joy. But if you could stay one age, physically, for the rest of your life, and keep the knowledge and wisdom that you’ve garnered and still continue to gain knowledge? What age physically would you stay for the rest of your life?

Unknown Speaker  21:14  

I mean, I was in the best shape of my life when I was 20 beautiful.

Unknown Speaker  21:19  

I love that you said that man because I say 28 to 32 I’m coming up on 50 it’s like, I love me now but man, I would love to just get out of bed. Without cracks. I feel you’re so the truth

Unknown Speaker  21:30  

is I feel better now than I ever had absolutely packed mentally emotionally so

Unknown Speaker  21:35  

absolutely. Physically. Come on, man.

Unknown Speaker  21:37  

Yeah, you know, when I was in college football I was out I was in shape.

Unknown Speaker  21:41  

Love it. favorite charity or an organization like to give your time or money to

Unknown Speaker  21:46  

Red Rover. It’s a it’s an animal organization. They help they help support animals who are brought out of you know, abusive,

Unknown Speaker  21:56  

loving math, but yeah, my brother. And last question you can elaborate a little bit on this one joy but what’s the best decade of music 6070s 80s or 90s?

Unknown Speaker  22:08  

Well, I grew up with 60s music. Yeah, I grew up getting into my parents albums. Nice man. You know so that’s my foundation so I’m gonna have to say the 60s

Unknown Speaker  22:18  

are beautiful maybe Can’t go wrong in those decades to be honest with you. So joy How can we find you brother?

Unknown Speaker  22:24  

Um You can find me on LinkedIn at Joseph palaeo You can find me on Facebook at efficacy life coaching you can email me at Joseph at efficacy life coaching com or my website efficacy life coaching

Unknown Speaker  22:37  

Babatunde joy to me favor man and leave us with one last Knowledge Nugget you want us to take with us internalize and take action

Unknown Speaker  22:45  

Sure, um, you know I think as entrepreneurs as business people as people in relationship the question I like to always ask myself is Who do I need to be in order to to deliver 10 to 20 times the value that my clients are paying me in terms of money and to always under promise and over deliver?

Unknown Speaker  23:08  

Wow, that’s awesome. In squat I got pages of notes man if you’re on YouTube brother, I got front back. And my boy Joy Player just gave you a free masterclass. No, he’s not somebody with an education or certification. So much to say he does have some of that, but it’s the life he’s live that will help you level up. He was out there comparing his insides to other people’s outsides. You know, he was below the bottom he was bottom below the bottom, you know, he lived imposter syndrome to make people look the other way. So we can get back on that hi train. You know, he’s got three dates that really stood out to me August 20 10, or 2009. March 1, I believe is 2015 or 16. When the two and then also April 1, is when he started his coaching dates and those three days really stand out for Joey man and he’s rocking that that’s called leveling up through time. You know, you can either be busy being born or busy dying and like we like to say from the Shawshank Redemption, get busy living or get busy dying and Joey made the choice, through his grandpa’s guidance in the dream to get busy living. You know, he says a great coach operates outside his comfort zone, and really helps to push the person outside there and maybe expand their comfort zone to where the point that they can step out. You know, he wants you to identify your lower nature, but don’t let that define you. Okay, he wants you to identify help, reach out to me, I’ll put you in touch with joy. So you can help you level up those strengths that you do have, you know, and also a great coach. He said we’ll uncover your strengths and virtues, you know, high priorities and create a clear vision and elevating motion for you to push through. You know, he’s going to be remembered as someone is able to take his past mistakes and turn them into strengths. He’s going to help you do that as well if you’ve lived that life as well. He’s someone that believes that you should live a life with integrity to do what you say you’re going to do in action. execute it. And he’s always aiming to take himself higher. And he wants to remember to do. Ask yourself, what do you need to do to over deliver while you’re under promising, and Joey does that man he levels up his healthy levels up as well. He’s a handsome dude. He’s my East Coast jersey boy. You know, I’m grateful to have you on here, man. And thank you so much. I love your guts, brother. And thank you for coming on.

Unknown Speaker  25:25  

This was a great opportunity. I really appreciate it. Hope to get to sunny Florida and do some fishing with you soon.

Unknown Speaker  25:30  

All right, brother. Talk soon. Excellent. Thank

Unknown Speaker  25:33  

you. Hey, thanks

Unknown Speaker  25:34  

so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast. Proudly brought to you by Southern Nugent real estate real estate excellence, who can be reached at 561-249-7266 in online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com flash guest. If you like this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcast. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see our recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you have been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host, Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up. It’s our time to shine.

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