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Speech Transcript (very little editing so not exact)

Time to shine. Today podcast varsity squad. This is Scott Ferguson and I have a 2.0 interview with not only a good friend but somebody that I immensely respect, which just dropped his book about a month or so ago called the Tao of the Master Connector. I’ve written kind of testimonials about Steve. I’ve written basically reviews on the book and Steve again is somebody that I immensely respect. He’s a black belt and his mentality for he grew up, if you listen, back in 267, I believe I’m sorry, 297 episode I really did a deep dive with Steve into his background, the bullying he endured, how martial arts really helped him level up through his life. He uses the lessons that he was taught through martial arts and also just life and having a fantastic wife and whatnot that’s out there to really help you level up. And I’ll tell you, I sat down and read the book. I think I told him two and a half hours. But that’s just because I’m a slower reader, because I like to internalize. But it’s only 160. Pages. You can blow through it. And if you listen to the end, I’m going to do a solid book giveaway for Steve’s. Book. But it’s really geared to someone who yourself or someone you know that is looking to get out of their shell and grow their skills. The book will definitely help. Or someone that struggles with challenges. And Steve is really big on grit. And to get a black belt. Grit, I always say, is grit is a monotonous activity. You’ve got to have grit to really get through, especially to earn a black belt. Like, you know as well. And what I really love about the book is it has parables. I’m a really big parable reader like Bob Berg or, you know, someone like that that writes books that can relate to real life. And then Steve adds that in, along with the lessons that he has to really kind of overcome and obstacles, be focused, really pay it forward, how to connect authentically. Because Steve is the master connector out there. He’s put me in touch with some fantastic people. Frankly, I’m going to shut my mouth and introduce Steve. Steve, come on. Say hello again to the squad. But first, tell us a superpower that you have that nobody knows about until now. First of all, I want to say hey, Scott, what’s going on, friend? Steve spiro the master connector coming at you. I got to do that. That’s the signature. But yeah, superpower, man. I don’t know if because I’m so out there, I’m so open. I’m an open book, right. No pun intended. Right. But in reality, I believe my biggest superpower is I don’t have a quit bone in my body. I don’t know how to quit. And that’s served me well. I think what happens is when people have a backdoor to something, they know they’re never going to do whatever it takes. It includes marriage. And if you’re on your second or third marriage I’m not judging, okay? But the reason we have a high divorce rate is because people know. Could have a backdoor. And you hear about these Asian Indian marriages or arranged marriages where they have extremely successful marriages because in their culture, they’re not allowed to give it up or quit. So I believe that not quitting is an absolute superpower in relationship to the grid aspect you’re talking about. Absolutely. You know what? Again, you just paralleled up on me with that backdoor thing, man. That’s awesome. With like you said, a lot of people have second options. They can be like, well, if this doesn’t work out next and they really don’t dig in. And I’m also going to add to your superpower, Steve, a collection of them is curiosity, man. I think that you have a curiosity that is above because when you interviewed me, I’ve listened to it a couple of times. Like, man, he really dug in. He did his homework and he’s really curious about wanting to know about people. That what makes you the best connector, really. That know, you and Frank Agent are kind of like right there with, with the connectors and it’s because you guys are curious, man. So I really appreciate you being that. Well, I appreciate. I think some of it has to do Scott with the fergie, right? I like to call you Fergie, but yeah, I think what it is is when you care about people, when your others focus, which is another pillar of my book, right. And you really want to know about somebody because you care, because you want to be a blessing or add value, it’s the heart of that that comes across. And I believe you’re right. It comes across in that know, I’ve never been the know, educated guy. I was learning disabled Dyslexic, so reading was hard for me. But because I’ve learned how to ask questions and be curious, I can hold down great conversations because I let the person talk, because I’m curious. Like they say, God gave us two ears and one mouth, right? And that’s the best compliment I can ever get, Steve, is when I go to a networking event, we’re pressing flesh and getting to know people or whatnot. I love walking away and them saying to themselves, what the hell does that guy do? You know what I’m saying? Because I got everything. I go back to my first mentor. He gave me. The Ford acronym. Right? Family, occupation, recreation and dreams. And if I can just follow know, I’m going to know enough. And then I always have. If you get in my car and my center console, I have thank you notes, right? And I go out there, I try to get their card, and I write them a thank you note in the parking lot, drop it in my mailbox where I go into my townhouse, and it’s done. It just sets that standard for curiosity, like, wait a minute. I want to work with this person in one way, shape or another. And you’re the exact same way. And that’s why we’re brothers from different mothers. Man no doubt. Let’s dive in to the Tao of a master connector the way an introvert became a master connector. Let’s get kind of to the origins of this book. And what made you really put for the metaphorical term pen to paper? Well, so a couple of things, right? My mission this planet, as we talked about on .1 of our initial interview, was to be the light uplift and inspire and encourage. And of course, the more. Get that message out and be an inspiration to people, the better. Right? Sure. My goal is to be on a TEDx stage and eventually travel the world. Speak and inspire and be a beacon of light. I’ve done good amount of traveling and I’ve done good amount of speaking, but to combine the two and to travel the world so, of course, everyone says you need to have a book. Well, I really knew I needed to have a book, and I want to get the message out. But the challenge was per me bandwidth. So, quite frankly, I had somebody who approached me and said, hey, you should write a book. And I said, well, here’s my challenge. They said, well, you have a lot of content out there. I said, I do. So they basically took they curated all of my content, my video content, and that actually turned into the foundation of the book. So I hope nobody judges. But it’s a repurposing of that content, and I think it’s incredible. And obviously I’m biased when I say absolutely, but it’s a message that it’s my heart. And now my heart is not only in video, but it’s on paper and soon to be audible, hopefully. No. Are you going to do the reading on audible? Yeah, I have to. Every book that I’ve ever listened to, I way relate better when the author, him or herself is doing it. So, yeah, I have to. That’s awesome. You are the beacon of light, and I can already see you rocking the TEDx stage is and whatnot because you present yourself so well, and it is presented deeply within the book. And one of the things that really kind of stood out for me is I have with my teens that I mentor. Basically, it’s pro bono. I meet with them. I’m setting up masterminds because in five years, I want to see a few of the teens in that mastermind giving back. I want to really see that. But the DFG are you crazy or are you destined for greatness, man? What was going through. Mind into your fingers as you were kind of putting together this chapter about your mission statements and basically kind of doing the things that other people aren’t willing to do. Well, it’s interesting. With the mission statement, I had heard an audio, a podcast, and I kind of knew that in the back of my mind, I needed some kind of mission statement. But it was really just something that was out there, and it was actually a couple speaking, and they made it crystal clear that I need a life’s mission statement. And I did a lot of soul searching. And the coincidence, which Einstein says coincidence is God’s way of being anonymous, right? So no such thing as a coincidence. But the coincidence was that the mission statement that I came up with came up with a few months before, like a month before COVID hit, right around the end of whatever COVID hit. 2019, 2020. Forget already. Now it’s already a blur already, right? But it came out. I came up with it, and it was based on some scripture. It was based on just soul searching and what really my purpose on this planet is and again, around being the light. So the minute I just put pen to paper, if you will, it just came out. Boom. It was just there. It was in my heart. But now I needed to get out there. And there rare times, because it’s somewhat personal, the rare times I’ve shared it publicly, I get choked up because it really means so much to me. It really does. Yeah. If you don’t mind sharing a little bit of that, again with the squad as maybe a reminder that didn’t listen to the episode, like how it really built up, because the reason why I really picked this was because you’re a bullied kid. Okay. Or this chapter, one of the chapters I picked, because you’re a bullied kid. And did you at that time have any realization that you were DFG, that you were destined for greatness at all? I did, to be honest. I think we may have touched on this a little bit. Part. There was times in my life where as a kid, in my room alone, I felt like I was a superhero. I felt like there was a know, maybe like the Spider Man, right? He was this awkward bullied kid, and then he turns into Spider Man. And I wasn’t a big Spider man fan back then. I was more Batman or Superman. But there was something about me, and I knew that, yes, I was destined for greatness. And I also had this connection with God back in the day. I have a big one today, but back then, and there was a big lapse in my life, but that also and I knew that, yeah, someday something big was going to happen in my life for sure. But here we are and fulfilling that mission, if you will, right? Yeah. Who’s the person that really that you first remember speaking that into you. That’s the other thing. Right or wrong, I didn’t have anybody. In my life that was really speaking greatness into me. I know my dad would always say, whatever you put your mind to, you’ll succeed at. He did say that growing up. So that was one seed that was planted, but there was really nobody in my life, and maybe some of it was just who was around me. Maybe some of it was I isolated myself, but there was really nobody uplifting me, so maybe it was divine intervention. I don’t know. But somehow the seed was planted, and it’s inside of me and germinating as we speak. I love it, and it just keeps growing. It’s like a valued weed that just keeps growing and growing and growing. So you also mentioned that it’s hard let me see. What was it? I can’t find it right off the dev. It’s hard to hit a target if you keep so let’s unpack that a little bit, Steve, because it can go different ways. But what was the meaning behind when you were. We’re kind of talking about that. Well, again, I’ll give you an example, right? So I’m mentoring a know, you know this Fergie, because back in the day when I was being the shy introverted guy, a mentor came in my life and he said that you need to meet three strangers every day and be an introvert. That’s like ridiculous. Not to mention when you’re from New York, if you’re going to talk to a stranger, you’re going to get a shot or kidnapped. Just, just way out of my comfort zone, for sure. But I did it, and of course, major learning happened and it transformed me and really stretched me, got out of my comfort zone in that part of me, right? So a lot of physical getting out of my comfort zone, being in the martial arts, but that was sort of, in some ways in my own little box in my own little world, right? I was Steve the martial artist in that world. But when you get out of that world, who is this guy? Right? So, long story short, I’ve paid that forward. I met to some people like you, Fergie. And I actually wanted. To a guy, actually, was yesterday. We’re talking, and he’s trying to meet strangers and get the right results. And we’ve been working on a lot of stuff with him because there’s been some challenges with his. He could be a little hard edged, and there’s some other things. Right. So the follow up message after he meets a stranger and the goal is to get on a connect call after you meet, right. Right. Because, again, what’s good is meeting a stranger, whether it be on social media or in person, out and about, if that’s the end of it, you exchange cards or numbers and you never connect again. What good is that? Well, this guy was a beast. He’s, like, meeting four, five, six a day. Like, incredible. Right. Now, granted, he’s in the Carolinas, so it’s not like New York, where know, when you’re in the south, it’s like you meet a stranger, and after, like, five minutes, like, hey, man, you should come over for dinner tonight. Very different than York. Sure. And Florida doesn’t count as the south. Florida is like New York transplant. The more north we go, the more south we are here. Absolutely, exactly. Although because of the weather, people are definitely more friendlier in Florida, for sure. But anyway, so he’s not getting results. And so we started tweaking some of the things that he was doing in terms of how some of his self talk, some of the, you know, who, you know, some of the way he’s interacting with people. And he said to me yesterday, he said, I was thinking about maybe changing the messaging after I connect with somebody. And I said, well, if we do that, we’re not going to know what the real route and what we needed to fix because we won’t know if it’s is it this that we’re working on or the new messaging that’s getting the result. Right. So, again, in the, in the concept of the real world, if you will, if you have a bullseye and you keep moving the target right. And you are a marksman, I believe. Right. I did a little bit of that. Yeah. I don’t know like you do. Right. But I know that you got to check wind, and there’s all these different things, and you’re zeroing in, right, to try to get to that target. Right. But if that target keeps moving, the zeroing in doesn’t happen. Right. It happens in life and in goals, and it’s the same parallel. And a lot of times, people just keep moving. They keep changing things. No, let’s keep working tight, getting tighter, tighter, tighter on what we’re doing. Right. And then we could figure out, okay, maybe we need to shift from there, but just can’t keep changing stuff because then you’ll never know what you’ll never be able to narrow it down. Just curious. This gentleman’s connecting with people, is he trying to build business relationships with them? Personal relationship? What’s his end goal on that? It’s a combination, just like with me, right? Sure. And that’s the philosophy that I try to push forward to. People that do want to listen to me is that you shouldn’t go out there with an agenda. You should go out there connecting and being open and to add value. If that means that you might do some business together, great. If it means that you’re going to refer them to someone in your network, fantastic. If it means you have some podcast or some networking event that you can send them to, even better. A book that you can recommend, tremendous. Right. Something but yeah, one of it could be collaborating, doing something business wise together. But you can’t keep that in your mind because then you’re going out there agenda based. And I see right through that. Yeah. And I love it. That’s why with my clients when I do that and they’re really trying to stretch that comfort zone right. And get out there and meet people as I do, the plus equals minus, which I think we talked about when you interviewed me, where you meet somebody or seek out somebody that’s ahead of you, where you want to get to someone that’s equal to you, like you and I might trade. Trade secrets or you and I might say something and there’s someone that’s not minus or below you, but somebody that needs to be lifted up. And I’m just finding that when I go out and I’m living intentionally searching for those three people, that it really keeps my mind in harmony. I don’t believe in balance. I think balance is zero and it’s junk, but it keeps that harmonic hustle going in my life. And I love that you and I kind of see that. Listen, man, if you start changing stuff on a whim and moving that target, there’s never going to be any fulfillment. And that just really kind of resonated with me. I kind of highlighted, like, three different passages within the book. And how about some people, especially in this day and age, might get a little butthurt about it, but when you wrote when life punches, you punch it back, right? And you mentioned something that we say in jiu jitsu or even wrestling, I’m sure you do in martial arts as well, about staying in the pocket. Okay, so give us a little bit of insight on what. It means? Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of times when life hits us, many people have a tendency to run and to give up quick, or it’s along the lines of the grit stuff. Right. But staying in the pocket and not being afraid to take it, that’s what I love about the martial arts. Right? Sure. We’re taught the jiu. Jitsu means the yielding way. Right. The American translation or English translation of the Japanese word. Right? Right. And you take their energy and you’re able to whatever. You know what I mean? Let it go past you or around you or over you. Use it to your advantage, if you can. Use it to your advantage. Right. Instead of just backing up. Right. In fact, what I learned in the arts I know, I’m sure you have as well. The last thing you want to do is back up. You want your energy to move forward somehow, some way. So when we were taught in terms of that powering. I think that’s the word I’m looking for. You know what I mean? If somebody’s coming at you, don’t go back and block it. Go forward and block it, right. Move forward, block. And then, in fact, I was taught block punch and then the parallel to that, and I may have included in the book, I don’t remember, but a lot of times when you’re dealing with life conversations, people that are a little aggressive with you, people that want to control conversations, I’ve learned to block punch. And what I mean by that is you block. When they come out with you with a question or something, you can answer it, which is block. Right. And then you punch by asking another question. Another question on that. And now you’re back in control of the fight. Right? Sure. Same thing, right. We were taught in the arts, right? If the one who’s throwing the techniques or kicking or punching in the karate world, they’re in control of the fight. The one who’s blocking is obviously not. Right. Block and punch. Right. And so, again, it’s being in the fight, being in the game, not trying to just back up or just give up. Right. But it’s being in there and just never, never quitting. Right. It’s just getting in there and staying in there and stay in the pocket. Yeah. And basically, if you stick to the protocol that you’re trained with, like you said, you can block, punch or what. And I love that you use the analogy that someone fires something at you. They’re really demanding, controlling the conversation, like ask a question of them to make them step back. And like you said, that makes them actually step back and really diffuses a lot of situations as well. Definitely. I love that a lot of police officers kind of use that a little bit with the questionings because police officers and shout out to the first responders out there, they’re showing up on people’s worst days of their lives, and for them to stay in the pocket is pretty amazing. So. With. Are you doing any kind of signings or anything coming up here soon? Steve yes, sir. So it’s in the New York area. It’s in Westchester County. In Austin, New York. We’re going to have a book signing, and it’s going to be on August eigth. Sorry, august 3. Thursday, August 3 at 07:00 P.m.. And I think it’s the bookstore of Humanity is the name of the book. Wow. I’m blanking on the name, but yes, it’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m excited about it. We’re going to have some snacks. We’re going to have great fellowship, and I’m pretty sure we’re going to have a pretty darn good turnout, so it should be a lot of fun. That’s great, man. And that’s where, again? Is it in Connecticut or Austin, New York? Austin, New York. You said that. Yeah. So a little bit, I would say about ten to 15 miles north of northwest of White Plains, New York. Anyone knows the heart of Westchester County, New York. Nice. Probably about 25 miles north of. York City. Oh, wow. Why there? I mean, this is freaking fantastic, but is it something you’re connected with there? Yeah. Gentleman Rob Lowenthal. Shout out to him. Rob he’s in my network. So I went to a book signing. I haven’t gone to a lot. In fact, that might have been my only one. And a lady named Nikki Genjemi was there. She was actually the one doing the book sign lining. And I really appreciate it, because I was stalled with this book. Fergie I was really stalled. The book was kind of written. It needed to be edited. It needed to be formatted for Amazon Kindle. And I was stuck. I was like I just was stalled. It was, like, months. And I talked to her, and I said, Nikki, how did you get it from wherever it was done? She’s like, I got to tell you about this lady, Heather Mays. And Heather was incredible. So she connected me with Heather. And within, like, three weeks of when we started working. It was done. It was amazing. What a blessing. So I have a lot of good memories, and obviously Rob said, hey, you want to have a book signing here? Let’s do it. For sure. It’s good. And that comes about just because you’re a man, and I know that term’s thrown around a lot, but you are shitly. Kind of the master connector. Like, you’ve introduced me to some people, Steve, and I’m hope I’ve reciprocated a little bit to you. But with regards to the people you introduced, you knew that fur, you need to meet this guy. It was like, that’s what I love about you. And it’s funny, Scott, steve and I unfortunately meet in the flesh, but, I mean, we will maybe next time he comes to, you know, to the East Coast sometime. I love Vero by the I think when I was down in Vero, I think it was bad timing. You were out of town. Yeah, I was. I was down about a year ago, roughly, in Vero. We’ve went to, like, three weddings in Vero and. Past. So because it’s so beautiful there on the beach area and stuff, like Gloria Esteban’s house hotel is there. A lot of people throw their weddings there. It’s just absolutely beautiful. So, Steve, we have kind of like a lightning round. Again, one. I kind of want to see your answers compared to last time. Okay. And also, I added a couple new ones in there. All right, so, squad, we’re going to take my good friend Steve Spiro through my leveling up lightning round just as soon as we get back from thanking our sponsors and affiliates. Time to shine. Today podcast. Varsity squad, we’re back. And, Steve, you know the rules, man. 5 seconds, no explanations, and we’re going to level up here. You ready to go? Ready to roll. Okay. In the past six months, what is any leveling up advice that someone’s given you that’s really rocked you? Wow. Okay. I’m blanking there. I’m blanking fergie. I am blanking, completely blanking. You’re a beacon of light, dude. So you have your protocol. It’s beautiful. Something that is $100 or less that you purchased in the past year that’s worth passing on. You would like other people to get other than your book. Well, it’s interesting that you said that, but there’s definitely several books that I highly recommend. And let me share with you first, my brain is not working this morning. You’re good this afternoon. But John Akoff’s book sound. It soundtracks. There we go. Now soundtracks. Incredible book. Highly recommend, that book. For sure. Beautiful. Love it. What’s your most commonly used emoji? If any, when you text, probably the smiley face because I don’t smile enough and I have a tendency to be a little hard. Got you. Since we’re a little halfway through our New Year or 2023, did you make any New Year’s resolutions? I don’t believe in resolutions. I believe in commitments. Love it. Love it. What’s a headline for your life. Be a beacon of light. Beautiful man. Chess, checkers or Monopoly. Definitely chess. Chess my guy favorite. Go to ice cream flavor, but it be can. Hagadas. That is the same one you said last time. So you’re staying consistent here, Steve. Let’s build a sandwich called the Master Connector. What’s on that sandwich? Wow. We’re not talking real meats. We’re talking something else, right? We can have anything, man. Salami, pastrami, whatever you want. Listen, I am a turkey. An American cheese with mustard on a multigrain bread guy. I could eat that every single day. Actually, I probably could too. Man. I would say simple the stuff. Favorite charity and organization you’ve been turned on to lately that you’re supporting? Alzheimer’s association. My dad passed away with Alzheimer’s. Not because, but with Alzheimer’s. Excellent. And last question. What is the best decade of music? Sixty s. Seventy s. Eighty s or ninety s? I would say right now. The best decade is right now. But if I had to go back 70s for sure. There’s so many memories. I could tell you about the 70s culturally, for sure. Yeah. It’s funny because you’re not that much older than me. And if any, I’m 51. Where are you at? Older than that. Oh, that’s right. I’m not going to say I remember. I actually have it in my notes right here. Squad he’s fantastic. But the 70s is the best storytelling decade. Ever. I don’t care if it’s the Eagles cordon lightfoot, Johnny Cat, whoever. The stories are there because my mom listened to a lot of that. She would have it on and she said, brings me back to my late mother listening to the 70s. So when I actually am editing a podcast or doing my part of the editing, I always have the 70s on. So it’s a beautiful decade. So, Steve, how can we find you, brother? Best way to find me is Steve Spiro.com. It’s a digital business card, has all my links. It’s pretty cool. Second best way is go to LinkedIn. That’s where I live. And then if you’re looking to hire me as a speaker, spiro.com is my speaker website. Love it. In squad, is it’s, Steve? S-P-E-V-E in spiro is S-P-I-R-O. I’m going to do, actually, a three book giveaway. Steve sent me one for myself, signed to myself. So thank. And it’s marked up pretty well. And also I’m going to get three other books for the first one that puts in stay in the pocket and any of our social, any of our if you text it to me, 561-440-3830, we’ll get you a signed copy out from Steve, which will be in time to shine today’s dime. But Steve will actually sign it for you. And Steve, as always, if you could do me one last sal it and leave us with one last knowledge nugget we can take with us internalize and take action on. Yeah, I would say make sure that when you go out and live your life, number one, live it intentionally, live it with purpose, but live it because people are watching you. And make sure that you make a difference with people by your example. Right? Leadership is spelled E-X-A-M-P-L-E. Example. So live an amazing life. Be a beacon of light. And then I believe that if we are light, then other people will be influenced by that. And just like a candle, you light a candle, your candle and go out, the other candle gets lit. We light other people, and the whole world be lit. We can go out there and be an example and light everyone’s, basically. Steve, I’m so blessed to know you, brother. You’re always leveling up your health. You’re up your wealth. He is so others focused. It’s the heart from Steve that really comes across as very genuine. I’ve reached out to Steve for some help, even a little advice a couple of times last year, and he’s like, all right, Fergie, you need to talk to this person. This person, he was no hesitation. He wants you really to kind of stick to the protocol. If you’re working with a coach whatnot? Quit moving that target. Maybe stay in the pocket a little bit and learn to deflect and also provide the punishment we need. And I’m using that punishment as metaphorical. Of course. He wants you to get out, really, and kind of meet people on the day. Know, expand your network. You don’t have to be Steve and know everybody, but you can expand your network to the point where you are enveloping and helping their life. And also, everybody has a step that you can pick up from them. Everybody that I talk to, whether it’s I’m mentoring teenagers or I’m helping veterans or talking to somebody that’s maybe trying to get to where I am blessed to be because of the shoulders of giants that I stood know, listen, because there are lessons that everybody that is going to give you. My friend Steve literally is planting trees he’s never going to sit in the shade of. And that’s somebody that lives for the intention and not the attention. And I absolutely love Steve for doing that. And he lastly reminds us to live your life intentionally with purpose because people are watching you. He mentioned that leadership is spelled ex A-M-P-L-E. That’s the example that you need to set for your squad, especially if you’re a leader. But even if you’re not. There there’s people that has eyes on you that is looking for leadership qualities and there are people observing you. And Steve again, you’ve earned another varsity squad letter here at Time to shine today, man. Thank you so much for coming on. I absolutely love your guts. I can’t wait to meet in person. We’re going to figure out more ways to collaborate, brother. For sure. Appreciate you, Fergie. You’re the really, really appreciate. It’s an honor being on with you, sir. Thank you, brother. Love your guts. Chat soon.

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