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Speech Transcript (very little editing so not exact)

Dr. Nathan and Dianne. Come on. Thank you so much. Introduce yourself to the Time to shine today podcast varsity squad. But first, what’s your guys favorite colors and why? Mine’s purple. Purple. Loving purple. Royalty. Regal, baby, regal. Yeah. And it’s in your color wheel stock. How about you? Yeah, mine is black, and I’ll tell you why. Because when I’m with all my grandkids and they always ask about favorite colors, nobody picks black. So I always pick that one, and they think it’s hilarious. I love it. I’ve had two out of over 400 pick black. You’re the second one. There you go. You’re an anomaly as well. So it’s let’s get a little bit to the origins, you know, before I don’t want to give too much away about the book because I’m going to do, you know, a five book giveaway to listeners. I mean, five lucky listeners are going to get free books on my dime. But let’s get to the origins, because, again, the coffee shop discussion at the very beginning of the book and how you got started a little bit doc, if you can get to the origins of where you guys were and then married those two together to build RCS. Where it’s going? Yeah, it started for me, most of my career for 28 years, was being a pastor of a church, and so I used a coaching style, and I didn’t know what to call it back then. Very conversational, very intentional with all of my staff and my key volunteers. Diane built a very successful Marriott K business, and so she had to consult all the women in her organization so that they could build their own businesses. So we did that, and we didn’t even know to call it coaching until many years later, but that’s kind of how we got started. Diane, did you exercise, actually? You have a pink car? Yes, I did. What kind? Cadillac. You had the caddy. Also, ask her how many cars she’s. One for free. How many? 13. Wow. That is amazing. For 26 years. And you can’t do that without really you can’t do that without really caring about the person and the people that you’re building your network with. And you don’t get to 13 cars without doing that. And that’s something that I kind of tell people that I’m even coaching, because I just believe that everybody knows what they want, they just don’t know how to talk themselves into doing it. And I believe that’s where coaching comes in. So I’ve got to ask you, when you guys are starting to work, we’re going to go outside of coaching coaches, but when you’re working with individuals that you’re coaching, what is maybe some of your guys’secret sauce that you use to maybe help them identify that blind spot for that an origin starting point? Well, for me, it’s asking lots of questions that they don’t think to ask themselves. Coaching really is a reaction to what you discover. And where I see a lot of we have to encourage a lot of coaches is you got to get a lot better on the discovery so that it becomes clear on how to coach them. And you can only discover by getting into their story, their personalities, their challenges, their fears, their aspirations, and that takes a while. So we call it professional curiosity, but that’s that sounds simple, but you’ll be amazed at how many coaches tried to jump to the coaching, and they don’t have crystal clear direction on where to really help the person go. I love that. How about you, Diane? Yeah, mine that initial time with them, the first question I asked them is, tell me a little bit about yourself. And I know that if she leads with her career achievement, I know that’s what’s important to her. If she leaves telling me about her family and each little child and everything about her kids, I know that’s what’s most important in her life. So I really paid. Attention of that. What is her first thing she leads with? I love it. I’m just hearing to beginning with questions and really leaning in and listening and really finding what they have. And I love that you said doc professional curiosity because literally I have a whole plaque up here that says be curious. And then literally a little tape on my monitor says be curious because curiosity to me is the biggest superpower in your anybody can ever have. Nothing was invented without curiosity that we’re using on our computers or our smartphones and whatnot they’re very curious about. Thank you for saying that. So if you’re working with a client or let’s say we’re in the discovery period, is there any good question that maybe you wish they would ask you but never do? What do you wish she would have done differently? Love it. I don’t get a lot of questions. I’ve never had someone ask me that, Scott. So I really. Appreciate it, and I think it’s because I’m so intentional. They really feel like they’re the focus. They don’t ask me. So after they get to know me a little bit, they’ll ask me a little bit about how I got into this. Do you realize you’re basically reading my mind? People tell you that? How do you do that? Right. That’s about it, really. And back kind of to what Diane said is like, I want to share my mistakes. I want to share super transparent with my clients because it brings it down to a human level. That’s the one question either where are you taking me? Or what have you did or what you have done differently. I love that. I love it. So with regards to how do I say this? Let’s go into a company. You guys are going to coach it. You have the CEO generally. The one that reaches out or to me anyways and says, hey, I’d like you to come in and talk to somebody. The CEO wants you to come in and help with transformation and help But there’s always that one person within the organization. level them up. It’s like, why are you bringing someone else in? This may be on the little bit lower. How would you go about coaching them from the start and getting them on board for your protocol? Their concern is, we’re bringing somebody from outside of our culture, and we’re giving them open access. Yes, sir. Why are we doing that? Well, the first thing I tell them is, who in your organization is telling your boss how to leave? Nobody. Right. Who in your organization is giving your boss feedback on how he is coming across to his direct importance? Who do you have in your organization that doesn’t work for you and is not afraid to be fired? So. Can just tell them what I see. Love it. And that’s the value of an outsider coming in is they’re going to see things that nobody in the organization sees. I mean, that’s typically my response. I love it. Diane. I’m drawing a blank on that because everything you said is kind of no, that’s for you guys are so married together, by the way. Wait, how many years? 35 and a half. 35. So feel like 35 minutes underwater. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I heard that at an anniversary party once. Funny. Anyway, so let’s talk a little bit about strengths. We’ll start with Diane. What do you feel really your strengths are when it comes to coaching and leading? Yeah. Really connecting quickly. It on a personal level. Gaining trust quickly, just out of my sincerity that I think comes across and being open and trust. Parent like we kind of alluded to before. Very willing to share what I’ve learned in the process. Mistakes I’ve made just really a big encourager to them, believing in them. Love it. Yeah. Doc, two things. One, I don’t miss much from shoe color, grammar, what you say when you first sit down, how many times you use a particular word. I’ve noticed that’s a gift that I have that I just don’t miss a whole lot. And I use that to my advantage. For instance, the client will come in and I’ll say, hey, two times ago when we met, you said this. I’ve been thinking about that. Tell me more what you meant by that. Unpack. That beautiful. So that’s been very helpful, as I’m extremely observant. And the second thing that I realized is a natural talent and I’ve had to help other coaches. Develop is timing. So the key on when to share your story or when to tell that truth or to ask that hard question just because you have it correct doesn’t necessarily mean this is the time to say it. Got to pay attention to the receptivity level of the client. And if you can get your timing right, they receive it much better, much quicker, and it goes much steeper. Love that. With regards to the questions, that might start with the why, how do you coach that out of a coach? To teach them how to do it? Yes, sir. When we actually have taken people through our certification, I will ask them to take notes on the questions ends. I want to see every question that you ask them. Love it. And I’ll just look through how many watts, how many why, depending. So they’ll walk me back through the conversation, and I’ll say, that On. would have been a perfect time to go to motive. Which is the why question. Yeah, absolutely. An action. Hey, you should have asked an action. When are you going to do that? That’s a win question. Right? Because I’m guilty of it. Especially my earlier days. I’d ask it, but try to be gentle about it. But still, that WH eye kind of sets off judgmentalism if it’s not used correctly. I know you guys kind of mentioned that also in the book a little bit as well, and really unpacking and digging deep. So how about weaknesses? Diane? What weaknesses do you feel that you need to work on? Inspecting? What I expect. Love it’s. It’s transparent. Yeah. Am I really following back up on certain things that I’m expecting from them? I have to work always at being intentional of inspecting what I expect from them. We’re like brothers and sisters from different mysteries on that one because that’s the same with me. How about you, Doc? Any weaknesses you like to work on? Completely perfect. I have the complete opposite problem where I’m much more interested in Scott moving forward. And if I’m not on my game that day, I may get ahead of myself and I’ll get pushy because it doesn’t bother me when people push back. Oh, yeah. And I can get ahead and I can get more tactic oriented, solution oriented, progress oriented. And I have to slow down, especially if I’m working with someone who’s highly relational. Right. They would prefer to work with Diane, not me, because she’s so relational. And so I have to work on the opposite of what Diane? I have no problems holding people accountable. I do have a problem sometimes, carry, because. Got you clunky in our marriage in the beginning, too. Does those different styles describe right. So how do you do you guys ever start working with somebody and say, well, maybe it would be better for Doc or maybe better for Diane? Has that happened? No, because we don’t split the money. So I want to keep up with revenue for myself. I love it, being honest. That’s beautiful. Matter of fact, I had a client yesterday and I’ve already made up my mind. I’m going to refer her to Julie, one of my affiliates. Good. I definitely refer out because I know what I’m good at. Yes, sir. And if they’re wanting more from me than what I can give them, I think they deserve that. Yeah, but not from me. I believe you’re probably good enough to know it within the first couple of conversations, too, which really keeps the ball rolling for them. It’s cliche. I use the Ford acronym family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. That’s where I really start the hour of power with them Fo, rd. And I’ll know off of that if they’re the right person, if I need to maybe play some with another coach because I’m not pushy, but I’m very motivated. It’s a military six tours downrange in Iraq and Afghanistan, whatever, to really like, focus in. But some people need a little bit more. And I tried to be that person and I wasn’t the right person for them in that moment and I really wasn’t serving them well. So I love that you are transparent enough to say, doc, that you will give them to somebody that will help them better. That’s fantastic. So you guys seen the movie? It’s a little bit older, but have you seen the movie Back to the Future? It’s in a long time. Let’s get in that DeLorean with Marty McFly. Let’s go back to the 22 we’ll start with Diane. Let’s go back to the 22 year old Diane. Certainly not. Knowledge nuggets, we call them here. Tom Chen today, is there any knowledge nuggets you might drop on her? Not so much. Change your journey, because your journey has been pretty fruitful in connecting and also but maybe help shorten that learning curve a little bit to maybe help her level up, maybe just a little bit quicker. Do not be so concerned about what other people think. I’m a people pleaser by nature. And I can remember when I thought about leaving corporate America. Well, I did leave corporate America, really to be a stay at home mom. That’s where it began. But then when I decided while being a stay at home mom, I wanted to start this business, I thought about, oh, but my parents paid for my college degree. I have a college degree. I’m going to try something. And I’m not using my college degree. You know, I just worried too much about what people thought, I think. Okay, beautiful. I was caught in that, too. And then my mentor and coach said. He gave me two New Year’s resolutions to make every single day of the year. One makes someone smile every day, and I do that. I’m just a goofy, 260 pound big guy. Right. But also, unless I’ve heard you disrespected you or owe you, I really don’t care what you think about me anymore. I used to really care about that. But how about flip to you, Doc? How about you? For sure. Don’t say everything you’re thinking. Would he have listened at 22? No, I would have told you what I was thinking about what you just said. Were you guys from Ohio originally, or were you from always from Tulsa, Oklahoma? Tulsa. Okay. For some reason, I thought that I was wrong on that. So we’ll start with docking this one. But how do you want your dash remembered? That little line in between your incarnation date and your expiration date, your life date and your death date? Hopefully, it’s way down the road. But how do you want your dash remembered? Intentional. Great steward. That would mean so much to me that someone would say, that guy leveraged everything he had for the benefit of other people. So whether it’s money, time, talent, network ideas, but intentional stewardship of the little space and time I’ve been given, that would mean a lot to me. It’s leaving like Jesus right there, man. That’s pretty awesome. How about you, Diane? That she loved and served everybody well in her life. That’s awesome. It’s straight to the point. That’s fantastic. So, Diane, what do you think people might misunderstand the most about you? I can be competitive really, with that, because when Doc said, we don’t split the money, I looked at Diane, and her face was like. I can see that competitive coming out and it’s beautiful. How about you, Doc? Well, we’ll be out on the golf course later and she will take a picture of every ball when she outdrives me and texts it to her best friend or the family. That’s how competitive she is. How about you? You have that competition bug. Yeah, but I’m a lot more stealthy. I won’t admit it. I cannot stand second place. Go home like first loser, right? I’m 50 years old. I’ve been competing and grappling jiu jitsu since my twenty s. And that’s what I want. To win so bad. That’s the thing. But sometimes that might spill over into my coaching because I want them to win so bad. And that’s where my weakness is. I want for them more than they want for themselves. Times and that’s where I’ve really kind of honed my skills and continue to work to hone my skills so how about you doc? Does anything keep you up at night? Not really when I started the lead self lead others for sure I would wake up thinking is this idea crazy? Is our best bank going repossessed my house? How come that guy hasn’t called me back? Who am I fooling? Imposter syndrome big time right? Wow I remember having to work on a new anxiety level I’d never had before that can definitely keep you up without a doubt out keep you going you want to lay it all on God, right? But he made us human to experience that and it could get to you how about you, Diana? Are you like my lady Susan that can just. Fall asleep in 8 seconds. I think it’s just the one thing Nathan said for me. If I haven’t heard back from somebody or they didn’t return the phone call, then I’m should I call again? How many messages do you leave? Why haven’t heard back? What does that mean? What are they thinking? That’s probably the one thing that might look at my head. How about just just maybe one question? I’m leaving some wisdom with the new coaches within that first conversation. How do you want that first conversation to go? With a coach with their first client? Do you guys at RCS real coaching success really push when they’re starting that discovery conversation? What is the one thing that you want them to get out of that? Well, there’s the tactical side. You got to get enough information that you can go home and convert that into a proposal that makes it easy for the client that’s. Say yes. That’s the practical thing. But what I want on the developmental side is I want to say, hey, would you do well? What did you in the moment your instincts kicked in? Because I want to bring attention to the fact that they’ve got good instincts. They need to get their reps in just like everybody else. Everything, yeah. Don’t let your missteps and your fear and your uncertainty over obscure the fact that you got good instincts as a coach. Right. So I always like to ask them, hey, in that session, what are you most proud of? That you did that you just did it instinctively. And I always try and highlight that to them. That’s beautiful. That’s awesome. I just like to leave that conversation. I didn’t sign them with that, for lack of a better term, in a place of possibility instead of affordability. And then that really has helped me out, leaving them in that states. So, Diane, what is your definition of a life will live? That anybody? Well, that I think goes back to that I’ve loved everybody well served, people well, everybody knows I love the Lord, and absolutely, I make impact where I can, that I’m intentional. That’s beautiful. How about you, Doc? I didn’t hear the question. What would you think your definition of a life well lived is? That everything I did ended up with me achieving the status that I finished well, like Paul said, right? Yeah. Really? Best race, man. That’s awesome. I’ve worked with a lot of guys that have stumbled, made mistakes, been fired, whether personal. Life mistakes, professional life mistakes, and I want to let them share that with me. And then, at the right time, say, hey, look, let me tell you something. It’s about finishing. And based on my ability to look, right now, you’re not dead. You don’t even have to be a medical doctor for that. Yeah. So I think we have some hope here. And it takes time. Love it. That’s what I want to focus on, is living, getting back to a lifestyle and leadership so that when it’s time for you to hang it up, you can say, Man, I finished. Well, love it. That’s awesome. And, squad, we’re going to take my good friend Dr. Nathan and his lovely wife Diane through our Leveling up lightning round just as soon as we get back from thinking our sponsors and affiliates. Time to shine. Today podcast. Varsity squad. We are back. And next time I’m in Tulsa, I’m going to definitely look you up, and I’m sure we’ll go over a few of these questions. Maybe 1520. But you guys have 5 seconds with no explanations whatsoever. Minutes on each one. And they can all be answered that way. You guys ready to level up? Okay. All right. We’ll start with Diane. Diane, what is the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received? All you can do is ask. All I can say is yes. I love it. How about you, Doc? Make it easy for people to say a yes to you. Beautiful. Love that. Share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success. Defined. Work hours. Beautiful. Dan, as an entrepreneur, we do whatever we want to do, right? Work hours. Dan. Exercise, man. Taking care of the body. Exercise. Love it. So if you see me walking down the street, man, like Fergie looks like he’s in his indulgence a little bit. Other than the good book, what book might you hand me to level me up? Your one and only life Great book. Doctors, too. I love that book. But one I’ve been giving out quite a bit is 4000 Weeks. Oh, Jason Holzer just mentioned that to me. Okay, that’s on my list. Great. Excellent philosophical book on time. Yeah. It’s time management. It’s the philosophy of time. And I think it’s healthy for people that want to live intentionally to understand their own view of time. Beautiful. Your most commonly used emoji, Diane. When you text the face with the three purple Hearts. Beautiful. Doc, you’re not going to believe this, but I’ve never used one. Okay, very cool. That’s good enough. How about nicknames growing up, Doc? Nate the snake. Love it. How about you, Diane? Duck. The last name was Duckworth and everybody called me Duck. Got you. All right. Diane Chess. Checker is a monopoly. Monopoly. How about you, Duck? None. Don’t like board games. Love it. Go to ice cream flavor, Doc. Well, vanilla. I really don’t eat ice cream. Me too. It’s my teeth. How about you, Diane? Chocolate chip mint. Mint chocolate chip. So there’s a sandwich called Nate the Snake. What’s on that sandwich, Doc? Build it for me. Yeah, every meat you got in the fridge and then the garden on top. How about the duck? What’s on that sandwich? Probably turkey and Swiss panini style. Oh, yeah. Beat that thing up. Beautiful. All right. Favorite charity and organization you like to give your time or money to? Well, local church, for sure, but we also. A ministry that is for women professional golfers. Very cool. Both of you guys. Yeah, I’m beautiful. Beautiful. Alright, last question. You can elaborate on this one a little bit, but what do you feel is the best decade of music? Or nineties? Eighties. Me too. I’m right there with the eighties. How about you, doc? You listen to music? I’m all over the map. And then Beethoven. I love it. Beautiful. So how can we find you? Well, Lead Selfleadeathers.com is my one that’s been around for 15 years now. It’s what we do with all of our coaching and any consulting. And then Realcoachingsuccess.com is our new baby. It’s about two years old and kind of free stuff on there for anybody interested in coaching. Okay, let’s go ahead. Bit deeper into real coaching success, like the coaches that are out there listening, because I probably have over 1000 of them in my email directory and I want to make sure this gets in front of them, like give us a little gist of what they can expect when they dig into RCS. Well, you’re going to see me interview. I’ve got about ten interviews with coaches from around the country with a variety of personal personalities and I did that for a reason to encourage someone who maybe needs to see somebody different than me. We’ve done webinars with some very gifted coaches asking them to give us their secret sauce for some of their best tools, how they stay motivated. We’ve just launched the certification course and you can read about that where we’ll actually train you how to go from how to spell the word coach all the way up to 90 days past your business launch party and how to market it and build your data. So we go all the way from zero to skills up to launching your Space. business. Because basically what we did is we just went back and documented what we did. Right. The first thing we got coming up is Diane and I are going to start a podcast probably in two months. Okay. We’re going to debrief the week of coaching together. Okay. Just going to go back and forth. What was your highest? What was your low? What you learn? What are you excited about? And the idea is to just bring fellow coaches into my little office here, where we’re just hanging out, and we’re just talking about our journey of coaching just as a way to encourage people. That’s amazing. I love that you guys are keeping the coaching community close and bringing more people in to do it to where I feel it’s the right way to be able to grow a business. Yeah. We’re going to have a segment in there called Real Coaching Tips and Tips, where we’re going to crack a new bottle of wine that’s. Our sawmier has gotten us all these weird wines. We’re going to toss that right in the middle of the podcast and just have something quirky in there about, hey, what do you taste? What do you think? That’s cool. That’d be a lot of fun when you think that you’re going to drop that launch. Oh, nice. Very cool. Make sure I’m on that list. Definitely. Get on there. Listen to it. I’m going to ask you to do me one last solid and share each one of you. Share like a knowledge nugget that the listeners can take with them internalize and take action on. You want to go back? No, I need a minute. Wait, ask the question again. Just one last knowledge nugget. Just a little maybe encouragement or something that people can take with them internalize and take action. I got something. Hun. I’ll go. Okay. I can’t encourage coaches strong enough to pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about just because. You don’t have a website. You can’t even spell the word coach. You can’t answer questions like, who’s going to hire me? What should I charge? That’s just all noise. Pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about. So whether it’s coaching or launching a new business or whatever, but I believe that that is in you for a reason. Because you have 99 questions you can’t answer. You shouldn’t ignore. The one thing that you have to be honest about is man, I can’t stop thinking about it. Wow, that’s amazing. But you miss Dan, so I’m thinking, don’t compare yourself to do that. We compare ourselves to the other coach. Pay attention to who you are, how God made you, how he designed you. Take him as your business partner. He knows you. He knows your heart. He knows your strengths. He knows your weaknesses. He does have plans for success for you. And you need to just lean into who you are. Not compare. That is strong. That is strong. Thank you for saying that and both of you guys for being so transparent. Squad. I just had a fun conversation with Dr. Nathan and Diane, and I have knowledge upon knowledge, and I guess from just their book alone, which will be in the show notes, I’m going to do five separate book giveaways. For anyone that puts for real coaching success within any of our social media. Or if you email me back with that or text us at 561-440-3830. I’m going to buy five books and Dr. Nathan, Diane, hopefully will sign them and I’ll take care of the postage as well to get them out. So just leave that within any of the social or email or text, whatever it is, we’ll get that book out to you. But they both spoke about listening and really listening closely while asking powerful questions. Really listening with their neck leaning in for the answers and to be able to build that game plan that is going to help you get into the stratosphere success for whatever you’re going for during the discovery period. Make sure that you’re clear on their intentions and also your intentions. Be very transparent. Diane mentioned ask your coach what you may have did differently. That coach should be very transparent in what that answer is going to be. If they feel like they’re hiding it, that might not be the right coach for you because they’re expecting you to be that. Also, Diane said, don’t be so concerned about what other people think. Be yourself, be authentic, be a nice person, but don’t really care because what they think really doesn’t matter to what’s going to happen with you. And Doc says he wants to be be a good, intentional person, a great steward, that he leveraged everything he has for the benefit of And I also believe that Jesus did that as well. others. Both will be remembered as someone that loved and served. They are going to slide across home plate when it’s all said and done and God calls them home but knowing that they left the world in a better place because right now they’re planting trees that they probably will never sit in the shade of for what they’re doing. For coaches, if you’re stuck on something, don’t be afraid to ask. They want you to get your like my good friend Leah Woodford would say, get your asking here. Ask the right great people. There are coaches, there are people out there that will help you do that. Doc reminded us, pay attention to what you can’t stop thinking about. Like, I have monkey mind, but there’s usually that one thing that sits at the top of the brain and really pay attention that dig in. And if you have a coach, call them, talk to them about if you have a counselor, a pastor, whoever you have, talk to them to really dig deep and unpack that. And again, Diane said, be authentic. Take God as your business partner. Lean into him. Lean on him. Because whether you’re God or your creator or whatnot, they want success for you. In all areas of your life. And both of these, my good friends here, level up their health. They level up their wealth. They both earn their varsity letters here. Time to shine today. Thank you so much for coming on, guys, and I can’t wait to collaborate with you in the future. Thank you, Scott. You bet. Chat soon. Okay. See you.

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