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Speech Transcript

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Hey, this is Shea sparks with sparks of hope. And if you really want to learn how to level up your life, you should be listening to the time to shine today podcast with my dear friend, Scott Ferguson.

Unknown Speaker 0:15
Time to shine today podcast squad, it’s Scott Ferguson. And if I got a super Uber awesome treat for you today, and a fantastic conversation with my really good friend Shay sparks from sparks of hope. She really has a fantastic program for helping people and especially veterans, for transforming your trauma into treasure. Shea has a fantastic backstory which she no holds barred, just let loose which is fantastic way to hear how she went from being bullied to being a bully and then back and found a heart to really empower people. So sit back, relax, break out your notebook, because here’s my friend Shay sparks

Unknown Speaker 1:08
When we share our own lessons learned about overcoming obstacles we ignite a tiny spark of hope, love connection and community and other people. And when we ignite that spark, the whole world lights up. That is from my very good friend Shay sparks, and I am blessed to have Shay on our podcast today here on time to shine folks. She is an overcomer of abuse, addiction, depression, anger, low self worth being a bully, and being bullied. Shay sparks has taken her own personal traumatic experiences and transformed her life into a treasure as a speaker, coach, author and podcast coach which rocks by the way you got to get listen to her podcast. She Empire empowers other trauma survivors to invest in themselves by peeling away the layers of the onion that we are And he’ll then she guides them to break through fear by transforming their trauma into treasure in order to find their true purpose and an icing on the cake folks. Shay loves to help veterans and everybody that’s familiar with me in my podcast knows that I had my time over in Iraq and Afghanistan and anybody that helps veterans is a very, very good friend of mine. So without further ado, Shay, I would love you to introduce yourself to the time to shine squad but first, tell us your favorite color and why

Unknown Speaker 2:32
my favorite color is green.

Unknown Speaker 2:35
And why is because it is refreshing and rejuvenating and yet calming and tranquil at the same time.

Unknown Speaker 2:42
It’s all about growth, right? Yes, I love that. Listen to her voice people that and

Unknown Speaker 2:47
it’s Go, go right.

Unknown Speaker 2:49
You can hear the passion come through her voice. So let’s let’s get to the origins here. Shay. Let’s talk about being a bully and being bullied. And let’s let’s start there and we’re going to work our way up into How you have is the chief excitement officer at sparks of hope they’re love your name because it’s like Trump. It’s like Trump’s a huge name. It’s like boom, sparks. I mean, come on, even in your little tagline in there, you know, ignite that spark. I’m gonna shut up and let you please

Unknown Speaker 3:16
know, I just want to say thank you so much for having me on the show. And while you’re reading that quote, I was like, Wow, that’s so beautiful now oh my gosh, that’s mine. And I just close my eyes and literally teared up for a second. You just it’s beautiful to hear someone else say it was such a passion that I have with

Unknown Speaker 3:33
me. It moves, man.

Unknown Speaker 3:34
Thank you. So yeah, I was a bully. Growing up because I was bullied and hurt people hurt people. And I became an so I pm empowered, so empowered people and power people. So yeah, I had, gosh, I don’t even know where to begin as a young kid. Really kind of you know, was picked on I had two older brothers and they picked on me and then you know, it led into other people picking on me. And then by the time I was in middle school junior high age, I became that bully I started sitting on the bus with kids that were younger and me just to make them cry. I literally don’t recall actually physically hurting them. Or even maybe I would put them down because that’s what we were kids right. But I just remember getting some sort of gratification out of just sitting in the next to them in the in the Busey and then crying, which is so crazy to think about. Now as a coach, when people cry, it’s a completely different story. It’s because they’re growing and learning and loving them learning to love themselves. So yeah, it’s a it’s a trauma to treasure story, that’s for sure.

Unknown Speaker 4:50
So you got off the bus you started moving your way through life and whatnot. What did you do first? Before you kind of transform into Shea sparks, calm, you know igniter

Unknown Speaker 5:00
Thank you. So I am a cosmetologist. I have a salon. I’ve been a hairstylist for a very long time and was technically a coach behind the chair. Uh huh.

Unknown Speaker 5:11
Yeah, exactly. I’m a realtor by trade. So I’m like that marriage counselor, then confidant, everything else. And I’ll tell you what I tell my barber stuff that I would probably tell anybody else. So you’re already there. actly.

Unknown Speaker 5:23
Exactly. And I am blessed to have my own suite where everybody has their own suite. So I close that door. And that just somehow gives permit people permission to tell me everything that I don’t really want to know. Right. And I mean, that’s okay. I’m blessed that they tell me that. I’m glad that they trust me. And I had been in an abusive relationship for 12 years. Sure. Thank you. And that actually, that being able to close that door gave me the confidence to be vulnerable with my clients to be able to say that out loud, because I wasn’t willing to say that out loud. Right. And right, and so then when I started to immediately I went into Christian counseling immediately started reading books and getting coaching and started to heal. And I call it peel away the layers of the onion that we are, yeah. And I started to heal layer by layer, and I would share with my clients like, hey, guess what I learned about myself this week? And they’re like, Oh, my gosh, how did you learn that? So I would explain that to them. And then they would leave, go out into their life and somehow apply what I just told them what I did. And then they would come back for their next appointment and like, like, well listen to what I did Shay, because of what you said to me, right? And I went, wait a minute, so I’ve hurt people hurt people. And now I’m right. Yeah. So now that I’m like, empower. Do, am I empowering other people? Oh, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 6:47
Yeah. That that’s, that’s crazy. That’s a huge aha moment then. Right. You know, it’s like you’re, you’re saying that you don’t even know you’re doing and basically what you’re doing because you’re getting Christian counseling and coaching and stuff like That you’re kind of regurgitating what you learned. Absolutely right. And other people, like you said, empower people empower people. That’s fantastic. Because people say for you sound like, you know, this motivational speaker. I’m like, dude, I just listen to people and regurgitate what they say because it helps in my life. And that’s, that’s great and humble of you to admit that because everyone wants to be so original. You are an originally Shay. I see it all over all your social and I see it in your beautiful face here. But you are, you know, an original in your taking their spin in empowering people. That’s fantastic. So what do you think makes a great coach?

Unknown Speaker 7:39
That’s such a great question. Someone who is willing to be vulnerable and willing to be just loving and open and transparent. We all go through circumstances. We all have experiences and When as a good coach that is to really ask a lot of questions about the client and not really share a whole lot about us. I’ve had clients that I worked with for a year and they’re like, so what’s going on with you? What do you do? Like we only talk about me and I’m like that’s because that’s what I that’s what you pay me for is to talk about talk about you not this isn’t about me. So I think it’s just really a good coaches, you know, all of those things and to have the ability to separate yourself and your their preconceived notions of what this person should do and just really focus on what it is that they need.

Unknown Speaker 8:37
So I’m hearing you’re, you’re doing a lot of the listening. You’re probably paraphrasing back to them which you’ve heard. So make them understand make sure that they know that you’ve understood that’s why they are coming back to you. I feel that to find out what’s going on in Shea’s life but give us a little bit of the secret sauce there at sparks of hope that you use to help find Someone’s blind spot isn’t that they’re not always another question I asked a lot. Is there any question that you wish people would ask you but they don’t. You know, I’m saying cuz you’re having to dig, but which may be one of your secret sauce techniques that you can pass on to our time to shine squad listeners that you know help people find their own blind spots.

Unknown Speaker 9:20
Yeah, that’s a great question. So, for me because I am a certified fearless living coach. I help people find where their fear is. So that might sound like oh, I’m afraid of snakes or I’m afraid of flying. And the truth is, is that it’s also it shows up in emotional fear. So are you procrastinating? Are you the first one willing to tell someone that you love them? Are you not being fully engaged and saying what you mean? And mean what you say when you’re having that conversation with maybe it’s your boss or your coworker, or your your son or your spouse, I mean, your parent Sure. Right. So there’s so many ways that fear shows up. overthinking is one over analyzing, constantly having that negative self talk. That’s a huge fear response. And so I help people see that that’s how fear shows up for them. And then we kind of work it the other way where we go into freedom, right? some hope. Right? And we help them find ways to step out of that when they’re triggered when they’re going through something and they start that internet inner negative self talk. And maybe they do some breathing exercises, or maybe they got outside. Maybe they

Unknown Speaker 10:38
take a sabbatical, if you will. Yeah. Even if it’s a minute.

Unknown Speaker 10:41
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Even if it’s a minute they go into the restroom, they take deep breaths, and then they move back. They come back, so it’s just getting out of that mindset of fear.

Unknown Speaker 10:51
Sure. Okay. So tell us about a failure that you encountered since you’ve been coaching. Tell us something. We’ve been Had to fail forward and push through. Give us give us a story. Tell us a story.

Unknown Speaker 11:05
Huh? fail forward. So I actually it’s funny you say this. So I actually removed the word failure and fail from my vocabulary and called it learning opportunity. And I growth opportunity, right? And so that’s what go means to geo growth opportunity. And

Unknown Speaker 11:28
okay, write it down people stealing from

Unknown Speaker 11:31
God, please please do and anybody who’s listening please, you know, use it. Here’s really what it is. And so I, let’s see, gosh, that’s such a question. So I started probably 12 years ago, with a dream, right? I had a dream three nights in a row and then the third I woke up the same time every night, and by the third night, I wrote it down and I’m not going to go into details. What the whole dream is, but the gist of it is, is that it was an idea of having a software company. Okay. And so I started talking to people that do crowdfunding, like, Kickstarter, right. And then that led me to the next opportunity, which was speaking and pitching my idea at startup weekend. Oh, which led me to the next opportunity, which led me to the next to the next to the next to where I am now. And the reason I’m telling you all that is because that’s what failure is, is when you look at it as a learning opportunity is to just go Okay, what can I learn here and apply it to that and pivot it and apply it right? Yeah, and apply it to the next thing. And that’s what I think where people quote unquote, fail, is when they’re not willing to pivot.

Unknown Speaker 12:49
Love it. I mean, sometimes you have to own your No, or even situation, pivot like you just said. And then there’s another opportunity that’s there. You know, someone a really good friend of mine, Leah Woodford She said Get your ass got get get your asking gear, you know. So ask people be bold enough to ask people in start listening. That’s what you’re doing. You’re supersoft I can see. Even when you said you’re in an audience and someone was bringing up stuff to you about veterans even in our conversation before, where you were just like, oh, crap, you know that that could work right? So you’re always open. And that is that’s a huge trait. Tell me something. Because you went to a lot of I’m gonna use it shit. You went to a lot of shit in your younger years. Yeah. What would you do if we got a little Michael J. Fox going on and DeLorean and Back to the Future? And you could go back and talk to that 18 year old Shay Hmm, what would you tell her to help her level up to with your experience now of transforming lives? You’re a mover a shaker you make your crazy successful this? What would you tell her?

Unknown Speaker 13:56
Well, that’s interesting because that’s the perfect age because that’s lit literally I moved from small town on a farm in Iowa to the middle of Kansas City. So, great age that you picked. I would tell her that to get help to be okay with asking for help. Because that was the one thing that I didn’t want to admit that I had so many things going on. My parents had just gotten divorced. I was a senior in high school. I had just dropped out of college for computer science at 18 and had moved in with some friends and we hung around questionable people that may or may not have been involved with with illegal substances may or may not, you know, and you know it, and I was like, I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. And the truth was, I wasn’t, I wasn’t fine. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had been fine my whole life, but I didn’t know that because I was just being a mirror of what my parents were doing. Cuz they were saying the same thing that they were fine,

Unknown Speaker 15:03
right? It’s in our subconscious it’s built in, right? It’s, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 15:09
that’s how I would have gotten help. That’s what I would have done.

Unknown Speaker 15:11
Good. That’s awesome. And, like, we said, What Leah’s told me and I’m passing on to you is get your asking gear, you know, ask for the help be bold enough to do that. That’s what I would tell my my 18 year old self because I would always kind of sit there and I’ll do it myself. And I think I would have gotten farther faster if I would have asked, you know, again. Okay, so how can I ask this one? What is the big you’ve done so much? You’re still relatively young woman. Okay. So but what is the what is the big thing you want to accomplish in life? Big capital big?

Unknown Speaker 15:51
Hmm, well, so when I close my eyes and the first thing that pops up is to be able to travel around to military bases. Is and speak on how to break through fear and transform their trauma into treasure and find their purpose outside of the military of what’s next for them. And just be able to, you know, like Princess Diana went to Africa and all the little kids would huddle around her. I want to do that and have all the veterans be like, Oh my gosh, thank you for being such an inspiration to us in this time, because it’s a completely different reality than what we’re all living in. And so love

Unknown Speaker 16:33
that Shane sure you just don’t have a thing for men in uniform.

Unknown Speaker 16:38
No, that’s that’s really funny. That’s moving to me, though that you would do that for for veterans that you never really served, but your heart You’re such a go giver. And that’s fantastic.

Unknown Speaker 16:48
Well, I will say I want to interject there. My dad served okay. However, not by choice, okay. He was drafted to Korea before them that Vietnam More.

Unknown Speaker 17:00
Wow.

Unknown Speaker 17:02
And he, I think and it, I got it like I got the whole like part of the story six months before he passed away. But something he said, that really made me go, oh my gosh, you handed that down to each one of us kids. And that’s why I had made the decisions I’ve made in life. He said I didn’t have a choice. And I went, Wow, I think that’s why I was in the relationship I was in because I kept thinking, well, I made my bed. I had to lie in it. I didn’t have a choice. And the truth is we all have a choice. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 17:32
like you just said about five minutes ago pivot. You know, no matter what the consequences may be, I think a lot of times so intuition, you’re pivoting towards something better, and like people are just afraid to and people like you help them break through that trauma, which which is fantastic. So let’s take your cell phone out of the equation. What are three things Shay sparks cannot live without

Unknown Speaker 17:56
my faith in God

Unknown Speaker 18:01
connection with people period. This being in this space and time that we’re in right now with being able to self solitude, not self isolating. I am noticing how I am on point to connect and have these zoom calls multiple times a day. And also now because I have been self solid tooting literally by myself a human touch that has really been missing in the last few weeks and so hopefully this will end soon enough might be you know, be the person on the corner with the free hugs sign.

Unknown Speaker 18:42
That’s, that’s fantastic. That’s so candid. That’s beautiful. So faith connection, human touch, that’s that’s a total go giver. So what is Shea’s definition of a life well lived um

Unknown Speaker 18:57
when I was 19 It just was a huge revolution revelation to me that I am here to make a difference in other people’s lives. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 19:09
okay, that was a quick and easy, that’s beautiful. you’re convicted to that. That’s fantastic. Okay, we’re gonna move into our level of lightning round. Okay, five or six questions. We’re going to make them fast and quick you and I could talk for 1520 minutes and every one of them but my producer will kill me. So, but now let’s real quick, whatever comes on top of your head. And we’ll fire through these about five or six questions. You ready? Yep. All right, what’s the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received? Hmm.

Unknown Speaker 19:42
I jump first ask questions later.

Unknown Speaker 19:46
share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success

Unknown Speaker 19:49
journaling every morning.

Unknown Speaker 19:51
Love that other than your website. It Shay sparks calm in my website. Time to shine today.com shameless plug What’s another website you like to go to level up?

Unknown Speaker 20:03
addicted to success?

Unknown Speaker 20:05
Love that? Yes. Beautiful. Okay, right? Other than the great book the Bible, okay, I’m a man of faith as well recommend a book now when you’re reading now that you’re like all high and mighty, I’m gonna recommend a go to book that if something’s in the doldrums, you’re hammering it.

Unknown Speaker 20:22
Oh gosh, I’m

Unknown Speaker 20:25
just as inspired you just like boom.

Unknown Speaker 20:28
Well, the one that’s coming to mind is steal like an artist by Austin McLean. kleon. Okay. And it he I’ll just tell you this little thing that he said which says write the book that you yourself would want to read. Right? And so that’s what I did. Love.

Unknown Speaker 20:48
Okay, your favorite charity or organization? I think I know answers your favorite charity organization. You’d like to donate your time or money to.

Unknown Speaker 20:56
or Nation Army.

Unknown Speaker 20:58
Beautiful. Okay. laughs Question that’s a toughy what’s the best decade of music? 6070s 80s or 90s?

Unknown Speaker 21:06
Well, I would have to say the 90s Okay,

Unknown Speaker 21:10
love it. I love it. Yeah. The 90s beautiful they agree music in the 90s Okay, so leave the time to shine today squad with a Knowledge Nugget that you want us to take with us. Um, whenever

Unknown Speaker 21:27
you get the word No, just remember just like go is growth opportunity. No means new opportunity. Oh my

Unknown Speaker 21:36
gosh this is so the knowledge I guess you’re just dropping on us. This is fantastic. She How can we find you?

Unknown Speaker 21:44
You can find me at my website Shay sparks calm you can find all my social media links on there as well as how to listen to my podcast. And and to buy my books actually you can get that as on there as well.

Unknown Speaker 21:57
Beautiful. We’ll have everything in the show. notes down below folks. This fantastic interview squad This is like I’ve been sitting down here with my good friend Shay sparks she dropped some serious serious knowledge nuggets on us that empowered people empower people be vulnerable and loving go the acronym is go with the opportunity, in know his new opportunity, which is fantastic. We’re always talking here on time to shine today about leveling up or health leveling up our wealth staying humble. Yes, staying hungry. And Shay, you are a rock star. You fit right in here. So you can’t leave us. So we really super appreciate your time. And for rescheduling, by the way, folks, she totally rescheduled which was fantastic. So thank you so so so much Shay.

Unknown Speaker 22:46
Well, thank you. I’m honored to be here. Thank you. Awesome.

Unknown Speaker 22:49
Hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast, proudly brought to you by southern New Jersey real estate, real estate excellence who can be reached at 56124 97266 and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com slash guest. If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcasts. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see a recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you’ve been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host, Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up it’s our time to shine.

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