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Speech Transcript (very little editing so not exact)

Unknown Speaker  0:00  

Hey, this is Marc Jay and if you really want to learn how to level up your life, you should be listening to time to shine today podcast with my good good friend Scott Ferguson

Unknown Speaker  0:12  

time to shine today podcast varsity squad is Scott Ferguson and I got my boy Mark j, you’re say with Mark j, a fantastic life coach, I reach out to mark quite a bit pretty much just for some insight on a lot of things. And he was gracious enough to carve out a nice half hour of his busy schedule to come on and share his knowledge nuggets with you. So I’m not going to say too much more but I definitely want you to break out your notebooks because man story rivals the most interesting man in the world. So without further ado, here is your say with my good friend Mark J. Let’s level up. Time to shine today podcast varsity squad. It is Scott Ferguson and I got my this guy and I like ran such parallel lives. I believe you might be a little bit older than me because I’m coming up on 50. But everything else with my friend Mark j is so parallel. We were both martial artists. We both love Arnold Schwarzenegger and bodybuilding both competed in natural bodybuilding competitions. And I competed in some which you know, not so natural. But I did. One thing is that we love that kind of Tony Robbins and other things that help level up your mind your health, wealth and mindset. One thing we did not do is mark is a rock star hairstylist, and he built out companies and this is back when it wasn’t cool for a dude, a guy to do that. And he didn’t believe in that either 70s or 80s. And we’re gonna get into a little bit of that story. He’s built like a brick. He’s not a guy you want to run into in an alley anywhere, trust me on that. But again, my really good friend Mark J. He spent a lot of his life over four decades building owning and working for hair salons. He’s an actor, a DJ, a martial artists, and a natural bodybuilding. Basically champion and competitor. You know, he put all the energies that he really gathered in garnered in wisdom through those endeavors and through those experiences, and now he’s wrapping it up in Awesome, awesome coaching program. And Mark j if this guy will level you up. So Mark, thank you for coming on time to shine today. Please introduce yourself to the podcast varsity squad, but for a What’s your favorite color? And why?

Unknown Speaker  2:29  

Well, it used to be blue for many, many years for its trustworthiness, reliable confidence, strong calm, which has been me of late. tangerine orange, happy, warm energy desire, and it’s a go to color.

Unknown Speaker  2:45  

Yes. And it’s fun. And then these days and age and like I’m you know, I’m not gonna say unfortunately, because he loves his motherland. And I love England too. But they’re kind of a little bit more locked down and allow the rest of the world rightly so. But he’s also rocking that orange shirt as well, is bringing it he’s bringing that fun, he’s gonna bring that energy. So Mark, let’s get into some of your story here. How you started your mindset at starting hair salons when it wasn’t cool for dudes to do it back in the day. Okay, kind of move forward into your coaching endeavors.

Unknown Speaker  3:15  

Okay, thank you. First of all, thank you. It is an honor to be here. Really, really is. I know that people are queuing to get on level up with Scott Ferguson. So thank you for that. I really, really appreciate the beer. Yeah, let’s go. Let’s let’s quickly go back to back in the day, when I began. I have an older brother. He dated a hairdresser. And she used to come every Sunday and do my mom’s hair. And I used to sit as a small child cross legged in front and watch her do the hair. And then I have a smaller sister. And one day my mom went to the local store. And she said now your mind your Yeah, yeah, you know where this is going. You mind your five year old little sister while she watches TV. We’ve all our long blonde locks down her back. And there was the kitchen scissors and I thought How else could this be at the age 10. So she ended up with what you got. And so when my mum came back through the door quarter An hour later, and it was so she had to protect me from my father for about three weeks. Oh, that was the beginning. There was nobody in the family, no history at all of any form of hairdressing, a bit of art history way back. ancestors but other than that I went through bullying quite bad. So as a kid so that was just an add on as well for for a young kid in South London in the in the mid early 70s to go into hairdressing. It was known as a feminine job. That was my next question on what you guys know gay tendencies at all, but I did get a lot of stick Sure, there was a lot, but, you know, showing early passion. I really wanted it and it went from there. So I work for a company called Glengarry. Glen International, which is an American company and they were sitting Harrods in London. And they decided to send some apprentices to New York. So I went and did nine months in a big apple. Wow. Okay, I came back and felt I was a film star. And I came back to to drizzly damp, dark, rainy England, and I was I was pumping, you know, and I was even catching a bit of an American accent. Hey, guys, you got to make a voice of these guys. And so that’s where it all began. And then it was just anything I could get my hands on. Where hairdressing was concerned, open my first salon when I was 21. Big steel borrowed from absolutely everybody. And then went on to sold that went over to another salon ended up with a chain of salons bringing it to closer to time I create a cotton Academy. So I have my own cutting Academy then launched my own hair products. And then it brought me to COVID a year ago, right, and we all got shut down completely. And it just happened to run in the end of my salon run the lease had run out and ready to renew. I was sitting there one Sunday afternoon it was raining. And it was like my Thunderbolt moment. That’s what I call it. And it was like I looked up on a Saturday, I was looking out the window. And it was like, all the pieces of my life jigsaw puzzle came floating down in front of me and went together like the matrix to write and I thought, well, I’m gonna be a coach. And it just it that’s it was that moment. And that was it. And I then just turned it around and went from there. I started doing a few live Instagram shows. And then I went on to LinkedIn and started meeting Paul, who you know, and a few others and people started saying, hey, everything you’re saying is resonating. And because I didn’t know this because I’d actually been coaching all my life, right hairdressing and the martial arts and the bodybuilding. I’d already been coaching but I didn’t realize what what it was and it all just came together.

Unknown Speaker  7:16  

And it was not only coaching others, but you’re coaching yourself. So your consistency leveling off. salutely Yeah, that’s awesome. So Mark, what do you think makes a great coach?

Unknown Speaker  7:27  

listening, understanding, I think leading someone into giving them the self belief that they need to be able to achieve what it is they’re trying to achieve. Whether it be a habit, whether it be a business, whether it be just self confidence. To stand by and like a friend, listen to them. Yeah, definitely.

Unknown Speaker  7:54  

In in Listen, not only with your ears, but all the fives sensitively. There’s five of them. But there’s also that Sixth Sense of intuition as well that you probably bring to the game with all your competitive nature do martial arts is not only like, you know, bodybuilding, martial arts, you know, that’s so individual in a sense, but you, you’re awakened to a lot of the systems because you kind of stand alone out there, right? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  8:20  

Yeah. There’s my quote, that I call it my quote, I steal it from my martial arts instructor that there’s not around anymore. God rest his soul. Many, many years ago, he went a little a little guy that called himself Bobby, because nobody can pronounce his name Bobby Lee. Yeah, and Q. And when I joined, I was being bullied. And he, he lived his whole life in a row. And you know why you want to do kung fu? And I said, Well, I get badly bullied and I want to learn how to hurt the people back anyway. First, it is easy to hurt people. First, you must learn how to heal people. And there’s a 13 or 13 year old boy that went straight over my head. Yes. It didn’t take long for me to understand. I went home and I said to my mom, Hey, Mom. He said, it’s easy to hurt people. First, you have to learn how to heal people. I don’t want to be a doctor. I want to you know, I want to be like Bruce Lee. And she’s no darling. It doesn’t mean that it means something else. And of course, it didn’t take me long to get what that meant. And now especially in the last year, that that quote, I use it quite a lot. It really resonates with a lot of people. This still gives me goosebumps, I would say makes my hair stick up but it still gives me goosebumps when I say it and yeah, it means a lot to me that Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  9:39  

I’ve never heard it said like that, Mark and that that’s that’s amazing. So when you’re kind of in a discovery period and whatnot, when you’re talking to people you’re about to coach what kind of secret sauce if you don’t mind me asking do you use you know my Sharon do you use to help them kind of locate that blind spot. Um,

Unknown Speaker  9:57  

I think having stood behind a chair for four decades. No, no just listening to women, but to guys as well. They reveal their selves very easily because I’m used to listening. And it’s very easy for someone. And as you just said, Scott with the body language, you know, when a woman comes into the salon and sits down, and you’re looking at their hand, think, Well, you’ve done this yourself, and then you say, Oh, you’ve done this yourself. They go, Oh, no, you know, you know, immediately they’re going to be defensive. Because, yeah. So as a coach, it’s very, with what I found so far, is very often, very, very often, that the person will speak to me about something completely different for what the real problem is. Right? Yeah. So they might come on, they might come on a zoom, zoom call, say, Hey, listen, you know, I spoke to someone, could you help me with this, and then 1015 minutes into the conversation, that’s the only issue. That isn’t the issue is something completely different. And so I think that is, it’s not even I love your sayings. I really do love your sayings. But it’s not a secret sauce. It’s just a case of it goes back to what we said five minutes ago. It’s listening and watching them. Yes, in their eyes, watching their hands watching their bodies. Do they stoop? Did they drop their head? Did they lose contact with your eyes? Do they keep looking off to the side? You know, all the usual? And it’s, it’s normally something else?

Unknown Speaker  11:26  

Yeah. And you’re so right about that I had the same experience when I was a personal trainer, where you would get the energy from when they walked in, you knew that something wasn’t locked in. And you can really draw that from them with just powerful questions. I found, you know, just talking and even just asking, because people, you know, it’s funny that when you’re talking to somebody on the phone, whether you’re trying to sell it to them, sell them something or even talk that the person that’s talking on the other end, the line never hangs up. I’ve never been hung up on by somebody that taught that stop saying you let them spew. And that’s, that’s beautiful. So then if I’m out at a networking event, which here in South Florida, we’re able to get out and press and flash masked up, of course, and know talk a little bit, what kind of things if I’m listening to somebody? Are they saying to make them a great prospect referral, our connection to mark j, I’m

Unknown Speaker  12:23  

looking to the obvious, people normally unknowingly, will in a sentence, even if they’re trying to sell yourself in a sentence, admit something that’s wrong. And they might not even know they’re actually saying it. For example, right? What we’re going to do for you today, people is we’re going to do this we’re gonna do, of course, I’m not like that. I wouldn’t do that. But what we’re going to add immediately, you can pick up what it is they wouldn’t do that. That’s their, that’s their like Achilles heel, if you will. And, and and then that’s what I go for. Okay, I’m making no mental note. Physical No, and that, and that’s what I would go for. But when my coach said to me, You got to niche down, and I said, What does niche down mean? Come and explained to me, they said, Well, what you got to get your audience, I’ve got to get clarity on what you do. And I said, Look, I’m passionate about I know you guys don’t like this word. But I’m passionate about helping people. Yeah, I’ve always used the word. I’ve gotten to use the word serve a lot more now, because I’m a coder, but I’ve got to serve people. But it doesn’t matter if someone needs help with self confidence. If someone wants to give up smoking, if someone wants to lose 20 pounds, if someone wants to start a business, because I’ve had experience in all those areas, I can I can draw on what they need. Yes. And give them what they need, and tell them what they’ve already got. But they don’t need. You know, I don’t just want to be a personal trainer anymore. I don’t just want to, you know, say, Hey, I can help you start a business because I’ve started several businesses. Sure. I’m looking at the bigger picture. And I know I’m in it for the long game. So it’s gonna take a while. But, you know, once once people start to hear the non stop talking orange, Mark J. Well, hopefully, you

Unknown Speaker  14:15  

know, I know I appreciate the transparency there, Mark. So is there any when you’re starting to work with somebody? Is there any good question you wish they would ask you, but never do? Wow, that’s a good one. I’m sharing today.

Unknown Speaker  14:28  

Yes, but it’s limited up there. Is there a question they would know I’ve got plenty of questions I wish they wouldn’t ask. But one that I wish they would ask. I

Unknown Speaker  14:48  

don’t have time. So when I’m coaching people mark their, you know, I’m putting out what we’re gonna do in our path, because I’m a coach. I’m not a consultant, you know, I’m gonna drop the playbook for them. They’re gonna go out and execute it. But, you know, a lot of times I wish and I know that you’re going to agree with this, because this is what a coach told me when he asked me that question. He’s like, they’re gonna ask, you know, what do you expect of me? You know what I’m saying? Because a lot of people just be like, Oh, well, can we do whatever he says, but they, they want to be clear. You know, what do you what do you expect from me? COACH mark, you know what I’m saying? You know, a lot of people say, well, what’s a fail? I mean, do you can look at my bio and find a bunch of fails that are there for me. But that no, that’s that’s just the direction I would go in. You are, you’ve experienced so much from that, you know, from your past. And let’s, let’s go with that a little bit. Like you’ve seen Back to the Future, right? Yeah. Okay, let’s get that DeLorean with Marty McFly. Yeah, well, back to the 21 year old Mark J. What kind of knowledge and I guess we call it me? What kind of knowledge nuggets are you dropping on 21 year old Mark j to maybe help them shortness learning curve level up and blast through maybe just a little bit quicker? Because you’re doing a lot at that age, but we have dropped by them now with what you know.

Unknown Speaker  16:06  

I would say don’t step back and hold the door for people. So often. I was I was keen, hungry, passionate to learn. But I also a lot. No, no, no, you go first. No, no, it’s okay. I don’t mind. And there were many occasions that I missed out on a trip to a kibbutz or a front seat that hair show. Yeah, whatever. Yes, I was. My mother and father have brought me up to be the perfect polite young man. Yeah, that’s what I that’s what I did. And I should a little bit a little bit more selfish. Yes. Very cutely out of the way. Yeah, if I zoomed back in that DeLorean, I would say no. Pushing to one side. You want the front seat, brother? Take it? Well, I would say.

Unknown Speaker  16:54  

So. That’s awesome. Because even if you look up in dictionary, whether you use Webster’s or even online, the word selfish has zero negative connotation. You know, I mean, there’s the whole cliche when you’re flying somewhere, they tell you to put your mask on for you help others. It’s not like your button a mile away the doorway. You might hold the door, but be like, hurry up, so I get where I’m going to write.

Unknown Speaker  17:16  

Yeah. This morning. This morning, I’ll talking to a client. And I said, it’s all about self care. She said, Oh, yeah, but I feel so selfish. I want you to be serious because you are not going to mend until you start looking off. Yes. Hey, you know, we all know the aeroplane story don’t wait. Right? The masks drop down. There you are helping the lady next to you. And all of a sudden you run out of oxygen. You don’t pass out on anybody. You put your own mask on first. Yeah, then you can help everybody.

Unknown Speaker  17:46  

Absolutely. That goes wrong. Taking care of your body, taking care what you eat, taking care of your movement, the sunlight. I love it. I love that we agree on that. So then what keeps Mark Jay up at night?

Unknown Speaker  18:02  

How can I level up a little bit more? Yeah, absolutely. How can I How can I? I look at I look at people that are nothing to do with coaching. like Madonna? Or, you know, Bruce Springsteen? Yeah, well, I’m picking rock stars. There, everybody knows what we’re talking about. But how do you think of that next thing to to be different to be just a little bit in and out be a little bit in front? I mean, last year, I googled how many coaches are there and there was 5,442,000 coaches you know, it’s it’s, it’s a it’s a big seal and a lot of small dish out there. But I you know, I know I can be heard. I know that my passion and my determination and my hashtag never give up. Ah, yes. is going to is going to shine through. Yes. I will not start a sentence with I will help you with this. Because you will do the work as you just said you’ll drop the manual on him. Yes, you will do the work. I would just guide you.

Unknown Speaker  19:15  

With that mark, then. What do you think people misunderstand about mark the most?

Unknown Speaker  19:21  

I misunderstand about me. I think because and please forgive me. This isn’t this isn’t big headed this thing? No. But because I’m so generous. I mean, I once said 20 years ago, I was doing a haircut for charity. And they said oh, you know you’ll have loads of people queuing your loads of money. I said, Look, you know if I could cut people’s hair for nothing, I would write shit. That was that the wrong thing to say in front of the local press. It was only local press. But my back did I did I did that cause me a few problems. Yeah, that’s how I feel. And I think people think that maybe I give too much away. Okay. And

Unknown Speaker  20:07  

because of that they think they can maybe walk on you. Yes. Yeah. I don’t think

Unknown Speaker  20:12  

you do that fair exchange issue thing, you know? Yeah, a couple of 100 years ago, you know, if we were going to help each other out, I’ll give you a couple of chickens and you to lend me your dough. Yes, fair drought. Yeah, fair trade. Now we have a thing called currency. And that’s what we use. Yes. You know, you and I have got decades of experience. And if somebody wants a piece of that experience, we don’t say I’ll come and cut your grass for you to say, oh, we’ll give you so many dollars or whatever. Right. And, and it’s, it’s, it’s that thing that I have had trouble with, because I love to help and serve people in a way that that gets them on the journey to where they want to be. Absolutely. And then at the end of the day, I have to go, I’m gonna have to, you know, we got to work out a situation here.

Unknown Speaker  20:58  

Yes. fairness. it in with that, then how does Mark want his dash? Remember, that little line in between your incarnation date and your death date? Like, how do you want Mark stash? Remember, you did a lot. So how do you want to remember brother?

Unknown Speaker  21:21  

that there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t want to help someone?

Unknown Speaker  21:26  

Yes, you do live. You know, the perfect analogy for you is you do what you love. in the service of people that love what you do. You know what I’m saying? It’s like, that’s beautiful. Yeah. For my Katie Farber, if you read the book, radical leap, it’s an awesome book. And I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and dining with Steve Farber and getting to know him a lot. But, you know, he says that you love what you friggin do, man, you’re doing it in the service of others, because every single thing that you’re putting out here, whether it’s cutting hair or personal training, whatnot you did in the service, but they also know that mark, love what he did. And I know that I don’t want to speak for you too much. But it can you and I are cut from such the same cloth. Yeah, thank you actually. Yes. Hey, we are back with my Iron Man, my guy by jack have a lot of trades and a master of a lot as well. Mark j in March, we like to do a loving of lightning round with our guests. You and I could talk an hour on each one of these questions. For what you got five seconds with no explanation. Okay, that mark j that loves to talk like Scott Ferguson. You got to say it and just let it be no examinations ready to level up? Yeah, let’s do it. Let’s do it. My man. What is the best leveling up advice Mark’s ever received? Never give up? Yes. It’s you’re asked to share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success. repeating myself over and over again. So people understand. Yes. So other than your own website market j online and that’s j A why online.com in time to shine today.com my shameless plug what website does Mark go to level up? Tony Robbins. There you go. Great. Great site. You see me out walking. You might not even know me, Mark or maybe you do know we were buddies. Like man, Fergie is just five. This isn’t kicking it man. What book by to hand me to read. crushing it. Got it. Love it. Gary Vee. Yes. Or even unleash the power within with your boy tr. I was waiting for you to say I love it. What’s your most commonly used emoji when you text? smiley face? Yeah. All right. And Don’t lie to me on this mark J. But if yes, it’s day, one age physically, for the rest of your life, physically, for the rest of your life. Keep the knowledge you’ve garnered and continue to gain wisdom. What age physically would you stay for the rest of your life? 30 to 50 to love it. I mean, let me ask your age 60 Wow, squad. When you look at this, man, I want to be that when I’m 16. Awesome. And since you put it out there, I want to keep my hair though. What’s your favorite charity and organization you like to give your time or money to?

Unknown Speaker  24:17  

No Limits. It’s a British charity that deals with kids under the age of 18 that suffer badly from everything. Robert,

Unknown Speaker  24:25  

thank you for doing that man. And last question, you can elaborate on this one. But what’s the best decade of music 60s 70s 80s or 90s 80s? Love it. Love it. Love it, man. So Mark, how can we find your brother?

Unknown Speaker  24:40  

Very, very busy on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, your say with Mark Jay and Mark jam line.com.

Unknown Speaker  24:49  

Buy in squat. All of those will be in the show notes and I just hope Mark writes a book one day because it will be amazing read from what he’s did from the bullet. Trying to change

Unknown Speaker  25:00  

the names. It’s a shame we haven’t got more time. But we will have to change the names because there’s some really Dude, you and I will get to OFF AIR.

Unknown Speaker  25:09  

Yeah, man. Yeah, absolutely. We got to get you a book written for sure. So Mark, do me one huge favor and leave me in the squad one last Knowledge Nugget you want us to take with us internalize and take action.

Unknown Speaker  25:21  

Okay, let’s take action on this Tony RS favorite quote that I’ve used and always blessed Tony with it. But I heard it many, many, many, many years ago. And people often say what successful What is your rendition of success? How do you know when you’re successful is when you can do what you want. When you want, where you want, with whom you want, as much as you want.

Unknown Speaker  25:47  

Love it. I love that. And that is the definition the epitome of a life well lived as well. And squad we just had a free masterclass with a really good friend from across the pond Mark j, you know, he grew up kind of being bullied. And he really kind of set his minds to from something that his instructor Sensei, you know, taught him that it’s easy to hurt people, you know, but you want to first learn to heal people. That’s from Bobby Lee. Just amazing quote, I’m going to put that on my wall as well. You know, he believes that a great coach is going to listen with all senses, including adding in his intuition to help them find their blind spots, move forward and blast through. You know, he wants you to remember to be selfish. And again, the dictionary look it up right now. But after we’re done here, the dictionary does not say selfish is a bad thing. It’s really taking care of yourself to the point where you can actually help people you know, hold the door but make sure that the person is going through is scooting through so you can make it through to don’t just hold the door and stand outside. You know, he wants you to be selfish in a good way and always level up and push through. He’s gonna be someone that’s remembered for like for my boy, Farber says, you know that he does what he loves in the service of people that loves what he does. So and he does that every single day. He’s extraordinary is full of fun, compassion, always leveling up. He earned his varsity squad letter today. He is humble yet hungry. He’s level up. It’s healthy levels up as well. He levels up his mindset. Mark, thank you so much for coming on. Time to shine. Oh, my pleasure is amazing. I had so much fun. We’re gonna do a lot of stuff together in the future brother. Definitely. Thank you so much. Well, my friend. Thank you. Hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast, proudly brought to you by southern New Jersey real estate real estate excellence that can be reached at 5612497 to six six and online at www dot Sutter in nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com flash guest. If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcasts. There’s a link in the show notes to our website. Also there you will see a recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you’ve been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating and tell your friends to subscribe while you’re at it. I’m your host Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up. It’s our time to shine.

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