1. Don’t allow fear or what others say hold you back

2. Be kind to yourself

3. A great coach will not be attached to any outcome. 

4. Do what you want to do in the service of others

5. Practice empowered listening 

www.Life-Matters-Coaching.com 

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Speech Transcript

Unknown Speaker  0:00  

Hey this is Doran from life matters coaching. If you really want to learn how to level up your life you should be listening to the time designed today podcast with my friend Scott Ferguson

Unknown Speaker  0:13  

time to shine today varsity squatty to Scott Ferguson and welcome to Episode 107 and I got to speak with a home girl from Michigan. She is her name is the awesome Dorn Weinstein of life matters coaching. She is all about helping people seek significant change and move you forward. But knowledge nuggets she’s gonna drop are just out of this world. Fantastic. I’m so blessed to have had her on so make sure you sit back relax, break out your notebooks, because here is my good friend Dorn Weinstein.

Unknown Speaker  0:57  

Time to sign up today varsity squad is scrapped. Ferguson and I get to talk to a home girl from the Metro Detroit area and if you’re watching on YouTube, we got it right here Detroit vs. Everybody it’s kind of our jam Detroit in that area to mean that since I’ve relocated to South Florida here is kind of like I can talk crap about Detroit but if anybody else does, they got me to deal with so but I am so stoked. This is a reschedule interview got super sick and Dorn was so gracious to reschedule and be patient with the rescheduling. And we are now here in like, I don’t know Dave 9000 a porn team. But I’m in South Florida where we’ve really kind of opened up and Dorian where she lives in my hometown in the West Bloomfield area of Michigan. And so she is hit a little bit harder up there. The restrictions are, are kind of crazy, but her and I both agree that measures need to be put in place and what’s nice about Doron and her inner coaching She’s really helping out people that are kind of in that stuck situation whether it be monetarily or with mindset. We’re going to dig into that a little bit with Dora. But she’s very insightful, creative, action oriented, who works with individuals and multiple types of relationships. Ship seeking significant change. She does it by blending experience compassion and humor. She skillfully navigates clients through the changes they seek and the goals they wish to accomplish. She has serious credentials so obviously I’m going to play favorites from where she’s from. And Dorn if you could if you please share your Come on introduce yourself to the time to shine today varsity squad, but first, what emoji emoji Do you use the most while you’re texting?

Unknown Speaker  2:45  

Um, first of all, Hi, everybody. It’s great to be on. I love Scott’s energy and this is this is really awesome for me not just because Scott, the hometown boy by just says very exciting on my image. is one that where’s the ray? there?

Unknown Speaker  3:03  

It is. I love it. I love the cool one. How about your favorite color? Oh, blue, blue. And why is that?

Unknown Speaker  3:12  

Well, it’s a double meaning one. Um, blue is very peaceful and relaxing. And I just feel serene. But also my favorite movie of all time is a movie called Heather’s. It came out in the late 80s. My favorite actress, I known a writer. Her color in the movie is blue.

Unknown Speaker  3:40  

You fit right into it. So that’s really where it started. That blue was kind of my jam, and it’s in your color wheel. It’s in your color wheel. A great idea. Blue, you know, right? It looks amazing on day jobs. So let’s let’s get to the origins of Kind of where you started in, by the way, folks, I, this is bad on me, but the name of our company is life matters coaching. And that’ll be in the show notes, all the information to be able to reach her. But give us the origins of kind of where you started, what got you into the coaching because I believe you’ve been certified through the Institute of life training since Oh, three or so. So that’s like 10 years, but give us the origins and in working your way up.

Unknown Speaker  4:23  

Yeah, it’s been a long time. Um, it doesn’t feel like that like, but, um, so I was, I had my first child. And, um, oh, no, I was really thinking about going back to school and getting my master’s in psychology. And I was talking to my mom about it, and she had just taken this course in coaching. And I didn’t, hadn’t really heard about it. And so she lent me a book. And I feel horrible that I cannot remember the name of it right now. Um, But I remember sitting down and reading it and the first paragraph had me, huh, it was exactly what I wanted to do it. You know, coaching actually moves people forward. Sure you don’t sit in a room of four walls, reliving your problems talking about the past, figuring things out and never moving forward and a therapist, not I am a full supporter of therapy. I don’t want anyone to hear that. I’m not like, I’m a graduate of therapy more than once. And so go there and maybe two. Yes, yes, advice. I love the idea of actually being able to move somebody forward. Okay. I find that even there are times during my own therapy that I would hide out in there. And the therapist isn’t necessarily going to push you. Right. They’ll let you have your time and do that’s their process. Right. Bye for For me, I love the idea of actually seeing somebody apply themselves, or have that what Oprah calls like her aha moment and have things click and watch somebody actually develop into the person they want to become Sure. And all of that kind of clicked in this paragraph. And that was it. I interviewed and applied for the school. The organization that I went to the Institute for life coach training, was created by Dr. Patrick Williams. It was a school simply for therapists that went into coaching. Because I had a psychology degree but never practice. I had to go through an interview process in order to be admitted. Gotcha. Um, but I have not looked back. I’ve gotten continued education, certification. I work with small businesses because that’s all forte of mine I love working with all sorts of relationships individuals on.

Unknown Speaker  7:08  

I tried to develop nations over the years, but I just love everything about it. I love that. I mean it shows and your energy and from me just really vetting you out everywhere. It’s like you’re you wear different hats, but you wear them. Well. What do you think? Let me ask you, what did you go to school for though?

Unknown Speaker  7:27  

I actually have

Unknown Speaker  7:32  

I have

Unknown Speaker  7:34  

three degrees. Okay. And a minor. Okay, stick with me. Um, I started off in fashion merchandising, okay, I loved retail and I worked in retail for a number I read that sure. Yeah. And that’s where I kind of got all this kind of business loving business. Man, right, right. And so I thought, Okay, this is a good major for me. Once I finished that I got my minor in marketing. I was taking some other courses and I felt like no. So I started off taking what’s called an individualized interdisciplinary, which is basically like a basic studies. Okay, so you can graduate college without a major. And while I was doing that I really attached to psychology, and then finished both of those majors and

Unknown Speaker  8:26  

networks. Right into coaching. So, right. I also have my Master’s in human development. They all go together with coaching. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  8:37  

So humans have development with this amazing

Unknown Speaker  8:39  

door. What do you think makes a great coach?

Unknown Speaker  8:42  

I think they, I know the things I is not being attached to any outcome is the first important thing. You care for your clients. You want them to succeed so much because you’re attached to this process. But when you’re attached to an outcome, you stop coaching. You stop listening and take on your own agenda. And coaches have to remember it’s not about them. Sure. Just because you would do something a certain way doesn’t mean your client would, right. So you have to stay listening. You have to stay knowing that this is their journey. And you are there for those steps.

Unknown Speaker  9:28  

You, you listen not only with your important things, what you listen not only with your ears, but also with your eyes and the good weather.

Unknown Speaker  9:37  

Right every day.

Unknown Speaker  9:39  

So what is your kind of maybe secret sauce that you might have to help a new client that you have as you went through discovery? You’re going to be a right fit for each other, but what is your secret sauce for helping them find their blind spot?

Unknown Speaker  9:55  

It’s really in powerful questioning.

Unknown Speaker  9:58  

This I knew you’re gonna say Oh, you’re

Unknown Speaker  10:00  

so smart. It’s such a troit thing. Um, you learn a lot going through the discovery process. Sure. And so I have on an intake packet, it’s very simple. It used to be so much more complicated. And then I realized, less is more. And the other thing you realize is that if you pay attention in general, people will always tell you who they are. They’ll always tell you what they’re all about what kind of person they are. And the blind spot comes in when you stop paying attention. And so, when I go into the intake packet, I might have another free session just to talk about the intake packet. Okay, I want to hear more about this. If I were to help you accomplish your goal, and what goals and whatever those are, I need to get To what stops you, right? And doing doing a free session regarding the intake packet can really help with that. It also allows the client to know that even though this is a business for me, I’m not just here to collect money. I hope that right? I mean, no writing into coaching, that’s not really your, you know your focus. Right.

Unknown Speaker  11:28  

So, okay, so yeah, was your family pretty supportive of your move into coaching? Because you said your mom kind of applied for it, right?

Unknown Speaker  11:36  

Yeah, my mom, actually she’s a therapist. Okay. And so she, um, she did go through a coaching program, but it never really stuck with her. I think that she was mainly a nice Friday in psychologist and coaching was a little too, not a great fit for her gotcha. They were all very supportive and really excited about it. I’ve always asked questions and I have family members calling me saying what would you do about this or my issue and right

Unknown Speaker  12:08  

now that’s that’s awesome Darren that your family actually is on board with some people they move into you know something that’s different than maybe what they went to school with not that you say you didn’t because a lot of the stuff you would school you know translate training and coaching but some families aren’t that fantastic that yours are So tell me a little bit about it. We can talk about the Cova without getting political about anything without you know, we stay say very neutral here time to shine but like you know, our credo is we don’t want anyone to feel like they have no one so you know, with the regards to where we’re at right now the people’s kind of mental well being and what are you doing kind of to help people out in the situations that right now because right now, you know, like you I think we spoke offline about people being furloughed laid off they might not be able to afford you but what what are you kind of doing a What’s your thoughts on the situation right now with the men mental hygiene.

Unknown Speaker  12:58  

I am so worried About people. I’m really, I know what I go through on a daily basis and I have my kids here with me. And that’s not easy. And having kids to kind of deal with even though they’re all in their teens is not easy, right? So whether you’re alone or with your partner with your wife or husband or a bunch of children or family members, whatever it is, there is a sense of being out of control. Okay, not being in control of your life. And that’s what’s so hard about the quarantine is that you don’t have control. You can’t just leave the house setting. You know, and just be willy nilly and do whatever you want. You’re cut off from people. You’re cut off from what you’re used to. You have to down if you want to keep yourself and others healthy. You have to put masks and gloves on and It’s a scary time. Um, so I have been offering services either at a very reduced rate on in some cases pro bono. Sure. And that’s really someone to talk to. There’s no commitment. I mean, there’s never any sort of contract with my coaching to begin with. I do recommend to clients that they sign on for a minimum of three months, because that’s usually what it takes to, to take the change. Thank you. And so um, but in this situation, you need to you need to talk to somebody, right? Maybe put something on your schedule. So you and I are talking once a week for an hour and you can talk to somebody different and share and get out all the right stuff that’s going on in your mind. Great.

Unknown Speaker  14:54  

That’s fantastic. So yeah, so blessed that you’re doing I mean, you’re the ultimate go giver, and you know, there’s a other coaches out there that are doing what you’re doing and that’s just, that’s just fantastic because not only is it helping the person kind of level up during this time of, of craziness but it’s gonna you’re gonna be remembered as well. You know you’re leaving a legacy legacy behind and speaking of that, so if we were to get in, meet up with Marty McFly and we have to miss DeLorean back to the 22 year old Doron. What knowledge nuggets would you drop on Doron then that you hope she didn’t use internalize and maybe shorten your learning curve?

Unknown Speaker  15:38  

Stay away from bad boys.

Unknown Speaker  15:44  

Um,

Unknown Speaker  15:47  

I think that I would say be kinder to yourself.

Unknown Speaker  15:52  

You know, having drive and having vision for your life sometimes can get in the way of what’s important. And you can lose focus high on, you know, being kind to yourself or practicing good self care or taking a moment to focus on what you have accomplished, right? I read success at a very young age in my retail career, and I kind of expected my life to go that that drug. Yeah. And it didn’t, because of different choices and decisions I made and for a long time, I

Unknown Speaker  16:33  

spent time regretting those things. Sure. And why so just be kind yourself, right? If you’re gonna fail, fail forward. Right.

Unknown Speaker  16:42  

Right. I mean, isn’t failure just an opportunity to do better absolutely learn, right? I can’t what it is, I mean, that’s part of being human. So I think that I would drop that little nugget on myself and say, you know, it’s okay.

Unknown Speaker  17:00  

Just to kind of yourself and no bad boys bad boys. So during during the discovery period when you’re talking to new clients, what? Is there any way? Is there any question that you whisk they would ask you but never do.

Unknown Speaker  17:23  

Oh my gosh, I’ve never been asked that before. Scott, you have me stumped. Okay. Um, no, no,

Unknown Speaker  17:32  

no, I would ask you tell me about a fascinating Tell me about a fail where you couldn’t help a client who you worked with? Oh my god.

Unknown Speaker  17:41  

There was in the very beginning. My very first pro bono client, so during your trading, um, you can take on pro bono clients because you need in a certain amount of hours, right. And, you know, obviously go through your testing and get certified

Unknown Speaker  18:01  

I, I was obviously very green.

Unknown Speaker  18:07  

And I that’s where I learned a lot of my lessons I invested too much trying tried to solve her problems. Instead of hearing that she did not want help. Ah, gotcha. She wanted to do was complain, right she wanted to do was kind of stay in this space of hers. Mm hmm. Um, that was my first recollection. Okay. Another is is similar to that some years ago, a man on hired me he was having trouble in his marriage. He wanted to fix it. That’s what he said. We went through my entire process. Sure. That had him felt Okay. And then all these things started coming out like it was an open marriage. wife was spending alone time with the guy even though that was not part of their arrangement. And anytime I would make a suggestion or ask the question he just became very defensive Ah, that’s when a coach that’s where not being attacked attached to the outcome has to come in because then you have to make the hard decision of saying you know what, you’re not ready for this. Gotcha.

Unknown Speaker  19:28  

Love is not going to be positive. Yeah, so Dorn

Unknown Speaker  19:33  

we talked about the dash here in a time to sign today and we want to know are my listeners and myself want to know how you want your dash to be remembered your your that little line between your life date and death date, that little dash How do you want that debt your epitaph if you will, like how do you want that dash to be remembered for you?

Unknown Speaker  19:57  

I how much time do we have

Unknown Speaker  20:00  

Gotta be kind of quick, just because my producers over here, yes, but I want you guys to remember

Unknown Speaker  20:09  

that she did what she wanted to do.

Unknown Speaker  20:11  

Love it, that’s, that’s good enough, and you’re doing it in the service of others. So that’s already proven. You know, it’s, that’s perfect. So then to piggyback that, what is your definition of a life well lived?

Unknown Speaker  20:25  

I think

Unknown Speaker  20:27  

not allowing something like fear to hold you back not allow on what other people could say. You know, you’ve always wanted to write a book, write a book. Sure. Put it out there. It’s not necessarily about the outcome of that or the reaction. It’s about you’re doing things for yourself and the experience of it and the experience saying, I did that. And now what else do I want to do?

Unknown Speaker  20:57  

I love it. Yeah. So as we kind of wind stuff up a little bit Darren, we have what’s called a leveling up lightning round. Okay, so you and I could talk 1520 minutes about each one of these questions but you have five seconds oh my god every one of them can be answered in right off the top of your head that’s what I want no explanations. Just answer you’re ready to rock. And ready is ready. What is the best leveling up advice you’ve ever received?

Unknown Speaker  21:29  

Go

Unknown Speaker  21:32  

share one of your personal habits that contributes to your success.

Unknown Speaker  21:36  

Um, I walk when I talk. My brain is constantly moving.

Unknown Speaker  21:41  

So not what you’re reading now or the flavor of the month you see everyone else reading but what is the one book if I was in doldrums? I came to you and you’re just like Scott, like mine’s called the travelers gift by Andy Andrews. But or the go giver by Bob Berg. But what is that book that you hand to people

Unknown Speaker  22:00  

The one minute manager

Unknown Speaker  22:02  

love it. That’s fantastic answer. Great. Love it. So if you could be one age for the rest of your life, what would it be? 25 right there with you. So what’s your favorite charity and organization you’d like to give your time and our money to?

Unknown Speaker  22:17  

And kids eyes?

Unknown Speaker  22:22  

brothers and sisters. Okay, got your brothers big sisters. Yeah. Love it. Love it. Last question. What is the best decade of music 6070s 80s or 90s? Ah, hello 80s big hair don’t care and you’re sporting it. Yeah, I grew up in I grew up knowing some of the same people and stuff. So it is a toss up between 80s and 90s. Yeah, the 90s Yeah, the 80s and you had kind of whether you are a crew fan, motley crew, a cure fan, you know. And then you had just so many different you know, hair bands you had, you know, Duran Duran, you just had Michael

Unknown Speaker  23:03  

collect data Yeah, like he clock deck and you could be a Michael Jackson fan and love rat. Yes. You know, and there was no, not so much in the 90s or other I mean you had rap music

Unknown Speaker  23:15  

with Run DMC Really? Come on so much gain. Yes, right. Ah, but then you know you roll with like you just said roll into the 90s and you have you know, kind of the Nirvana Pearl Jam so it kind of fell in Yeah, and it was so fun the most two decades like these millennials, I love you millennials by the way. I just had a fantastic interview with him lineal just about an hour ago, which, but she said she said the 80s like, my mom is like that. That’s awesome. So

Unknown Speaker  23:46  

all this always says he was born in the wrong generation. really should have been born in Generation X. Yeah, we’re

Unknown Speaker  23:52  

acting like that’s what everybody wants to add.

Unknown Speaker  23:56  

So don’t how can we find you

Unknown Speaker  23:59  

I you can Check me out on life matters coaching on Facebook a one word you can also find me at www dot life hyphen matters hyphen coaching.com love it in all of those you can book a free session right from the site

Unknown Speaker  24:21  

you can right here I’m looking right at it and yeah and folks do that with with with Doreen she’s she’s amazing and she got her websites very well put together and all of those all that information just told you as long as other links to Dorn will be in the show notes. Don’t do me a favor leave the time to shine today squad with one last Knowledge Nugget you want them to take with them. internalize exercise, motivate and use my favorite quotes is let go or be dragged.

Unknown Speaker  24:57  

paint my

Unknown Speaker  24:58  

goodness right Josh? mazing oh

Unknown Speaker  25:01  

my god hang on to so much love really drags us down. And if we allow ourselves to let go,

Unknown Speaker  25:13  

you can level up your life you can door. I love that in squad you’ve just been witness to a masterclass with my good friend, Doron who is a fantastic coach. She She says if you pay attention to people, you know people will let you know what you’re going through meaning they actually really listen and listen empowered, listen with your eyes, as some of your ears all have a sense of she wants you to be kind to yourself and don’t allow fear or others to hold you back. Live intentionally Don’t be attached to any outcome. And this is just blow my mind let go or be dragged which will be her quote on her web page that we’re going to build for and Dawn is so humble yet hungry to help people Total go giver. She’s always leveling, leveling up her health, wealth and mindset. And I’m so blessed to have had her on. Thank you so, so much Doron for coming on. You’re part of our squad. Anytime. Awesome. Thanks so much. Bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to this episode of time to shine today podcast. Proudly brought to you by southern New Jersey real estate real estate excellence, who can be reached at 561-249-7266 and online at www dot Sutter and nugent.com. If you’re a business owner or professional who would like to be interviewed on time to shine today, please visit time to shine today.com slash guest. If you liked this episode, please subscribe on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, I Heart Radio or wherever you get your podcast. There’s a link in the show notes for our website. Also there you will see a recommended resources. We hope that you will support our show by supporting them. If you like what you’ve been listening to, it’d be great if you could just give us a five star rating Until your friends have subscribed while you’re at it. I’m your host, Scott Ferguson. And until next time, let’s level up. It’s our time to shine.

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